"Well," I says, "I will bring them to you tomorrow afternoon."
She says, "Thank you."
Finally I couldn"t stand it no longer. I got brave all of a sudden, and busted out: "Martha, I--I--I--"
But I got to stuttering, and my braveness stuttered itself away. And I finishes up by saying:
"I like you a hull lot, Martha." Which wasn"t jest exactly what I had planned fur to say.
Martha, she says she kind of likes me, too.
"Martha," I says, "I like you more"n any girl I ever run acrost before."
She says, "Thank you," agin. The way she said it riled me up. She said it like she didn"t know what I meant, nor what I was trying to get out of me. But she did know all the time. I knowed she did. She knowed I knowed it, too. Gosh-dern it, I says to myself, here I am wasting all this time jest TALKING to her. The right thing to do come to me all of a sudden, and like to took my breath away. But I done it. I grabbed her and I kissed her.
Twice. And then agin. Because the first was on the chin on account of her jerking her head back. And the second one she didn"t help me none.
But the third time she helped me a little. And the ones after that she helped me considerable.
Well, they ain"t no use trying to talk about the rest of that afternoon.
I couldn"t rightly describe it if I wanted to. And I reckon it"s none of anybody"s business.
Well, it makes you feel kind of funny. You want to go out and pick on somebody about four sizes bigger"n you are and knock the socks off"n him. It stands to reason others has felt that-a-way, but you don"t believe it. You want to tell people about it one minute. The next minute you have got chills and ague fur fear some one will guess it. And you think the way you are about her is going to last fur always.
That evening, when I was cooking supper, I laughed every time I was spoke to. When Looey and I was. .h.i.tching up to drive down town to give the show, one of the hosses stepped on his foot and I laughed at that, and there was purty nigh a fight. And I was handling some bottles and broke one and cut my hand on a piece of gla.s.s. I held it out fur a minute dumb-like, with the blood and medicine dripping off of it, and all of a sudden I busted out laughing agin. The doctor asts if I am crazy. And Looey says he has thought I was from the very first, and some night him and the doctor will be killed whilst asleep. One of the things we have every night in the show is an Injun dance, and Looey and I sings what the doctor calls the Siwash war chant, whirling round and round each other, and making licks at each other with our tommyhawks, and letting out sudden wild yips in the midst of that chant. That night I like to of killed Looey with that tommyhawk, I was feeling so good. If it had been a real one, instead of painted-up wood, I would of killed Looey, the lick I give him. The worst part of that was that, after the show, when we got back to camp and the hosses was picketed out fur the night, I had to tell Looey all about how I felt fur an explanation of why I hit him.
Which it made Looey right low in his sperrits, and he shakes his head and says no good will come of it.
"Did you ever hear of Romeo and Joliet?" he says:
"Mebby," I says, "but what it was I hearn I can"t remember. What about them?"
"Well," he says, "they carried on the same as you. And now where are they?"
"Well," I says, "where are they?"
"In the tomb," says Looey, very sad, like they was closte personal friends of his"n. And he told me all about them and how Young Cobalt had done fur them. But from what I could make out it all happened away back in the early days. And shucks!--I didn"t care a dern, anyhow. I told him so.
"Well," he says, "It"s been the history of the world that it brings trouble." And he says to look at Damon and Pythias, and Oth.e.l.lo and the Merchant of Venus. And he named about a hundred prominent couples like that out of Shakespeare"s works.
"But it ends happy sometimes," I says.
"Not when it is true love it don"t," says Looey. "Look at Anthony and Cleopatra."
"Yes," I says, sarcastic like, "I suppose they are in the tomb, too?"
"They are," says Looey, awful solemn.
"Yes," I says, "and so is Adam and Eve and Dan and Burrsheba and all the rest of them old-timers. But I bet they had a good time while they lasted."
Looey shakes his head solemn and sighs and goes to sleep very mournful, like he has to give me up fur lost. But I can"t sleep none myself.
So purty soon I gets up and puts on my shoes and sneaks through the wood-lot and through the gap in the fence by the apple tree and into Miss Hampton"s yard.
It was a beauty of a moonlight night, that white and clear and clean you could almost see to read by it, like all of everything had been scoured as bright as the bottom of a tin pan. And the shadders was soft and thick and velvety and laid kind of brownish-greeney on the gra.s.s. I flopped down in the shadder of some lilac bushes and wondered which was Martha"s window. I knowed she would be in bed long ago, but---- Well, I was jest plumb foolish that night, and I couldn"t of kept away fur any money. That moonlight had got into my head, it seemed like, and made me drunk. But I would rather be looney that-a-way than to have as much sense as King Solomon and all his adverbs. I was that looney that if I had knowed any poetry I would of said it out loud, right up toward that window. I never knowed why poetry was made up before that night. But the only poetry I could think of was about there was a man named Furgeson that lived on Market Street, and he had a one-eyed Thomas cat that couldn"t well be beat. Which it didn"t seem to fit the case, so I didn"t say her.
The porch of that house was part covered with vines, but they was kind of gaped apart at one corner. As I laid there in the shadder of the bushes I hearn a fluttering movement, light and gentle, on that porch.
Then, all of a sudden, I seen some one standing on the edge of the porch where the vines was gaped apart, and the moonlight was falling onto them. They must of come there awful soft and still. Whoever it was couldn"t see into the shadder where I laid, that is, if it was a human and not a ghost. Fur my first thought was it might be one of them ghosts I had been running down so that very day, and mebby the same one Miss Hampton seen on that very same porch. I thought I was in fur it then, mebby, and I felt like some one had whispered to the back of my neck it ought to be scared. And I WAS scared clean up into my hair. I stared hard, fur I couldn"t take my eyes away. Then purty soon I seen if it was a ghost it must be a woman ghost. Fur it was dressed in light-coloured clothes that moved jest a little in the breeze, and the clothes was so near the colour of the moonlight they seemed to kind of silver into it. You would of said it had jest floated there, and was waiting fur to float away agin when the breeze blowed a little stronger, or the moon drawed it.
It didn"t move fur ever so long. Then it leaned forward through the gap in the vines, and I seen the face real plain. It wasn"t no ghost, it was a lady. Then I knowed it must be Miss Hampton standing there. Away off through the trees our camp fire sent up jest a dull kind of a glow. She was standing there looking at that. I wondered why.
CHAPTER VIII
The next day we broke camp and was gone from that place, and I took away with me the half of a ring me and Martha had chopped in two. We kept on going, and by the time punkins and county fairs was getting ripe we was into the upper left-hand corner of Ohio. And there Looey left us.
One day Doctor Kirby and me was walking along the main street of a little town and we seen a bang-up funeral percession coming. It must of been one of the Grand Army of the Republicans, fur they was some of the old soldiers in buggies riding along behind, and a big string of people follering in more buggies and some on foot. Everybody was looking mighty sollum. But they was one man setting beside the undertaker on the seat of the hea.r.s.e that was looking sollumer than them all. It was Looey, and I"ll bet the corpse himself would of felt proud and happy and contented if he could of knowed the style Looey was giving that funeral.
It wasn"t nothing Looey done, fur he didn"t do nothing but jest set there with his arms folded onto his bosom and look sad. But he done THAT better than any one else. He done it so well that you forgot the corpse was the chief party to that funeral. Looey took all the glory from him.
He had jest natcherally stole that funeral away from its rightful owner with his enjoyment of it. He seen the doctor and me as the hea.r.s.e went by our corner, but he never let on. A couple of hours later Looey comes into camp and says he is going to quit.
The doctor asts him if he has inherited money.
"No," says Looey, "but my aunt has given me a chancet to go into business."
Looey says he was born nigh there, and was prowling around town the day before and run acrost an old aunt of his"n he had forgot all about.
She is awful respectable and religious and ashamed of him being into a travelling show. And she has offered to lend him enough to buy a half-share in a business.
"Well," says the doctor, "I hope it will be something you are fitted for and will enjoy. But I"ve noticed that after a man gets the habit of roaming around this terrestial ball it"s mighty hard to settle down and watch his vine and fig tree grow."
Looey smiles in a sad sort of a way, which he seldom smiled fur anything, and says he guesses he"ll like the business. He says they ain"t many businesses he could take to. Most of them makes you forget this world is but a fleeting show. But he has found a business which keeps you reminded all the time that dust is dust and ash to ashes shalt return. When he first went into the medicine business, he said, he was drawed to it by the diseases and the sudden dyings-off it always kept him in mind of. He thought they wasn"t no other business could lay over it fur that kind of comfort. But he has found out his mistake.
"What kind of business are you going into?" asts the doctor.
"I am going to be an undertaker," says Looey. "My aunt says this town needs the right kind of an undertaker bad."
Mr. Wilc.o.x, the undertaker that town has, is getting purty old and shaky, Looey says, and young Mr. Wilc.o.x, his son, is too light-minded and goes at things too brisk and airy to give it the right kind of a send-off. People don"t want him joking around their corpses and he is a fat young man and can"t help making puns even in the presence of the departed. Old Mr. Wilc.o.x"s eyesight is getting so poor he made a scandal in that town only the week before. He was composing a departed"s face into a last smile, but he went too fur with it, and give the departed one of them awful mean, devilish kind of grins, like he had died with a bad temper on. By the time the departed"s fambly had found it out, things had went too fur, and the face had set that-a-way, so it wasn"t safe to try to change it any.
Old Mr. Wilc.o.x had several brands of last looks. One was called: "Bear Up, for We Will Meet Again." The one that had went wrong was his favourite look, named: "O Death, Where is Thy Victory?"
Looey"s aunt says she will buy him a partnership if she is satisfied he can fill the town"s needs. They have a talk with the Wilc.o.xes, and he rides on the hea.r.s.e that day fur a try-out. His aunt peeks out behind her bedroom curtains as the percession goes by her house, and when she sees the style Looey is giving to that funeral, and how easy it comes to him, that settles it with her on the spot. And it seems the hull dern town liked it, too, including the departed"s fambly.
Looey says they is a lot of chancet fur improvements in the undertaking game by one whose heart is in his work, and he is going into that business to make a success of it, and try and get all the funeral trade fur miles around. He reads us an advertis.e.m.e.nt of the new firm he has been figgering out fur that town"s weekly paper. I cut a copy out when it was printed, and it is about the genteelest thing like that I even seen, as follers:
WILc.o.x AND SIMMS Invite Your Patronage