PHA. Then speak you, sir. "Who would have done it better?"
ASO. How! does it begin at me?
PHA. Yes, sir: this play is called the Crab, it goes backward.
ASO. May I not name myself?
PHI. If you please, sir, and dare abide the venture of it.
ASO. Then I would have done it better, whatever it is.
PHA. No doubt on"t, sir: a good confidence. "What followed upon the act," Philautia?
PHI. A few heat drops, and a month"s mirth.
PHA. "For what cause," Amorphus?
AMO. For the delight of ladies.
PHA. "When," Argurion?
ARG. Last progress.
PHA. "Where," Anaides?
ANA. Why, in a pair of pain"d slops.
PHA. "With what," Moria?
MOR. With a glyster.
PHA. "Who," Hedon?
HED. A traveller.
PHA. Then the thing done was, "An oration was made." Rehea.r.s.e.
An oration was made--
HED. By a traveller--
MOR. With a glyster--
ANA. In a pair of pain"d slops--
ARG. Last progress--
AMO. For the delight of ladies--
PHI. A few heat drops, and a month"s mirth followed.
PHA. And, this silent gentleman would have done it better.
ASO. This was not so good, now.
PHI. In good faith, these unhappy pages would be whipp"d for staying thus.
MOR. Beshrew my hand and my heart else.
AMO. I do wonder at their protraction.
ANA. Pray Venus my wh.o.r.e have not discover"d herself to the rascally boys, and that be the cause of their stay.
ASO. I must suit myself with another page: this idle Prosaites will never be brought to wait well.
MOR. Sir, I have a kinsman I could willingly wish to your service, if you will deign to accept of him.
ASO. And I shall be glad, most sweet lady, to embrace him: Where is he?
MOR. I can fetch him, sir, but I would be loth to make you turn away your other page.
ASO. You shall not most sufficient lady; I will keep both: pray you let"s go see him.
ARG. Whither goes my love?
ASO. I"ll return presently, I go but to see a page with this lady.
[EXEUNT ASOTUS AND MORIA.]
ANA. As sure as fate, "tis so: she has opened all: a pox of all c.o.c.katrices! D--n me, if she have play"d loose with me, I"ll cut her throat within a hair"s breadth, so it may be heal"d again.
MER. What, is he jealous of his hermaphrodite?
CUP. O, ay, this will be excellent sport.
PHI. Phantaste, Argurion! what, you are suddenly struck, methinks!
For love"s sake let"s have some music till they come: Ambition, reach the lyra, I pray you.
HED. Anything to which my Honour shall direct me.
PHI. Come Amorphus, cheer up Phantaste.
AMO. It shall be my pride, fair lady, to attempt all that is in my power. But here is an instrument that alone is able to infuse soul into the most melancholic and dull-disposed creature upon earth.
O, let me kiss thy fair knees. Beauteous ears attend it.
HED. Will you have "the Kiss" Honour?
PHI. Ay, good Ambition.