"Mother," he said, with an impatient bite at the handkerchief in which his hand was wrapped, "you had better take and fire a loaded gun at me."
"But I love you, Ury," cried Mrs. Heep. And I have no doubt she did; or that he loved her, however strange it may appear; though, to be sure, they were a congenial couple. "And I can"t bear to hear you provoking the gentlemen, and endangering of yourself more. I told the gentleman at first, when he told me upstairs it was come to light, that I would answer for your being umble, and making amends. Oh, see how umble I am, gentlemen, and don"t mind him!"
"Why, there"s Copperfield, mother," he angrily retorted, pointing his lean finger at me, against whom all his animosity was levelled, as the prime mover in the discovery; and I did not undeceive him; "there"s Copperfield, would have given you a hundred pound to say less than you"ve blurted out!"
"I can"t help it, Ury," cried his mother. "I can"t see you running into danger, through carrying your head so high. Better be umble, as you always was."
He remained for a little, biting the handkerchief, and then said to me with a scowl:
"What more have you got to bring forward? If anything, go on with it.
What do you look at me for?"
Mr. Micawber promptly resumed his letter, glad to revert to a performance with which he was so highly satisfied.
""Third. And last. I am now in a condition to show, by--HEEP"S--false books, and--HEEP"S--real memoranda, beginning with the partially destroyed pocket-book (which I was unable to comprehend, at the time of its accidental discovery by Mrs. Micawber, on our taking possession of our present abode, in the locker or bin devoted to the reception of the ashes calcined on our domestic hearth), that the weaknesses, the faults, the very virtues, the parental affections, and the sense of honour, of the unhappy Mr. W. have been for years acted on by, and warped to the base purposes of--HEEP. That Mr. W. has been for years deluded and plundered, in every conceivable manner, to the pecuniary aggrandis.e.m.e.nt of the avaricious, false, and grasping--HEEP. That the engrossing object of--HEEP--was, next to gain, to subdue Mr. and Miss W. (of his ulterior views in reference to the latter I say nothing) entirely to himself.
That his last act, completed but a few months since, was to induce Mr.
W. to execute a relinquishment of his share in the partnership, and even a bill of sale on the very furniture of his house, in consideration of a certain annuity, to be well and truly paid by--HEEP--on the four common quarter-days in each and every year. That these meshes; beginning with alarming and falsified accounts of the estate of which Mr. W. is the receiver, at a period when Mr. W. had launched into imprudent and ill-judged speculations, and may not have had the money, for which he was morally and legally responsible, in hand; going on with pretended borrowings of money at enormous interest, really coming from--HEEP--and by--HEEP--fraudulently obtained or withheld from Mr. W. himself, on pretence of such speculations or otherwise; perpetuated by a miscellaneous catalogue of unscrupulous chicaneries--gradually thickened, until the unhappy Mr. W. could see no world beyond. Bankrupt, as he believed, alike in circ.u.mstances, in all other hope, and in honour, his sole reliance was upon the monster in the garb of man,""--Mr. Micawber made a good deal of this, as a new turn of expression,--""who, by making himself necessary to him, had achieved his destruction. All this I undertake to show. Probably much more!""
I whispered a few words to Agnes, who was weeping, half joyfully, half sorrowfully, at my side; and there was a movement among us, as if Mr.
Micawber had finished. He said, with exceeding gravity, "Pardon me,"
and proceeded, with a mixture of the lowest spirits and the most intense enjoyment, to the peroration of his letter.
""I have now concluded. It merely remains for me to substantiate these accusations; and then, with my ill-starred family, to disappear from the landscape on which we appear to be an enc.u.mbrance. That is soon done. It may be reasonably inferred that our baby will first expire of inanition, as being the frailest member of our circle; and that our twins will follow next in order. So be it! For myself, my Canterbury Pilgrimage has done much; imprisonment on civil process, and want, will soon do more.
I trust that the labour and hazard of an investigation--of which the smallest results have been slowly pieced together, in the pressure of arduous avocations, under grinding penurious apprehensions, at rise of morn, at dewy eve, in the shadows of night, under the watchful eye of one whom it were superfluous to call Demon--combined with the struggle of parental Poverty to turn it, when completed, to the right account, may be as the sprinkling of a few drops of sweet water on my funeral pyre. I ask no more. Let it be, in justice, merely said of me, as of a gallant and eminent naval Hero, with whom I have no pretensions to cope, that what I have done, I did, in despite of mercenary and selfish objects,
For England, home, and Beauty.
""Remaining always, &c. &c., WILKINS MICAWBER.""
Much affected, but still intensely enjoying himself, Mr. Micawber folded up his letter, and handed it with a bow to my aunt, as something she might like to keep.
There was, as I had noticed on my first visit long ago, an iron safe in the room. The key was in it. A hasty suspicion seemed to strike Uriah; and, with a glance at Mr. Micawber, he went to it, and threw the doors clanking open. It was empty.
"Where are the books?" he cried, with a frightful face. "Some thief has stolen the books!"
Mr. Micawber tapped himself with the ruler. "I did, when I got the key from you as usual--but a little earlier--and opened it this morning."
"Don"t be uneasy," said Traddles. "They have come into my possession. I will take care of them, under the authority I mentioned."
"You receive stolen goods, do you?" cried Uriah.
"Under such circ.u.mstances," answered Traddles, "yes."
What was my astonishment when I beheld my aunt, who had been profoundly quiet and attentive, make a dart at Uriah Heep, and seize him by the collar with both hands!
"You know what I want?" said my aunt.
"A strait-waistcoat," said he.
"No. My property!" returned my aunt. "Agnes, my dear, as long as I believed it had been really made away with by your father, I wouldn"t--and, my dear, I didn"t, even to Trot, as he knows--breathe a syllable of its having been placed here for investment. But, now I know this fellow"s answerable for it, and I"ll have it! Trot, come and take it away from him!"
Whether my aunt supposed, for the moment, that he kept her property in his neck-kerchief, I am sure I don"t know; but she certainly pulled at it as if she thought so. I hastened to put myself between them, and to a.s.sure her that we would all take care that he should make the utmost rest.i.tution of everything he had wrongly got. This, and a few moments"
reflection, pacified her; but she was not at all disconcerted by what she had done (though I cannot say as much for her bonnet) and resumed her seat composedly.
During the last few minutes, Mrs. Heep had been clamouring to her son to be "umble"; and had been going down on her knees to all of us in succession, and making the wildest promises. Her son sat her down in his chair; and, standing sulkily by her, holding her arm with his hand, but not rudely, said to me, with a ferocious look:
"What do you want done?"
"I will tell you what must be done," said Traddles.
"Has that Copperfield no tongue?" muttered Uriah, "I would do a good deal for you if you could tell me, without lying, that somebody had cut it out."
"My Uriah means to be umble!" cried his mother. "Don"t mind what he says, good gentlemen!"
"What must be done," said Traddles, "is this. First, the deed of relinquishment, that we have heard of, must be given over to me now--here."
"Suppose I haven"t got it," he interrupted.
"But you have," said Traddles; "therefore, you know, we won"t suppose so." And I cannot help avowing that this was the first occasion on which I really did justice to the clear head, and the plain, patient, practical good sense, of my old schoolfellow. "Then," said Traddles, "you must prepare to disgorge all that your rapacity has become possessed of, and to make restoration to the last farthing. All the partnership books and papers must remain in our possession; all your books and papers; all money accounts and securities, of both kinds. In short, everything here."
"Must it? I don"t know that," said Uriah. "I must have time to think about that."
"Certainly," replied Traddles; "but, in the meanwhile, and until everything is done to our satisfaction, we shall maintain possession of these things; and beg you--in short, compel you--to keep to your own room, and hold no communication with anyone."
"I won"t do it!" said Uriah, with an oath.
"Maidstone jail is a safer place of detention," observed Traddles; "and though the law may be longer in righting us, and may not be able to right us so completely as you can, there is no doubt of its punishing YOU. Dear me, you know that quite as well as I! Copperfield, will you go round to the Guildhall, and bring a couple of officers?"
Here, Mrs. Heep broke out again, crying on her knees to Agnes to interfere in their behalf, exclaiming that he was very humble, and it was all true, and if he didn"t do what we wanted, she would, and much more to the same purpose; being half frantic with fears for her darling.
To inquire what he might have done, if he had had any boldness, would be like inquiring what a mongrel cur might do, if it had the spirit of a tiger. He was a coward, from head to foot; and showed his dastardly nature through his sullenness and mortification, as much as at any time of his mean life.
"Stop!" he growled to me; and wiped his hot face with his hand. "Mother, hold your noise. Well! Let "em have that deed. Go and fetch it!"
"Do you help her, Mr. d.i.c.k," said Traddles, "if you please."
Proud of his commission, and understanding it, Mr. d.i.c.k accompanied her as a shepherd"s dog might accompany a sheep. But, Mrs. Heep gave him little trouble; for she not only returned with the deed, but with the box in which it was, where we found a banker"s book and some other papers that were afterwards serviceable.
"Good!" said Traddles, when this was brought. "Now, Mr. Heep, you can retire to think: particularly observing, if you please, that I declare to you, on the part of all present, that there is only one thing to be done; that it is what I have explained; and that it must be done without delay."
Uriah, without lifting his eyes from the ground, shuffled across the room with his hand to his chin, and pausing at the door, said:
"Copperfield, I have always hated you. You"ve always been an upstart, and you"ve always been against me."
"As I think I told you once before," said I, "it is you who have been, in your greed and cunning, against all the world. It may be profitable to you to reflect, in future, that there never were greed and cunning in the world yet, that did not do too much, and overreach themselves. It is as certain as death."
"Or as certain as they used to teach at school (the same school where I picked up so much umbleness), from nine o"clock to eleven, that labour was a curse; and from eleven o"clock to one, that it was a blessing and a cheerfulness, and a dignity, and I don"t know what all, eh?" said he with a sneer. "You preach, about as consistent as they did.
Won"t umbleness go down? I shouldn"t have got round my gentleman fellow-partner without it, I think. --Micawber, you old bully, I"ll pay YOU!"