"Yes, I do. But I don"t have to give in to that attraction."
"Don"t you?" he asked, getting out of the car, suddenly flooding my head with the emotions he felt during our previous almost-s.e.x session. Hunger was uppermost in his emotions, but it wasn"t just a hunger for blood-it was a need for something to fill the gaping hole inside him. It was a silent plea for light to fill his darkness, for someone to take away the pain of utter loneliness, the hopelessness that seeped into every corner of his being.
He needed love.
He needed me.
"OK," I said, dropping all objections as I leaped out of the car. We made it to the door of my apartment before I gave in to temptation and flung myself at him, kissing the breath right out of his mouth.
"You"re good for someone who hasn"t had a lot of practice," he admitted three minutes later, when I retrieved my tongue and broke off the kiss long enough to get the door to the apartment unlocked.
"I"m inspired by the subject," I told him before racing to the bedroom. I yanked off my jacket en route, simultaneously beating back the shrubberies in my room and hopping on one foot while trying to pull off my shoe. Without thinking, I yanked open the blinds to let the sunshine in, stopping for a moment to soak up the wonderfully warm rays before turning to see what was keeping Paen.
He was pinned up against the door, his shirt in one hand, the sunshine lapping at his shoes.
"Oh. Sorry about that. It"s instinctive," I said as I angled the blinds to limit the sun to an area directly in front of the window.
"So I gathered," he answered, whapping at a narrow-leafed Australian Tree Fern that was infringing on his personal s.p.a.ce.
I got both shoes and socks removed, and peeled off my jeans, standing for a moment with them in my hand, the sun warming my back as I looked at Paen. There was a lot of him to look at, too, what with that glorious bare chest right there for me to ogle. I gave in and had a good ogle, then managed to get my mind back to the question uppermost. "Foreplay or no?"
He stopped mid-unzipping. "Pardon?"
"Are you going to get naked now? Or just torment me with that chest first, driving me to a frenzy of l.u.s.t-crazed wantonness that will make me rip the rest of your clothes off?"
He looked down at his chest. "You want to rip my clothes off just by looking at my chest?"
"Very much so."
"It"s just a chest. Skin and hair."
"Oh, I beg to differ." I tossed aside my jeans and walked over to where he stood in a shady patch, stroking my hand down his chest from his clavicle to his sternum, following the lovely, sleek trail of hair that led straight down his belly and disappeared into his pants. "This is not just skin and hair. This is no mere chest. It"s chest deluxe. Chest supreme."
He gave me an odd look, a mixture of disbelief and amus.e.m.e.nt. "You"re a strange woman."
"So it"s said. I know a good thing when I see it, however," I said, pulling my hand back with an effort. "So, did you want to dally with a bit of foreplay, or just go straight for the meat-and-potatoes thing?"
He dropped his pants. "What do you think?"
"Whoa! You"ve been antic.i.p.ating," I said, admiring the view as I backed up a few steps. I pulled off my sweater and dropped it onto the chair so I stood in the sunlight clad in nothing but my underwear and bra. "OK. I"m good with that. Investigating to do, people to see... and evidently, p.e.n.i.ses to ride. Do you like oral s.e.x?"
"Do you always talk so much during lovemaking?" he asked, an odd look on his face.
"Not normally."
He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Are you still nervous?"
"Maybe a little. In case you haven"t noticed, I tend to blabber when I"m nervous."
I"ve never met anyone like you before, Paen thought. I don"t think he intended me to hear him, but I grinned anyway as I did a sinuous little dance in the sunshine while slowly removing my bra.
Good. This"ll be new territory for us both. Kind of puts us on equal footing.
"Is equal footing that important to you?" he asked, taking an aborted step forward, stopping because his toes. .h.i.t the pool of sunlight that surrounded me.
"You hack your way through the foliage and I"ll meet you at the bed," I told him, giving in to the energy that flowed through me from the sunlight. I"m not very adept at dancing, or singing for that matter, but put me in the sun and I feel an indescribable rhythm, kind of like those solar-powered, highly annoying desk toys that weave and bob endlessly until you throw them against the wall or dump them in a dark closet.
"You"re going to dance now?" Paen asked, having fought his way through the plants to the bedside. He was watching with interest as I slipped one side of my bra down in a sunny parody of a striptease. "Not that I mind. You"re very graceful. And I enjoy looking at your b.r.e.a.s.t.s. As well as the rest of you."
I did a few slow-motion hip moves as I shimmied out of my bra, turning to slide my hands down my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, along my hips, to the lace bits of my underwear. "I don"t normally do this in front of people, but the sunshine makes it hard for me to stand still."
"Take your time. I"m enjoying the show."
I smiled coyly over my shoulder at him and skinnied my way out of my undies, tossing them over my head like they were a bridal bouquet.
"Do I get to keep them?" Paen asked when I turned around. He held my underwear in one hand.
"If you really want, you can. Or you can keep me, instead," I said, slinking my way over to him.
"Hmm." His thumb rubbed over the satin of the underwear. "They"re warm, silky, and very feminine."
I smiled as he tossed them aside and pulled me up against his chest. His body was hard and unyielding as I rubbed myself against him, my soft, smooshy parts very different from his solid, flat lines."But you"re warmer, silkier, and infinitely more feminine. I choose you instead."
"Sounds good to me. Oh, wait..."
I slipped away from him to dig a packet out from under my pillow. "Now or later?" I asked, holding it up.
"Might as well be now. I don"t think I"ll be able to stop once I get started," he answered.
I had to remember for a moment how to breathe at the promise that showed in his eyes, but got the condom on him in record time, and flung myself against him to enjoy the tactile experience of his flesh against mine. "Oooh! Man alive, it"s going to be all over for me if you"re going to do that!" My legs went boneless as he nipped the top of my ear with his sharp canines.
"There"s not a large enough supply of blood for me to drink from this spot," he murmured, his tongue licking away the sting.
I almost came right then and there.
"Dear G.o.d in heaven, don"t do that!" I yelled, jumping backward, the backs of my knees. .h.i.tting the bed so that I went sprawling across it.
"Enough earplay?" he asked, looking down at me.
My body quivered. All of it, every last single inch of it, quivered and twitched and tingled at the look in his bright eyes, so light they all but burned my flesh. "I don"t think I can take any more eargasms right now. I really want to experience the regular kind, if you don"t mind."
"Very well. Perhaps you would prefer this, then," he said, kneeling next to the bed, spreading my legs so he was positioned between them.
"Oh, man," I said on a half gasp as he rubbed his cheeks on my inner thighs. One minute I was me, Sam, a half-elf private detective with a secret addiction to greasy hamburgers, and the next I was a shining orb of rapture, as bright as Paen"s eyes, my whole body attuned to every move his mouth made against me. He nibbled, he touched, he probed, his tongue swirled a tango of delight against sensitive parts that suddenly roared to life with a demand to be taken to heaven and back. Without conscious thought, I opened my mind to Paen and shared it with him, shared the ecstasy and euphoria and glory that was his mouth on my tingling parts. He adjusted his angle of attack, and sent me flying... right out of my body.
"Dammit, no! NO! NOT NOW! Aaaaaaaaargh!" I all but sobbed as my conscious being parted with my body, and started drifting around the bedroom, at the mercy of the dancing motes of light. "G.o.d d.a.m.n it! d.a.m.n d.a.m.n d.a.m.n!" Paen, help me!
The scene below me was arousing, enticing, s.e.xy as h.e.l.l... and I wasn"t there to experience the joy I knew Paen was bringing to my body.
Why is this happening? Why isn"t it different with you? Why? I wailed.
Come back to me, Sam. Share this with me. Feel what I feel.
Before the words finished rolling around my head I was back in my body, just in time for the glorious Technicolor o.r.g.a.s.m that swept over me. I screamed his name as he slid up my body, the pleasure he felt as his teeth sank deep into my breast almost as great as the pleasure he"d just given me.
Our minds merged, his exhilaration feeding mine until it spiraled into something more profound than anything I"d ever felt, a feeling that doubled, trebled as he moved against me, thrusting hard into me as he released my breast to bite hard on my shoulder. Pain flared bright for a moment, then dissolved into rhapsody, so mind-numblingly overwhelming that I could do nothing more than clutch his back as his body moved against mine, the sensations of him moving hard and deep inside me joining with the sensations he felt as he both gave and took life.
It was the experience of a lifetime, and one that seared itself onto my soul as he took me to another o.r.g.a.s.m, one that triggered his own, the echoes of both rolling around our joined minds, the light from the being we made together filling every corner of darkness within him, bursting out until we were the light.
That was... dear G.o.d, are you still breathing?... that was the most amazing thing I"ve ever felt. It defies description. It was so astounding, I want to dance and sing and cry with the beauty of it. Paen-you"re absolutely amazing. You pulled me back when I had left! Twice! No one has ever done that even once! I think I may faint. Or do a backflip. I can"t decide which.
Paen lifted his head from where it had been nestled against my neck, his back covered in a sheen of sweat, his dark curls tousled, his eyes fading from brilliant, blinding silver to a rich grey. "I told you so," was all he said, a smile curling his lips.
I laughed as he kissed me, a kiss so tender it brought tears to my eyes.
"Smugness ill becomes you," I said as he rolled off me to lie next to me on the bed. He peeled off the condom and tossed it into the elephant-foot trash can before collapsing, exhausted. "Besides, I know you felt the same thing I did, so don"t be pretending it was just another day at the office. Ow. Are you OK?"
Paen looked down at himself as I stroked a hand down his chest. The whole front of his torso, from groin to collarbone, was bright red.
"You look like you"re sunburned or something. Does it hurt?"
He touched a red spot on his stomach, looked at his hand for a moment, then narrowed his eyes as he reached out and cupped one of my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"Um," I said, a little ripple of happiness sweeping through me.
He pulled his hand back and showed it to me. His palm was beet red. "It"s you."
"Me?" I asked, looking at my breast. "I"m turning you red?"
"You"re giving me a sunburn. I can feel the sunlight in you when I touch you."
"Well, how do you like that? I didn"t do this to you before. It must be because I got all charged up in the sun." I pressed my hand for a couple of seconds to a non-burned spot on his side. When I removed my hand, a faint pinkish image of my palm remained.
"Whoops. Sorry about that. Does it hurt?"
"No," Paen said, lying back, his eyes closed. I could feel him concentrating, focusing his mind. As I watched, the redness washed away on his chest and stomach, as if someone was wiping it off. Only his p.e.n.i.s remained startlingly red as it rested against his thigh.
"Wow, it even went through the condom. You can heal yourself, too, huh? Not going to do that as well?" I asked, looking at it.
It twitched. "No. Stop looking at it."
"Why?" I couldn"t stop myself. It was fascinating how just looking made it start to stiffen up again.
"Because I don"t have the energy to make love to you again right now. Not if you want me to be of any other practical use to you today."
I smiled at his p.e.n.i.s and gave it a quick pat that I hoped wouldn"t scorch it any further, and rolled onto my side so I was lying close to Paen, but not actually touching. "That"s OK, I"m still recovering as well. That was the most amazing, most sensual, most... profound experience of my life. I had no idea it was possible to take intimacy past the physical level and into the spiritual. I feel as if I"m seeing you for the first time, Paen. And I"ll always be grateful to you for making my first real time so absolutely, mind-numbingly wondrous. Is s.e.x always like that?"
"No," he said abruptly, changing the subject. "I wish to meet Owen Race. Get dressed and let"s go see him."
I sighed. "So much for pillow talk, eh?"
Chapter 10.
"So, about this whole Beloved business-I"m a bit confused. What exactly is she other than someone who gets your soul out of hock?"
"It"s not important."
Paen sounded downright grumpy. He looked even grumpier, having insisted on driving to my office since I refused to take him out to meet Owen without making sure it wasn"t going to cause problems. Now we were smack-dab in the afternoon commute traffic, stuck in an impossibly slow line of cars that inched its way past a three-car accident that managed to block traffic in both directions.
"Look, it"s going to take at least half an hour to get to the office-we can sit here in silence, fuming about the traffic, or we can chat. I vote chat."
Paen looked like he wanted to argue, but evidently he realized the truth of what I said, because he relaxed his death grip on the steering wheel and said, "I don"t mind talking, but there are many other subjects of conversation other than Beloveds."
"Yeah, but none that you try to avoid so hard."
He shot me a look. "You"re not going to let this go, are you?"
"Nope." I smiled. "I"m known for my persistence. It"s why Jake thought I"d be a good private investigator. So you might as well give in to the inevitable and tell me what I want to know."
"You"re the most stubborn woman of my acquaintance."
"I know. It"s one of my charms. About the Beloved?"
He sighed and gave in. "A Beloved is more than just a soul-saver. She becomes a Dark One"s life, the sole focus of his attention." He gave a little disgusted snort. "In other words, he becomes a shallow parody of what he used to be."
"I don"t think that"s very fair of you to say. I personally think it"s really romantic that a man would love a woman so much that he"d devote his life to her."
"That"s because you"re a woman," Paen said, scowling in the side mirror at a bike messenger who smacked the side of the car as he pa.s.sed. "The relationship between Dark One and Beloved is totally one-sided; she redeems his soul, binding it to her for eternity. There"s no reciprocal binding, just him bound to her. If she dies, he fades away to nothing, but a Beloved can live on forever without her Dark One."
"I find it hard to believe that anyone who goes to the trouble of fetching a soul for someone else wouldn"t feel some sort of affection for that person. So I"m sure it"s not quite as one-sided as you make out."
"You don"t know anything about it," he said with a touch of churlishness that I found oddly endearing. I was beginning to suspect that Paen was arguing to convince himself rather than me.
"No, I don"t. Why don"t you tell me more about it?"
He shot me a wary look. "Why do you want to know about Beloveds?"
"Oh, I don"t know. Partly curiosity. Partly because I like you and I"m interested in your history, and what makes you tick."
His eyes lost their guarded appearance.