"What does?"
He gave me a knowing smile, then looked over to where the cup was still lying half buried in the sand.
"The cup?"
He didn"t say anything, just c.o.c.ked his head speculatively.
"You can"t tell me, huh?"
He shrugged.
"You don"t want want to tell me-" to tell me-"
He rolled his shrunken eyes.
"You shouldn"t shouldn"t tell me-" tell me-"
He gritted his gums.
"You think I"m an idiot and you don"t like my choice of clothing-"
"Argh! It"s an enchantment, you ninny!" The words exploded out of his mouth in a rush.
"Oh," I said. "Okay. Gotcha. It"s an enchantment that you"re forced upon pain of something or other not to talk about."
Monsieur D gave me a gut-churning smile. Boy, I was so not not good around toothless people. Something about seeing a mouthful of gums instead of ivory really made me feel nauseous. good around toothless people. Something about seeing a mouthful of gums instead of ivory really made me feel nauseous.
"Yesssss, now that you"ve named it, we can discuss it."
"Why didn"t you just say so before?" I asked.
Monsieur D looked like he wanted to give me a tongue-lashing but instead decided to hold his tongue- which was probably for the best given that he wanted my help . . . and I needed needed his. his.
"Do you want to help your friend?" he said.
I nodded.
"Then get me the cup . . ."
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly before I spoke my next words.
"It"s wrong to give you the cup, isn"t it?"
He didn"t answer me, just gave me an "are you really this this stupid" look that I interpreted as a "yes." stupid" look that I interpreted as a "yes."
I didn"t know what to do. I"d never had such an important decision to make in my whole life. If I gave Monsieur D the cup, a lot of bad stuff might possibly go down, but if I didn"t . . . well, Daniel was obviously gonna die. I was between a rock and a hard place-and I did not not like the feeling one little bit. like the feeling one little bit.
"Okay. I"ll do it." I didn"t even think about my decision; I just jogged over to where the cup lay and reached out. The pain was searing-seriously, I could hear my brain sizzling inside my head, and as the pain began to eat away at my consciousness, I immediately cursed myself for making such a painfully stupid decision.
"OhG.o.dohc.r.a.pohpoo," I wailed, the words not even registering as they spilled out of my mouth. I couldn"t think, I couldn"t see, I couldn"t function. All I knew was pain. pain.
Luckily for me, it turned out that I didn"t need to be in control of my faculties. The cup had a mind of its own. It swung me around, sent me soldier-marching to the edge of the pool of crystalline water, and threw me to my knees. With a loud hiss hiss, I thrust the cup into the water, and suddenly I was free again.
I looked around me, blinking back tears of pain. Monsieur D was crouched beside me, tears streaming down his own face. He looked up at me with such profound grat.i.tude that I almost had to avert my eyes. I really didn"t feel like I deserved his appreciation. I hadn"t done this out of the kindness of my heart, after all. I had had my own selfish reasons for doing his bidding.
"Thank you," he said as, with shaking hands, he reached out and took the br.i.m.m.i.n.g cup from my singed fingers. He put the cup to his lips and drank from its depths like a dying man. Instantly, his shoulders relaxed, and his eyes closed happily.
"You"re welcome-" I started to say, but the words ceased as I stared at Monsieur D"s face. Something strange was happening to him. His skin, which until moments ago had seemed so thin it was almost translucent, was taking on a healthier glow, and the cheek-bones that had been so prominent before looked like they were now covered with a layer of fat.
"Monsieur D . . ." I stammered. "Your face . . ."
He swallowed the last drop of water in the cup and sighed contentedly before letting the cup fall to his lap. I was shocked. The man who sat beside me was entirely transformed. Gone was the rag-and-bone skeleton, replaced now by a handsome, patrician-looking man who was probably no older than I was.
"What are you?" I whispered. Was I really having a Cinderella-Snow White moment right here in h.e.l.l with Monsieur D? Was the nasty old homeless-looking guy really a handsome prince in disguise? Would wonders ever cease?
G.o.d, I hoped so. Because I was having a really hard time reconciling this guy with the crazy creature he"d been no more than two seconds before. This was definitely magic at its weirdest as far as I was concerned.
"You may call me Marcel now," he said as he smiled at me, revealing a handsome set of pearly whites.
Much better, I thought to myself. I thought to myself. No more Mr. Gnarly-mouth. No more Mr. Gnarly-mouth.
"Okay, Marcel Marcel," I replied, continuing to goggle at him since I wasn"t quite sure what to do next. All I knew was that he was pretty cute, and he did kinda owe me one for helping him out.
Marcel stared deeply into my eyes, his gaze penetrating to my very core. I watched, helpless as he leaned in toward me. Oh my G.o.d, Oh my G.o.d, I thought giddily, I thought giddily, he"s totally gonna kiss me. Hmm, maybe this is about to get a lot more interesting than I would"ve ever imagined. he"s totally gonna kiss me. Hmm, maybe this is about to get a lot more interesting than I would"ve ever imagined.
With his face now only inches from mine, he pursed his lips and whispered, "To the shortest Reign of Death that ever was." "To the shortest Reign of Death that ever was."
"Excuse me?" I said, not sure if I"d heard what I thought thought I"d heard. I"d heard.
The only answer I got concerned Marcel"s hands . . . and how expertly they wrapped themselves around my throat . . .
twenty-three.
I don"t know if you"ve ever been properly strangled, but let me tell you, it is not not fun. It hurts, you can"t breathe, and you"re having a panic attack all at the same time. It"s G.o.d-awful. fun. It hurts, you can"t breathe, and you"re having a panic attack all at the same time. It"s G.o.d-awful.
All I wanted to do was scream at Marcel to let go of my throat, and once he did, I wanted to kick him in the nuts so hard that he was forced to speak in a falsetto for the rest of his life. I wasn"t really worried about him killing me straight up, but I was in no mood to deal with any brain damage from lack of oxygen.
The weirdest part about being strangled is that you have absolutely nowhere else to look but into your strangler"s eyes. I mean, I tried to look at his nose, or over his shoulder, but it was no use. I was stuck. I had had to look deep into his eyes-the whole time wondering why in the heck he wanted so badly to "kill" me. Obviously, he had no idea that I was immortal by a.s.sociation-my father to look deep into his eyes-the whole time wondering why in the heck he wanted so badly to "kill" me. Obviously, he had no idea that I was immortal by a.s.sociation-my father was was Death-and that, while he could render me unconscious, he couldn"t do away with me definitely. Death-and that, while he could render me unconscious, he couldn"t do away with me definitely.
Staring into Marcel"s dilated pupils, I couldn"t help but muse on why someone would want to kill someone else. I understood that Death was a natural part of life, but I couldn"t reconcile murder with that scenario. Murder just seemed like the ant.i.thesis ant.i.thesis of the Natural Order of Things. Humans and other creatures willfully taking the only thing that their fellow living beings possessed-their life-and squandering it? That did of the Natural Order of Things. Humans and other creatures willfully taking the only thing that their fellow living beings possessed-their life-and squandering it? That did not not seem like something Mother Nature would condone. Death for food was a-okay in old Mother Nature"s book, but death for fun and gain-I just wasn"t feeling it. seem like something Mother Nature would condone. Death for food was a-okay in old Mother Nature"s book, but death for fun and gain-I just wasn"t feeling it.
As the pressure on my trachea increased, I felt the life essence inside me begin to ebb away, and while it didn"t scare me-not at first-it definitely didn"t feel great, either. I wanted to know why Marcel was doing this to me, but since my throat was kind of in control of my ability to speak, I was at a loss. All I could do was make gurgling sounds deep in my larynx and turn red.
Not the most flattering flattering of pictures. of pictures.
Suddenly, the pressure on my throat relaxed, and I was able to breathe again. I looked over Marcel"s head and saw Daniel crouched above us, the cup held tightly in his hands as he prepared to slam it into the back of Marcel"s head for what appeared to be the second time. His face was a terrible ashen color, and his lips were nearly bloodless, but he had a determined look in his eyes that would have scared me if it hadn"t been directed at my attacker.
"Let her go," he growled as he slammed the cup into the side of Marcel"s head. Marcel"s eyes rolled back, and he swooned on top of me, his body weight trapping me against the ground. I looked over at Daniel, hoping for some help, but Daniel had pa.s.sed out, his head only a few inches from the water.
c.r.a.p, I thought to myself, I thought to myself, how am I gonna get demented Marcel off me if Daniel isn"t gonna help? how am I gonna get demented Marcel off me if Daniel isn"t gonna help?
Using every bit of strength I possessed, I shoved at the dead weight resting on top of me. I couldn"t even budge him.
"Daniel, a little help here," I croaked, but my hero was out cold, a pool of blood forming near the base of his skull where the shirt tourniquet he"d tied around his head had loosened. I realized that I needed to get Daniel that water soon, or he really I croaked, but my hero was out cold, a pool of blood forming near the base of his skull where the shirt tourniquet he"d tied around his head had loosened. I realized that I needed to get Daniel that water soon, or he really was was going to die. going to die.
d.a.m.n it! I screamed angrily inside my head. I screamed angrily inside my head.
I had no idea how I was gonna get out of this mess. As it was, speaking was a painful exercise, and between the strangulation and the unconscious body on my chest, I could hardly catch my breath, let alone scream for help.
After a few minutes of careful thought, I decided that my only option was to do the thing I least wanted to do: I was gonna have to call for help. I closed my eyes and pictured my victim"s face in my mind"s eye.
"Kali, can you help me?" I squeaked the words out, my throat on fire. Behind me, I heard the water in the pool begin to bubble, and then two strong arms reached out and yanked Marcel"s body off me. I squeaked the words out, my throat on fire. Behind me, I heard the water in the pool begin to bubble, and then two strong arms reached out and yanked Marcel"s body off me.
"You owe me again, white girl," Kali said as she offered me her hand and yanked me back onto my feet.
d.a.m.n, the woman is strong.
I gave her a weak smile to tell her "thank you" and was glad to see that, at least this time, I hadn"t summoned her while she was in the bathtub. Today, she was wearing a flowing peach and scarlet sari, and the daintiest-looking little diamond-encrusted sandals I"d ever seen.
I am so so gonna have to find out where the woman does her shoe shopping, gonna have to find out where the woman does her shoe shopping, I thought to myself. I thought to myself. Those sandals are awesome. Those sandals are awesome.
Kali, taking in her surroundings, looked past Marcel to Daniel"s prostrate body lying in the sand, and for one horrible instant I really thought she was going to kick him right in a very "p.r.o.ne" area with those amazing sandals.
"Don"t!" I screeched, the pain in my throat making tears spring to my eyes. I screeched, the pain in my throat making tears spring to my eyes. "He saved my life." "He saved my life."
My voice was all scratchy and thick, making me feel like I"d smoked a whole carton of unfiltered cigarettes in one sitting.
"You look and sound like c.r.a.p," Kali said as she turned away from Daniel"s body and raised an eyebrow at my disheveled appearance. I shrugged, wanting to talk as little as possible.
Besides, she was was right. I could see my reflection in the pool of water that rippled happily below me, and I right. I could see my reflection in the pool of water that rippled happily below me, and I did did look like the Bride of Frankenstein. My hair was standing up straight, my throat was a ma.s.s of red and white finger marks, and my split lip was caked in blood-the wound had probably reopened when Marcel was trying to strangle me. look like the Bride of Frankenstein. My hair was standing up straight, my throat was a ma.s.s of red and white finger marks, and my split lip was caked in blood-the wound had probably reopened when Marcel was trying to strangle me.
I pointed at Daniel"s head, and Kali gave me a nasty little smile that made it pretty apparent she was all for leaving him there soaking in his own plasma. I shook my head.
"Whatcha want to do with the twenty-timing womanizer then, white girl?" she said as she stifled a yawn.
I could totally tell it was a fake yawn, that she was just trying to "show me" how disinterested she was in Daniel"s fate, but I knew it was all a front. She was without a doubt the poster girl for the bitter, jealous ex-girlfriend who was seething inside for revenge. But I owed the guy one-probably two, actually-so I was gonna make d.a.m.n sure any revenge she got was at a much later date, and without my involvement.
Squatting down beside him, I picked up the cup, ready for it to singe my fingers, but all the fire had been burned out of it. I slid the cup into the cool water and filled its body to the brim. Next, I crawled over to where Daniel lay sprawled in the sand and lifted his head onto my lap, smearing blood down my pant leg. (Now the pants matched the top.) "Head, or mouth?" I squeaked, unsure of where to administer the water. I squeaked, unsure of where to administer the water. "It"s "It"s supposed supposed to help." to help."
Kali started to shrug, but I glared at her. Instead, she put her hands on her hips and sighed.
"The head. You wanna give him all your powers, you pour it down his throat."
"Huh?" I croaked. I croaked.
"It"s what gives you your powers, dipwad," Kali said, rolling her eyes. I still didn"t understand. Kali stuck out her hip and shook her head at my stupidity.
"You fulfilled your tasks. You"re Death now, you dumb white girl."
"I am?" This was unbelievable. I had to make sure. This was unbelievable. I had to make sure. "I"m "I"m Death Death?"
"Yep." Kali giggled, suddenly finding the whole thing hilarious. hilarious. "You be The Man." "You be The Man."
Uh-oh. If Kali thinks I drank from the cup and that made me Death, then . . .
"I"m not Death," I whispered. I whispered. "He is." "He is." I pointed over to Marcel, and Kali"s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. I pointed over to Marcel, and Kali"s eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "I gave "I gave him him the cup first." the cup first."
"You what what?" Kali demanded, her lips pursed in fear.
"I let him drink out of the cup first," I stammered, my throat on fire while a little bud of fear blossomed in the pit of my stomach. I stammered, my throat on fire while a little bud of fear blossomed in the pit of my stomach.
"You"re just lucky he wasn"t at full power yet, or he would"ve killed your a.s.s, white girl," Kali hissed at me. "You better drink that water now, or I"m not responsible for what I"m gonna do to you."
I looked down at the cup, not sure that I wanted this. In fact, I was pretty sure pretty sure this was the opposite of what I wanted, actually. I had no interest in running the family business. Being the overlord of Death just did this was the opposite of what I wanted, actually. I had no interest in running the family business. Being the overlord of Death just did not not appeal. Yet here I was, faced with the ultimate decision-one I"d appeal. Yet here I was, faced with the ultimate decision-one I"d thought thought I"d made back at Sea Verge when I accepted my mother"s proposition but really hadn"t. I"d just done what everyone else I"d made back at Sea Verge when I accepted my mother"s proposition but really hadn"t. I"d just done what everyone else wanted wanted me to do so I didn"t have to make any decisions for myself . . . me to do so I didn"t have to make any decisions for myself . . .
I lifted the cup to my lips and drank.
The water was like a balm to my aching throat. I could feel it lubricating all the sore places where Marcel"s hands had-and hadn"t-been. I looked up, and Kali smiled at me.
"Congratulations, white girl. Now you"re one of us."
Those eight little words did nothing but put the fear of G.o.d in me, no matter how well-intentioned they"d been. I felt a strange stirring inside my gut, and when I looked down at Daniel"s p.r.o.ne face resting in my lap, my heart gave a lurch. Not with love, or l.u.s.t . . . but with pity. He was going to die. My body was so attuned to the ebb and flow of life that I could feel it in my every fiber.
Instinctively, I knew how to remedy Daniel"s situation.
"You"re not going to die, Daniel," I said with such firmness that the lifeblood-which had been freely flowing out of Daniel"s head up until that very moment-was immediately sucked back inside the wound with such fierceness that it made a slurping slurping sound. I watched, fascinated, while the large gash in his skull knitted back together right before my eyes. Daniel"s eyes fluttered open, and he grinned at me . . . Then he closed his eyes as I commanded his body to fall into a deep, restful sleep. sound. I watched, fascinated, while the large gash in his skull knitted back together right before my eyes. Daniel"s eyes fluttered open, and he grinned at me . . . Then he closed his eyes as I commanded his body to fall into a deep, restful sleep.
The whole thing was totally insane.
The whole thing was totally amazing.
I had never commanded anybody to do anything anything, and here I was in charge of the whole kit and caboodle of Life and Death.
I looked up at Kali, and her eyes were shining with pride like she was my mother or something. I guess having the power to forestall Death was kind of an impressive thing, especially when that power belonged to someone like me who was such a screwup in the normal world.
"I have to go tell Persephone and Wodin that you completed your tasks. You gonna be okay down here in h.e.l.l on your own, white girl?" Kali asked tentatively.
I nodded, but I wasn"t really listening to her. I was so consumed by the feeling of power that now resided inside me that I probably would"ve agreed to anything anything the Hindu G.o.ddess said. the Hindu G.o.ddess said.
In fact, I wasn"t even really watching as Kali, her body shaded by the shadow of the sickly palm tree, waded into the pool of water and disappeared, the surface of the water instantly calming as if she had never entered its embrace at all.
I found that I was content to sit in silence and contemplate my existence, to feel the thread of power running through me, and know I could call it out to do my bidding anytime I wanted.