Cry Me A Sad River

17

The skies darken as early as four or five in the afternoon.

As if black ink has been poured into the air, dusk spreads faster than anything.

Qi Ming pulls out the six bank notes he has been grasping the entire day and hands it to Yi Yao, saying, here.

His voice is low and tender, just like when he takes out the milk and hands it to Yi Yao every morning. His melancholic silhouette reflects blurrily in her vision.

Yi Yao stops her bicycle, “Where did you get the money from?”

“Don’t bother about that. Take it; I don’t know how much money is enough. You take this first.” Qi Ming leans forward on his bike. He is looking down. The red light above his head shines ever so brightly.

“I’m asking you where you got the money from!” Qi Ming is shocked by Yi Yao’s expression.

“I took my dad’s.” Qi Ming’s head lowers again.

“Return it. Return it tonight.” Yi Yao takes a deep breath and says, “It’s alright if I steal, but you’re so clean that every single person on this world wants to do nothing more than carrying you in the palm of their hands, to be blackened and turn sour for me, is your head shot?”

The red light turns green. Yi Yao wipes her tears on the back of her hand before riding forth.

Qi Ming looks at Yi Yao’s diminishing back view. His throat feels as if there is water stuck. He doesn’t know why but, he feels like Yi Yao will disappear in the crowd and he will never be able to find her again.

Qi Ming lifts his feet before stepping down harshly, the gears suddenly gets stuck choppily before the chain falls to the ground like a dead snake.

He lifts his head; just as he opens his mouth, Yi Yao disappears form his vision.

The dim clouds strut across the sky.

As burdening as a black eulogy.

Pushing his bicycle. The chain drags on the ground. The sound of metal sc.r.a.ps across his eardrums.

Pushing until the mouth of the longtang. He sees Yi Yao sitting at the curb.

“Why are you so late?” Yi Yao stands and rubs her numb leg.

“The chain fell off.” Qi Ming points towards his bicycle, “Why haven’t you gone in, waiting for me?”

“Yeah.” Yi Yao looks at his face, “So that you won’t be scolded later.”



18

The table is full of food. The steam rise from the plates. His mother’s face from across the table is faint.

Even if he can’t see her clearly, Qi Ming knows that her expression is ugly.

His father sitting beside them has an even more unpleasant expression.

Many times, his father opens his mouth in attempt to say something but swallows his words when his mother kicks him beneath the table. All his father does is continue eating with his head down. When he sets his chopsticks down, he sets them down harshly to expel his frustration.

Qi Ming pretends not to see. His drinks his soup.

“Qi Ming,” His mother calls out thinly and shrilly, as if there is phlegm stuck in her throat, “Do you have enough pocket money recently?”

“Yeah.” Qi Ming drinks his soup and mutters a reply. In his head he is thinking, what a big round she’s making.

“Ah……this……” His mother looks at his father, awkwardly, “Then did you……” Unable to find the right words. The sentence hangs awkwardly in the air. How should she say, that sentence in her heart, “then did you steal money from us”, no matter what she can’t ask.

A small piece of Qi Ming’s heart sinks. His expression is calm as he pulls out the six hundred dollars from his pocket and places it in front of his mother, saying, Ma, didn’t find a suitable one today, I don’t have any use for this money so I’m returning it to you.

That instantaneous expression of shock that appears on his parents’ faces is well within Qi Ming’s expectation. And so he continues drinking his soup quietly, a few mouthfuls later, he lifts his head to see that their expression has not changed, and so he scratches his head and says, “What? I left a note for mom saying I need to buy a reciter so I’m taking some money first. Went with a cla.s.smate this afternoon but I didn’t find a suitable one, but I did waste some time.”

Qi Ming says as he walks towards the cupboard and searches on it for a while before bending down, “Ah, dropped on the floor.”

Picking it up, he hands it to his mother.

On the piece of paper is the familiar neat handwriting of her son.

“Mom, I’m taking six hundred dollars first to buy a reciter. Will be going to look for it in the evening, will be back slightly later. Qi Ming.”

His mother’s shoulders suddenly droops, as if the nervousness disappeared from her body instantly. “Oh, it’s like this, I thought……”

“You thought what?” A sudden raise in tone. A pretty reb.u.t.tal.

“Ah……” His mother’s expression is stiff. She turns towards his father but he says nothing as he lowers his head to drink more soup. How can they say, “Thought you stole money”? How disgraceful what that be.

“I’m full.” Qi Ming puts down his utensils and turns to move to his room, leaving his parents sitting unnaturally in the living room.

Turns off his light. Fall onto the bed.

The lowered voices of his parents quarrelling can be heard through the door.

A sentence he can make out is, “It’s all your fault! Thank goodness we didn’t wrongly accuse our son! How can you be suspicious of your own child?”

What sounds more clear is the sentence that came after, “The person who was so tense and nervous that she cried so much and almost wanted to hang herself, wasn’t it you? All I did was tell you I lost six hundred dollars, I didn’t say Qi Ming took it.”

The words blur out after that.

Qi Ming tugs his blanket over his head.

Darkness envelops him.

Yi Yao is clearing the table.

Just as she brought them into the kitchen, her phone rings in her pocket.

Looking at it, it’s a message sent from Qi Ming.

“You’re so clever. Thank goodness I wrote a note before I went home.”

Yi Yao smiles as she folds her phone. She continues carrying the plates into the kitchen.

She turns the tap on. The water splashes out.

She looks at the longtang outside. Warm yellow light emits from every family’s windows.