Lowe leaned forward to kiss Lila on both cheeks, and gave Luca a curt nod. "Have fun!"
CHAPTER SIX.
"This is a day for you to familiarise yourself with the college campus," said Mr Farrelly, the college princ.i.p.al. "And to meet your tutors." He paused, looking around the hall at the throng of new students. "I hope you"ll take a minute to get to know each other," he added. "This is a time not just for learning, but to broaden your social horizons, too." He smiled at us. "Now, does anyone have any questions?"
As hands shot up in the air, I took the opportunity to look at my fellow students. It was a while since I"d been in this situation, and I was relieved to find that it was bearable. In fact, it was actually liberating. A chance to reinvent myself. The last time I had sat in a cla.s.sroom, I had been fourteen and the subject of one girl"s constant bullying. Sarah Emmerson had made my life h.e.l.l every day, all because I didn"t look or act like her or her Barbie clique. In the end my parents had taken me away and home-schooled me. It was early days, but it seemed like here n.o.body looked at me like I was a freak. Maybe I could now be the confident sociable Jane I had never been before?
An Asian girl called Tammi introduced herself to me. She was studying the sciences. She seemed sweet, though we wouldn"t have any cla.s.ses together. A red-haired bespectacled boy told me his name was Tom. He was studying Art, English and History, like me though he was taking Maths too. He seemed OK, if a bit nerdy.
Then there were the twins, Ashley and Emma, wearing tiny little dresses and heels who looked me up and down and, clearly deciding I was absolutely no threat whatsoever, dragged me to the cafeteria to get some hot chocolate before we all went to meet our tutors.
"Everyone calls us A&E," said, Ashley, giggling. "You know ... like Accident and Emergency? Because we"re always getting into trouble. And we"re pretty clumsy ..."
I genuinely smiled then. At least they weren"t arrogant.
Sitting in the canteen, I listened to A&E"s chatter, wondering how long it took them to get dressed and make themselves up every morning. My jeans and Vneck wool sweater seemed woefully understated. Everyone, I realised, was making some kind of fashion statement here. Everyone but me.
"You have such pretty hair," said Ashley, attempting to draw me into the conversation. "Do you tong?"
I shook my head, self-conscious, and made a mental note to do a drastic wardrobe makeover. Looking like you"d been to a fashion camp was clearly the way to fit in here.
Finally a bell rang, telling us to make our way to our respective subject cla.s.srooms and tutors. Saying goodbye to A&E, I walked with Tom, who talked so quickly that I could hardly keep up with what he was saying. Something about taking his Maths A-level early ... Every so often he"d glance at me and go a little red, then apologise for talking too much. I wished I was the kind of socially-gifted person who could have made him feel at ease. But years of being a hermit had taken their toll.
Needless to say, Tom and I were both relieved when we arrived in the Art room and scurried off to find empty seats some way from each other.
Flopping down at my desk, I opened my bag and started riffling through it to find a pen and a notebook.
Around me, the chatter of students was a novelty. I hadn"t yet decided whether I was enjoying it or not.
I bent over my bag, scrabbling around trying to locate my pen. The room fell quiet. The teacher had arrived and was clearing his throat.
"Good morning, everyone." I processed a familiar voice, but was still focussed on the contents of my bag. "Your a.s.signed tutor has, I"m afraid, been taken seriously ill over the summer holiday and I will now be teaching you over the next college year."
I finally found my pen and looked up to the front of the cla.s.s. When my eyes rested on the young man standing addressing the room, my breath froze in my throat.
"My name is Mr Balzac," he continued. "But please feel free to call me by my first name. Soren."
Black eyes found mine and a slow smile crept over his handsome angular face before he turned his attention elsewhere.
"Let"s begin by going round the room and introducing ourselves," he went on. He pointed at Tom, sitting in the far corner. "Let"s start with you ..."
The Art orientation cla.s.s lasted a very long forty-five minutes, during which I tried hard to focus on what I was there for and not cast dagger-like looks at Soren Balzac. I had to admit he seemed to know his stuff, he sounded convincing enough, so that part of his story was true. As to the rest of it, I didn"t care whether it was true or not. Now that I had got through most of this day and actually not disliked it, I decided I had no choice but to stop moping after the past. I tapped my pen on the desk as Soren wound up his coursework itinerary, every so often nudging studious-looking black-framed gla.s.ses further up his nose. My eyes rolled in a bored fashion.
"So," he concluded, "does anyone have a question they would like to ask? Has there been any confusion in what I have been telling you this afternoon?" He looked casually around the room. I waited for his gaze to arrive and settle on me, which it did.
"You." He pointed at me, then bent and pretended to study the list in front of him. "Jane ... Jonas? You look a little confused ... Is there something of concern to you?"
Stupid question, I thought, my eyes narrowing in response. I gave a barely perceptible shake of the head, as though dismissing him.
"Nothing?" His mouth widened into a broad grin. "I was mistaken then." His eyes lingered infuriatingly on me before he checked his watch.
"So ... I look forward to seeing you all again in a few weeks" time," Soren said to the room. "Please now make your way back to the school noticeboard, where your next orientation cla.s.s will be listed." He removed his gla.s.ses, placing them in a case, and started packing books inside a leather bag. The rest of the cla.s.s trailed out, and I waited until the last student had left the room before I stood, slung my bag over my shoulder and walked slowly to his desk.
"What do you think you"re doing?" I hissed as he put on his corduroy jacket. Looking at it, I gave a short derisory laugh. "Just because you"ve got the geeky jacket and gla.s.ses, Soren, you"re not going to fool anyone you"re an actual teacher. You"re nineteen, for heaven"s sake."
Soren merely looked amused. "Ah, that," he said. "Well, I am actually any age I choose to be ... Didn"t I tell you?"
"No. You didn"t tell me." I sighed. "But why I am surprised? It"s not like you"re a human being."
Soren pouted. "You"re cruel," he said. "I can a.s.sure you my emotions are very human indeed."
"Whatever," I said. "The point is, I want you to leave me alone."
"You don"t really mean that," he said. "I know, it looks strange, but really ... I don"t think you will be happy until you have resolved your situation." He paused. "I know I won"t. At the very least I want some ... closure."
"Does that exist?" I said. " I mean ..."
He stared at me for a minute and then his mouth twitched. "I like you, Jane," he said, smiling. "You"re impossible, but you have a little fire inside you."
I shrugged, though I couldn"t help feeling quite pleased by the remark.
"Which is why ..." he went on, more intently "... I know you will regret not doing everything you can to save what you love so much."
"I"ll meet someone else," I said, with a bravado I didn"t feel.
"But don"t you see? Luca believes he has an obligation ... This is not what he wants." Soren put his hands on my shoulders.
"And what about Lila?" I said. "She doesn"t seem to see it as an obligation."
Soren bit his lip. "Maybe not. But at least now I have a chance to win her back."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "So you need me more than I need you?"
"We need each other," he said calmly. "Without me you can never return to Nissilum."
He left me to think about that prospect, which was indeed hideous.
I leaned against the desk behind me, defeated. "Well, you"re certainly persistent. I mean how on earth did you find out my new phone number?"
"Oh that sort of stuff is easy," Soren said dismissively. "But impressive, I suppose. I thought it would be nice to keep in touch."
I stopped myself from smiling.
"OK," I said at last. "I will come with you once, but that"s it. I have no wish to be humiliated like that again. He was so ... He doesn"t want me any more."
"And how did that make you feel?" said Soren.
"Terrible. It felt like my heart was being ripped out."
"See ... you remember that strength of feeling. I know somewhere underneath his sense of responsibility, Luca feels exactly the same."
"He can"t." I felt my eyes welling up. "You should have seen his-"
"Jane. Boys do that. They make a decision and it is as though an iron shield comes down between their heart and their head," said Luca. "If you were more experienced, you would know this."
Soren"s plan seemed like such a long shot, but it was my only hope. If it didn"t work then ... I couldn"t bear to think of it not working.
"I"m about to start college," I said. "Luca is getting married in a matter of months. That"s all the time we have."
Soren nodded and picked up his leather bag. "I know ... And don"t be afraid. You are doing the right thing." He suddenly looked more genuine than I"d ever seen him. "I"ll be in touch."
As the door swung shut behind him I realised how fast my heart was beating.
Was I being incredibly stupid? Would this hurt me more in the end?
I didn"t know, but I was sure now that I would only regret it if I didn"t try.
CHAPTER SEVEN.
Henora held a swatch of grey silk up to Luca"s face.
"The colour is good," she said. "But you have grown in the past few months I see. You are broader." She smiled. "You look like your father."
Luca, embarra.s.sed by her scrutiny, made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "I want a plain suit," he told her. "Nothing ostentatious."
She shook her head. "It is important that you dress in the manner in which you wish to conduct your marriage," she told him. "With exuberance."
Luca sighed, allowing himself to be turned by Henora, who brandished a tape measure. "Yes," she went on, "your back is at least two inches wider than it was."
She took hold of his sleeve.
"Lila will be back with her family, now," she mused, bringing her tape measure to Luca"s arm. "I miss her about the place. She is a very mature girl." She sniffed. "Dalya could learn a thing or two from her indeed. That young lady is showing signs of rebellion too ..."
She paused, pointedly.
Luca rolled his eyes above her bent head. "Dalya is a good girl," he said loyally.
"Well ... you would think that," she said archly. "Right, I think I have the measure of you now." A small smile played about her lips.
"Good. Can I go now?" Luca felt ten years old again. "He disliked being fussed over. It would help if he could muster some enthusiasm for his forthcoming nuptials, but as the wedding date loomed, the reality of his future was weighing heavy on him.
"Luca." Henora"s voice was quiet but authoritative. "You will not let me down again. I am relying on you ..." She sighed. "Lowe and Dalya are relying on you." Her eyes swept over his face. "I am proud of you for what you did for Raphael. Truly ... But that other matter ... that girl. You have to tell yourself she doesn"t exist. Never existed. It can be done. It is down to your will. As a family we have built a reputation on our mental strength. Our ability to resist fickle temptation. It is the true test of character not to indulge selfish desire." She drew her shoulders back. "Do you understand me, Luca?"
In that moment Luca came close to hating his mother, but he hid his feelings, and instead nodded, looking away from her immediately.
"Good." Her demeanour softened. "And Lila is such an appropriate companion for you."
Appropriate. Luca realised what a tedious word that was. How joyless and cold.
"Yes, Henora," he said. "May I now leave?"
"Of course," she said, shooing him away. "Go and find your brother. He needs to be measured too."
Luca walked out through the gardens, whistling for his horse, Indigo, who cantered happily over to him. Mounting, he set off for the palace, where he was certain he would find his brother.
As he circled the field he deliberately didn"t look at the distant patch of trees across the acres of corn. He hadn"t been back to the Water Path since that day he had lain with Jane in his arms, both of them convinced that their struggles were over. How happy, how blissfully unaware they had been of what was waiting for them back at his home.
Luca dug his heels into Indigo"s flanks, urging her to speed up. He was trapped and there wasn"t a thing he could do about it. In time, he would learn to live without her ... But she would always be there at the back of his mind, just as she had been before he had even met her. He needed to be a man for his mother, he couldn"t betray his family.
As he raced towards the Palace"s back entrance, he allowed a single tear to roll. He would cry once, and then never again.
When Luca finally found his brother, Lowe was combing Raphael"s horse ... Raphael himself was laughing at something, trying to remove his riding boots. Luca slowed Indigo down to a trot, wishing to observe the two of them for a while before they noticed he was there.
Raphael looked almost back to his old self. His streaky blond curls framing his now handsome, honey-brown face. Luca was glad to see it despite what the boy had done to Jane and her family. It hadn"t been the real Raphael, he had been possessed by something quite evil.
But as Luca watched the boys together he felt uneasy at his brother"s recent closeness with Raphael. Lowe was suggestible at the best of times.
"Brother!" Lowe turned to see Luca approaching them. "Enjoying your last weeks of freedom?"
Luca ignored him, dismounting and nodding at Raphael in greeting.
"Henora is anxious for you to be fitted for your suit," he told Lowe, a little breathlessly. "She is in a determined mood today ... Don"t anger her."
"When do I ever?" Lowe said, accurately enough. "That"s your role, Luca ..." He paused. "Except now you are putting in such a good show with her. I am impressed. Bravo."
The dullness in his tone betrayed his contempt for his older brother, and wasn"t missed by either Luca or Raphael.
"Hold your tongue, Lowe," said Raphael, calmly. "You are a troublemaker." But his expression was thoughtful. He continued to stare at Lowe as though mulling something over.
"Luca is used to me," said Lowe, grinning now. "He knows I am always watching ... waiting."
"Perhaps you need to find yourself a girl?" Luca said a little wearily. "Something to distract you from my business ..."
"A girl like Lila," Lowe replied, a dreamy expression now on his face. "She would do me very nicely. Those smooth alabaster b.r.e.a.s.t.s-"
Instinctively Luca"s fingers snapped forward to give Lowe"s cheek an admonishing pinch. "Enough," he said sharply. "Do not disrespect her."