"Oh, you don"t know. Not nearly ..."
"But, perhaps life is just simpler if you make the best of it."
"But you don"t have to do this ... You could make a life with someone you actually love and who loves you."
Luca shot him a look. "I did see her. Underneath all that make-up ... But she was with that vampire boy I saw how he looked at her."
"About him-" Raphael started, but was interrupted.
"The vampires are not concerned with family loyalty. They are a slave to pa.s.sion. I daresay he can give her what I can"t."
"I think he is taking advantage of her," said Raphael abruptly. But as Luca looked up, the door to the stables opened.
"You should come and join the party." Lowe stood, his tone was light, but his eyes regarded the two of them, suspiciously, perhaps even jealously.
"In a minute ..." Luca looked over at Raphael, who was hiding his irritation well.
"Now. We"ll go now." Raphael said with authority. He slapped his horse on its rump and it whinnied, moving forward to chomp on some hay.
"The party ..." Luca shut his eyes and for the first time Raphael noticed the shadows undernearth them. He pushed a hand through his hair.
"And I must find Lila. She and her mother will have arrived by now."
"Indeed, I have seen her." Lowe said. "The prettiest girl at the parade."
Luca and Raphael exchanged a look.
The noise outside the stables was building, even though the crowds were some distance away.
"Shall we go?" Lowe swept his arm out theatrically. "We can"t disappoint the people."
"Of course we can"t," said Raphael with a hint of sarcasm. "That would never do."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR.
A small dark-haired girl broke free from a group of girls her age and ran across the palace fields. Picking up her skirt, her heart-shaped face beamed across at me, where I stood watching with some boredom a juggling troupe.
I squinted, hoping it was who I thought it was.
"Is it you?" the girl said, arriving swiftly at my feet. "I thought it was you."
"Dalya!" I felt a rush of pleasure at seeing at her. "Is my disguise that bad?"
Dalya"s face creased into a broad smile. "Only to those who are looking," she said, before looking down at her feet shyly. "And I have been looking."
"Really?" I glanced quickly around her, spotting Soren talking animatedly with Vanya some distance away. I pulled at Dalya"s arm. "Come on, let"s get out of here for a bit."
Dalya took my hand and, feeling its warmth, its link to Luca, I held on to it tightly, happy and sad at the same time.
"So," said Dalya, with the excited innocence of a child, "what are you doing back here? Is it true that you and the vampire-boy are in love?"
"What?" I stared at Dalya open-mouthed.
"Oh ... I didn"t mean ... I thought ..." Dalya faltered, her sweet face troubled now. "Lowe is telling everybody."
"Is he?" I set my mouth sternly. "Well you can tell that troublemaking brother of yours that Soren and I are just friends, and he"s not a-" I checked herself. "He"s not my boyfriend."
"I"m glad then ..." Dalya blushed. "I know it"s selfish, but I can"t bear to think of you with a vampire." She squirmed a little to express her distaste. "The vampires at my school are always the sly ones. The ones who sit back and watch the rest of us get into trouble for fooling around. They"re always there, staring at you with their creepy white faces. And their mouths are too red."
I laughed then, glad of Dalya"s chatter.
"So, if he"s not your boyfriend, what are you doing with him?" the girl persisted.
I hadn"t expected to have to answer this, and my face must have betrayed my anxiety because Dalya put a small hand to her mouth, her eyes widening.
"Is it something to do with Luca?"
I sighed. "Listen, Dalya, it"s complicated. I met Soren back home in the mortal world. It"s a long story, but he told me he could come to bring me back to Luca. That he would help me ..." I trailed off, realising how pathetic and tenuous that sounded.
"I wish I could do magic," Dalya said, sadly, taking my hand again, "and have you and Luca reunited and my parents happy at the same time and everything just perfect." Her small shoulders slumped. "But I don"t know how to make it happen ..."
I made sure my face did not betray disappointment. I think somehow I imagined that Dalya was going to tell me that Luca was pining for me, that he was willing to give up everything for me. Instead, I smiled uncertainly at her.
"I think he came to me in my dream," I said. "I"m sure of it. It was odd, because he wasn"t as clear as he was when we ... well, when we first met. But I had such a familiar feeling. Maybe I am wrong ..."
"You"re not wrong, but ..." Dalya twiddled a lock of her hair. "Please ... don"t be angry ... but it was me."
"It was you!" My insides turned over, registering disappointment first, then confusion. "What made you ... ?"
She wrung her hands. "Henora warned me that as I grew older I would develop this ability to speak to people through my dreams. If they"re on my mind ... If I miss them." She looked up at me through her eyelashes. "Luca had the same dreams ..."
"I remember," I said, smiling at the memory. "I thought there was something wrong. I thought it was Luca." I tried not to show the pain that hit me as I spoke, though ever-intuitive, Dalya squeezed my hand tightly.
"There is no danger. Just a bit of sadness. Luca is ... well he is not the same these days. He is so quiet. He has no sense of humour. He is like a machine with no feelings. He just does everything Henora tells him to do. But his eyes are dead. I just wanted ..."
"I know." Seeing her distressed, I gave her a brief hug. "I want it too. But perhaps we both have to let go of it." I could hardly believe I was saying this, and not at all sure I believed I could do it, but Dalya was only a kid. With the weight of the world on her shoulders.
"So now you feel you came back here for nothing?"
"No. Not now ..." I shook my head. Hesitant about telling Lila the other reason. "I am glad to see you. So glad."
But instead of smiling, Dalya"s whole body seemed to deflate. I could have sworn I saw tears in those dark eyes.
"Lila is not you ... She"s nice enough. I suppose she"s pretty, but she"s ... needy," Dalya said with some distaste. "And the way she sucks up to Mother like a little girl who wants to be loved."
"Maybe she does?" I knew the truth about poor Lila, and I wished I could tell Dalya, but I couldn"t betray Soren like that.
"Well, she can find some other boy to love." Dalya looked sulky. "I mean, why does it have to be Luca?"
"Where is Lila?" I asked. "Is she here, at the parade?"
"She is arriving at any moment, and I must go and join my family, to greet her. So that we can act out the pantomime. All so that Henora is happy."
"What a mess." I reached out for Dalya"s hand. "But you mustn"t worry ... Go now. I hope to see you again."
"I hope so." Dalya held on to my hand. "I can still talk to you, in your dreams, if you like?"
"I like." I hugged her properly then, feeling her slight frame, and the silky softness of her hair where it brushed against my face. I watched her as she walked away, each step she took looked heavy. Like her heart. Like mine. As she disappeared through a group of people standing at the edge of the field. I turned to think, staring out at the acres of field in front of me. The sun had come out and my face underneath the make-up felt hot. I badly wanted to scrub it off. Be myself again. This whole day was pointless.
As I turned back to face the palace, my eye caught a willowy blonde figure, dressed in a white tunic, her hair pulled back prettily.
Lila.
At her side, was an older woman. Must be her mother, Hanni. Her adoptive mother. Suddenly I thought of Soren. I had lost sight of him. Dalya and I had walked so far from the others. If my own dreams were shattered, I could at least help him.
I walked back, the sound of the bra.s.s band growing louder. And the closer I got to the palace, to the people, the louder my heart seemed to beat. Alone, I felt vulnerable somehow, as though, unguarded, all manner of danger might come to get me. I picked up my feet until I was practically running.
"There you are." A strong arm gripped mine, and I gasped, turning with relief to see Soren.
"She"s here," I said breathlessly. "Lila."
"I know. I saw her too." He shrugged. "I don"t know what to do."
"You. You don"t know what to do?" I almost laughed. "Well you have to try and talk to her ..."
"What is the likelihood of me getting anywhere near her?" He gave a humourless laugh. "She is surrounded."
I thought for a moment. "Soren, this might sound a bit out there, but I know someone who"s close to me and also to Lila. In a sense, anyway. If she knew the truth, she would certainly help."
He looked bemused. "Who?"
"Luca"s sister. Dalya. She and I have an understanding." I sighed. "In fact, it was Dalya who came to me the other night, not Luca." I waved away the question that was about to come from his lips. "It"s OK. I"m OK. But seeing as my own plight is kind of hopeless. I feel I should help you, if I can."
"Can you trust this girl?"
"As much as I can trust anyone. I trust her like I trust Dot, my sister." As I said it, I knew I meant it. "And she knows there is something ... a little odd about Lila. She was saying so just now."
"You have been busy." Soren nodded. "But I don"t know ... I don"t want to frighten Lila."
"Has it occurred to you that Lila might actually be happy to know she has a brother? A proper flesh-and-blood brother."
"It has occurred to me that it would distress her to know that her brother killed her entire family," he said grimly.
I rounded on him. "But what about the truth? You can"t spend the rest of your life pretending."
"The rest of my life?" He smiled, but it was a forlorn kind of smile.
"Well ... eternity then." I reached out and touched his shoulder. It occurred to me for the first time that living for ever wasn"t really the dream that mortals longed for. It could be for ever spent sad and regretful. I realised that underneath the cynical humour, Soren was just that.
"What about you? Are you going to spend your life pretending? You don"t get long, after all."
"Way to cheer me up," I said, dryly. But he had a point.
"Luca is prepared to ... So there"s not a lot I can do about it. Even Dalya can"t see him changing his mind. And in a way, it makes me well, it makes me love him more."
"Oh, Jane." Soren gently lifted my chin with his fingertip. "Luca is a fool."
The sky above us was growing darker blue, and over at the palace, tall candles glittered magically.
"Time for the palace party," Soren said, his gaze crisscrossing. On the lookout for Lila, I supposed.
I linked my arm through his. "Come on. I"m starving," I said. "Let"s see if the banquet has started." I pulled him with me. It was true, my stomach ached I was so hungry. But I wanted to find Dalya again. If she was willing to help get Lila on her own then tonight might be Soren"s only chance to talk to his sister. And set the record straight.
The musical theme was jazz. Jaunty trumpets played us inside the palace gates. Palace staff stood about with jugs of sparkling liquid, welcoming the hundreds of guests as they streamed through, keen to get their free food and drink, courtesy of the Celestial family.
Groups of people, smiling, bopping to the music, painted a happy carefree picture. I could see that Nissilum was sometimes a happy jubilant place, where its people were content with living under its regime.
Near to the grand entrance, Vanya stood talking to Celeste. They made an odd couple. Vanya tall, willowy and dangerous-looking, waved her elegant hands about expressively, while Celeste stood demurely, nodding in a polite way. If she was uncomfortable, she didn"t betray it. I even saw a flicker of a smile at something Vanya was saying. Vanya briefly caught my eye, lifting her chin, a sly smile on her face.
I just hoped Dalya had not been whisked away. I looked around me, my heart flipping over at the sight of the tall, slender boy standing with his brother and a couple of the palace minions. With his hands stuck into his pockets, he was nodding absently at their banter. I felt my insides contract as I watched his eyes travel away from his companions, looking this way and that, and I saw for the first time how thin he had become. He lifted his head and his gaze came to rest on where we stood, Soren and I. I swallowed, wanting to look away, but I couldn"t do it. I wanted to pretend he was no more than a stranger, but I didn"t take my eyes off him, and then his eyes met mine, and a look of sadness came over his face as he smiled a secret smile.
I smiled back, not wanting the moment to stop, but within seconds Lowe was tugging at his brother"s arm and Luca turned from me, his head bent back, listening to what Lowe had to say.
I had it though, I had the sign I needed.
"Luca!" A pretty voice, like a little bell, chimed through the crowds, and it seemed that everyone standing in the palace courtyard turned to watch the girl practically skip through the crowds.
Luca looked up, recognising her, and it looked like his expression changed, and broad smile lit up his face.
"Stay calm," Soren whispered, as though reading my thoughts. "It is to be expected."
I drew myself up, nodding, and noticed the sulky dark-haired girl traipsing along with her formidable mother.
"Dalya," I said, grabbing Soren"s arm. "That"s Dalya."
"The child?" Soren frowned. "I don"t think-"
But I didn"t wait for him to finish his sentence. Instead, I darted through a group of witches.
"Dalya!" I shouted, half hiding behind a giant of a man; he must have been a werewolf. I saw her turn, her eyes flashing, curiously, to see who had shouted for her. To my relief she saw me and her face brightened. She turned and came towards me.
"Careful, missy," said the bearded man, jovially. "Come to see your Uncle Olwen ..."