Cutlass and Cudgel

Chapter 2

"Cow, sir, overboard."

"Quite right. Milk and water," came in m.u.f.fled tones.

"Beg pardon, sir, what shall I do?"

"Go and milk her, and don"t bother me."

"But she"s swimming under the cliff, sir."

"Go and ask her on board, then. Be off!"

Archy Raystoke knew his commanding officer"s ways, and after waiting a few moments, he said softly, after giving a tap or two on the panel--

"Shall I take the boat and get her aboard?"

There was a loud rustle; a bang as if some one had struck the bulkhead with his elbow, and then a voice roared--

"Look here, sir, if you don"t be off and let me finish my sleep, I"ll let go at you through the door. You"re in charge of the deck. Go and do what"s right, and don"t bother me."

_Bang_!

Another blow on the bulkhead, and rustling noise, and, as well as if he had seen it all, Archy knew that his officer had snuggled down under the clothes, and gone to sleep.

But he had the permission, and calling to a couple of the crew, he soon had the small boat in the water, with d.i.c.k and another man pulling towards where the cow was slowly swimming here and there, with its wet nose and two horns a very short distance above the surface.

"Now, then, d.i.c.k, is it a sea-cow?" cried Archy, as they drew nearer.

"Well, sir, what else can it be?"

"Ah, you obstinate!" cried the lad. "Now, then, what are we going to do? We can"t land her," he continued, looking up at the towering cliff, "and, of course, we can"t take her in the boat."

"I"ll soon manage that," said d.i.c.k, leaving his rowing to take up a coil of rope he had thrown into the boat, and make a running noose.

"Yes, but--"

"It"s all right, sir. Get this over her horns, and we can tow her alongside, and hyste her on deck in no time."

The cow proved that she was accustomed to man, for, as the boat approached, she swam slowly to meet it, raising her nose a little to utter a loud bellow, as if glad to welcome the help. So quiet and gentle was the poor creature, that there was no difficulty in pa.s.sing the noose over her horns, making the line fast to a ring-bolt, so as to keep her head well above the surface, and then d.i.c.k resumed his oar; and after a glance round to make sure that there was no place where the poor beast could be landed, Archie gave the order for them to row back to where the cutter lay in the bright sunshine, five hundred yards from the sh.o.r.e.

He looked in vain, for at the lowest part the green edge of the cliff was a couple of hundred feet above the level of the sea, and right and left of him the mighty walls of rock rose up, four, five, and even six hundred feet, and for the most part with a sheer descent to the water which washed their feet.

The cow took to her journey very kindly, helping the progress by swimming till they were alongside the cutter, where the men on deck were looking over the low side, and grinning with amus.e.m.e.nt.

"Pull her horns off, sir!" said d.i.c.k, in answer to a question, as he proceeded to pa.s.s the rope through a block, "not it."

"But hadn"t we better have a line round her?"

"If you want to cut her "most in two, sir. We"ll soon have her on board."

d.i.c.k was as good as his word, for the task was easy with a vessel so low in the water as the cutter; and in a few minutes the unfortunate cow was standing dripping on deck.

CHAPTER TWO.

"Can any one of you men milk?" said Lieutenant Brough, a little plump-looking man, of about five and thirty, as he stood in naval uniform staring at the new addition to His Majesty"s cutter _White Hawk_, a well-fed dun cow, which stood steadily swinging her long tail to and fro, where she was tethered to the bulwarks, after vainly trying to make a meal off the well holystoned deck.

There was no reply, the men grinning one at the other, on hearing so novel a question. "Do you men mean to say that not one amongst you can milk?" cried the lieutenant.

No one had spoken; but now, in a half-shrinking foolish way, d.i.c.k pulled his forelock, and made a kick out behind.

"You can?" cried the lieutenant, "that"s right; get a bucket and milk her. I"ll have some for breakfast."

"Didn"t say as I could milk, sir," said d.i.c.k. "Seen "em milk, though, down in Linkyshire, and know how it"s done."

"Then, of course, you can do it," said the lieutenant shortly; "look sharp!"

The men grinned, and Dirty d.i.c.k by no means looked sharp, but exceedingly blunt and foolish as he shuffled along the deck, provided himself with a bucket, and then approached the cow, which had suddenly began chewing the cud.

"Look at her, mate," said one of the sailors.

"What for?" said the man addressed.

"Some one"s been giving her a quid o" bacca."

"Go on."

"But some one has. Look at her chewing."

"Why, so she is!" said the sailor, scratching his head, as he watched the regular actions of the cow"s jaw, as she stood blinking her eyes, and swinging her tail to and fro, apparently quite content; the more so, that the sun was shining upon her warmly, and the sea water rapidly quitting her skin for the deck, where it made a rivulet into one of the scuppers.

Jack the sailor is easily pleased, for the simple reason that anything is a relief from the tedium of life on ship-board; consequently the coming of the cow was like a half-holiday to them at the wrong end of the day, and they stood about nudging each other, as Dirty d.i.c.k trotted up with his bucket, Archy looking on as much amused as the men.

The cow blinked her eyes, and turned her head to smell at the bucket which d.i.c.k set down on the deck, and stood scratching his head.

"Well, sir, go on," said the lieutenant--"Seems to me, now, Mr Raystoke, that we ought to have cream and fresh b.u.t.ter. Capital prize you"ve taken.--Do you hear, sir? Go on."

"Yes, sir. Beg pardon, sir, but you see I wants something to sit on.

"Nother bucket."

"You, sir, fetch another bucket," said the lieutenant sharply; and another was brought, turned upside down, and, taking the first bucket, amidst the t.i.tterings of the men, d.i.c.k seated himself, leaned his head against the cow"s side, placed the vessel between his legs, and began to operate in true dairyman style upon the cow.

_Whack_! _Bang_! _Clatter_!

There was a tremendous roar of laughter from every one on board except from Dirty d.i.c.k, who was down on his back a couple of yards away, staring at the cow as if wondering how she could have gone off as she did. For the quiet-looking, inoffensive beast was standing perfectly still again, blinking her eyes and chewing her cud, but writhing and twisting her tail about as if it were an eel, after, at d.i.c.k"s first touch, raising one of her hind legs and sending the pail flying across the deck and the would-be milker backwards.

"Come, come," said the lieutenant, wiping his eyes and trying to look very important and stern, "that"s not the right way, my man. Try again."

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