Chapter 1078: Scram!
Translator: G.o.dBrandy Editor: Kurisu
Moreover, Senior White Two was one of the rulers of the Netherworld Realm. If he was willing to help, then everything would go much smoother!
However, he wanted to hear a joke… Song Shuhang had seen many jokes just recently, but in retrospect, none of them felt funny.
He couldn’t think of anything decent. As people laughed more and more, it became hard for ordinary jokes to make them laugh. For some jokes, they might laugh the first time, but when they thought about it, they would find that it wasn’t really that funny.
Sometimes, it was painful to see someone who was that difficult to get to laugh.
“Senior White, wait for just a moment!” Song Shuhang replied in his mind. “Today, I’ll definitely find a joke that will get you to laugh.”
Today was different from the usual, and many seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were present. The more people there were, the better it was for him. With so many people, how hard could it be to find a joke that could make Senior White Two laugh?
“Alright, I’ll give you time to prepare.” Senior White Two was really in a good mood today, not even bothering to give Song Shuhang any restrictions.
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At this moment, in the underground laboratory.
The members of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were depressed when Song Shuhang suddenly said, “Seniors, which of you knows a good joke? Can you give me one?”
Venerable Spirit b.u.t.terfly: “…”
Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue: “…”
True Monarch Yellow Mountain: “…”
Su Clan’s Sixteen curiously said, “Shuhang, why do you suddenly need a joke?”
Song Shuhang said, “I just received a message from an expert from the Netherworld Realm… Ah, no, it’s ‘beeeep~’. Anyway, it’s a message from someone with great ability. He said he had a way to help us. However, we need to tell him a joke and make him laugh first. Seniors, can you think up a joke real quick?”
“Is it that senior? If it’s that senior, perhaps he really can help us.” True Monarch Eternal Fire realized that when Song Shuhang helped the scholarly faction regain control of the ‘world of the golden lotus’, this senior whose name couldn’t be mentioned had secretly a.s.sisted him.
Fairy Lychee asked, “What kind of joke do you need?”
Song Shuhang said, “As long as it’s interesting enough, it should do. Anyway, I just need one that would make him laugh.”
Su Clan’s Sixteen said, “I’m going to look online.
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber responded, “I remember a lot of interesting ones… but all of them are R-18.”
“Senior Thrice Reckless, please avoid those.” Song Shuhang waved his hands repeatedly. He couldn’t imagine telling Senior White Two R-18 jokes. If he offended Senior White Two, it wouldn’t be fun being rewarded with the ‘G.o.d Slaying Cannon’.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain said, “Hm, I remember something I experienced a really long time ago. At that time, I was just a cultivator of the Fourth Stage. I’ve already told all the fellow daoists in the group about it before, but little friend Shuhang might not have heard it yet.”
Then, True Monarch Yellow Mountain began telling the story.
[It was a very long time ago. A young me, just like many fellow daoists, left the sect and made his way into the world. One day, there was a Sixth Stage True Monarch Senior on Mt. Tai who was going to give a speech, and so I travelled thousands of miles to listen to that speech.
At that time, there were many seniors who went to listen to that senior’s speech. And so, the entire place was filled with all kinds of cultivators. I, who at the time had just left the sect to experience the world, was enthralled seeing such a scene.
I squeezed into a corner and waited for the Sixth Stage True Monarch to begin his speech.
When I finally found a good spot, I turned around and looked to one side. There, I saw a slender young daoist leaning against a pillar right beside me. He was also someone at the Fourth Stage Realm, and had an outstanding temperament.
When I saw him, I couldn’t help greeting him, and said, “I’m Daoist Yellow Mountain, I just entered the Fourth Stage. May I know Fellow Daoist’s daoist name?”
That fellow daoist suddenly paused, and said, “Scram.”
At that time, I felt especially embarra.s.sed. As a newcomer, I experienced the coldness of the world of cultivation for the first time.
So, I never said another word during that entire speech on Mt. Tai.
Afterward, I practiced hard and reached the Fifth Stage Realm.
Then, when I was out shopping for materials at a cultivator market one day, I came across that young daoist with an outstanding temperament once again. At that time, he was at the peak of the Fourth Stage, just a step away from the Fifth Stage. His accomplishments weren’t as good as mine.
I don’t know why, but when I saw him again, I suddenly recalled the cold voice with which he replied to me with during that speech on Mt. Tai.
My heart felt rather stifled, and I had to pour out what was on my mind.
So… I followed him in secret. Then, after leaving the cultivator market and getting to a place where n.o.body else was present, I beat him up.]
At this point, True Monarch Yellow Mountain paused with an embarra.s.sed look on his face.
Song Shuhang looked puzzled––there didn’t seem to be anything funny in this story…
[After beating him up, I asked him if he remembered me.
He said: I remember, you’re Fellow Daoist Yellow Mountain.
I didn’t expect him to remember my daoist name, so I was slightly shocked.
Then, the corners of his mouth twitched as he said, “I’m called ‘Scholar Scram’, my daoist name is Scram.”]
“Pfff~” Song Shuhang couldn’t help but laugh. “Then what happened?”
True Monarch Yellow Mountain laughed dryly. “I’m not going to talk about what happened after that. Anyway, just know that I paid a lot to apologize.”
Fairy Lychee commented, “Fortunately, my daoist name is just ‘Lychee’. And, after getting to know Senior Yellow Mountain, he didn’t beat me up my mistake.”
Northern River’s Loose Cultivator remarked, “Fortunately, my daoist name is Northern River, which didn’t give Senior Yellow Mountain a chance to beat me up.”
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber followed in their wake. “Fortunately, my daoist name is Thrice Reckless, and I didn’t get beat up by Senior Yellow Mountain because of my name.”
Song Shuhang couldn’t help but say, “No, Senior Thrice Reckless, you aren’t the same. When you reveal your daoist name, it’s very likely that someone might beat you up.”
Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “…”
“Actually, the daoist names of the people in our group are pretty normal… were.” True Monarch Yellow Mountain was halfway through what he was saying when he realized he had to change it.
Recently, the style of the daoist names of the group were very abnormal––Song Shuhang had seven daoist names, and there was still Soft Feather with her 365+1 daoist names.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain asked, “Is this joke good enough?”
“Wait.” Song Shuhang contacted Senior White Two in his mind once again. “Senior White, are you there? Did you hear True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s joke?”
“I heard it,” Senior White Two said.
Song Shuhang asked, “Was it interesting? Satisfying?”
Senior White Two said, “If the perfect score was 100, that story would barely hit 54. But, it’s the first time you got a score close to pa.s.sing, so I’ll just give you another six points to get you to 60 points. You pa.s.s.”
“Then, may I request for Senior White Two to lend a hand and send us to the Netherworld?” Song Shuhang said with a sigh of relief.
Senior White Two asked, “Why would you want to go there?”
Song Shuhang asked, “Eh? Senior, didn’t you say that you had a way to help us solve the problem?”
Senior White Two replied, “Yeah, I do have a way to help you, but it isn’t by sending you to the Netherworld. That place is now under the metal ball’s control, and I’m still sealed in the world of the black lotus.”
“Then, where are we going?” Song Shuhang asked curiously.
Senior White Two said, “The main world has its ‘Heavenly Tribulation Realm’ for pract.i.tioners all over the universe, and the Netherworld Realm naturally has its own corresponding place. Furthermore, coincidentally, there is a Seventh Stage Venerable contaminated with evil energy that will be entering the ‘Demonic Tribulation Realm’ soon. When you’ve prepared, I’ll open a back door and get you into the ‘Demon Tribulation Realm’ when the contaminated person enters. Then, you just have to stay away from them while you go test out the power of your guided missile. After testing it out, I’ll pull you guys out.”
“Will that work?” Song Shuhang blinked.
Senior White Two said, “I’m still the ruler of the Netherworld, alright? I have the ability to open a backdoor.”
Song Shuhang, who was still somewhat worried, said, “But are we going to be fine in the ‘Demonic Tribulation Realm’? We aren’t going to get involved in the demonic tribulation, right?”
Song Shuhang was worried because he had almost died in the last trip he took to the Heavenly Tribulation Realm.
If it weren’t for the Almighty Merchant, who provided him with service at just the right time, he might have been turned into ashes by the heavenly tribulation.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be handling this myself. As long as you don’t make contact with the contaminated Seventh Stage Venerable, there will definitely be no problem,” Senior White Two promised.
With the a.s.surance of Senior White Two, Song Shuhang felt a little more relieved.
Song Shuhang asked, “Wait, will I still be able to open my Inner World after we enter the ‘Demon Tribulation Realm’?”
The guided missiles were all placed in his Inner World. If his access to the Inner World was blocked like when he entered the Heavenly Tribulation Realm, then he had to take out the guided missiles in advance.
“Don’t worry, I’ll act as the middleman. There will be no problem,” Senior White Two said.
Song Shuhang then asked, “Then, can I disclose the information about the ‘Demonic Tribulation Realm’ to the seniors of the Nine Provinces Number One Group?”
“Up to you,” Senior White Two said without care.
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In the underground laboratory, everyone was looking at Song Shuhang who had his eyes closed, knowing that he was talking to some powerful existence.
They were wondering whether that existence would be satisfied with True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s story.
At this moment, Song Shuhang opened his eyes. “Success.”
Venerable Seventh Cultivator of True Virtue asked, “Then, what do we do next?”
“Everyone, gather together. In a while, that expert of the Netherworld will directly open a backdoor to send us to a place where we can test out the guided missile,” Song Shuhang continued. “However, while that place isn’t the Netherworld, it’s a world similar to the Heavenly Tribulation Realm. So, everyone has to be careful and stay as far away as possible from the Seventh Stage Venerable-rank demon that is about to transcend their tribulation to avoid getting pulled into their demonic tribulation.”
Just as Song Shuhang said this, True Monarch Yellow Mountain suddenly took out his phone, and unlocked it.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain said, “Just now, Xuan Nu Sect’s Skylark suddenly said that she was going to transcend her tribulation. But she isn’t transcending the heavenly tribulation. It seems like it’s the Netherworld Realm’s demonic tribulation; she was completely contaminated.”
…Another coincidence?