"That too. Hear it all the time. Especially from you. You"re going to give me a complex."
"Not you. You got to be sensitive to get a complex. You"re sensitive like a stinky old boot. Grange Cleaver, now he"s a sensitive kind of guy." She grinned.
"You ever going to tell me something? Or you just going to sit there smirking like a toad on a cowpie?"
She snickered. "I told you, Garrett, Grange Cleaver is the kind of guy wears earrings."
"Plenty of guys are the kind of guys who wear earrings. That don"t make them poofs. They might be fierce pirates."
"Yeah? He"s also the kind of guy wears wigs and makeup and likes to dress up in girl clothes. I heard him brag about how he used to work the Tenderloin without the johns ever knowing how unique an experience they"d had."
"It happens." In the Tenderloin, in TunFaire, everything happens. I didn"t consider this big news, though Cleaver did seem careless with his secrets. You get too public you can end up with more trouble than you can handle. Asking for trouble is plain dumb.
"He human?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"And don"t hide his quirks?"
"Not around home. I never saw him go out in the street and run after little boys. Why?"
"He don"t sound careful enough. You got any idea what a poof goes through in the army? h.e.l.l like you wouldn"t believe. Bottom line is, any of them that don"t hide it d.a.m.ned good don"t last. The Cantard is no place to belong to an unpopular minority."
"I don"t think Grange was in the service, Garrett."
"You"re on a first-name basis?"
"He has everybody call him Grange."
"Real democratic kind of guy, eh?"
"Yeah."
"Right. So. He"s human and male, he had to be in some service, Winger. They don"t allow exceptions."
"Maybe he was a dodger."
"They never give up hunting those guys." They don"t. Not ever. There is no privilege when it comes to conscription. Say that for our masters. No favoritism is shown there. In fact, in that regard they they pay more than their share of the price. They do lead from the front. pay more than their share of the price. They do lead from the front.
Notice how Winger got me off on a tangent? I did. She had dropped out on this Cleaver princess but did not want to give up any information about him. That meant she still saw an angle.
Winger always sees an angle.
"Let"s get back to the high road. What"s between Cleaver and Maggie Jenn? If he"s a shrieking f.a.ggot, why is he interested at all?"
"I think she"s his sister."
"Say what?"
"Or maybe his cousin. Anyway, they"re related somehow. And she"s got something he wants. Something he figures is his."
"So she"s going to kill him?" This was getting weirder by the minute.
I hate family wars. They"re the worst kind. They put you out in no-man"s land all alone without a map. Whatever you do turns out wrong. "What"s he after, Winger?" "
"I don"t know." Now she was getting long suffering, the way people do when small children ask too many questions. "I just worked for the guy. I didn"t sleep with him. I wasn"t his social secretary. I wasn"t his partner. I didn"t keep his diary for him. I just took his money and did what he said. Then I came out to save your b.u.t.t on account of I kind of felt responsible for getting you into a jam."
"You were were responsible. You were running a game on me. I don"t know what it was because you"ve kept it to yourself. Chances are you"re still running a game on me, you being you." responsible. You were running a game on me. I don"t know what it was because you"ve kept it to yourself. Chances are you"re still running a game on me, you being you."
I was a little tired of Winger, which was another of her talents. She could exasperate you till you ran her off, leaving you thinking it was your idea that she was gone; leaving you feeling guilty for doing her that way.
"So what"re you gonna do?" she asked. I had let go of her hand.
"I figure I"ll suck up a few beers, then I"ll get me some sleep. After I get me out of this clown costume and delouse myself."
"Want some company?"
That"s my friend Winger.
"Not tonight. I just want to sleep."
"All right. You want to be that way." She got gone before I could react to the smug smile she left floating behind her. Before I fully realized that she was going without having told me anything useful, like where the h.e.l.l I could find friendly Grange Cleaver.
21.
"I just want to get some sleep." Usually famous last words for me when I"m working. I"d get three hours of shuteye the rest of the month.
The G.o.ds were toying with me-n.o.body messed with me at all. So naturally I kept waking up to listen for pounding at the door. Somewhere up there, or down there, or out there, an otherwise useless G.o.dlet was earning his reputation by tormenting me in ingenious ways. If he keeps on, he may get promoted to director of heavenly sewers.
So I failed to rest well despite the opportunity. I wakened cranky and stomped around cussing Dean for being out of town. There was no one else I could make miserable.
The true breadth and depth of my genius didn"t occur to me till I was well along toward whipping up a truly awful breakfast of griddle cakes. I had forgotten to ask Winger about the guy who had followed me to Maggie Jenn"s place.
Someone tapped on the front door. What the h.e.l.l? It was a civilized hour, almost.
The knock was so discreet I almost missed it. I grumbled some, flipped a flapjack, and headed up front.
I was astounded when I peeped through the peephole. I threw the door open to let the radiance of that blond beauty shine on me. "Didn"t expect to see you again, Doc." I examined the street behind the lovely, in case she headed up a platoon of Bledsoe guys who couldn"t take a joke. I didn"t see anybody, but that meant squat. Macunado Street was so crowded you could have hidden the entire hospital staff out there.
"You invited me." She looked like she had come directly from work, like maybe she"d pulled a double shift cleaning up. "You were panting over the idea." She had a sarcastic tone to counterweight a blistering smile. "Your big friend dunk you in icewater?"
"I just didn"t expect to see you again. Look, I"m sorry about that mess. I just get wild when somebody pulls a dirty trick like dumping me in the cackle factory."
Her lips pruned up. "Can"t you use a less contemptuous term?"
"Sorry. I"ll try." I encouraged myself by recalling a thing or three people have said about my profession, most of it unflattering.
She relaxed. "The dirty trick is why I"m here. What is that smell?"
I whirled. Tendrils of smoke slithered from the kitchen. I shrieked and bounded down the hall. Our lady of the marvelous legs followed at a dignified pace.
I scooped blackened griddle cakes into the sink. They sent up smoke signals denouncing my skills as a chef. h.e.l.l, I was so bad I might be able to get on in Morley"s kitchen. They had an opening. "I can use these to patch the roof," I grumbled.
"Too brittle."
"Everybody"s a comedian. You had breakfast?"
"No. But..."
"Grab an ap.r.o.n, kid. Give me a hand. A little food will do us both good. What you want to know, anyway?"
She grabbed an ap.r.o.n. Amazing gal. "I didn"t like the way you were talking last night. I decided to check it out. There was no record of your commitment, though when I joined the orderlies carrying you they a.s.sured me that you had been brought in by the Guard and the records were in order."
I made rude noises, started flapping a new generation of flapjacks.
"That was easy to check. A ranking Guard officer is an old friend of my family. Colonel Westman Block."
I squeaked three or four tunes before I managed to ask, "Colonel Block? They made a Block? They made a colonel colonel out of him?" out of him?"
"Wes speaks highly of you, too, Mr. Garrett."
"I"ll bet."
"He told me you were not not sent to the Bledsoe by his people-though he wished he"d thought of it." sent to the Bledsoe by his people-though he wished he"d thought of it."
"That"s Block. Playful as a hogshead of cobras."
"He did speak well of you professionally. But he warned me to remain wary in other respects." She could get a laugh into her voice, too.
"You going to want bacon?"
"You just starting it now? You"re supposed to start the bacon first. It takes longer."
"I cook one thing at a time. That way I only burn one thing at a time."
"A daring approach."
"Holds down expenses."
We cooked together and ate together and I spent a lot of time appreciating the scenery. The lady didn"t seem to mind.
We were cleaning up when she said, "I won"t tolerate this sort of thing. I won"t tolerate the corruption that allows it to happen."
I stepped back, checked her out with different eyes. "You just start working there? You"d have to look hard to find a place more corrupt than the Bledsoe."
"Yes. I"m new. And I"m finding out how rotten the place is. Every day it"s something. This is the worst yet. You might"ve spent your whole life wrongfully imprisoned."
"Yeah. And I wasn"t the only one in there. You an idealist and reformer?" TunFaire is infested with those lately.
"You don"t need to make me sound like a halfwit."
"Sorry. Most wannabe Utopians are, reality-wise. They come from well-to-do families and haven"t the vaguest notion what life is like for people who have have to depend on a Bledsoe. They can"t imagine what life is like for the kind of people who work in a Bledsoe. For them taking bribes and selling donated supplies are perks of the job. They wouldn"t understand you if you b.i.t.c.hed about it-unless they figured you were trying to increase the override you take off the top." to depend on a Bledsoe. They can"t imagine what life is like for the kind of people who work in a Bledsoe. For them taking bribes and selling donated supplies are perks of the job. They wouldn"t understand you if you b.i.t.c.hed about it-unless they figured you were trying to increase the override you take off the top."
She gave me a disgusted look. "Somebody suggested that yesterday."
"There you go. I bet you blew up. And didn"t get through. And now everybody in the place thinks you"re crazy. Maybe the better-placed guys in the bigger money are wondering if you"re dangerous crazy. They worry about these new Guards kicking a.s.s and taking names. It takes a while to corrupt reformers."
She settled with a fresh cup of tea, honey and mint in it. She eyed me, then mused, "West says you can be trusted."
"Nice of him to say. Wish I could say the same."
She frowned. "Point is, I"m dangerous already. A few days ago, several thousand marks worth of medical supplies vanished. Right away I filled two orderly slots with men I knew personally. Men I can trust."
"I see." In view of her Guard connection, I guessed they were Block"s men. He had a character named Relway working for him, running his secret police force. Relway was nasty nasty.
If Relway became interested in the Bledsoe, heads would roll and a.s.ses get kicked. Relway doesn"t let bureaucratic roadblocks and legal technicalities get in his way. He gets in there and rights those wrongs.
I suggested, "You be careful. They think you brought in spies, they could forget their manners."
She sipped tea, studied me, which made me uncomfortable. Not that I object to having a beautiful woman check me out. I was born to be a s.e.x object. But this beautiful woman had something less thrilling in mind. "I"m not as naive as you think, Garrett."
"Good. That"ll save you a lot of pain."
"You have any idea who signed you in?"
"No. I was asleep. But I hear the prince who paid for it goes by the name Grange Cleaver."
"Cleaver? Grange Cleaver?"
"You know him?"
"He"s a hospital trustee. Appointed through the imperial household." She studied me some more. "I told you I"m not as naive as you might think. That does include understanding that I might be in danger."
Could be was not how I would put it. "So?"
"So maybe I should get somebody to stick close by till the dust settles."
"Sounds like a good idea."
"You game?"
I was game, but not for that. "You want a bodyguard?"