After beating a little tune on his chin as he walked on, with the two forefingers of his skeleton right hand, he added:
"There are expressions, you see, Master Copperfield--Latin words and terms--in Mr. Tidd, that are trying to a reader of my umble attainments."
"Would you like to be taught Latin?" I said briskly. "I will teach it you with pleasure, as I learn it."
"Oh, thank you, Master Copperfield," he answered, shaking his head. "I am sure it"s very kind of you to make the offer, but I am much too umble to accept it."
"What nonsense, Uriah!"
"Oh, indeed you must excuse me, Master Copperfield! I am greatly obliged, and I should like it of all things, I a.s.sure you; but I am far too umble. There are people enough to tread upon me in my lowly state, without my doing outrage to their feelings by possessing learning.
Learning ain"t for me. A person like myself had better not aspire. If he is to get on in life, he must get on umbly, Master Copperfield!"
I never saw his mouth so wide, or the creases in his cheeks so deep, as when he delivered himself of these sentiments: shaking his head all the time, and writhing modestly.
"I think you are wrong, Uriah," I said. "I dare say there are several things that I could teach you, if you would like to learn them."
"Oh, I don"t doubt that, Master Copperfield," he answered; "not in the least. But not being umble yourself, you don"t judge well, perhaps, for them that are. I won"t provoke my betters with knowledge, thank you. I"m much too umble. Here is my umble dwelling, Master Copperfield!"
We entered a low, old-fashioned room, walked straight into from the street, and found there Mrs. Heep, who was the dead image of Uriah, only short. She received me with the utmost humility, and apologized to me for giving her son a kiss, observing that, lowly as they were, they had their natural affections, which they hoped would give no offence to anyone. It was a perfectly decent room, half parlour and half kitchen, but not at all a snug room. The tea-things were set upon the table, and the kettle was boiling on the hob. There was a chest of drawers with an escritoire top, for Uriah to read or write at of an evening; there was Uriah"s blue bag lying down and vomiting papers; there was a company of Uriah"s books commanded by Mr. Tidd; there was a corner cupboard: and there were the usual articles of furniture. I don"t remember that any individual object had a bare, pinched, spare look; but I do remember that the whole place had.
It was perhaps a part of Mrs. Heep"s humility, that she still wore weeds. Notwithstanding the lapse of time that had occurred since Mr.
Heep"s decease, she still wore weeds. I think there was some compromise in the cap; but otherwise she was as weedy as in the early days of her mourning.
"This is a day to be remembered, my Uriah, I am sure," said Mrs. Heep, making the tea, "when Master Copperfield pays us a visit."
"I said you"d think so, mother," said Uriah.
"If I could have wished father to remain among us for any reason," said Mrs. Heep, "it would have been, that he might have known his company this afternoon."
I felt embarra.s.sed by these compliments; but I was sensible, too, of being entertained as an honoured guest, and I thought Mrs. Heep an agreeable woman.
"My Uriah," said Mrs. Heep, "has looked forward to this, sir, a long while. He had his fears that our umbleness stood in the way, and I joined in them myself. Umble we are, umble we have been, umble we shall ever be," said Mrs. Heep.
"I am sure you have no occasion to be so, ma"am," I said, "unless you like."
"Thank you, sir," retorted Mrs. Heep. "We know our station and are thankful in it."
I found that Mrs. Heep gradually got nearer to me, and that Uriah gradually got opposite to me, and that they respectfully plied me with the choicest of the eatables on the table. There was nothing particularly choice there, to be sure; but I took the will for the deed, and felt that they were very attentive. Presently they began to talk about aunts, and then I told them about mine; and about fathers and mothers, and then I told them about mine; and then Mrs. Heep began to talk about fathers-in-law, and then I began to tell her about mine--but stopped, because my aunt had advised me to observe a silence on that subject. A tender young cork, however, would have had no more chance against a pair of corkscrews, or a tender young tooth against a pair of dentists, or a little shuttlec.o.c.k against two battledores, than I had against Uriah and Mrs. Heep. They did just what they liked with me; and wormed things out of me that I had no desire to tell, with a certainty I blush to think of, the more especially, as in my juvenile frankness, I took some credit to myself for being so confidential and felt that I was quite the patron of my two respectful entertainers.
They were very fond of one another: that was certain. I take it, that had its effect upon me, as a touch of nature; but the skill with which the one followed up whatever the other said, was a touch of art which I was still less proof against. When there was nothing more to be got out of me about myself (for on the Murdstone and Grinby life, and on my journey, I was dumb), they began about Mr. Wickfield and Agnes. Uriah threw the ball to Mrs. Heep, Mrs. Heep caught it and threw it back to Uriah, Uriah kept it up a little while, then sent it back to Mrs. Heep, and so they went on tossing it about until I had no idea who had got it, and was quite bewildered. The ball itself was always changing too. Now it was Mr. Wickfield, now Agnes, now the excellence of Mr. Wickfield, now my admiration of Agnes; now the extent of Mr. Wickfield"s business and resources, now our domestic life after dinner; now, the wine that Mr. Wickfield took, the reason why he took it, and the pity that it was he took so much; now one thing, now another, then everything at once; and all the time, without appearing to speak very often, or to do anything but sometimes encourage them a little, for fear they should be overcome by their humility and the honour of my company, I found myself perpetually letting out something or other that I had no business to let out and seeing the effect of it in the twinkling of Uriah"s dinted nostrils.
I had begun to be a little uncomfortable, and to wish myself well out of the visit, when a figure coming down the street pa.s.sed the door--it stood open to air the room, which was warm, the weather being close for the time of year--came back again, looked in, and walked in, exclaiming loudly, "Copperfield! Is it possible?"
It was Mr. Micawber! It was Mr. Micawber, with his eye-gla.s.s, and his walking-stick, and his shirt-collar, and his genteel air, and the condescending roll in his voice, all complete!
"My dear Copperfield," said Mr. Micawber, putting out his hand, "this is indeed a meeting which is calculated to impress the mind with a sense of the instability and uncertainty of all human--in short, it is a most extraordinary meeting. Walking along the street, reflecting upon the probability of something turning up (of which I am at present rather sanguine), I find a young but valued friend turn up, who is connected with the most eventful period of my life; I may say, with the turning-point of my existence. Copperfield, my dear fellow, how do you do?"
I cannot say--I really cannot say--that I was glad to see Mr. Micawber there; but I was glad to see him too, and shook hands with him, heartily, inquiring how Mrs. Micawber was.
"Thank you," said Mr. Micawber, waving his hand as of old, and settling his chin in his shirt-collar. "She is tolerably convalescent. The twins no longer derive their sustenance from Nature"s founts--in short," said Mr. Micawber, in one of his bursts of confidence, "they are weaned--and Mrs. Micawber is, at present, my travelling companion. She will be rejoiced, Copperfield, to renew her acquaintance with one who has proved himself in all respects a worthy minister at the sacred altar of friendship."
I said I should be delighted to see her.
"You are very good," said Mr. Micawber.
Mr. Micawber then smiled, settled his chin again, and looked about him.
"I have discovered my friend Copperfield," said Mr. Micawber genteelly, and without addressing himself particularly to anyone, "not in solitude, but partaking of a social meal in company with a widow lady, and one who is apparently her offspring--in short," said Mr. Micawber, in another of his bursts of confidence, "her son. I shall esteem it an honour to be presented."
I could do no less, under these circ.u.mstances, than make Mr. Micawber known to Uriah Heep and his mother; which I accordingly did. As they abased themselves before him, Mr. Micawber took a seat, and waved his hand in his most courtly manner.
"Any friend of my friend Copperfield"s," said Mr. Micawber, "has a personal claim upon myself."
"We are too umble, sir," said Mrs. Heep, "my son and me, to be the friends of Master Copperfield. He has been so good as take his tea with us, and we are thankful to him for his company, also to you, sir, for your notice."
"Ma"am," returned Mr. Micawber, with a bow, "you are very obliging: and what are you doing, Copperfield? Still in the wine trade?"
I was excessively anxious to get Mr. Micawber away; and replied, with my hat in my hand, and a very red face, I have no doubt, that I was a pupil at Doctor Strong"s.
"A pupil?" said Mr. Micawber, raising his eyebrows. "I am extremely happy to hear it. Although a mind like my friend Copperfield"s"--to Uriah and Mrs. Heep--"does not require that cultivation which, without his knowledge of men and things, it would require, still it is a rich soil teeming with latent vegetation--in short," said Mr. Micawber, smiling, in another burst of confidence, "it is an intellect capable of getting up the cla.s.sics to any extent."
Uriah, with his long hands slowly twining over one another, made a ghastly writhe from the waist upwards, to express his concurrence in this estimation of me.
"Shall we go and see Mrs. Micawber, sir?" I said, to get Mr. Micawber away.
"If you will do her that favour, Copperfield," replied Mr. Micawber, rising. "I have no scruple in saying, in the presence of our friends here, that I am a man who has, for some years, contended against the pressure of pecuniary difficulties." I knew he was certain to say something of this kind; he always would be so boastful about his difficulties. "Sometimes I have risen superior to my difficulties.
Sometimes my difficulties have--in short, have floored me. There have been times when I have administered a succession of facers to them; there have been times when they have been too many for me, and I have given in, and said to Mrs. Micawber, in the words of Cato, "Plato, thou reasonest well. It"s all up now. I can show fight no more." But at no time of my life," said Mr. Micawber, "have I enjoyed a higher degree of satisfaction than in pouring my griefs (if I may describe difficulties, chiefly arising out of warrants of attorney and promissory notes at two and four months, by that word) into the bosom of my friend Copperfield."
Mr. Micawber closed this handsome tribute by saying, "Mr. Heep! Good evening. Mrs. Heep! Your servant," and then walking out with me in his most fashionable manner, making a good deal of noise on the pavement with his shoes, and humming a tune as we went.
It was a little inn where Mr. Micawber put up, and he occupied a little room in it, part.i.tioned off from the commercial room, and strongly flavoured with tobacco-smoke. I think it was over the kitchen, because a warm greasy smell appeared to come up through the c.h.i.n.ks in the floor, and there was a flabby perspiration on the walls. I know it was near the bar, on account of the smell of spirits and jingling of gla.s.ses. Here, rec.u.mbent on a small sofa, underneath a picture of a race-horse, with her head close to the fire, and her feet pushing the mustard off the dumb-waiter at the other end of the room, was Mrs. Micawber, to whom Mr.
Micawber entered first, saying, "My dear, allow me to introduce to you a pupil of Doctor Strong"s."
I noticed, by the by, that although Mr. Micawber was just as much confused as ever about my age and standing, he always remembered, as a genteel thing, that I was a pupil of Doctor Strong"s.
Mrs. Micawber was amazed, but very glad to see me. I was very glad to see her too, and, after an affectionate greeting on both sides, sat down on the small sofa near her.
"My dear," said Mr. Micawber, "if you will mention to Copperfield what our present position is, which I have no doubt he will like to know, I will go and look at the paper the while, and see whether anything turns up among the advertis.e.m.e.nts."
"I thought you were at Plymouth, ma"am," I said to Mrs. Micawber, as he went out.
"My dear Master Copperfield," she replied, "we went to Plymouth."
"To be on the spot," I hinted.
"Just so," said Mrs. Micawber. "To be on the spot. But, the truth is, talent is not wanted in the Custom House. The local influence of my family was quite unavailing to obtain any employment in that department, for a man of Mr. Micawber"s abilities. They would rather NOT have a man of Mr. Micawber"s abilities. He would only show the deficiency of the others. Apart from which," said Mrs. Micawber, "I will not disguise from you, my dear Master Copperfield, that when that branch of my family which is settled in Plymouth, became aware that Mr. Micawber was accompanied by myself, and by little Wilkins and his sister, and by the twins, they did not receive him with that ardour which he might have expected, being so newly released from captivity. In fact," said Mrs.
Micawber, lowering her voice,--"this is between ourselves--our reception was cool."