Author"s note; One person asked me to indicate where the 18+ stuff begins and ends... unfortunately, I will have to leave that up to everyone"s personal interpretation! If this was just about s.e.x then I could likely point it out, but the Dual Cultivation description part is mixed in as well which I don"t think could be considered 18+ at all! Plus I ended up writing two chapters to cover everything. That said, there is most definitely 18+ stuff in chapter two and trust me, it is obvious where that begins! I did think about writing a censored version... but I"ve never done that before, so I figured, why do it now?*****
Were Ren Zexian to chose the moment that he took his innocent lover"s first time, it would have been upon a comfortable bed, perhaps one adorned with silken sheets. The lighting would be subdued and there would be an ambience of sorts. It was not that he was a romantic man, just that he would have liked to ensure Nathan be as relaxed as possible as they came together to share intimate love reflecting that which they already felt inside. This ideal experience would just be two men expressing that affection.
He couldn"t have imagined that his beloved"s virginity would need be lost in order to share yang essence, hopefully strengthening his own reserves in the process so his life might be saved. It seemed calculating and cold. He could only inwardly promise to make it up to him later and protect him during the process. He really worried the poison yin would attempt to spread into Nathan"s body during their joining. He would never forgive himself should this occur.
But before the two men could lie together, there were a few things necessary in preparation. Those physical things, Chang Min had rushed off to obtain. In the meantime, Ren Zexian sought to enlarge Nathan"s straightforward views.
"Dual cultivation, in simple terms," Ren Zexian informed him, with just a hint of blush in his pale cheeks, "is achieved through cultivating while... making love." He hoped that Nathan could understand this term.
As it happened, he had heard of it before; his father had sat him down at the tender age of twelve and had made some attempt at explaining the side of s.e.xual intercourse that was not necessarily about procreation, but about feelings. The older man had used this term as well. "Teacher explained in order to have s.e.xual intercourse," he had told the red-faced man, "that I would have to touch a girl and she would have to touch me. I don"t want to touch one."
"You might change your mind, Nathan," his father had sighed, in truth, he had also wanted to warn of the repercussions of unprotected s.e.x, but he perhaps realised that was definitely a discussion unnecessary for the time being. "You might find that there comes a time when you find a girl that you like and want to do these things with."
In the present time, Nathan had found a person he did not mind touching, but it was not a girl. He shook his head and voiced his thoughts, almost causing Ren Zexian"s heart to break; "We can"t do that, Xian. We are both men." Grasping hold of his last sentence, Ren Zexian quickly realised that Nathan knew nothing about the relations between men.
"Nathan, it is possible for a man to make love to another man," he murmured softly and sure enough, his lover questioned this with open curiosity.
"How?"
"You understand how a man makes love to a woman?" Nathan replied an affirmative. "It is not dissimilar, but men do not have the same... intimate opening as a woman, thus another place is used in subst.i.tute. The entry point is the a.n.u.s."
Nathan blinked. His face was not an overly expressive one, though Ren Zexian easily caught the sparkle in his eyes when he was interested in something, the slight curve of them when he was happy and way he twisted his fingers when sad or distressed. But at that moment, he couldn"t figure out what was going through the younger man"s mind. He worried that he had caused his beloved a fright and attempted to soften the blow of the sudden enlightenment.
"I would do my best to prepare you..." Nathan"s eyes glanced over the other"s distressed expression. He"d always struggled to interpret the projection of emotions coming from other people, which had often caused misunderstandings and harsh words (although he had never understood what exactly he"d done wrong to receive such). However he felt the same towards Ren Zexian, at that moment, as he did towards the plants in his garden, like he could feel the older man"s heart. He suddenly felt the impulse to place a kiss upon Ren Zexian"s dry lips, the whisper of them rea.s.sured the Cultivator immensely.
Still it couldn"t be said that both men"s train"s of thought were upon parallel tracks; there was a gap of understanding that could only be closed through physical exchanges.
Ren Zexian"s lips covered Nathan"s as he gently pushed the man onto the rug beneath them, his head resting on the pillow Chang Min had brought back for him amongst other things and his fingers began to slide beneath the other"s thin t-shirt, increasing their closeness. Nathan shuddered slightly when his sensitive skin was subject to the touches, but he didn"t find them unpleasant. He knew that Ren Zexian would never intentionally do anything to cause him distress and that was further made apparent in the gentleness of his hands.
One man"s robes were loosened that most of his body was revealed while the other found himself bereft of trousers. A hand reached to lower the underwear still covering him, but Nathan was fine with this as his p.e.n.i.s had stiffened due to the exchange of kisses and other sensations. He welcomed Ren Zexian"s a.s.sistance. He wasn"t sure why this was part of the Dual Cultivation; the touching and kissing, but he liked it nonetheless.
With his sensitivity, it was not long before he spilled his essence into Ren Zexian"s hand becoming boneless in the wake of it. So he did not struggle nor resist the man"s next movements, just watched as Ren Zexian coated his fingers in a herbal scented oil before those fingers disappeared into the cleft of his rounded bottom. He instinctively froze, unable to prevent the reaction of his body to the invasion of his a.n.u.s, his mind quickly a.n.a.lysing the sensation as well as the words Ren Zexian had used before.
In order for them to connect in Dual Cultivation, Ren Zexian would have s.e.xual intercourse with him and that in order for two men to do this, one would stick their p.e.n.i.s into the other"s a.n.u.s. At that moment, he had brought up a diagram subsection of a man"s lower body from memory complete with labels and had thought that it did not seem possible that a man"s p.e.n.i.s could fit in the small opening. But he still trusted Ren Zexian"s words, so brushed the matter aside.
However, the circ.u.mference of Ren Zexian"s finger was many times smaller that the circ.u.mference of his p.e.n.i.s and just this small invasion was not comfortable that Nathan became nervous. As if sensing his increasing resistance, the other man whispered softly, hoping to rea.s.sure him and relax him with his words. "Please trust me, Nathan."
Such a simple sentence, but this worked upon the youth, for following these words before, Ren Zexian had opened a new world of intimacy between them that Nathan not only enjoyed but felt a sense of completion through. Perhaps when their bodies were joined he would feel the same?
"It hurts!" Tears openly shed from his eyes and trailed down the side of his face as sometime later his mind completely retracted his earlier thoughts. Ren Zexian had pushed his p.e.n.i.s into his a.n.u.s and there was pain. He tried to push the other off of him, to escape from the discomfort which was definitely unlike scratches from brambles or blisters in his hands from preparing numerous beds for vegetable plantings.
"I know, I"m sorry," Ren Zexian covered him completely, his own body revelling in the tight warmth of the other, using willpower tempered through millennia to not seek fruition within the depths. His heart ached at seeing the results of his own needs, unhappy that this moment was not joyous for his beloved like he had once imagined. "The pain should recede soon, my love. I have wronged you."
Nathan couldn"t help nod in agreement, he did indeed feel wronged! He couldn"t push the man off of him either and was forced to endure, but as Ren Zexian did not do anything else down there, the pain didn"t seem as bad as at first. Kisses softly peppered his face and Nathan closed his eyes to focus on the lips gently pressing against his skin. A thought came to him unbidden. "Will you really leave me if we don"t Dual Cultivate?"
"Leaving you would never be my choice, Nathan," Ren Zexian replied, his voice hoa.r.s.e with emotion. "However, my ability to fight this poison was not as strong as I had thought. I can only rely on this last gift you have presented me with."
"Gift?" Nathan questioned his choice of words, opening his eyes to search the expression of the other, even willing himself to understand it.
"Yes, beloved," Ren Zexian"s eye"s curved softly and his eyes seemed warm like coals lit to create heat. "Just allowing us to connect our bodies is a gift in my heart. However, Dual Cultivation is an even more perfect gift bestowed, for just by agreeing, you have become my Dao Companion; my life partner." Seeing no understanding, he continued; "It is like a marriage, but it is also not. It is so much more, my love. One would only leave there Dao Companion in the event of death and even that may not be an eternal separation."
"Marriage," Nathan smiled, didn"t he once overhear his grandmother"s concerns that he would not be able to do so when he was small? His parents had said that was not an issue and Nathan didn"t get the point of marriage, but wouldn"t his parents still be happy that he had a husband... husbands married wives... so what would that make him. With his thoughts wandering that way and this, he hadn"t noticed the pain was no longer a bother, but Ren Zexian could clearly feel that the other"s hands were no longer pressed against his chest in resistance.
"Nathan," he called out, lowering his forehead to lightly press against his lover"s. "Remember the method of cultivation I taught you. Begin the opening sequence in your mind, I will join you shortly." He could not help him through the initial stages as he had always done in the past, he needed to begin his own cultivation before he could split his concentration between them and ensure the smooth transition into a Dual Cultivation method.
He had worried that the poison yin would attempt to invade Nathan"s body, but it seemed that worry was superfluous; the tainted yin evaded the place where they were connected, instead seeking to attack his body wildly and randomly as if it had awareness and was throwing a tantrum. Ren Zexian didn"t think overly on this point, the water he had drank had given him the energy to keep it from his vital organs for a while longer. Yes, Nathan"s water was truly blessed, giving just what was needed at that point in time, such as the small boost Dexter had needed to breakthrough at that time, giving the plants a little extra resistance against the poison yin, hence practically none of his healthy, established crops mutated. Only sprouts and saplings and plants vulnerable for other reasons were still likely too when it rained, but that was another matter altogether. For Ren Zexian, the water had given him what he needed most; a little more time. Actually, there was more to it, but a.n.a.lysation of it would have to wait, this was not the moment for it.
Nathan didn"t like to initiate cultivation without Ren Zexian, but with the promise of their souls coming together after a short moment, he did as he was bid. In his innersea, petals and leaves dropped from stalks and branches, swirling together with dew and water droplets before streaming towards the light of the central, glowing flower. The particles inherited the glow and danced around through his body in the formation Ren Zexian had taught until he felt as his every cell of his body had become a part of this dance. He hummed in satisfaction and was not startled by the voice which entered his mind;
"Very good, now guide it this way." A whole new path appeared in his mind and he guided the stream of energy towards a hot and frightening h.e.l.l.