Author Note: This chapter will be in Nicolette’s POV.
Now that I remember, the bookmarks have already pa.s.sed 700…. For everybody who has read this and bookmarked this, thank you very very much!
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The Feeling Called Love (Chapter 9)
For Nicolette, her daily life inside Hainzel Empire was something that was always full of surprises. In the first place, for Nicolette who was raised inside the monastery, it was hard for her not to be be surprised from stuff that happens in the outside world.
Since coming to the Hainzel Empire, Nicolette realized how small the world is where she lived most of her life. She came to a realization that she has lived her life inside a cage. The impact was as if her monochrome world was suddenly filled with colour.
Possibly, if she kept living inside the monastery, she wouldn"t envy the outside world. Her mother Beatrice told her various stories about it. Not only stories about science, but what kind of vast world there was just outside the monastery, she told her anything. Nicolette happily listened to those stories, and imagined everything in the world based on them.
Those times were plenty fun for her, since Nicolette never thought of leaving the monastery, she always thought that the outside world would just be a dream for her.
However, she ended up leaving the monastery. It"s not like she wasn"t worried on venturing to the outside world, and it"s not like she wasn"t sad to depart from her beloved people, and places. Even if it was by order of the king, she didn"t want to do it, but there was plenty of way to evade it. The reason she didn"t do that though is simply because her curiosity of the outside world suppressed that.
Since Nicolette is a selfish person, she prioritized her own curiosity.
There was just one thing on her mind, she loved the people from the monastery. However, those people said the same thing to her,
"You poor thing, getting locked up in a place like this.”
Getting locked in that place is true, so she wouldn"t refute it. Was I really a ‘pitiable’ person? For her who was raised in the monastery, having quite a fun life, was she really a ‘pitiable’ person? Even though she never thought that, having people refer to her as a ‘pitiable’ person, made her unsatisfied somehow.
Nicolette wouldn’t understand about the world because she has lived inside a cage most of her life. The always laughing Nicolette, she totally lacked life experience, there are a lot of feelings that she couldn"t understand. ‘Pity’ is one of those feelings.
Also, ‘Love (Koi)’ and ‘Love (Ai)’ were also feelings that she didn’t know. (TL: Ai and Koi is more than like; it"s love, desire, and l.u.s.t, the two have almost have the same meaning though~ I"ll ask my teacher)
The psychological thing about feelings is also outside of Nicolette"s field of expertise. Since she doesn"t understand it, she didn"t explore much into it. Perhaps, the feeling that her mother gave to her is the one called, ‘Love (Ai)’.
The outside world was more vast than Nicolette had ever thought, it was very interesting to her. But, because she is now exploring this vast world, there surely will be things that she had troubles with. Having someone to look after her was some of it. This is how things work, that"s what she said to herself, but her feelings still couldn’t accept it. For her, who didn"t have to clean up after the messes that she make, she felt weird. In the monastery you have to clean your own messes, if you can"t handle it by yourself, you can ask for another"s help.
This was a thing different compared to the monastery that she couldn’t catch up with. But it seems that Nicolette"s adaptability was higher than she thought, she has adapted to the lifestyle inside the castle to the extent that she thought ‘AAh~’, I got used to this eh…."
However, even Nicolette had a high adaptability and had a thing that she can"t get accustomed to. It was about her on paper husband, the Hainzel Empire Emperor, Wolfgang.
Though he suddenly thrusted a knife at her throat on their first night, Nicolette didn"t really mind it. He properly apologized after that, and in the first place, he didn"t really think about stabbing Nicolette that night.
Rather, the fact that he gave Nicolette ‘freedom inside the castle’, her first impression of him would be called quite good.
After that, they had tea together, dined together, and started talking together. Nicolette thought that perhaps the ‘Cruel Emperor’ is just a baseless rumour. Wolfgang always worried about her. She knew that there"re people who were asked to observe her, but she felt that those people also worried about Nicolette"s a lot .
That"s why Nicolette loved them all. Since Nicolette knew that they loved her back, she can love them without worry.
However,
"...."
"...."
The feelings that Nicolette harbord toward Wolfgang, who was sitting in front of her glaring at him, was a condition that Nicolette called ‘Love (Ai)’.
Since she thought that, she absentmindedly started gazing at Wolfgang"s face, then their eyes met. Since averting her gaze after that was kind of awkward, she decided to keep her gaze, and since Wolfgang also didn"t move his line of sight, it ended up like they were glaring at each other. Gazing into each other’s eyes wasn’t some romantic-like situation so it looked like they were glaring at each other.
Leaving Wolfgang aside, it was rare for Nicolette to glare at her opponent, and thus, Helma timidly asked,
"Her Highness….? Is there something not to your liking?"
"Ah….umm, you know. I was wondering why each person has different eye colours."
Though there was a slight lag to her answer, that supposedly doesn"t look unnatural. It wasn"t only today that Nicolette glared at something that she was interested in. Hearing her answer, Wolfgang sighed,
"You, you"re not gonna say that you wanted to examine the whole human body, right….?"
Nicolette gave a smile.
"That was of course~. On the top that I have scarce knowledge in medical things, as expected, cutting people up is still scary…."
"So, you have something you are scared of."
"You know, Wolf-sama, I will angry okay."
She was also a bit angry when he said that she has gained weight, what did Wolfgang really think about Nicolette? As expected, she wouldn"t be that much of an eccentric.
Looking at Nicolette who puffed out her cheeks, Wolfgang smiled. As he smiled, her impression of the normally stiff Wolfgang softened up quite a bit. Getting a bit fl.u.s.tered, Nicolette was trying to avert her mind (eyes) by her sipping tea.
Nicolette liked Wolfgang, that was certain. However, she didn’t know what kind of ‘like’ she was feeling. She felt like it was a different ‘like’ that she felt toward to Helma and Maria, but she didn"t know exactly what was different.
In other words, the feelings that she felt for the first time was too much for her.
" ……...What now, Nicola?"
Nicolette, who looked at her tea inside the teacup, raised her face and looked at Wolfgang.
"....I was thinking perhaps it"s better for me to learn psychiatry or psychology."
"You, how much more information do you intend to cram into your head….?"
As Wolfgang said that with a tired voice, Nicolette bloomed into a smile.
"Until my curiosity is satisfied!"
"....Is that so…."
Wolfgang made a bitter smile.
"Umm, Her Majesty."
Maria talked to Nicolette who was reading a book after her now daily activities, which is having tea with Wolfgang.
"Hmm, anything wrong?"
She looked at Maria"s face thinking perhaps there"s something unusual going on today. By the way, Helma and Marcus weren’t present at the moment.
"Ummmm. This is, please…."
Thus, the thing that Maria tried to give to Nicolette timidly was a small pouch. The mouth of the pouch was tied with a string. As Nicolette opened it, the thing inside was….
"This is, Dragee?"
"....So, Her Majesty knows."
"The one that I know of is the Lozenge one coated with sugar….this is not that type right?"
"It is a candy one coated with sugar. I received it from Oji-sama, so I would like for Her Majesty to have it as well."
Maria"s uncle was Sir Folger. Is it alright for Nicolette to get a gift that was not intended to be given to her in the first place?
"Since I"ve received a lot, please don"t mind it….Umm, Her Majesty seems to be in low spirits…. Ummm, if Her Majesty is not her usual self, I get sad too, so, umm, if there"s something that I could help with, please tell me what to do….
Hearing Maria"s words, Nicolette’s face bloomed into a smile. More than anything, she was happy knowing how Maria felt.
"Thank you, but i"m just fine. It"s just there was something on my mind. Sorry that I made you worry."
"N, no…."
"Also, since you already gave it to me, I"ll happily receive it."
"Ah, yes….”
Maria smiled looking relieved. Nicolette felt like Maria"s heart started to slowly open to her.
After that, cake from Helma, Marcus with his sugar candy that was shaped like white roses, and then, tea with a nice fragrance from Alberto. Arriving at this point, Nicolette thought,
Did everyone think that if they gave me a snack that everything will turn out alright….?
No, in a way, that wasn"t wrong. She indeed felt happy for what they gave her. Especially, the flower candy that she received from Marcus had a really amazing appearance. Nicolette wanted to put it on display forever, but since it will melt before long, she had to eat it quickly. Also, Alberto who gave her tea, other than he selected a tea that had a nice fragrance, he also sent a snack to her like usual.
Well, perhaps everyone thought that Nicolette was down lately, so they tried to give her snacks, tea, and such. She was very grateful and happy about that. But if she ate too much, she will gain weight.
Nicolette basically didn"t really mind her outer appearance, but it still was quite a shock to her knowing that her clothes didn"t fit her body anymore. Even if it was as plain as day that the amount of food that she ate increased, the fact that she gained weight was still quite a shock to her.
Wolfgang said this to her at that time, that she was too thin. Looking at her daily diet at the monastery, that was a matter of course. However, ever since coming to the palace, she ate a lot of meat and pastries, thus she has gained weight.
However, reducing the amount of food that she has eaten is also hard. It was also bad to her health if she was too thin, or so she heard. For the time being, she tried to maintain the status quo. Now that she ate a lot of snacks because of this one event, she felt like she has gained weight….
The next day, Wolfgang brought a "probably chocolate" thing for her. At that moment, Nicolette thought that Wolfgang wanted to lure her with food too. Also, she accepted the fact that she would gain weight.
(TL: I want to gain weight though….)