"When a man has married, and had children, he has fulfilled his duty to the State. That"s all marriage is--duty to the State. After that he follows his normal instincts, of course."
"If you are defending unfaithfulness?"
"Not at all. I admire faithfulness. It"s rare enough for admiration.
No. I"m recognizing facts. Don"t you suppose even dear old Clay likes a pretty woman? Of course he does. It"s a total difference of view-point, Natalie. What is an incident to a man is a crime to a woman."
Or:
"All this economic freedom of women is going to lead to other freedoms, you know."
"What freedoms?"
"The right to live wherever they please. One liberty brings another, you know. Women used to marry for a home, for some one to keep them. Now they needn"t, but--they have to live just the same."
"I wish you wouldn"t, Rodney. It"s so--cheap."
It was cheap. It was the old game of talking around conversational corners, of whispering behind mental doors. It was insidious, dangerous, and tantalizing. It made between them a bond of lowered voices, of being on the edge of things. Their danger was as spurious as their pa.s.sion, but Natalie, without humor and without imagination, found the sense of insecurity vaguely attractive.
Fundamentally cold, she liked the idea of playing with fire.
CHAPTER XXIV
When war was not immediately declared the rector, who on the Sunday following that eventful Sat.u.r.day of the President"s speech to Congress had preached a rousing call to arms, began to feel a bit sheepish about it.
"War or no war, my dear," he said to Delight, "it made them think for as much as an hour. And I can change it somewhat, and use it again, if the time really comes."
"Second-hand stuff!" she scoffed. "You with your old sermons, and Mother with my old dresses! But it was a good sermon," she added. "I have hardly been civil to that German laundress since."
"Good gracious, Delight. Can"t you remember that we must love our enemies?"
"Do you love them? You know perfectly well that the moment you get on the other side, if you do, you"ll be jerking the cross off your collar and bullying some wretched soldier to give you his gun."
He had a guilty feeling that she was right.
It was February then, and they were sitting in the parish house. Delight had been filling out Sunday-school reports to parents, an innovation she detested. For a little while there was only the scratching of her pen to be heard and an occasional squeal from the church proper, where the organ was being repaired. The rector sat back in his chair, his fingertips together, and whistled noiselessly, a habit of his when he was disturbed. Now and then he glanced at Delight"s bent head.
"My dear," he commented finally.
"Just a minute. That wretched little Simonton girl has been absent three Sundays out of four. And on the fourth one she said she had a toothache and sat outside on the steps. Well, daddy?"
"Do you see anything of Graham Spencer now?"
"Very little." She looked at him with frank eyes. "He has changed somehow, daddy. When we do meet he is queer. I sometimes think he avoids me."
He fell back on his noiseless whistling. And Delight, who knew his every mood, got up and perched herself on the arm of his chair.
"Don"t you get to thinking things," she said. And slipped an arm around his neck.
"I did think, in the winter--"
"I"ll tell you about that," she broke in, bravely. "I suppose, if he"d cared for me at all, I"d have been crazy about him. It isn"t because he"s good looking. I--well, I don"t know why. I just know, as long as I can remember, I--however, that"s not important. He thinks I"m a nice little thing and lets it go at that. It"s a good bit worse, of course, than having him hate me."
"Sometimes I think you are not very happy."
"I"m happier than I would be trying to make him fall in love with me.
Oh, you needn"t be shocked. It can be done. Lots of girls do it. It isn"t any moral sense that keeps me from it, either. It"s just pride."
"My dear!"
"And there"s another angle to it. I wouldn"t marry a man who hasn"t got a mind of his own. Even if I had the chance, which I haven"t. That silly mother of his--she is silly, daddy, and selfish--Do you know what she is doing now?"
"We ought not to discuss her. She--"
"Fiddlesticks. You love gossip and you know it."
Her tone was light, but the rector felt that arm around his neck tighten. He surmised a depth of feeling that made him anxious.
"She is trying to marry him to Marion Hayden."
The rector sat up, almost guiltily.
"But--are you sure she is doing that?"
"Everybody says so. She thinks that if he is married, and there is a war, he won"t want to go if he has a wife." She was silent for a moment.
"Marion will drive him straight to the devil, daddy."
The rector reached up and took her hand. She cared more than she would admit, he saw. She had thought the thing out, perhaps in the long night--when he slept placidly. Thought and suffered, he surmised. And again he remembered his worldly plans for her, and felt justly punished.
"I suppose it is hard for a father to understand how any one can know his little girl and not love her. Or be the better for it."
She kissed him and slid off the arm of his chair.
"Don"t you worry," she said cheerfully. "I had to make an ideal for myself about somebody. Every girl does. Sometimes it"s the plumber. It doesn"t really matter who it is, so you can pin your dreams to him. The only thing that hurts is that Graham wasn"t worth while."
She went back to her little cards, but some ten minutes later the rector, lost in thought, heard the scratching of her pen cease.
"Did you ever think, daddy," she said, "of the influence women have over men? Look at the Spencers. Mrs. Spencer spoiling Graham, and making her husband desperately unhappy. And--"
"Unhappy? What makes you think that?"
"He looks unhappy."
The rector was startled. He had an instant vision of Clayton Spencer, tall, composed, handsome, impeccably clothed. He saw him in the setting that suited him best, the quiet elegance of his home. Clayton unhappy!
Nonsense. But he was uneasy, too. That very gravity which he had noticed lately, that was certainly not the gravity of an entirely happy man.
Clayton had changed, somehow. Was there trouble there? And if there were, why?