V"Aidan sat high above the ocean, perched on a small ledge that barely accommodated his long frame.
He"d come to this place as far back as he could remember. Ever since he"d been a young child back at the dawn of time.
It was here he"d come after his ritual beatings that had been designed to strip his feelings and compa.s.sion away. Here he"d rested, waiting for the pain of his existence to lessen until he could again find the numbness he was sworn to live by.
Here on his perch he could hear the roar of the waves and stare out at the vastness of the water and feel oddly at peace.
Only now that peace was gone. Shattered.
Something strange had happened to him when he had made love to Erin. It was as if he"d left a piece of himself with her.
Even now, he could sense her. If he closed his eyes, he could even tell what she was feeling.
Worse, he craved her in a way that was all-consuming. He wanted to be with her again, to feel her soothing touch on his skin. He"d never once known such gentleness existed, and now that he did...
"You broke a rule, didn"t you?"
He clenched his teeth at Wink"s voice above him. Looking up, he met two large inquisitive silver eyes that were fastened on him with interest.
Wink was the last G.o.d he wanted to see at the moment. The son of Nyx, the night G.o.ddess, and Erebus, the embodiment of primordial darkness, Wink was technically V"Aidan"s great-uncle and one of the oldest of the G.o.ds; however, he acted more like some prep.u.b.escent human. His youthful face was always beaming and bright and he wore his long brown hair braided down his back.
The most annoying thing about Wink was that he loved practical jokes and was forever making fun of the children of Myst.
"I did nothing."
"Oh, come on, "fess up, V. I heard your siblings talking about you. They said you took a human from them and vanished. Now, give me the dirt."
"Go away."
Wink smiled at that. "Then you did do something. Oooh, and it must be good, for you to be so secretive."
V"Aidan stared at the swirling ocean below. "Don"t you have something better to do? Like torment G.o.ds who can actually get irritated at you?"
Wink grinned even wider. "Sarcasm. Hmm, someone"s been around humans a long time."
V"Aidan didn"t respond.
He didn"t have to. Wink moved toward his shoulder and sniffed like a puppy with a pair of dirty socks.
Wink"s eyes widened as he pulled back. "You are irritated at me, aren"t you?"
"I can"t feel irritation and well you know it."It didn"t work. Wink came around to float by V"Aidan"s side, his eyes larger than saucers. He took V"Aidan"s chin in his hand and studied his eyes. "I can see emotions in there, swirling, mixing. You"re scared."
V"Aidan jerked his chin out of Wink"s grasp and pushed him away. "I most certainly am not. I fear nothing. I never have and I never will."
Wink arched a brow. "Such vehement denial. Your kind never feels such pa.s.sion when they speak, and yet you do."
V"Aidan looked away, his heart pounding. He felt the strangeness of panic in his chest. And he remembered a time once, aeons ago, when he"d been a child and he had dared ask the wrong question.
"Aphrodite, why can"t I have love ?"
The G.o.ddess had laughed at him. "You are the child of Myst, V"Aidan. She is formless, shapeless.
Vacuous. The best you can hope for is to feel fleeting, muted emotions, but love... love is solid, eternal, and beyond your understanding or abilities."
"Then why can I feel such pain?"
"Because it, like you, is a fleeting phantom. Like the great ocean it ebbs and flows, swelling to t.i.tanic proportions, then sweeping down into nothingness. It never lasts for long."
Over the centuries, he had learned the G.o.ddess was wrong about pain. It, too, was eternal. It never went away.
Not until he had held Erin.
Closing his eyes, he didn"t understand it. What had she done to him?
Wink poked him on the shoulder. "Come on, V, tell me why you are in such a state."
He looked up at his great-uncle. Trust of any kind was as alien to V"Aidan as love. Still, he needed Wink"s experience. Wink had been around longer and knew more than he did. Perhaps Wink could give him an insight. "If I tell you what happened, you must swear by the River Styx to tell no one. No one."
Wink nodded. "May Hades chain me in Tartarus, I swear by Styx to never utter a single word of what you tell me."
V"Aidan took a deep breath and braced himself for betrayal. "I had s.e.x with a mortal."
Wink arched a proud brow and smiled. "Nice, isn"t it?"
"Wink!"
"Well, it is. I highly recommend it." Wink paused speculatively. "Was it a man or woman?"
"A woman, of course. What kind of question is that?"
"A very nosy one and in keeping with my charming personality."
V"Aidan rolled his eyes. Now he understood what the other G.o.ds meant when they said Wink could be a major pain in the a.s.s.
"So," Wink continued, "was she any good?"
A wave of desire tore through V"Aidan, piercing his groin with heat at the very mention of her. Still, he refused to answer that question. It was personal and none of Wink"s business.
"Judging by the look on your face, I"ll take that as a yes."V"Aidan growled at his great-uncle and sought to change the subject. "Anyway, something happened."
"Something?"
"It changed me somehow."
Wink snorted. "That"s just stupid. If sleeping with a mortal changed a G.o.d, there"s no telling what I"d be now. As for Zeus... perish the thought."
V"Aidan ignored his words. The worst part of all was this incessant need he felt to see Erin again. To feel her hands on him.
He craved her tenderness.
Craved her warmth.
He had to have her.
"V"Aidan!"
Wink paled at the sound of Hypnos"s voice. Hypnos was the one G.o.d who held dominion over all the G.o.ds of sleep. Sooner or later, all of them answered to him.
"Uh-oh," Wink whispered. "He looks mad." Wink vanished, leaving V"Aidan alone to face the old G.o.d"s wrath.
V"Aidan looked up over his head to see the old man"s angry scowl. But since he"d never seen any other look on Hypnos"s face, he couldn"t judge it. "He looks the same to me."
"V"Aidan," Hypnos growled. "Don"t make me come down there to get you."
V"Aidan snorted in response. If Hypnos thought to scare him, he"d have to try something new. V"Aidan had learned a long time ago not to care.
Rising up to the cliffs above, he went to meet the G.o.d who made Skoti and Oneroi alike quiver in fear.
He alone could give them real emotion.
V"Aidan felt nothing as he approached the old man.
"You seduced a mortal in her sleep."
The accusation hung between them as V"Aidan stared at him.
"What have you to say for yourself?"
V"Aidan said nothing. What could he say? He had committed a forbidden act. Other G.o.ds could take humans as they wanted, but not his kind.
He wasn"t the first one of his kindred to violate that mandate. However, he wasn"t foolish enough to think for one minute Hypnos would be merciful toward him.
He wasn"t a favored son.
"You know our code," Hypnos said. "Why did you break it?"
Because I wanted to be held. Just once.
For one moment in eternity, I wanted to pretend someone cared.
The truth tore through him. Regardless of what Hypnos did to him as punishment, it had been worth it.
He would never forget that one precious moment when he"d held Erin in his arms and she had slept peacefully on top of him. Her breath tickling his chest, she had done something no one had ever done before. She had trusted him.
Her warmth had seeped into him, and for the first time since he"d been born, if not love, he had known tenderness. And it had been enough.
Hypnos looked at him as if he were disgusting. Vile. But then, V"Aidan was used to that, too.
"Take him," the old G.o.d said, shoving him into the hands of his punishers. "Strip the human taint from his flesh and make sure that he will never forget the pain of it."
CHAPTER 3
It was after midnight before Erin finally found the courage to go to sleep. She was terrified of what her dreams might bring and yet she wanted to see V"Aidan again.
How stupid was that?
He wasn"t real and there was no guarantee she"d ever have another dream with him in it.
Still, she wanted a small miracle.
Surrendering herself to the domain of Morpheus, she let her exhaustion take her.
Instead of the falling sensation she"d learned to expect from her dreams, she felt as if she were flying high above the world. For the first time in weeks, she had normal, happy dreams.
No one chased her. No one scared her.
It was heaven, except for the absence of one particular phantom lover.
Sighing in her sleep, Erin saw herself dressed in jeans and a tank top, sitting outside on the porch swing that used to hang on the patio at her Aunt Mae"s house. The day was perfect, bright and pleasantly warm with fragrant air laced with honeysuckle and pine. She"d spent so many youthful summers here on this farm in the California mountains.
How she had missed it.
"What is this place?"
She started at the deep, accented voice behind her.
Turning around, she saw V"Aidan leaning against the white porch railing, his hands braced on each side of him, watching her. His long black hair was tied back into a ponytail and those clear silver eyes were guarded. His black b.u.t.ton-down shirt only emphasized the perfect muscles of his body, and his jeans had holes in the knees.
For some reason she couldn"t fathom, he looked a bit pale and tired, his features pinched. Even so, she was glad he was here.
She smiled at him. "It"s one of my favorite places from childhood."
"What did you do here?"
She stood up and approached him, but he quickly moved away. "Is something wrong?"
V"Aidan shook his head. He shouldn"t be here. He should have stayed far away from her, and yet...
He couldn"t.