"Really?" Zane blurted, lifting his head to look at Ty.
Ty smiled and shrugged one shoulder. "I could never convince myself it was a good idea. I was right. It didn"t stick."
"That"s why I"m surprised," Zane admitted.
"Why?" Ty asked, shifting uncomfortably but meeting Zane"s eyes anyway.
"Because you stuck with me."
Ty pressed his lips together, looking at Zane worriedly for a moment before reaching up and sliding his palm against Zane"s cheek. "I didn"t love her. And I wasn"t the one who ended it," he admitted.
"I"m sorry," Zane whispered, even though deep down he really wasn"t. Ty shook his head. Zane studied him for a long moment. "How long ago was this?"
"Right before Katrina hit," Ty murmured, frowning as he tried to remember how many years ago that had been.
"Five years this summer." Zane said. He paused, swallowing hard before asking, "Do you... does it still hurt?"
Ty laughed before he could stop himself. He clapped his hand over his mouth as if he was trying to hide the reaction, and he shook his head.
Zane pushed up to look down at him, not sure how to interpret that reaction.
"I"m sorry," Ty said hastily, reaching for Zane"s arm to stop him from pulling away. "It"s just your choice of words is...." He laughed again and took Zane"s hand, pulling it to the side of his stomach, just under his ribs, to let Zane"s fingers rest against his skin. "You feel that scar there?" he asked as he placed Zane"s fingers along a faded scar Zane had noticed before.
Zane frowned and nodded, feeling the smooth raised line of scar tissue under his fingertips. It went from the front of Ty"s hip to the back, like he"d been grazed. Then his eyes widened. "She did this?"
"Threw a butcher"s knife at me," Ty told him, voice tinged with an odd mixture of amus.e.m.e.nt and irritation. "Her aim was usually better, so I"m pretty sure she missed on purpose."
"She was pretty set on endingit, then."
Ty shook his head and inhaled deeply as he relaxed back into bed. "It was my fault. She didn"t know I was a Fed," he said with true regret. "By the time I realized I might have real feelings for her, I was stuck. Couldn"t figure out how to tell her and not blow my cover. She didn"t even know my last name. I don"t know what I was thinking, I guess... I just hoped she"d still care for me after the case was over and I could come clean to her. But then, when Katrina was bearing down, they pulled everyone, UC or not, to help with evacuation and prepare for search and rescue. I went to her and told her to leave, that I"d found a transport for her and her family to get out safely. She refused until I promised I"d go with them. But I couldn"t leave. I had to tell her why just to get her on the helicopter."
It was an easy question to ask why she"d been upset, but it wasn"t one Zane needed an answer to. It was difficult when you lived a life undercover, and many people didn"t take kindly to such thorough lies, even for the best of reasons. Ty had given up someone he thought he could love to save her.
"Why didn"t you go back?"
"Well... I was sort of afraid she"d try again with a knife that was easier to throw," Ty answered, laughing. He bit his lip, looking up at Zane with eyes that shined even in the dim light."No. The hurricane hit. The city just got... wiped off the map, pretty much. For days we did nothing but survive. Pull people out of the water, kids and animals and old people. Me and everyone else down there cried ourselves to sleep whenever we got the chance. All I could do was make sure they were all okay, everyone I"d known, you know, undercover. But every UC in New Orleans that got blown had to be transferred after the search and rescue became body recovery and they started getting people out. They didn"t give us a chance to linger. That"s how I ended up in Baltimore. I never saw her again after that night."
Zane didn"t understand. If Ty had really cared for her, or even thought he might have loved her, how had he given her up so easily?
Ty shifted and looked at Zane with a sigh. "You look... disturbed. You"re wondering why I didn"t try harder to get her back, right?" Ty nodded, as if answering his own question. "I cared about her, I did. But after a week or two I realized that she wasn"t the first thing I thought of when I woke up. And when something would happen during the day, she wasn"t the first person I thought I needed to tell it to." He looked at Zane and smiled. "Not like you. I wasn"t in love with her. She deserved someone who was."
Zane considered what to say. He wasn"t going to give Ty plat.i.tudes; they"d be dismissed anyway. "I"m sorry you had to go through that. But I"m not sorry it happened. I wouldn"t have you otherwise."
Ty pulled him closer. "Funny how life works, huh?"
"Yeah," Zane said as he eased into Ty"s arms. They"d both lost a lot along the way. He needed to remember that.
The warmth of Ty"s body next to Zane"s and his easy breathing were both calming and familiar, and Zane found himself sinking into him.
"You okay with all that?" Ty finally asked.
"It"s your past. Can"t be changed any more than mine can. I"m fine with it. Unless we vacation there for Mardi Gras, then I might be on the lookout. I was there once with Becky. We loved it."
"If I ever go back I"ll have to do it locked and loaded," Ty said. "I left too many p.i.s.sed off loose ends down there, including one Cajun daddy who really liked voodoo."
Zane barked a laugh before he could stop himself. He knew how superst.i.tious Ty was, and something about him being afraid of the voodoo-wielding father of a former flame was intensely amusing.
Ty rolled to his side to face Zane. He reached up to touch Zane"s chin with his fingertips. "We still have a lot to learn about each other."
Zane figured that was a h.e.l.l of an understatement. He smiled as Ty"s lips brushed his. "That"s not a bad thing."
"No." Ty grinned against Zane"s lips. "I"m sort of looking forward to it."
Zane closed his eyes, the warmth of contentment stealing over him as they wrapped around each other and settled down to try to sleep. "Should we set an alarm?" Zane asked after a quiet minute. Ty"s breathing had settled into a rhythm, low and even; Zane thought he might even have dropped off to sleep.
But Ty shook his head in immediate answer. He patted his chest before sliding his hand back over Zane"s. "Alarm"s built-in."
Zane smiled as he buried his face against Ty"s chest. He drifted off to sleep, the warmth of Ty"s body and the fading smell of sandalwood filling him with a sense of tranquility he had rarely experienced.
Zane estimated that it was several hours later, still well before dawn, when he awoke to the mattress dipping and Ty getting out of bed.
He had to move carefully in the dark as he rummaged for his clothing and got dressed. It was painfully obvious that he was trying to be silent, trying not to wake Zane. Zane lay listening, almost dozing. Ty sat at the table in the corner and pulled on his boots, and when he stood, he bent over the table for a moment, writing a note.
"f.u.c.k, Ty, not again," Zane muttered.
Ty jumped and turned to look at him. "Jacka.s.s," he hissed. "You scared me."
"What are you doing?" Zane asked as he pushed up onto one elbow.
"Have you ever seen the battlefield in the moonlight?"
Zane shook his head.
"Come with me."
Zane blinked at him, a smile forming as he nodded. "Let me get dressed."
C AMERONdidn"t even get a chance to gasp for breath. He grabbed for the arms surrounding him and slapped a hand over the fingers that covered his mouth, trying to wake up as he felt himself being yanked up from the pillow.
"You"re okay, love," Julian"s soft voice a.s.sured him as he pulled him out of bed. There was an undercurrent of something else in his tone, though, something frightened and urgent. "Stay quiet."
Cameron nodded and drew a shaky breath when Julian moved his hand away from his mouth. He got his feet under him as Julian released him a moment later, but Cameron had no intention of moving an inch away. Something had spooked Julian, and that was never a good thing.
Julian was tense and silent, his dark eyes riveted on the door to the room and his ear c.o.c.ked toward the wall that separated their room from Ty and Zane"s. They could easily hear through the walls; they"d found that out earlier.
Julian had no weapon on him. If there was a threat now, they"d be facing it unarmed. "Get your shoes on," Julian whispered. "Don"t make a sound."
Stepping away from the safety of his lover"s hulking presence was more difficult than Cameron imagined it would be. He shoved his feet into his running shoes and crouched to tie them. Pulling the laces tight, he glanced up at Julian, trying to get a feel for the situation.
Julian stood stock-still, barely even breathing as he stared hard at the door. He wasn"t looking directly at it, more to the side of it, as if trying to see it out of the corner of his eye. The soft sound of voices filtered through the thick walls, and Julian moved suddenly, whipping his head to the right to look around the room. Cameron stepped back as Julian practically pounced on the desk several feet away, picking up the desk lamp and yanking the power cord out of the base. He reached into the lampshade and unscrewed the lightbulb, then pulled the cord out of the wall. Looking from Julian to the door and back, Cameron scooted out of the way, putting Julian and the heavy wooden armoire of electronics between himself and the door.
"Cam," Julian hissed, barely audible in the darkness. "Fix the pillows on the bed, make it look like someone sleeping. Quickly."
Cameron rushed the three steps to the bed, grabbing some of the pillows they"d tossed onto the floor and making columns on the bed. He pulled the comforter up and was hurriedly shoving it down between the pillows when he heard a voice outside the door. He didn"t even think; one of the first things Julian had taught him was to hide. Cameron turned, took one step to the side, and crouched down behind the solid armchair and ottoman to the left side of the bed, curling his frame up behind it so he was out of sight. He hoped.
"The other room was empty."
"They"ve got to be here somewhere."
There was more that Cameron couldn"t make out. A moment later, the door to the bedroom splintered at the k.n.o.b. There was another bang, and Cameron squeezed into a tighter ball as the door flew open. A shaft of light from the hallway fell upon the bed, and he saw the shadow of a man with a gun in his hand cast against the wall above the headboard not four feet away from him. The man didn"t fire, though.
"s.h.i.t," he heard the attacker say, obviously realizing the ruse.
Another heartbeat later, Cameron heard the struggle start, and he knew that Julian had attacked the man. Cameron pried open his eyes and peered around the back of the chair.
Julian"s back was to the wall beside the door. He had the cord of the lamp wrapped around the stranger"s neck, twisting it from behind as the man struggled against him. Another man came through the doorway, gun drawn, and Julian reached out with one hand and slammed the lightbulb into the second man"s face as he stepped through the doorway. He gave a bloodcurdling scream as he fell back out of the room, and Julian kicked the door shut as he tightened the cord around the first gunman"s neck.
Cameron knew he was probably best off where he was, but he shifted to a crouch rather than staying on his knees so when Julian called he"d be ready to go.
The stranger sank to his knees, gasping for breath in the darkness as Julian held the ends of the cord tight. Cameron was grateful he couldn"t see the dying man"s face. The body fell to the ground with a thud, but Julian continued to kneel over him, pulling the cord tight. Shots punched through the thick door over his head, and Julian flinched and covered his head, rolling away from the door.
"Cam, stay down!" he called in a harsh whisper.
More noises came from outside, shouts and breaking gla.s.s, bangs and more shouting, and Cameron covered his head instinctively. Gunfire roared, two, three, maybe four shots. Then all was silent for a long moment.
"Two men down." The voice was sharp, clipped, and familiar, close to the door. Then,louder, "Cross? Are you in there?" Cameron let out his breath. That was Zane.
Julian didn"t answer. Cameron could hear him breathing hard, somewhere in the darkness near the door. "Cross? Cameron?" Zane tried again, his voice still flat. Cameron bit his lip. Julian would have said something if he wanted to, so Cameron kept his mouth shut. Then he heard the busted door swing open and he glanced around the chair back.
As soon as the agent"s shadow entered the doorway, Julian moved. He wrapped an arm around Zane"s neck, holding the broken bit of lightbulb to his throat as he used Zane"s body to shield him from whoever else was outside.
A second later, the light flipped on and Ty moved into the room with his gun drawn, eyes on Julian and Zane.
"I"m not fighting you, Cross," Zane said, keeping both hands down and out to his sides.
"Let him go, MacGuffin, we just saved your a.s.s," Ty told him, the gun not wavering.
"No one could possibly know we were here. No one but your men. Check their badges," Julian ordered. He didn"t let up on the pressure he was exerting on Zane"s neck.
Ty held up his hand to calm Julian and bent down, rummaging through the dead man"s pockets as he kept his eyes and gun on Julian. Cameron shifted behind the chair, staying down for now.
A moment later Ty pulled a badge and held it up, looking at it in shock as he flipped it open. It read FBI in big blue letters.
"See!" Julian shouted. "They"re your people!"
"They"re not our people," Zane said. "Let up, Cross. We both know I could have shot you twice before you had me."
"But you didn"t, your fault," Julian said. "Grady, the gun."
"Go f.u.c.k yourself," Ty said as he continued to pat the dead man"s pockets. He pulled out a clear spiral cord from behind the man"s ear and whistled as he held it up. "These aren"t Bureau issue."
Julian relaxed his grip on Zane as he looked at the earpiece. Cameron stood, wondering if he"d ever seen a man so close to Julian"s size next to him. From the back, or maybe the side, he just might mistake Zane Garrett for Julian, and that was still disconcerting even after all this time with him.
"We knew there was something more to this," Zane reminded them, his back still against Julian"s chest, though he didn"t seem particularly fazed by the b.l.o.o.d.y broken gla.s.s at his throat. "I think it might be a little more important to be leaving right now."
"Agreed," Julian said instantly. He dropped the lightbulb and turned to look back for Cameron.
"How"d they find us? That"s so f.u.c.king random," Ty asked as he stood. He sounded p.i.s.sed.
As Zane and Ty kept talking, Cameron tuned them out. He"d be along for the ride regardless of his input. His eyes strayed from Julian, over to the mess of the bed, across the littered floor between them, to the crumpled body of a dead man with a lamp cord wrapped around his throat. Cameron let out a shaky breath. He knew that life with Julian was like this sometimes, but that didn"t mean it was easy to handle or understand.
Julian moved toward him and hugged him fiercely, seeming to sense that was what he needed. And it was, to be held close and comforted. Cameron sighed and tipped his head back to find Julian"s eyes. "Are you okay?"
Julian nodded. "You?"
"Yes." Cameron did not look down at the body nearby but instead toward the two men searching the other bodies, words flying rapid-fire between them. He hadn"t been paying attention to know if Ty and Zane were working or insulting each other. For all he knew, it could be the same thing with them. "It"s not safe here."
"No," Julian agreed as he looked back at the two agents. He squeezed Cameron"s arm. "Get dressed, Cameron, okay? We"re leaving as soon as these two idiots figure this out."
Cameron nodded. He wanted to ask questions, but the set of Julian"s shoulders told him that now was not the time.
T Y GROWLED as they stripped the dead bodies of all the weaponry they could find. He didn"t like being in the dark, and he felt decidedly shadowed right now.
"Whoever they are, they"ve got top-notch gear," Zane said as he pulled a backup gun off one of the fallen agents.
Ty nodded unhappily. "Yeah, like their tricked-out f.u.c.king CIA spy cars. What could they possibly have tracked? We"ve tossed everything we have."
Julian stepped toward them, holding a gun he"d taken from one of the men before Ty or Zane could get to it. "We"re leaving," he announced. He held up the gun. "With or without you."
Cameron stopped behind Julian, their smallest bag over his shoulder.
"Simmer down, Cross, all right?" Ty muttered as he picked up the dead man"s fake badge again. He stared at it, the FBI logo emblazoning itself into his mind. "Ah, s.h.i.t," he hissed as he stood up.
"What?" Zane asked as he stood as well. He checked the ammunition in the gun in his hand and snapped the cartridge back in place before looking at Ty.
"It"s me."
"What?"
"It"s me, they"ve been tracking me," Ty said as he pulled at the nylon strap of his wrist.w.a.tch.
"What? How?" Julian demanded as he stepped forward.
Ty held up the watch. It was a Citizen Promaster Eco-drive dive watch with a black nylon band and a chrome and matte black face. He wore it everywhere he went, never even taking it off to sleep or shower. Richard Burns had given it to him when he"d graduated from the Academy.
Julian shrugged impatiently as he looked at it.
"It has a tracking device in it."