Somehow I made sure that Elsie would be looking out for me at the same corner of the road on Friday morning, just where I had met her the day before. At any rate, I did not doubt but that she would have it in her head. And I was such a fool that it pleased me, like a cat stroked on the back, to think that Elsie was thinking about me.
It was all right having Harriet and Constantia in the house, though.
And not at all like what Elsie had feared. They were really very good to mother. And Harriet being always merry, and Constantia all the time wanting things done for her, it was good for mother, and took her mind more off her trouble.
Besides, you can"t really keep on being angry with a pair of pretty girls about a house. They brighten things wonderfully. The very sight of them does, and you can"t help it. And though both of them together were not worth an Elsie, nor half so pretty, yet they laughed more, and being town girls, of course they had any amount of nice dresses, pretty blouses, belts for the waist, and lace for their necks; while Elsie had just a white turn-over collar like a boy, and a broad brown leather belt for her blue serge dress. I gave her that belt, and she always wore blue serge, because she said that, with good brushing, she could make a not Sunday dress look almost like a Sunday one.
Well, as I say, of course all the Caws that ever were could never be like Elsie. But still it is a wonder and a marvel to me to think how much I liked having them in the house. Harriet was as merry as a grig whatever that may be; they don"t live in our parts--and pretty, too, with a piquant expression that was never twice the same. She always looked as if she were going to cheek you. And that interested you, because, not being a boy, it put you in a fret to know how she was going to set about it this time. If she had been a boy, she would have got pounded--sound and frequent.
And then Constantia! She was more "keepsake" girl than ever, and slopped about all over our plain furniture like the "window-sill" girl, and the "Romney" girl, and the "chin-on-elbows" girl--that was Cinderella. But Constantia was always dressed to the nines--no holes in her dress, and not a very big one even where her waist came through.
Oh, she was a Miss Flop from Floptown if you like! But lovely, I tell you! How everybody stared, as if they had never seen a girl with curls and big eyes that looked as if they were going to cry! They called them "dewy"--dewy, indeed! She kept an onion in her handkerchief on purpose. Once it fell out, and rolled right under the sofa. I nailed it, and in a minute had "dewy" eyes, too--right before her nose. There were gentlemen calling, too--your lawyer fellows with cuffs and d.i.c.keys! She said I was a horrid beast, but Harriet was quite jolly about it. She never "dewied" any, but kept laughing all the time. And if it had not been for thinking about Elsie and my father, she would have got a fellow to like her in time. She was the right sort. But the funny thing was, that of the two Elsie rather took to Constantia.
She never could abide Harriet. Now, I was quite different.
Now, I know all this about girls" likes and dislikes is as tangled as can be. I asked Mr. Ablethorpe about it once. And he let on that he understood all about it; but when I asked him to explain, he said that he was bound by the "professional secret."
Which was all right, as a way of getting out of it. But as for understanding about girls, and what they like and don"t, that was more than a bit of a stretcher, if one may say such a thing of a parson.
Well, on Friday morning, as I was coming down from my room, ready to go out and meet Elsie, just at the corner where stood the clock--which, as the books say, has been previously referred to in these memoirs--I came on Harriet rigged out in the smartest little dusting dress--the kind of thing that costs three shillings to buy and three pounds to make. She had her sleeves rolled up, because her arms were dimply, and she was sweeping crumbs into a dustpan. There had not been a crumb in that spot to my knowledge for ten years, but that made no matter. She was just tatteringly pretty--yes, and smart. I like that sort of girl, nearly as much as I dislike a loll-about, siesta-with-ten-cushions-and-a-spaniel girl--I mean Constantia.
Well, up jumps Harriet from her knees--quite taken aback she was--and makes believe to roll down her sleeves; but with a dustpan and a crumb-brush, of course you can"t. And so she said--
"Do them for me."
And what was a fellow to do? He can"t say "No," and look a fool--feel one, too! So I up and did it--rolled the sleeves both down, slow movement, and slid in the b.u.t.tons careful--at least, I thought so. But not, as it seemed, careful enough for Harriet. For in getting the second b.u.t.ton at the wrist through the b.u.t.tonhole I took up a bit of the skin, and then, if you please, there was a hullabaloo. You never did see! I expected mother or Constantia every minute. Harriet pretended that it hurt, and that I had done it on purpose. Silly! If I had wanted to do anything to her on purpose, it wouldn"t have been a footy little thing like that. Oh, no! I"d have given her something to remember me by. But it was all the same to Harriet, and, if you will believe me, she would not be satisfied till I had "kissed it better."
Just think what an a.s.s I looked! I didn"t want a bit to do it--indeed, I was as mad as blitz. But, to get rid of her, I did at last. And it was not so bad, only she bent down and kissed me, too, whispering that it was all right now. And just then Constantia popped her head over the banisters and said:
"Ah-ha, you two! Very pretty, indeed!"
And I had a face on me like fire as I went down the two flights of stairs in three hops.
How I stamped and raged when I got outside! To be kissed by a girl--well, that"s nothing to cry about, if n.o.body sees and you had not your mind filled with another girl, especially the former. But to get caught, and by that Constantia! I believed she had been watching from the beginning, the nasty, floppy, hang-her-out-on-a-clothes-line "keep-saker" that she was!
Worse than all, she made me miss Elsie that Friday morning, for I saw her boot tracks in the snow as soon as I got to our corner. I had fixed india-rubber heels on her boots, so I knew. She said that that sort kept her drier, but I knew very well that it was to make her taller than Harriet Caw, whom she hated.
If she had only known why I was late! But, after all, what is the use of giving pain to others unnecessarily? It was contrary to my nature and against my principles. So I resolved that I would not tell Elsie about my b.u.t.toning Harriet"s sleeve, or, indeed, anything. My great aim in life had always been Elsie"s peace of mind. Besides, I don"t think she would have taken my explanation in good part. There are some things that Elsie doesn"t seen fitted to understand.
CHAPTER XXII
ELSIE"S DIARY
(_Written in her French Exercise Book by Miss Elsie Stennis._)
I left home on Friday morning at about the usual time--perhaps five minutes sooner. It was a fine morning--wintry, bright, just enough snow underfoot to crisp the road, and enough tingle in the air to make the buds of the willows glitter with rime.
I was reading as I walked. I always do on my way to school, having learned when quite a girl. It gets over the road. Besides, if you don"t want particularly to see any one--that is a reason.
Not that I was expecting to see anybody--least of all Joe Yarrow. He had his "Caws"--let him be content. That was what I was saying to myself. But just at the corner where there is a square inset--or outset--in which they crack stones with a hammer to mend the bad places, I slackened a little. There was such an interesting piece in the French grammar--all about the rules for the conversational use of "en" and "y"--that I went a bit slower, just to make it out. The sense was difficult to follow, you know.
Besides, I heard a noise like the sound of footsteps behind me. I knew that it could only be that donkey Joe, broke loose from his rookery; so, of course, I did not turn round, nor make the least sign. Why should I, indeed? I am not Harriet Caw.
But I heard a voice, which I knew in a minute was not Joe"s, calling out--
"Miss Stennis! Miss Stennis!"
That made me turn, as, of course, it would any one, just to see who it could be.
And it was Miss Orrin--the elder one they call Aphra. You never saw such a change in any woman. She looked like a minister"s widow, or some one of good family, living quietly and dressed in mourning. She had a black dress--fine silk, it was, quite real--of an old fashion, certainly, but no more so than you see at hydropathics and other places to which old solitary ladies come for the purpose of talking over their infirmities with one another. I was once at the Clifton one with mother--oh, so long ago, before leaving Wood Green! But I seem to remember these times better than things more recent. I really can"t help telling about it, though I am wasting my paper, I know. I used to think there was nothing funnier in the world than to see two very deaf old ladies, neither taking the trouble to listen to the other, lecturing away to each other--only agreeing with the nods of each other"s head. One would be talking about the Primrose League at her native Pudley-in-the-Hole, and the other--the learned one--about the internal state of South Nigeria, as ill.u.s.trated by the fact that her grandson had not seen an ordained clergyman for four years!
"Think what his spiritual condition must be by this time, my dear!
Such things ought not to be allowed in a Christian country, under the flag of England!"
"No, indeed," agreed the other, who had not heard a word. "Of course, it was all the doing of that Gladstone. Even one of the lecturers who came to speak to us, he was all for work among the lower cla.s.ses. As if we could admit the like of them into our League--people who have strikes, wear red ties, and read Socialist papers! Really, dear, it was expecting too much, though he was an archbishop"s son!"
"Yes; and my grandson wrote home for books to read--to be sent out by a friend, an officer on a river gunboat--I think his name was Judson.
His life has been written by somebody whose books I don"t consider at all suitable for James. And so I went down to the Curates" Aid and got a list of everything likely to be of service to one who for four years had been devoid of all means of grace. But I fear they never reached my poor James. For when he came home, and I asked him about them, he did not seem ever to have read any of them. But I dare say it was that Judson"s fault. With these naval officer men you never can tell. I dare say the sailors divided them up among themselves on the voyage out!"
"Exactly. What we wanted, was, of course, to keep our League select.
No one very swell, but well connected, and all most careful about appearances----"
"And my grandson in Nigeria brought home a lot of crocodiles and a rare postage stamp, or a rare crocodile and a lot of postage stamps--I am not sure which. Anyway, I would not have it. I said he could not keep both in my house. He must give either to the Zoo. But I don"t know----"
And so on. It was fun, and now I like to remember it, though it does fill up the pages of my note-book even when I am writing very small.
Still, it is always something to do.
Well, Miss Orrin was dressed just like these ancient hydropathickers.
Only, she was as alert as a fox and as demure as a mouse, in spite of being in a kind of mourning, with a big jet crucifix on a thick jet chain. That was the only thing about her that was not as sober and serious as a fifty-year-old tombstone. She had such a lot of jet ornaments about her, all cut into symbolic shapes, that she moved with a c.l.i.tter-clatter, just like a little dog walking on a chain with fal-de-rals on its collar.
But, withal, she had such a grave air that I never once thought of laughing. Miss Aphra was not a person to laugh at in the gayest of times.
"Miss Stennis," she said, "I know you have not been well received at the house of your nearest relative. I am acquainted with all the long-continued ill-usage so unjustly dealt out to your mother and yourself. Long have I tried my best to bring your grandfather to a better frame of mind. But he is a dour old man--indurated, impervious to good influence. But what I was unable to do all these years, the near approach of death has brought about. When the angel Israfel pa.s.ses upon his wings of darkness, then the heart hears and is afraid!"
At these last words she showed a countenance as it were transfigured.
It was the first glimpse of her former madness that I observed about the woman.
"But what do you wish me to do?" I asked, knowing well that she would not seek me without a purpose.
"Your grandfather, Mr. Howard Stennis, is dying," she said solemnly.
"He has had a stroke, and may pa.s.s away at any moment. Two doctors from Longtown and East Dene have come all the way to visit him. They give no hope. But he gets no rest, crying out constantly that he cannot die without seeing you. And you must come instantly. I am here to beseech you. Behold in me the spirit of a father pleading for a daughter"s forgiveness."
She seized me by the arm. In a sudden access of terror, I wrenched myself free, and instantly Miss Orrin began to sob. She sank on her knees before me.
"I know I have no right to ask," she said. "You have been shamefully treated, and have no need to forgive. But as you hope for pardon yourself, hasten and come to your grandfather, that he may hear you pardon him before he dies. If not, the sin of his uneasy spirit will be upon your head! Besides"--her voice dropped to a whisper--"there is something that he wishes to confess to you concerning your mother. It is on his conscience. He cannot die without telling you. Come--come!
By the forgiveness you hope for yourself, or for those dear to you, I bid you come!"
I lifted her up, and obeying a sudden impulse, I turned with her down the lane which led from the corner where she had surprised me, away from the school-house. I cannot tell you how I came to do it. I had expected--why, I know not--some one else to meet me there. Well, I suppose I may say--Joe Yarrow. And the thought that he was philandering his time away with those Caws made me ready for almost anything.