She gave me a look of mere grat.i.tude. "Ah, thank you for that!" says she.
"You thank me for very little," said I, and then stopped. But it seemed when I was holding back so much, something at least had to come out. "I spoke rather ill to him," said I; "I did not like him very much; I spoke him rather ill, and he was angry."
"I think you had little to do then, and less to tell it to his daughter!" she cried out. "But those that do not love and cherish him I will not know."
"I will take the freedom of a word yet," said I, beginning to tremble.
"Perhaps neither your father nor I are in the best of good spirits at Prestongrange"s. I daresay we both have anxious business there, for it"s a dangerous house. I was sorry for him too, and spoke to him the first, if I could but have spoken the wiser. And for one thing, in my opinion, you will soon find that his affairs are mending."
"It will not be through your friendship, I am thinking," said she; "and he is much made up to you for your sorrow."
"Miss Drummond," cried I, "I am alone in this world...."
"And I am not wondering at that," said she.
"O, let me speak!" said I. "I will speak but the once, and then leave you, if you will, for ever. I came this day in the hopes of a kind word that I am sore in want of. I know that what I said must hurt you, and I knew it then. It would have been easy to have spoken smooth, easy to lie to you; can you not think how I was tempted to the same? Cannot you see the truth of my heart shine out?"
"I think here is a great deal of work, Mr. Balfour," said she. "I think we will have met but the once, and will can part like gentle-folk."
"O, let me have one to believe in me!" I pleaded, "I cannae bear it else. The whole world is clanned against me. How am I to go through with my dreadful fate? If there"s to be none to believe in me I cannot do it.
The man must just die, for I cannot do it."
She had still looked straight in front of her, head in air; but at my words or the tone of my voice she came to a stop. "What is this you say?" she asked. "What are you talking of?"
"It is my testimony which may save an innocent life," said I, "and they will not suffer me to bear it. What would you do yourself? You know what this is, whose father lies in danger. Would you desert the poor soul?
They have tried all ways with me. They have sought to bribe me; they offered me hills and valleys. And to-day that sleuth-hound told me how I stood, and to what a length he would go to butcher and disgrace me. I am to be brought in a party to the murder; I am to have held Glenure in talk for money and old clothes; I am to be killed and shamed. If this is the way I am to fall, and me scarce a man--if this is the story to be told of me in all Scotland--if you are to believe it too, and my name is to be nothing but a by-word--Catriona, how can I go through with it? The thing"s not possible; it"s more than a man has in his heart."
I poured my words out in a whirl, one upon the other; and when I stopped I found her gazing on me with a startled face.
"Glenure! It is the Appin murder," she said softly, but with a very deep surprise.
I had turned back to bear her company, and we were now come near the head of the brae above Dean village. At this word I stepped in front of her like one suddenly distracted.
"For G.o.d"s sake!" I cried, "for G.o.d"s sake, what is this that I have done?" and carried my fists to my temples. "What made me do it? Sure, I am bewitched to say these things!"
"In the name of heaven, what ails you now?" she cried.
"I gave my honour," I groaned, "I gave my honour and now I have broke it. O, Catriona!"
"I am asking you what it is," she said; "was it these things you should not have spoken? And do you think _I_ have no honour, then? or that I am one that would betray a friend? I hold up my right hand to you and swear."
"O, I knew you would be true!" said I. "It"s me--it"s here. I that stood but this morning and out-faced them, that risked rather to die disgraced upon the gallows than do wrong--and a few hours after I throw my honour away by the roadside in common talk! "There is one thing clear upon our interview," says he, "that I can rely on your pledged word." Where is my word now? Who could believe me now? _You_ could not believe me. I am clean fallen down; I had best die!" All this I said with a weeping voice, but I had no tears in my body.
"My heart is sore for you," said she, "but be sure you are too nice. I would not believe you, do you say? I would trust you with anything. And these men? I would not be thinking of them! Men who go about to entrap and to destroy you! Fy! this is no time to crouch. Look up! Do you not think I will be admiring you like a great hero of the good--and you a boy not much older than myself? And because you said a word too much in a friend"s ear, that would die ere she betrayed you--to make such a matter! It is one thing that we must both forget."
"Catriona," said I, looking at her, hang-dog, "is this true of it? Would ye trust me yet?"
"Will you not believe the tears upon my face?" she cried. "It is the world I am thinking of you, Mr. David Balfour. Let them hang you; I will never forget, I will grow old and still remember you. I think it is great to die so; I will envy you that gallows."
"And maybe all this while I am but a child frighted with bogles," said I. "Maybe they but make a mock of me."
"It is what I must know," she said. "I must hear the whole. The harm is done at all events, and I must hear the whole."
I had sat down on the wayside, where she took a place beside me, and I told her all that matter much as I have written it, my thoughts about her father"s dealing being alone omitted.
"Well," she said, when I had finished, "you are a hero, surely, and I never would have thought that same! And I think you are in peril, too.
O, Symon Fraser! to think upon that man! For his life and the dirty money, to be dealing in such traffic!" And just then she called out aloud with a queer word that was common with her, and belongs, I believe, to her own language. "My torture!" says she, "look at the sun!"
Indeed, it was already dipping towards the mountains.
She bid me come again soon, gave me her hand, and left me in a turmoil of glad spirits. I delayed to go home to my lodging, for I had a terror of immediate arrest; but got some supper at a change house, and the better part of that night walked by myself in the barley-fields, and had such a sense of Catriona"s presence that I seemed to bear her in my arms.
CHAPTER VIII
THE BRAVO
The next day, August 29th, I kept my appointment at the Advocate"s in a coat that I had made to my own measure, and was but newly ready.
"Aha," says Prestongrange, "you are very fine to-day; my misses are to have a fine cavalier. Come, I take that kind of you. I take that kind of you, Mr. David. O, we shall do very well yet, and I believe your troubles are nearly at an end."
"You have news for me?" cried I.
"Beyond antic.i.p.ation," he replied. "Your testimony is after all to be received; and you may go, if you will, in my company to the trial, which is to be held at Inverary, Thursday, 21st _proximo_."
I was too much amazed to find words.
"In the meanwhile," he continued, "though I will not ask you to renew your pledge, I must caution you strictly to be reticent. To-morrow your precognition must be taken; and outside of that, do you know, I think least said will be soonest mended."
"I shall try to go discreetly," said I. "I believe it is yourself that I must thank for this crowning mercy, and I do thank you gratefully. After yesterday, my lord, this is like the doors of Heaven. I cannot find it in my heart to get the thing believed."
"Ah, but you must try and manage, you must try and manage to believe it," says he, soothing-like, "and I am very glad to hear your acknowledgment of obligation, for I think you may be able to repay me very shortly"--he coughed--"or even now. The matter is much changed.
Your testimony, which I shall not trouble you for to-day, will doubtless alter the complexion of the case for all concerned, and this makes it less delicate for me to enter with you on a side issue."
"My lord," I interrupted, "excuse me for interrupting you, but how has this been brought about? The obstacles you told me of on Sat.u.r.day appeared even to me to be quite insurmountable; how has it been contrived?"
"My dear Mr. David," said he, "it would never do for me to divulge (even to you, as you say) the councils of the Government; and you must content yourself, if you please, with the gross fact."
He smiled upon me like a father as he spoke, playing the while with a new pen; methought it was impossible there could be any shadow of deception in the man: yet when he drew to him a sheet of paper, dipped his pen among the ink, and began again to address me, I was somehow not so certain, and fell instinctively into an att.i.tude of guard.
"There is a point I wish to touch upon," he began. "I purposely left it before upon one side, which need be now no longer necessary. This is not, of course, a part of your examination, which is to follow by another hand; this is a private interest of my own. You say you encountered Breck upon the hill?"
"I did, my lord," said I.
"This was immediately after the murder?"