"This is impossible," she said, very gravely and quietly.
"Impossible? Oh, no, no, do not say that! You cannot, you must not say that!"
"Yes, Jasper," she repeated, and her face was pallid as snow; "it is impossible."
But as I heard my doom, I arose and fought it with blind despair.
"Claire, you do not know what you are saying. You love me, Claire; you have told me so, and I love you as my very soul. Surely, then, you will not say this thing. How were we to know? How could you have told? Oh, Claire! is it that you do not love me?"
Her eyes were full of infinite compa.s.sion and tenderness, but her lips were firm and cold.
"You know that I love you."
"Then, oh, my love! how can this come between us? What does it matter that our fathers fought and killed each other, if only we love? Surely, surely Heaven cannot fix the seal of this crime upon us for ever? Speak, Claire, and tell me that you will be mine in spite of all!"
"It cannot be," she answered, very gently.
"Cannot be!" I echoed. "Then I was right, and you do not love, but fancied that you did for a while. Love, love, was that fair?
No power on earth--no, nor in heaven--should have made me cast you off so."
My rage died out before the mute reproach of those lovely eyes.
I caught the white hand.
"Forgive me, Claire; I was desperate, and knew not what I was saying.
I know you love me--you have said so, and you are truth itself; truth and all goodness. But if you have loved, then you can love me still.
Remember our text, Claire, "Love is strong as death." Strong as death, and can it be overcome so easily?"
She was trembling terribly, and from the little hand within mine I could feel her agitation. But though the soft eyes spoke appealingly as they were raised in answer, I could see, behind all their anguish, an immutable resolve.
"No, Jasper; it can never be--never. Do you think I am not suffering--that it is nothing to me to lose you? Try to think better of me. Oh, Jasper, it is hard indeed for me, and--I love you so."
"No, no," she went on; "do not make the task harder for me. Why can you not curse me? It would be easier then. Why can you not hate me as you ought? Oh, if you would but strike me and go, I could better bear this hour!"
There was such abandonment of entreaty in her tones that my heart bled for her; yet I could only answer--
"Claire, I will not give you up; not though you went on your knees and implored it. Death alone can divide us now; and even death will never kill my love."
"Death!" she answered. "Think, then, that I am dead; think of me as under the mould. Ah, love, hearts do not break so easily. You would grieve at first, but in a little while I should be forgotten."
"Claire!"
"Forgive me, love; not forgotten. I wronged you when I said the word. Believe me, Jasper, that if there be any gleam of day in the blackness that surrounds me it is the thought that you so love me; and yet it would have been far easier otherwise--far easier."
Little by little my hope was slipping from me; but still I strove with her as a man battles for his life. I raved, protested, called earth and heaven to witness her cruelty; but all in vain.
"It would be a sin--a horrible sin!" she kept saying. "G.o.d would never forgive it. No, no; do not try to persuade me--it is horrible!" and she shuddered.
Utterly beaten at last by her obstinacy, I said--
"I will leave you now to think it over. Let me call again and hear that you repent."
"No, love; we must never meet again. This must be our last good-bye.
Stay!" and she smiled for the first time since that meeting in the cemetery. "Come to "Francesca" to-night; I am going to act."
"What! to-night?"
"Yes. One must live, you see, even though one suffers. See, I have a ticket for you--for a box. You will come? Promise me."
"Never, Claire."
"Yes, promise me. Do me this last favour; I shall never ask another."
I took the card in silence.
"And now," she said, "you may kiss me. Kiss me on the lips for the last time, and may G.o.d bless you, my love."
Quite calmly and gently she lifted her lips to mine, and on her face was the glory of unutterable tenderness.
"Claire! My love, my love!" My arms were round her, her whole form yielded helplessly to mine, and as our lips met in that one pa.s.sionate, shuddering caress, sank on my breast.
"You will not leave me?" I cried.
And through her sobs came the answer--
"Yes, yes; it must be, it must be."
Then drawing herself up, she held out her hand and said--
"To-night, remember, and so--farewell."
And so, in the fading light of that grey December afternoon I left her standing there.
Mad and distraught with the pa.s.sion of that parting, I sat that evening in the shadow of my box and waited for the curtain to rise upon "Francesca." The Coliseum was crowded to the roof, for it was known that Clarissa Lambert"s illness had been merely a slight indisposition, and to-night she would again be acting. I was too busy with my own hard thoughts to pay much attention at first, but I noticed that my box was the one nearest to the stage, in the tier next above it. So that once more I should hear my darling"s voice, and see her form close to me. Once or twice I vaguely scanned the audience. The boxes opposite were full; but, of course, I could see nothing of my own side of the theatre. After a moment"s listless glance, I leaned back in the shadow and waited.
I do not know who composed the overture. It is haunted by one exquisite air, repeated, fading into variations, then rising once more only to sink into the tender sorrow of a minor key. I have heard it but twice in my life, but the music of it is with me to this day. Then, as I heard it, it carried me back to the hour when Tom and I sat expectant in this same theatre, he trembling for his play"s success, I for the sight of my love. Poor Tom! The sad melody wailed upwards as though it were the voice of the wind playing about his grave, every note breathing pathos or suspiring in tremulous anguish. Poor Tom! Yet your love was happier than mine; better to die with Claire"s kiss warm upon the lips than to live with but the memory of it.
The throbbing music had ended, and the play began. As before, the audience were without enthusiasm at first, but to-night they knew they had but to wait, and they did so patiently; so that when at last Claire"s voice died softly away at the close of her opening song, the hushed house was suddenly shaken to its roof with the storm and tumult of applause.
There she stood, serene and glowing, as one that had never known pain. My very eyes doubted. On her face was no sign of suffering, no trace of a tear. Was she, then, utterly without heart? In my memory I retraced the scene of that afternoon, and all my reason acquitted her. Yet, as she stood there in her glorious epiphany, illumined with the blazing lights, and radiant in the joy and freshness of youth, I could have doubted whether, after all, Clarissa Lambert and Claire Luttrell were one and the same.
There was one thing which I did not fail, however, to note as strange. She did not once glance in the direction of my box, but kept her eyes steadily averted. And it then suddenly dawned upon me that she must be playing with a purpose; but what that purpose was I could not guess.
Whatever it was, she was acting magnificently and had for the present completely surrendered herself to her art. Grand as that art had been on the first night of "Francesca," the power of that performance was utterly eclipsed to-night. Once between the acts I heard two voices in the pa.s.sage outside my box--
"What do you think of it?" said the first.
"What can I?" answered the other. "And how can I tell you? It is altogether above words."