She sighed, wishing there were words that would help, knowing there were none. She understood so much more about his side of things now.
"It makes sense you"d resent them. But it also makes sense that a part of you wants to be included in their family, especially since your sisters are close with Sienna."
He glanced at her, looking more the hurt young boy than the composed man she was used to seeing.
"Well, it doesn"t matter, does it? Because Alex wants nothing to do with me."
"He"ll come around." She hoped. Because the guilt was killing her.
But guilt and her best friend"s disapproval didn"t change her feelings for Ian, which were developing and growing stronger in a very short period of time. She was still shaken up by seeing shades of her parents in her interactions with Ian, but the facts weren"t the same as her memories. And this revealing conversation showed her that even if she had flashbacks, she needed to remember to view Ian differently than she did her own father.
"And if he doesn"t come around?" Ian asked, still on their conversation about Alex.
Riley knew what he was asking, and she didn"t want to choose. She couldn"t. "All I know is, right now, I want everything to do with you."
She rose and straddled him, her knees on either side of his waist, her s.e.x directly over his now-thickening erection.
His hips surged upward, and he let out a low groan. "I know what you"re doing."
"Really? Enlighten me."
He met her gaze, heat and desire simmering in the depths. "I spilled my guts, and now you"re distracting me so you don"t have to spill yours about what happened with you."
He was right, not that she"d admit it. "Today wasn"t about me." And she wasn"t in the mood to revisit her childhood out loud, when she"d just gotten him beyond his, at least for now.
"That"s a non-answer." He braced his hands on her waist, seemingly more himself.
"I don"t want to dig into my past right now. Okay?"
His gaze sharpened. "What happened earlier had to do with your past?"
She hadn"t meant to reveal even that much. Seeking a distraction, she ground down on his hard length, moaning when the sensations rushed through her, delicious waves of yearning that precipitated the building of a fast o.r.g.a.s.m.
His fingers pressed deeper into her flesh, and her flimsy, lace panties grew wetter. Heat spread from her core throughout every part of her being.
"I will get to know you," he said, his words a definite warning.
Maybe so, but not right now. She slid her body away from his so there was enough s.p.a.ce to give her room to ease her hand into the elastic waist of his pants and brush the head of his c.o.c.k.
His erection jerked against her hand.
"Commando?" she asked, the very thought sending heat spiraling through her.
He shrugged, as if his lack of underwear were an everyday occurrence. "I sleep nude, might as well make life as easy as possible."
"I can"t say I mind." She eased her fingers deeper so she could wrap them around his velvety, thick p.e.n.i.s.
His hips bucked, his gaze darkened, and his erection grew even more solid beneath the firm grip of her hand. Knowing she could wreak havoc with his control caused a rush of pleasure to storm her senses. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s throbbed with the need to be touched, but this wasn"t about her.
She wanted to take his mind off his family"s rejection. Make him feel better. Just make him feel.
She pulled his shirt up and off then leaned forward, placing her hands on his chest. She breathed in his heady masculine scent, wet her lips, then licked one firm nipple. The salty taste inflamed her senses, and she wanted more.
He shuddered and groaned. Encouraged, she ran her tongue around and around the rigid peak, losing herself in everything that was Ian. His hair-roughened chest beneath her palm, his hot skin, and his incredible taste had her shifting her lower body, but there was no relief to be found. Only building desire.
Instinct had her wanting to bite, and she nipped him with her teeth.
"Holy s.h.i.t."
His fingers bit into her waist, and the edge of pain heightened her desire. Tightening her grip, she pumped her hand up and down his shaft. His c.o.c.k thrust upward, and pre-come moistened her palm. He groaned, and with her lips still against his chest, his big body trembled.
"You feel so good in my hand. So hot and thick. So ready to come."
"I"m not going to let you play much longer," he warned her.
"You will," she said, squeezing his c.o.c.k in her hand. "Want to know why?" She looked into his handsome face.
"Why?" he asked, his expression a mix of pleasure and pain.
"Because I"m asking you nicely."
He slid his hand into her hair, another warning his willing lack of control was coming to an end.
"Please let me make you feel good." She peppered soft kisses over his delicious skin, moving lower until her mouth hit the top of his pants.
She slid to the floor. "Please," she asked again, hooking her hands into his waistband and urging him to help her tug his pants down and off.
He met her gaze, and the turmoil she saw almost had her giving in, but she wanted this. Wanted to see this big, strong man give over to her this one time.
"You have control issues." She pinned him with what she hoped was her most serious gaze.
"That goes without saying."
She nodded. "After what you told me today, I think I understand why. You had everything you believed in stripped away from you, and you had to take over as the head of your family. Control makes you feel like you won"t be hurt again," she said.
He shuddered, her words clearly hitting a nerve. She remained on her knees, waiting.
"I won"t hurt you," she said in a soft voice. "Just trust me."
With a low oath, he stood and let his sweats fall to the floor. Pleasure and relief suffused her as he tossed them away and lowered himself back to the couch.
She slid her fingers up his thigh, her hand looking small and delicate next to him. She crawled up between his legs and studied his hot, thick length, sure he"d grown even bigger in the last few minutes.
Undeterred, she licked his shaft, up then down, coating him with moisture before taking him in deep. He was so hot, so big, she hoped she could do this, and continued to envelop him.
"Oh, f.u.c.k, baby." His hand gripped her hair hard. "You feel so good."
Moisture trickled from her s.e.x. Doing this for him was making her even needier. She tightened her mouth around his shaft and began to draw her lips up and down, creating an intense suctioning she both heard and felt. Her jaw stretched; her eyes watered. She added her hand, the moisture provided by her mouth making for slick ease of movement.
He tugged at her scalp, and she felt the harsh pull in her c.l.i.t. G.o.d, she wished she could touch herself, make herself come. She moaned around him, sucking him as deep as she could, until he nudged the back of her throat. Needing air, she quickly released him and breathed in deep before she slid her lips around him once more.
With a groan, he cupped the back of her head, holding on to her as he jerked his hips, forcing his c.o.c.k into her open, waiting mouth.
This time, she moaned at the sensual a.s.sault, which overwhelmed her as she accepted all of him, including his dominant need. He pumped into her again and again, as out of control as she suddenly felt.
She slid her hand up and down his shaft faster, twisting her wrist, and driving him harder.
"Baby, time to move," he gritted out, tugging harder on her hair, surprising her by giving her a choice.
She didn"t want one and clamped her lips tighter until, with a harsh shout, he spilled himself inside her mouth, and she accepted all of it. All of him as he released not just his pa.s.sion but, she hoped, also the pain and hurt that had been building inside him all day.
Although she hadn"t found her own physical release, Riley collapsed to the floor, spent from the emotions she"d put into this one act.
She was surprised when Ian lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom, laying her down on his bed.
"Breathe," he told her.
She forced deep gulps of air into her lungs until finally, her breathing slowed. She curled against him, wanting nothing more than his arms around her, which he did without her asking.
"That was awesome, baby."
She"d pleased him, and she let a smile curve her lips.
He brushed her hair from her face and stared into her eyes. "Someday you"ll open up to me."
She hadn"t expected him to forget her outburst, but she"d hoped he wouldn"t bring it up again so soon. Not wanting to engage in conversation, she sighed and laid her head against his chest, closing her eyes. She was too tired to even think, and thankfully, he didn"t force the issue.
Ian held Riley while she slept. His emotions had settled down, in complete thanks to Riley. That was the effect she had on him, and he wasn"t just talking about the intense b.l.o.w. .j.o.b she"d given him. And it had been incredible. The best he"d ever had-because she"d been emotionally invested in him.
Please let me make you feel good. Her words had shredded his emotions, stripping him bare. She"d gotten into his head in a way no woman ever had. Because she cared. Not because he was wealthy and could give her gifts in return, not because she desired something from him, but because she wanted just him.
When he"d instinctively grabbed her hair, her low, throaty moan had reverberated around his c.o.c.k as she sucked him in completely. She liked the bite of pain, the direction he gave. But he had no illusions that he"d been in control. And in that second when he"d been about to come, every instinct inside him had screamed at him to toss her over the sofa and take her hard and fast. To be the one in charge.
He couldn"t.
Didn"t.
Because she"d needed to finish what she"d started, to give to him. And now here he was, with a woman in his bed, holding her, caressing her hair, and f.u.c.king thinking about his feelings.
Gentleness didn"t come naturally to him, but for her, this felt right. She was changing him, seeping inside him and altering him in ways he didn"t recognize. Ways that scared him to his very soul. Because life didn"t come with guarantees, and nothing about Riley promised she"d remain his.
Riley woke up surrounded in heat, Ian"s strong arms wrapped securely around her. A glance at the clock on the nightstand told her it was nearly eleven p.m. She inhaled and smelled his delicious masculine scent. She wished she could remain in the safe coc.o.o.n of his arms and leave her problems behind. A scary thought, as last night returned in vivid detail.
She"d given guys b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs before. It always seemed to be a t.i.t for tat kind of thing with most men, but she"d never wanted to give one to a man so badly.
She"d needed to take Ian into her mouth, to taste him, to give him the badly needed release of his stress and pain. He"d needed to see that someone in his life cared enough about him to put his feelings first. She"d wanted to be the one to show him he mattered.
What she hadn"t antic.i.p.ated was her own reaction to his need to control. He"d gripped her hair. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s had throbbed. He"d pulled harder. She"d moaned. He"d cupped her head in his big hand, and she"d nearly come from the feeling of being restrained. The other night, he"d tied her to the headboard, and she"d come apart, harder and faster than ever before.
Hadn"t her father held her mother down and beat her? Hadn"t he dragged her across the room by her hair? So what did it say about Riley that she liked being dominated in any way?
She exhaled hard, a low groan escaping from her throat.
"You"re awake?" he asked in a deep voice.
"Mmm-hmm. Did you sleep too?"
"No."
She blinked into the darkness. "You just stayed with me?"
His arms tightened around her. "Yes."
She didn"t know what to make of that.
The silence reverberated around them until she decided she"d overstayed her welcome. Both for her own peace of mind and probably his.
"I should go," she said, beginning her slide out of bed.
"Don"t."
She stilled. Her heart beat a staccato rhythm, panic filling her at the dichotomy she"d discovered within herself.
"Stay," he said, an underlying tremor in that one word.
Her instinct to soothe him overrode her own sense of fear, and she rolled to her side, facing him. Her next words didn"t come easily. "You have to realize that we couldn"t be more different."
He narrowed his gaze. "We"ve had enough dinners together for you to know we have plenty in common," he said.
She couldn"t help but grin at his attempt to deliberately misunderstand her point. "You know what I mean."
"I do." His body stiffened, but he continued. "Clearly we"ve both got issues. But you"re talking about my s.e.xual needs, and that"s your fear talking. You liked everything we"ve done together."
She had. And that was the problem. She couldn"t accept it.
His domineering ways went against everything she wanted for herself. It reminded her too much of the emotional upheaval and painful childhood she"d left behind.
He leaned over and pressed his lips to hers with such extreme gentleness, tears formed in the corner of her eyes.
Despite everything inside her warning her to keep her distance, she responded, tension leaving her as he slid his tongue over her lips. She did the same, their mouths gliding back and forth.
For a long while, they lay side by side, just kissing. She lost herself in the taste of him, in his ability to give back to her in this simple but oh-so-effective way.
Her s.e.x pulsed, heavy with need, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s grew tight with the need to be touched, yet he did nothing but explore her mouth with long, leisurely strokes of his tongue.