After waiting, in uneasy suspense, a little time, the door opened and a gentleman entered. The heavy curtains of the windows and the thick blinds caused only a "dim, religious light" to pervade the apartment, preventing the lady from seeing distinctly the features of her visitor.
He approached her with well-bred politeness, and, in a low tone of voice, began a conversation with her about the beautiful weather New York was then enjoying. She listened for a brief moment, and then, with a cry of astonishment, recognized her husband"s voice. He, equally confused, discovered that he had accidentally met in a house of ill-fame the wife whom he had sworn to love and honor, but whom he had condemned to languish at home while he enjoyed himself abroad. This remarkable rencontre had a happy termination, for, after a little legal sparring, it ended in the reconciliation of husband and wife, who mutually admitted that they were both to blame.
CHAPTER XV.
QUACKS AND QUACKERY.
_Specimen Advertis.e.m.e.nts--The Bait Held Out, and the Fish who are Expected to Bite._
The vile practices, the monstrous impudence, the cruel rapacity and enormous gains of the obscene tribe of quacks, together with the mischief they do, and the ruin they work, would require much more s.p.a.ce to adequately ventilate than we can devote to it here. The healing art is a n.o.ble one, and duly qualified men, interested in their profession, are public benefactors; but the despicable race of charlatans not only rob their victims, but frequently ruin their health, and drive them to the verge of insanity. There is probably hardly a reader of this page who has not met, within the circle of his or her acquaintance, some unfortunate individual whose hopes in life have been wholly or partially blighted by the adroitly-worded insinuations of those advertising quacks. We all know that "fools are the game that knaves pursue," and no well-informed member of the community needs to be informed that the victims captured by quack advertis.e.m.e.nts are not among the wiser portion of the community. Many of them, however, lie open to be allured into the quack"s net, not by mere congenital and absolute folly, but because of the inexperience of youth or lack of knowledge of the world, or perhaps in some cases from a natural deficiency in the faculty of deciphering characteristic expression. There are some who fail to recognize a quack advertis.e.m.e.nt when it meets their eye, from a defect in perception similar to that which incapacitates certain persons from distinguishing a pocket-book dropper, or a bunco steerer, or a billiard sharp, or a sporting "gent."
Of course, there are degrees and varieties of quacks, as well as in the character of their announcements. The street-vender of a "magic pain-reliever," who, by dint of talk and manipulation, convinces some credulous sufferer that his rheumatism is banished, is a quack. So are those who advertise such preparations as sarsaparilla, blood-mixtures, and a variety of pills, potions and lozenges too numerous to mention. So also are those marvelous discoverers of "hair restorers," "removers of freckles," and so on. Most of these do little harm beyond lightening the purses of the purchasers, and in some cases the administration of an inert substance, by exciting the victim"s imagination, produces a cure.
But the great injury, so far as these innoxious preparations are concerned, lies in the fact that they prevent the sufferer from seeking proper professional treatment. Still this cla.s.s of quacks is rather to be reckoned among swindlers who obtain money under false pretences, than among the _bona fide_ medical quacks that we have in view. The great aim of this pernicious cla.s.s is to get people in fair, ordinary health to consult them by means of newspaper advertis.e.m.e.nts, almanacs, pamphlets and circulars filled with details of the character and symptoms of various diseases, scattered broadcast through the land. We will not contaminate our pages in giving samples _in extenso_ of this prurient and abominable literature, but a few of the typical advertis.e.m.e.nts to be met in even respectable newspapers, can hardly be omitted if the exposure is to be thorough:
*MEN ONLY*. A quick, Permanent Cure for Lost Manhood, Disability, Nervousness and Weakness. No Quackery.
*TO WEAK MEN,*
Suffering from nervous debility, weakness of body and mind, loss of memory, mental and physical exhaustion. On receipt of stamp we will send you a valuable treatise upon the above diseases, also directions for home-cure. Address * * * * * *
*ANY PART OF THE BODY*
when deprived of growth, weak and undeveloped, lacking in proper size, form and vigor, may be enlarged, developed and strengthened by simple scientific self-treatment. We will prove this free to any honest person.
Write for sealed circulars, description, references.
NERVOUS DEBILITATED MEN.
You are allowed a free trial of thirty days of the use of -------"s Celebrated Voltaic Belt with Electric Suspensory Appliances, for the speedy relief and permanent cure of nervous debility, loss of vitality and manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also for many other diseases.
Complete restoration to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. No risk is incurred. Ill.u.s.trated pamphlet in sealed envelope mailed free by addressing Voltaic Belt Co.
NERVOUS DEBILITY, weakness of body and mind, loss of memory, nervous and physical exhaustion permanently and quickly cured. I will send you a valuable treatise upon the above diseases, also directions for home-cure, free of charge.
Address * * * * * *
*WEAK MEN*
Can be promptly and lastingly cured, secretly and without nauseous drugging, by the FRENCH HOSPITAL TREATMENT.
Board of six regular physicians. Consultation free. Full restoration to vigor and strength, however lost.
The list of lewd and brazen manifestoes might be indefinitely extended, but as they all bear the same disgusting ear-marks, the foregoing must suffice. As for the pamphlets sent through the mails in "sealed envelopes" by these harpies, the following t.i.tles will sufficiently indicate their character: "The Friend in Need;" "A Medical Work on Marriage;" "The Tonic Elixir;" "The Silent Friend;" "Manhood;" "A Cure for All;" "The Self Cure of Nervous Debility;" "The Self-adjusting Curative;" "New Medical Guide;" "Debility, its Cause and Cure;" "A Warning Voice;" "Second Life," and scores of others of a similar stamp.
This disgusting literature corrupts and pollutes the mind and morals of a large cla.s.s of people who have not the courage to disbelieve its monstrous exaggerations, or the good sense to despise its revolting indecencies. Nor is this strange, when we reflect that the reading of even a standard medical work has a tendency to excite belief in the reader that he is afflicted with the malady whose grim description he is perusing. His apprehension being alarmed and his imagination excited, he has no difficulty in detecting all or a great many of the symptoms in himself, although at the same time none of them may exist. The quack, in his advertis.e.m.e.nts and publications, frequently warns the reader against quacks and quackery, as, for instance, take the following cheeky extract:
"The object in writing these pages is to teach the public at large to discriminate between the legitimate, duly-qualified pract.i.tioner and the legion of charlatans who infest every important city and town of the United States, and particularly New York. That this is a subject of the gravest importance cannot for a moment be doubted when it is considered that, dating from our entrance into the world, "from the cradle to the grave," we too often require the valuable services of the accoucheur, doctor, surgeon, or physician, in consequence of departing from Nature"s laws, increased state of civilization, and overtaxed condition of the mental and bodily systems, necessitating from time to time the knowledge and attendance of the medical man. Under these circ.u.mstances it behooves each individual to be placed on his guard, so as to be made cognizant of the means to detect the nefarious, unqualified, and dishonest charlatans, in order to save the one in search of health from falling in their meshes, and thus jeopardize the welfare of his nearest and dearest objects. The laws of the country, public opinion, and private information, have and are doing much to save the reputations of those who have made choice of the medical profession, thereby exposing themselves to be placed on a level with some with whose names we will not soil our pages, _nor indirectly offer the advantages of publicity_, for it has well been remarked that to be mentioned with disparagement is to these preferable to not being mentioned at all, and thus it very often happens that the veil to hide a motive is so flimsy that even the uninitiated are unable to catch a glimpse at the mystery within."
Here are the strains of another disinterested Mentor in the same field, who once had an office on West Twenty-second street in New York City:
"Country patients are informed that they can have the necessary remedies sent to any address, or directed to be left at an Express Office _till called for_, in a portable compa.s.s. The medicines are carefully packed, _and free from observation_; and may be taken without confinement or any restraint. Patients should be as _minute_ as possible in the details of their symptoms, age, general habits of living and occupation in life.
_The Communication must be accompanied by the usual_ CONSULTATION FEE OF FIVE DOLLARS, which may be sent in bank note, or by Post-office order, without which no notice can be taken of the application.
In all cases _secrecy is to be considered as inviolable_, all letters being, if requested, either returned to the writers, or destroyed.
"Dr.---- begs to impress upon patients the importance of ONE personal interview, even when resident at a distance. The advantages are manifold, when compared with mere correspondence. A single visit will, in most cases, enable Dr.---- to form an instantaneous and accurate judgment, _and thus expedite the patient"s recovery_. In the first place, many important questions affecting the patient are likely to be suggested by a personal interview, which might be lost sight of in correspondence. Secondly, more correct diagnosis of the disorder and a better appreciation of the patient"s const.i.tution can be arrived at, _whilst a microscopic examination of the urine, where necessary, will render any mistake impossible_, especially in cases of Spermatorrha.
And thirdly, where the patient is laboring under urethral discharges, which may or may not be produced by impure connection, one personal visit with a view to a urinary examination is eminently advantageous. In a word, the correspondent will be more than repaid for the trouble and expense of his journey by the increased rapidity of the cure.
"Such patients, although they may be reaping the rewards of their own folly, are, nevertheless, the very ones who have special need of correct counsel, and are, for the most part, in just the frame of mind to appreciate advice fitly rendered by a judicious medical man. In my experience, it has always appeared strange to me why the treatment of this affection should remain abandoned by respectable members of the profession to the benefit of quacks and those vile harpies who play on this cla.s.s of victims.
"Medical men are too apt treat the complaints of such patients lightly, making no effort to allay their anxiety--a course which often leads them to apply for aid in illegitimate quarters, and to become the victims of unprincipled men."
In some instances it is a clergyman who is the reputed advertiser, who, as in the following unabridged "Ad," widely circulated in the country papers, wishes to communicate to suffering humanity "the recipe that will cure you free of charge":
*A Card.*
To all who an suffering from the errors and indiscretions of youth, nervous weakness, early decay, loss of manhood, etc., I will lend a recipe that will cure you, FREE OF CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered by a missionary in South America. Send a self-addressed envelope to the Rev. * * * * Station D, New York City.
Then there are the "Retired Philanthropic Physicians," and the "Patients Who have been Cured," _et hoc genus omne_, who, with such rare disinterestedness, incur large weekly expenses in advertising their willingness to forward to sufferers the means of self-cure "on receipt of two postage stamps." In a word, one and all of these pirates have only one common aim and aspiration--to fleece the fools who are credulous enough to seek their aid.
The main point to attain in this business is to decoy the victim to the advertiser"s den or office. Once there, he is impressed with the multifarious engagements of the human decoy-spider who is probably appraising his prey through a peep-hole. By and by, the patient"s anxiety is dissipated by the appearance of the pretended Medicus, and he proceeds to give all the painful details of his case, while the listener, by looks and words, does everything to increase his alarm. The history finished, questions will be asked him as to his avocations, position and income, all apparently with the view of elucidating the points of his case, but in fact for the purpose of estimating the "size of his pile," with the object of ascertaining to what extent he can be "bled." This essential information obtained, the quack at once sets his moral rack to work. Everything will be said not only to confirm the patient"s fears, but to increase them. A pretended examination of urine will be made, and he will be gravely told that the quack"s worst fears are confirmed, ocular demonstration being offered the dupe. The effect of this ordeal may be imagined. The unfortunate victim believes that he has received "confirmation, strong as proof of holy writ," of his dangerous condition. Glibly the quack discourses on the consequences of neglecting the terrible symptoms, and the great difficulty of combating them. He is told that he will be liable to spinal disease, softening of the brain, or insanity. Sometimes a collection of plates, containing hideous representations of dreadful eruption, and sores covering all parts of the body, are submitted to the patient"s horrified inspection.
Frightened by the hideous pictures before him, and at the same time soothed and charmed by the high-flown encomiums which the quack p.r.o.nounces on his particular "non-mercurial mode of treatment," the patient becomes anxious to submit himself to the process. The quack is equally ready to take the case in hand, and the only stumbling-block likely to be in the way, may be the patients" inability to pay the large fee demanded. When the victim, however, is manifestly pecunious, the remedy employed in the treatment is correspondingly expensive. In some cases "a preparation of gold" has been used, and the patient has been instructed that it would be absolutely necessary for him to remain in bed for the six weeks during which he would have to take the remedies, and that he must have a nurse to sit up with him at night, in order to wake him and give him the medicines regularly!
We presume no intelligent person need be told that the pretensions as to the "golden" and other "secret and valuable medicines" which these quacks boast themselves to possess, are absolutely without foundation.
They no more possess such remedies than they possess any legitimate right to the names and medical t.i.tles which they too frequently a.s.sume.
In cases of indiscretion, the quack treatment is always with mercury--notwithstanding denials. Sometimes serious mercurial poisoning results, and not unfrequently, through the charlatan"s ignorance of proper treatment in complicated diseases, irreparable injury ensues.
The quack advertis.e.m.e.nts and pamphlets are the source of incalculable evils to youths between the ages of seventeen and thirty. They are impelled by fear to visit the quack"s den, where they are "played" as long as practicable. Sometimes exciting drugs, like cantharides, are given in the medicine, and thus intensify the evil. The quack, of course, ascribes the result to the patient"s alarming condition, who is growing worse, in spite of his medicines, and who can only be cured by more powerful and costly drugs. Sometimes a seemingly candid but equally misleading offer of "no cure no pay" is offered. In this case the patient is usually required to sign a statement of his condition, in which his symptoms and his previous bad habits are fully set forth. It is stipulated that the "doctor" is to be paid a certain round sum when a cure is effected, and while the case is under treatment the patient pays for the medicines. If no pay is asked for the "stuff," the quack is seldom or ever a loser. Such a doc.u.ment few persons, with characters to lose, would care to run the risk of publishing, and hence they generally acknowledge themselves cured, or pay the doctor handsomely to redeem the doc.u.ment.
While wading through this dark mora.s.s of deception and fraud, the "anatomical museums" must not be overlooked. These Priapean establishments, in which is an exhibition of wax models of different organs and parts of the human body, are too vile for description.
"Lectures" are delivered with the design of furnishing patients to the quack pract.i.tioners in whose interest the place is run. Thousands--we might have said millions--of copies of disgusting little books on "Marriage," or the "Philosophy of Marriage," or some cognate obscenity are distributed gratis, and it is no unusual sight to see a score of nervous, hollow-eyed patients waiting for treatment.
We have endeavored to speak plainly and to the point in dealing with quacks and quackery, because it is a topic of sovereign importance and urgency. Hundreds upon hundreds of our population are plundered and poisoned by these medical pests of society, and if we have not made it plain that it is dangerous to have anything to do with the advertising doctors of New York or any other place, we have failed in our purpose.
Their advertis.e.m.e.nts, their pamphlets, and their rascally little books, penetrate the remotest corners of the land. Curiosity leads the farmer"s son or the apprentice to send for some advertised book to satisfy a craving for information, or to pander to an already diseased imagination, and the bad seed is sown. He is surprised, startled, and finally alarmed; and he writes. He is told in the reply that "I seek my remedies in far-off climes; some in the distant prairie, some in the ever-blooming balsam; in the southern climes, where eternal summer reigns, and on the top of the snow-clad Himalayas." Accompanying the reply is a recipe calling for articles having no existence, or for decoctions from plants unknown to botanists. But in whatever form the response comes, the result is uniform. Plunder, always plunder, in the first place; sometimes this is supplemented by murder; whole families are destroyed, insanity is engendered, and the victims of these vile knaves are driven headlong to destruction and an early grave.
It has always been the dearest wish of a quack doctor to possess a diploma of some sort, no matter where or how dishonestly procured.
Sometimes it was forged; sometimes second-hand; but however or wherever procured it was framed and conspicuously displayed in the "consulting"