Darkling.

"I don"t know-" Chase said, pulling out his badge. He stood back as the men burst through the doors. They skidded to a halt when they saw him.

"Sharah!" Yugi said, his face draining of color. "Detective, is she okay?"

"No. We need to get her to Medical right away. Be careful. There are vamps on the loose and they aren"t the friendly kind," Chase said, pushing through them and motioning for us to follow him.

"Should we head down there?" Yugi asked, motioning to the stairs.

I interrupted before Chase could say a word. "Do and you put your lives in danger. Seal off this door for now and call in your reserves. This building"s going to need a thorough search. You have to be prepared in case the newborns return. The fire exit downstairs is broken and the wires cut. And why the h.e.l.l didn"t you hear the magic detector go off? Chase shot the d.a.m.ned thing and n.o.body even bothered to come check what was happening. What are you guys running? A Burger Bonzo"s or a high-tech crime unit?"

I didn"t wait for an answer, but swept past them, following Chase and Delilah, who was cradling the still-bleeding Sharah in her arms. The scent of her blood was driving me crazy, but I"d managed to keep myself under control. I glanced over at Wade. He caught my stare and nodded, almost imperceptibly, and I knew that he, too, was fighting his basic nature.

At the door of the medic lab, Roz and Trillian went in and scoped it out. Trillian popped his head out. "Get her in here."

"Menolly, Wade, why don"t you two wait outside the doors? Keep an eye on things?" Roz said.

A shiver ran down my back. He knew. He knew that this was torture, to hunt and chase, then smell the blood and not be able to touch.

"Thank you," I said softly, and he stepped to the side as everyone else entered the room. He took my hands in his.

"I know. I know... for me it"s a different thirst, but I understand," he murmured. He suddenly caught me in his arms and pressed his lips against mine. I let out a short gasp as the fire of his kiss ricocheted through my body. Floundering in the waves of sensuality that rolled off of him, I felt like I wanted to drown, to dive into his depths and never surface.

Roz lightly cupped my chin. "If you need me, for anything anything, you have only to ask. I understand the nature of the chase. I can relieve your stress in ways you can only fantasize." And then, without a word to Wade, he turned and returned to the medic lab.

I leaned against the wall, trying to calm the quivering flames that had flared to life in my stomach. Wade silently crossed to my side. He didn"t touch me, but merely stood near, a comforting anchor in the sea of desire that was screaming through every fiber of my being.

"So much... too much," I said, feeling like I might break into brittle shards if one more thing happened before daylight.

"Take a breath. Focus on releasing your hunger," he said.

So I breathed. My lungs didn"t need the air, but I needed the ritual, the pattern, the drill. I breathed through my mouth so I wouldn"t smell the blood, or Roz"s heat that still radiated on my face. I breathed to calm the hunger, to calm the thirst, to subdue the fire that rose darkly within me. I breathed to remind myself that even though I"d left life behind, I was still a sentient creature who had options, who could choose to follow a strict path in which the blood and pa.s.sion only came through consent, not through the ravaging of the innocent.

And when I"d lost count of the breaths, I stopped and raised my head. "I am Menolly D"Artigo," I said. "I am the daughter of a Guardsman. I am half Fae, half-human. And I am a vampire who chooses to walk the tightrope, who walks in shadows even while I remember what it was to dance under the light. I am in control. Not my nature and not the predator within. I make the choices."

The litany that the OIA had taught me still served me well. I looked over at Wade, who gave me a thin smile.

"I"m back," I said. But somewhere, deep inside, I could hear a dark laughter as the words for now for now echoed in my mind. And for once, I longed for the hint of first light to pull me into my dreams where I had the chance to escape, to forget, to erase the constant battle that raged in my heart. echoed in my mind. And for once, I longed for the hint of first light to pull me into my dreams where I had the chance to escape, to forget, to erase the constant battle that raged in my heart.

CHAPTER 11.

On the way home, we knew two things: Sharah would live, and the alarms on the magic detection system didn"t reach the guys topside because somebody had thrown a dampening spell on them. In the hallway, on the steps, they sounded. Behind the doors to the main room, they didn"t make a sound.

Everybody was exhausted, except me, and even I was emotionally drained. We were missing a friend captured by Dredge and his crew, and we faced at least eight rogue vamps running through the streets, one of them a cute teenage boy who would probably start right in feeding off the high school girls. A gruesome thought, but all too real.

Roz had declined to join us. "I"ll see if I can track anything down," he said. "I don"t have to sleep much. I can scout around while you get some rest."

Still not sure what to think about him, I accepted his help gratefully. He"d proven himself so far, and while that didn"t necessarily mean s.h.i.t in a cow barn, it did give me hope that maybe he was on the up and up.

Wade had taken off for his nest and Delilah said she"d drive Chase to his apartment before heading for home. Trillian rode back with me. He scowled the entire way.

"What"s eating you?" I said as we sped along the highway.

"Camille"s totally freaked out about Erin. She was telling me that it"s all her fault. That she should never have befriended a human because the potential for collateral damage is too great, considering Shadow Wing and his posse." He glared out the window. "I don"t like it when she"s unhappy."

"I don"t like it either. Pretty soon the "collateral damage" is going to skyrocket if those demons break through. But if Dredge wasn"t out to get me, then there would be somebody else threatening us. Camille should be proud she"s here, helping out. If we hadn"t stopped Bad a.s.s Luke, he might have opened the way for Shadow Wing. She"s the one who figured out what his weakness was." I skirted a slow moving car and turned up the music.

Trillian grunted. "You and I know that, but I think Camille"s just worn out. For all her bravado, she"s devastated over the events of the past few months. And she"s worried about your father and aunt."

A little exasperated, I said, "Well, so is Delilah. Probably more than Camille. And so am I, for that matter. I just keep my worries hidden better." I stared at the road as my wheels ate up the pavement, grinding it beneath the Jag. "We"re in this together. There"s no way out and we have to just get used to it."

"You have no friends," Trillian said with a snort. "How can you understand what Camille"s feeling? If that s.a.d.i.s.t kills Erin, Camille will never forgive herself."

"She"d better learn," I said gruffly. "I have to forgive myself for my actions every day. The longer we"re at war with Shadow Wing, the more the casualty rate will skyrocket. The demons will become more aggressive and we"ll have to do the same. We aren"t playing hopscotch here. Yeah, it sucks, but we"re talking reality."

Even as the acerbic words left my mouth, I regretted them. I wasn"t hardhearted, not really, but I sounded like a total b.i.t.c.h. No wonder Trillian looked down his nose at me. I expected him to make some cutting reply, but he simply turned his face to the window.

After a moment, he said, "You"re right, of course. I understand that. I"ve seen the face of battle all too frequently. And I see it every time I travel home to OW. But Camille and Delilah... They aren"t used to all this death and carnage."

"I am," I said softly. "I wish I wasn"t, but I am."

"You live with the taste of blood in your mouth. I live with the stain of blood on my hands. We accept it as part of our lives. But those two... they"re just starting to find their places in the shadow realm. Delilah"s been drafted as a Death Maiden. Camille"s taking lessons in death magic from that wolf boy yakuza."

"Knock it off. I"m not impressed. Morio"s a youkai, not a member of the yakuza," I said, automatically stepping into Camille"s role. But even as I spoke, it struck me that, as hedonistic and self-centered of a manipulator as he was, Trillian really did care.

"Don"t flatter yourself, O Fanged One. Impressing you is a low priority on my list." Trillian shook his head. "Aren"t you hearing anything I"m saying?"

I rolled my eyes. "You made your point. Is there anything I can do to help them out that I haven"t thought of?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. All we can do is offer support and help them adjust. All of the realms are beautiful, but true to nature, there"s more terror in the world than joy. And sometimes the two are enmeshed." He looked straight at me. "Like you. You with your b.l.o.o.d.y bites and your pa.s.sionate kisses. You can charm the life out of a man and leave him happy to die. You"re no less a demon than the creatures we"re fighting, but you"ve chosen to remain true to your ethics."

And with that backhanded compliment, we pulled into the driveway. I didn"t bother to answer. He was right, as much as it pained me to admit it. Everything he said was spot on, and I couldn"t deny it.

Camille and Morio were sitting in the middle of the living room when we walked through the door. Camille was cross-legged on the floor, a blindfold around her eyes, her wrists bound with silver chains. Morio was kneeling behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. His hair, silky smooth and flowing to his shoulder blades, reflected the light in its blue-black brilliance. He wore a loose blue and white kimono over simple muslin pants. Camille was dressed in an indigo robe that barely covered her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. One of Erin"s flannel shirts lay draped across her lap. The music was loud, a throbbing world beat, and Morio was whispering in her ear.

I took one look at the mists that swirled around them and headed for the kitchen. Considering Camille"s faulty wiring, and the fact that they"d been delving into death magic, I didn"t think it wise to stay in the same room while they were in the middle of conjuring.

Trillian followed me after a grudging glance their way. Delilah sat at the table with Tim and Nerissa, drinking hot cocoa. Iris was making a late-night snack, and Maggie was playing in her playpen. Everything seemed so peaceful, that I longed to believe the illusion that it was a normal night with nothing amiss.

I slid into the chair beside Nerissa, who flashed me a troubled smile. "Delilah told us what happened," she said.

Iris shook her head. "There are too many variables to this situation. You need help. You must to go to Aladril tomorrow night and seek out that seer."

"I agree," I said. "But we"re going to pay h.e.l.l getting Camille to leave now that Erin"s missing."

Tim whirled on me. "Iris told me about Dredge. Erin"s as good as dead, isn"t she?"

d.a.m.n it. I flashed her an irritated look, and she shrugged in return. No doubt Tim had pressed her into telling him what she knew. But what he was thinking couldn"t be as bad as the reality.

"I don"t know for sure, but if we don"t find her soon, then yes. Dredge will kill her." I didn"t mention torture. Why bother?

"First light is coming, Menolly," Iris said.

"I know, I can feel it." And I could. The slow gentle draw into unconsciousness was tapping at my shoulder. Not long before I"d have to withdraw to sleep. And, if I was lucky, I wouldn"t dream. I glanced at the clock. An hour left, at most. "Nerissa, come with me?"

We headed into the parlor from the back way so as not to disturb Camille and Morio. As I closed the door behind me, I said, "Do you want Delilah to drive you home?"

"Now?" she asked, sounding surprised.

Thoughts of Camille"s fears echoed through my mind. "Nerissa, our enemies are far more dangerous than you know. You could get hurt if you stick around here. If you get involved with... us... me."

She slowly closed the gap between us and gently raised her hands to cup my face. "I know that. I knew that before I made up my mind that I wanted to be with you. I"m not asking for a lifetime. I"m not asking for any commitments. I just want to be here, right now, tonight."

I searched her eyes, looking up at her. Roz"s kiss had burned like fire, almost frightening me, but Nerissa"s lips looked warm and inviting, lush and filled with unspoken promises. I thought of what we had to lose if I said no, and slowly reached up on tiptoe to press my lips against hers.

She slid her arms around me, pulling me close, her tongue parting my lips as she explored, searching. I let out a shudder as her hand slid under my shirt, and then jumped away.

"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" A look of disappointment washed over her face.

"I have to tell you something first." Every scar on my body tingled. "My body is covered with scars. And I mean covered covered!" I looked away. "No one has touched me in... that way... since Dredge finished with me and turned me into a vampire. My sisters think I slept with Wade but the truth is we never reached that point. I"ve never slept with a human or an Earthside Supe. I don"t know what to expect."

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked. "Be honest; it"s all right if you say no. I"ll be disappointed, but I"m a big girl. I can take rejection."

I shook my head. "It"s not that. Just... see, I don"t know if I can control myself once you take your clothes off. I had a bad experience at a strip club last summer when Camille got the bright idea we should soak up some of the culture here. There"s so much I don"t know about that part of myself..." I stopped as she brushed one finger against my mouth.

"Shush," she said. "You don"t have to worry about me. I"ll be okay. I partnered with Venus the Moon Child. He trained me well."

I blinked, staring at her. "What does that have to do with it?"

Her lip quivered into a smile that lurked between a grin and a leer. "Venus taught me how to master my fear and give in to pa.s.sion. He taught me how to heal old wounds of the heart and psyche with s.e.x."

Nerissa gave me a gamine smile, but behind that winsome face and proper reserve, I sensed a wild and free spirit. I swallowed my worry and slowly removed my shirt, waiting to see myself reflected in her eyes.

"This is who I am. If you want me, take me. It"s all up to you," I said, feeling stripped bare before her.

Her gaze landed on my stomach and trailed up my chest, lingering on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, then up my throat, finally locking with my eyes. She didn"t flinch, didn"t turn away from the hundreds of white lacerations that signified Dredge"s psychotic attentions.

"He did this to you? This Dredge?" she asked after a moment, her voice almost a growl.

I slipped out of my boots and jeans in answer, to show her that the scars continued down my body. My hands, feet, and face were the only places he"d left pristine, untouched by those dagger sharp nails of his. I had no pubic hair; he"d shaved that, and written his name in a coiling scar on the curve of my mound. "I own you," he"d said as he slashed into my flesh. "Body and soul, I claim you and sire you."

Nerissa undressed and tossed her jeans and shirt to the side. She was glorious, with swelling b.r.e.a.s.t.s and a golden thatch of hair that nestled around her sacred s.e.x. A Viking warrior, when she shook her hair loose of the chignon and it fell to her shoulders she radiated an energy that I couldn"t define.

I wanted to reach out but I was still afraid. Would I hurt her? Would I snap, go into an uncontrollable frenzy when I smelled her perfume, felt her heart beating under my fingers? I was about to turn away when she suddenly covered the distance between us and pulled me into her arms, pressing her mouth against mine. Her lips tasted like sweet honey wine, and I stopped resisting, wanting the kiss to go on and on and on.

"You"re beautiful," she whispered, coming up for air, staring into my eyes. And the look in her eyes told me she meant it. She dipped her head again and I let her lead me to the sofa and pull me down on the thick plush rug in front of it. Her lips worked their way down my neck and a small cry ripped from my throat as their sweet touch trailed over my shoulder and to my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

Kissing my scars, she murmured something that sounded like, "We"ll kill him, honey. Don"t worry, we"ll kill him," and then she caught one of my nipples between her teeth and tugged ever so slightly.

Waves of thirst grew in my belly and my fangs began to extend but I forced them to retreat as I reveled in Nerissa"s attention. She sucked gently, then harder, and I closed my eyes, letting myself float on the sensations that worked their way up my body. A cloud rising in the brilliant sky, golden sunbeams glistening down on my hair, my face, that was my Nerissa.

Her kisses warmed me for the first time in years and as the lazy pull of first light began to drag me down into lethargic slumber, she parted my legs, gazing down at my s.e.x. The thought of Dredge"s name there made me try to pull my legs together, to hide what he"d done to me, but Nerissa gently pried them open again and leaned down to kiss the taint he"d left behind.

"He may have left his name, but he"ll never touch you again," she whispered, brushing one finger over the ridged skin as tears welled up in her eyes. She let them fall, then carefully scooped up the sparkling diamonds with one finger and bathed me in them. "With my tears, I reclaim you for yourself. With the salt, I purge him from your body."

A ripple ran through me, whether it was her words or her touch or some strange magic she"d learned from Venus the Moon Child, I didn"t know, but as she rested her lips on me, I tumbled into flame and fire. A wracking thirst welled up, a thundering desire to drink deep from the well of her life. I reared up, eyes blazing, fangs extended, unable to stop myself.

Nerissa didn"t jump or jerk away. Instead she rested one hand on my shoulder and shook her head. "No, Menolly. Just let yourself drift."

Her lack of fear echoed through my ruby-drenched sight, and I fought for focus, fought my inclination to sink my teeth deep into her neck in a blissful communion. Nerissa pushed me back to the rug, leaning over me. Her lips moved lower on my stomach, leaving a cascade of kisses in their wake.

And then she was there, pressed against me, her tongue swirling a pattern of pa.s.sion that drove all thoughts out of my mind, leaving only the wave on which I was riding. I stubbornly tried to cling to my fear-if I let go, would I lash out and overpower her? Would I tear her throat open? But the steady lapping of her sandpaper tongue broke through my barriers. I fell, tumbling into a different abyss, this one filled with a lush garden, a rain forest of delight instead of the ever-present bloodl.u.s.t that ruled my life. With a sharp cry, I gave myself up to her and let the release swallow me whole.

Silence. Peace. And then Nerissa sat up and stretched, lazily glancing at the clock. "It"s almost first light. You"d better go to bed before morning hits."

I blinked. "What about you, though? Aren"t you..."

She grinned, daintily wiping her mouth. "Don"t worry about me. I have my ways. Now go. I"ll be a phone call away. I have to go back to the compound. I know you have plans tonight, but call me later, when things calm down. If you"d like." Her smile was infectious and I found myself grinning back, giddy for the first time that I could remember in a long, long while.

"I"ll call, Nerissa," I said, hesitating. Then, heedless of what it might mean, I plunged on. "You"re incredible. You"re beautiful and you"re fearless. I never knew..."

She shrugged into her clothes and gave me a quick kiss. "Menolly, I"m not fearless. I"m just aware of what world you live in. Venus the Moon Child walks under the shadow of death. He taught me to look it in the face and find the beauty within all of its aspects. And he taught me how to return from the abyss." And with that, she scurried out of the room.

I watched her retreating back, thinking I should say something, but then she was gone. Anyway, no matter what I said now, it would be anticlimatic. Whatever this thing between us was meant to be, it would grow at its own pace.

With a last glance at the curtained windows, which were starting to show the overcast glimmer of morning, I slid into my jeans and top and hurried into the living room. Everyone was getting ready to crash. Trillian, Morio, and Camille were about to head upstairs, and Tim had fallen asleep in the rocking chair.

Iris wandered in. "The kitchen"s clear," she said as Camille said good night. "Delilah"s driving Nerissa home." She gave me an expectant look and I just smiled. As I pa.s.sed her to head down to my lair, she whispered. "Good for you, Menolly. But be careful. There are so many complications."

"I know," I said softly. "I know." And I did. But I wasn"t willing to walk away. What I"d told Trillian was the truth: collateral damage was going to happen, like it or not. And it seemed a crime to walk away from friendship and love, the things that make life worth living-even for those of us long past life. Wondering if I"d regret my choice, I stopped to give Maggie a gentle kiss on the forehead, then headed downstairs for the night.

Camille woke me just past dusk. "Menolly, we have to go if we"re heading to Aladril."

I sat up, blinking. My dreams had been filled with pa.s.sion and the vision of a golden G.o.ddess, a fiery mane of sun-kissed hair trailing down my skin. A nice change from the usual.