"I wouldn"t expect anything less. Now, you mentioned anxiety."
Tyler straightened his shoulders. "Not my story to tell."
Grey inclined his head. He wanted to hear anything about Avery from Avery. "Can you at least tell me if I should let her know about the crazy fan?"
Tyler blew out a harsh breath. "I"m torn between honesty and whether or not this will put her over the edge." He paused in thought. "Tell you what. Send me the email, and I"ll shoot you one back with the information I need to dig into who sent it. Let me get to work on the email and look into her blog. If I find out we"re dealing with someone seriously unhinged, I"ll let you know, and we"ll change tactics."
Grey nodded. He was clearly in the dark about Avery in ways he hadn"t expected. He needed to trust her brother"s judgment.
"I hate lying, even by omission," he said, his voice low. "But I don"t want to freak her out either."
Tyler ran a hand through his slightly longer-than-military-cut hair. "I know. I don"t want her blindsided, but I also don"t want her under a crazy amount of stress. Not until we see how badly this current band-breakup news is going to get for her. So we"re agreed?"
He nodded. "Agreed." He extended a hand, a peace offering of sorts toward Tyler.
Tyler shook his hand. "Doesn"t mean I like you, Kingston."
"Understood." Grey didn"t need anything more from Tyler than for him to know the facts and help keep Avery safe.
Tyler glanced toward the bedrooms. "Tell Avery I"m running out to buy supplies to get her locks updated. I"ll be back to install and let her know who"ll be watching her six."
Grey respected her brother"s ability to pull together all the safety features Avery needed. "I will."
Tyler eyed him hard. "Keep her safe."
That went without saying but Grey replied anyway. "Will do."
Tyler headed out, slamming the door shut behind him, leaving Grey alone with the knowledge that he"d done more harm than good by returning to Avery"s life. At least according to her brother. What mattered was what Avery thought, and his chances with her had always been shaky.
Now? He had no idea what he was up against. All he could do was make sure she felt the depth of his feelings for her and believed that if she was with him, she"d be protected and safe ... and hope for the best.
Avery couldn"t stand sitting around her room any longer. Ella got busy blow-drying her hair. She wouldn"t discuss Tyler, just saying that Avery"s brother had always been controlling, annoying, and a pain in the a.s.s. Avery agreed, but she still sensed more brewing and couldn"t begin to understand their dynamic. And why hadn"t she picked up on it sooner? Meanwhile, her brother and Grey were in the other room discussing G.o.d knew what, and she"d had enough.
She swept into the room only to find Grey staring out the window and Tyler nowhere to be seen. She took in the stiff lines of Grey"s broad back, the way he braced his hands on the windowsill and looked down, lost in thought and wondered what had been said between these two men in her life.
"Hey. Where"s Tyler?"
Grey turned, his concerned gaze meeting hers. "He took off. Said to tell you he was going out to buy better locks and he"d be back to install them. He"ll also be in touch about who he picks as your bodyguard."
She stiffened at the reminder of how much her life had and would change if she persisted in this relationship with Grey. No matter how short term, the tumultuous existence that followed him would become hers as well.
"Come here." Grey beckoned with a crook of his finger, and d.a.m.n her, she walked over, as if pulled across the room by an invisible string.
He braced his hands on her waist, deliberately lifting her top and touching her bare skin. His palms seared like a hot brand on her skin. Her nipples tightened, her s.e.x clenched, and need swept through her, all rational thought and concern disappearing at his touch.
"We need to talk."
Apparently she didn"t have the same effect on him, and she fought through the haze of desire to regain her wits. "We do. I want to know what you and my brother discussed behind my back."
"I already told you."
She frowned. "That was what Tyler had to say. You"re the one who wanted a minute with him. So ... spill."
"That was just guy s.h.i.t. We needed to get some facts straight, and we did."
"Such as?" If he wasn"t going to jump her bones the way her body wanted, she intended to force honest answers from him.
"Such as the fact that I"m back in your life, and I"m not going anywhere, so he"d better get used to it and stop giving you a hard time about me."
"Oh." That statement shocked her.
The notion that Grey would take that kind of stand with Tyler took her off guard. If her brothers thought he"d made promises, they"d be even more p.i.s.sed off when the inevitable happened and he left again. She bit down on her lip. Somehow she"d have to explain to the overprotective men in her family that she"d known the end result with Grey. No matter what he claimed or believed now.
She blew out a calming breath.
"Oh? That"s all you have to say?"
She couldn"t help the grin that lifted her lips. "I"m impressed that you"d take Tyler on."
He rubbed his nose against hers. "I already told you, anything for you, Very."
She melted inside and accepted that this was worth the pain and difficulty his star status would cause her. She slipped her hands around his waist, and suddenly his hard c.o.c.k was nestled between her thighs. Warmth and need became a tangible thing. His breathing grew rougher, and her hips began to circle against him in a dance she couldn"t control.
He let out a harsh groan that reverberated inside her, and her eyes fluttered closed as she swayed into him.
"Now I need an answer," he said.
She didn"t know how he managed to think clearly when her panties were so wet, her s.e.x so needy, she could barely bring herself to care that Ella was right in the next room.
Which meant whatever he wanted to know was more important to him than lifting her dress, ripping off her panties, and thrusting inside her.
That cooled off her libido. "About what?" she asked, though now that her brain was back in control, she had a feeling she already knew.
He led her to the couch and resettled her where they"d been before except he pulled her onto his lap. Instead of desire, nerves settled inside her.
"What did Tyler mean, asking if you had a panic attack getting past the photographers?"
She swallowed hard. She"d never admitted the truth to him back in high school because she"d been mortified by her weakness. She tried to pretend the problem didn"t exist, and if she took daily medication and life stayed on a fairly even keel, it didn"t. She"d tried going off the medication once before only to have intermittent attacks occur and a low level of anxiety exist as her constant friend. Hence she"d gone back on daily maintenance medication.
She"d gotten past the embarra.s.sment and stigma of having a generalized anxiety disorder ... except now she was faced with telling Grey. A man who got up on stage in front of hundreds of thousands and had no such issues. She didn"t know if he understood them ... or wanted to.
He ran his hand over her back. "You can tell me anything."
"Can I?" she asked, the thoughtless words coming out.
"What"s that supposed to mean?" he asked, hurt in his voice and in his stricken expression.
She sighed. "I"m sorry. It"s just ..."
Grey shook his head. "No apologies necessary. I want you to talk to me, so start at the beginning. When did you have your first panic attack?"
Avery nodded. "When I left the hospital after the bone marrow donation."
As Grey listened, she explained how the reporters had been lying in wait to question her and her mother when she"d walked out of the building.
"It was awful. Like today except worse because I was just nine. They surrounded us like a pack of jackals and asked my mother the most embarra.s.sing questions."
Having been on the receiving end of such questions, Grey could imagine.
"My mother held me tight against her and tried to lead me to the car, but they were so close. The bright lights, the shouting. I tried to keep it together but ... I pa.s.sed out." Even now, her cheeks flushed, and it killed Grey to think she was embarra.s.sed to tell him.
"They"re uncaring animals. Even children aren"t off-limits. I hate that you went through that." He continued stroking her back, hoping he could both soothe her and keep her talking. "What happened after that?"
"I came to in an ER cubicle. My mom was frantic. It was almost a relief when they said it was a panic attack and nothing more serious."
He was afraid to ask but figured he might as well get all the ugly out at once. "And your dad? Where was he in all this?"
She froze in his arms. "With his sick daughter, Sienna, and her mother."
Grey hated Robert Dare as much if not more than he hated his own father. "Aww, baby. You"re lucky you had your mom."
"I know. She was-is-amazing. She could have brushed it off as a one-time incident, but she didn"t. Between the bone marrow and the pa.s.sing out, she was worried about me. At the pediatrician"s suggestion, she took me to a child psychologist, and they worked with me on calming exercises."
"Did they help?"
"Not so much."
He figured. Because Tyler wouldn"t have mentioned them earlier if they hadn"t happened again.
Grey tangled his hands in her hair and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her scent, finding comfort as much as he hoped he was instilling some in her. "Keep going," he said.
"The kids at school were brutal, so yeah. The panic attacks continued."
She curled into him, and he held on tight, wanting to never let go.
"Eventually the doctor prescribed child-safe meds. And as I got older, crowds or certain situations would trigger things again. But by then I could take other medications, and things got under control. I"m fine."
She shrugged, clearly trying to play off the situation, something he couldn"t allow. "Except you weren"t fine today. Because you had to run the gauntlet of reporters just like you did back then, right?"
"I didn"t pa.s.s out." She pushed herself off him and turned so she straddled his lap instead of being tucked into him. "I admit that I panicked ... I had the symptoms, and when I got into my room, I took a Xanax for the first time in a long while, but I didn"t pa.s.s out," she said with strength and conviction.
As if she wanted him to know she was strong. And he did. "Sugar, I know you handled it. I got here and you were giving your brother h.e.l.l," he said with pride in his voice. "So no worries there." He pulled in a long breath, then took the conversation where he dreaded going. "The thing is, it"s part of my life, not yours, and you hate it. Which means you shouldn"t have to handle it. Especially when it brings back such painful memories."
His heart hurt because he wanted her to a.s.sociate him with good times, not bad. Yet he didn"t know how to fix things for her. For them.
"I"ve seriously given this a lot of thought." She met his gaze, her eyes damp but focused on his.
He did his best to ignore the heat of her s.e.x above his, to tamp down the uncomfortable erection caused by her position above him. Instead he focused on her words because those moist eyes made him nervous.
"You say you"re home to stay, and you believe it when you say it. But I know you, and music is in your heart. Playing to the crowd is in your soul. And eventually, normal life will get boring. Music will call to you, or the lure of the fans and touring will. And I"m not going to be the one to hold you back."
His heart, the one she claimed belonged to music, beat hard and painfully in his chest. "What are you trying to say?" Because it sounded like an ending, not the beginning he craved.
"I"m saying that I"m here with you now. I want this time with you again except I"m older and wiser than I was before. When you go this time, I"ll be more prepared. So whatever I have to deal with now, the press, the bodyguard, I"ll get through it in order to have you. For however long it lasts." With tears in her eyes, she leaned close and sealed her lips over his.
Grey kissed her back, his heart in every touch of her lips and swipe of her tongue. His mind, however, was on her words. She was here because she thought this was short term. She wasn"t panicking per se, because she didn"t believe he"d be part of her future. While he was trying to cement himself in the very fabric of her being, she was holding herself back, preparing for what she perceived as an inevitable end.
His heart nearly broke at the thought. He wanted to correct her, to set things straight, but doing so might be even worse. If he persisted in trying to convince her how serious he was about their future, if she thought she"d have to deal with the paparazzi and groupies long term, she might cut him off immediately. He couldn"t handle losing her before he ever really had her again.
Better he stick with his original plan and make himself such a part of her life, so indispensable to her, show her how in love with her he really was ... she"d be willing to put up with anything for them to be together.
And he did love her. Not the memory of her, not the girl she"d been, but the strong, beautiful woman she was now. All of her. So he"d prove to her that he was willing to give up the touring and the insanity of the road for the chance at normal. With her by his side.
He gripped her hair, tilted her head, and kissed her harder, taking control before he lost his d.a.m.n mind by thinking too much. He tugged at the long strands, and she rewarded him with a shuddering moan, rocking her hips against his. Arousal built swiftly, as did the need slamming inside her and reminding them both that together they were bigger and better than they were alone.
"Avery? Is that a.s.shole gone?"
"Ella!" Avery squeaked, her hands pushing against his chest as she quickly rolled off him. She scooted into a sitting position while he grabbed the nearest throw pillow and covered his straining, obvious erection.
"Oh my G.o.d, I"m sorry." Her roommate spun around in a flash of light brown hair so she could scurry back to her room.
"Don"t go!" Avery said to her roommate.
Why the f.u.c.k not? Grey wondered.
"Are you sure?" Ella peered over her shoulder, giving Grey his first glimpse of her face.
"Yes. I think introductions are in order." Avery pulled herself together quicker than Grey was managing. "Ella Shaw, this is Grey Kingston."
Since he and Avery had only been together for senior year, though by the intensity of their feelings it felt like much longer, he hadn"t met Ella in person. He had, however, heard a lot about her.
Cheeks flushed with embarra.s.sment, she walked over and stuck out her hand. "Umm, nice to meet you."
"Likewise," he said, shifting uncomfortably and grateful for the pillow, which she clearly hadn"t missed.
"G.o.d, could today get any worse?" Ella asked.
Grey shook his head, knowing he had to put the poor woman at ease. "It can only get better from here."
"He"s right," Avery said. "And Tyler"s gone, so that"s a start for you."
That comment broke the ice, and Ella laughed, a genuine, honest giggle that Grey enjoyed, especially at Tyler"s expense.
"Are you leaving for the airport soon?" Avery asked. She turned to Grey. "Ella works for a Miami-based designer who keeps her hopping with photo shoots and meetings."
"Sounds like fun."