He roused himself.
"Have you told Marion about the new arrangement?"
"I didn"t know whether you cared to have it told."
"Don"t you think she ought to know? If she intends to enter the family, she has a right to know that she is not marrying into great wealth. I don"t suggest," he added, as Graham colored hotly, "that it will make any difference. I merely feel she ought to know your circ.u.mstances."
He was called to the telephone, and when he came back he found them in earnest conversation. The girl turned toward him smiling.
"Graham has just told me. You are splendid, Mr. Spencer."
And afterward Clayton was forced to admit an element of sincerity in her voice. She had had a disappointment, but she was very game. Her admiration surprised him. He was nearer to liking her than he had ever been.
Even her succeeding words did not quite kill his admiration for her.
"And I have told Graham that he must not let you make all the sacrifices. Of course he is going to enlist."
She had turned her defeat into a triumph against Natalie. Clayton knew then that she would never marry Graham. As she went out he followed her with a faint smile of tribute.
The smile died as he turned to go up the stairs.
Natalie was in her dressing-room. She had not undressed, but was standing by a window. She made no sign that she heard him enter, and he hesitated. Why try to talk things out with her? Why hurt her? Why not let things drift along? There was no hope of bettering them. One of two things he must do, either tear open the situation between them, or ignore it.
"Can I get anything for your head, my dear?"
"I haven"t any headache."
"Then I think I"ll go to bed. I didn"t sleep much last night."
He was going out when she spoke again.
"I came up-stairs because I saw how things were going."
"Do you really want to go into that, to-night?"
"Why not to-night? We"ll have to go into it soon enough."
Yet when she turned to him he saw the real distress in her face, and his anger died.
"I didn"t want to hurt you, Natalie. I honestly tried. But you know how I feel about that girl."
"Even the servants know it. It is quite evident."
"We parted quite amiably."
"I dare say! You were relieved that she was going. If you would only be ordinarily civil to her--oh, don"t you see? She could keep Graham from going into this idiotic war. You can"t. I can"t. I"ve tried everything I know. And she knows she can. She"s--hateful about it."
"And you would marry him to that sort of a girl?"
"I"d keep him from being blinded, or mutilated, or being killed."
"You can kill his soul."
"His soul!" She burst into hysterical laughter. "You to talk about souls! That"s--that"s funny."
"Natalie, dear." He was very grave, very gentle. "Has it occurred to you that we are hitting it off rather badly lately?"
She looked at him quickly.
"How? Because I don"t think as you do? We got on well enough before this war came along."
"Do you think it is only that?"
"If it"s the house, just remember you gave me carte blanche there."
He made a little gesture of despair.
"I just thought perhaps you are not as happy as you might be."
"Happiness again! Did you come up-stairs to-night, with this thing hanging over us, to talk about happiness? That"s funny, too." But her eyes were suddenly suspicious. There was something strange in his voice.
"Let"s forget that for a moment. Graham will make his own decision. But, before we leave that, let me tell you that I love him as much as you do.
His going means exactly as much. It"s only--"
"Another point we differ on," she finished for him. "Go on. You are suddenly concerned about my happiness. I"m touched, Clay. You have left me all winter to go out alone, or with anybody who might be sorry enough for me to pick me up, and now?" Suddenly her eyes sharpened, and she drew her breath quickly. "You"ve seen that scandalous thing in the paper!"
"It was sent to me."
"Who sent it?"
"A firm of private detectives."
She was frightened, and the terror in her face brought him to her quickly.
"Natalie! Don"t look like that! I don"t believe it, of course. It"s stupid. I wasn"t going to tell you. You don"t think I believe it, do you?"
She let him put an arm around her and hold her, as he would a scared child. There was no love for her in it, but a great pity, and acute remorse that he could hold her so and care for her so little.
"Oh, Clay!" she gasped. "I"ve been perfectly sick about it!"
His conviction of his own failure to her made him very tender. He talked to her, as she stood with her face buried in the shoulder of his coat, of the absurdity of her fear, of his own understanding, and when she was calmer he made a futile effort to make his position clear.
"I am not angry," he said. "And I"m not fudging you in any way. But you know how things are between us. We have been drifting apart for rather a long time. It"s not your fault. Perhaps it is mine. Probably it is.
I know I don"t make you happy. And sometimes I think things have either got to be better or worse."
"If I"m willing to go along as we are, I think you should be."
"Then let"s try to get a little happiness out of it all, Natalie."