""That"s wot you want," he ses, nodding.
""And, o" course," I ses, looking at "im, "there"s some people "asn"t got either one or the other."
"The office-boy came out of the office afore he could think of an answer, and the pair of "em stood there talking to show off their cleverness, till their tongues ached. I took up my broom and went on sweeping, and they was so busy talking long words they didn"t know the meaning of to each other that they was arf choked with dust afore they noticed it. When they did notice it they left off using long words, and the skipper tried to hurt my feelings with a few short ones "e knew.
""It"s no good wasting your breath on "im," ses the boy. "You might as well talk to a beer-barrel."
"He went off, dusting "imself down with his little pocket-"ankercher, and arter the skipper "ad told me wot he"d like to do, only he was too sorry for me to do it, "e went back to the ship to put on a clean collar, and went off for the evening.
"He always used to go off by hisself of a evening, and I used to wonder "ow he pa.s.sed the time. Then one night I found out.
"I had just come out of the Bear"s Head, and stopped to look round afore going back to the wharf, when I see a couple o" people standing on the swing-bridge saying "Good-bye" to each other. One of "em was a man and the other wasn"t.
""Evening, cap"n," I ses, as he came towards me, and gave a little start. "I didn"t know you "ad brought your missis up with you this trip."
""Evening, Bill," he ses, very peaceful. "Wot a lovely evening!"
""Bee-utiful!" I ses.
""So fresh," ses the skipper, sniffing in some of the air.
""Makes you feel quite young agin," I ses.
"He didn"t say nothing to that, except to look at me out of the corner of "is eye; and stepping on to the wharf had another look at the sky to admire it, and then went aboard his ship. If he "ad only stood me a pint, and trusted me, things might ha" turned out different.
"Quite by chance I happened to be in the Bear"s Head a week arterwards, and, quite by chance, as I came out I saw the skipper saying "Good-bye"
on the bridge agin. He seemed to be put out about something, and when I said "Wot a lovely evening it would be if only it wasn"t raining "ard!"
he said something about knocking my "ead off.
""And you keep your nose out o" my bisness," he ses, very fierce.
""Your bisness!" I ses. "Wot bisness?"
""There"s some people as might like to know that you leave the wharf to look arter itself while you"re sitting in a pub swilling gallons and gallons o" beer," he ses, in a nasty sort o" way. "Live and let live, that"s my motter."
""I don"t know wot you"re talking about," I ses, "but it don"t matter anyways. I"ve got a clear conscience; that"s the main thing. I"m as open as the day, and there"s nothing about me that I"d mind anybody knowing.
Wot a pity it is everybody can"t say the same!"
"I didn"t see "im saying "Good-bye" the next week or the week arter that either, but the third week, arter just calling in at the Bear"s Head, I strolled on casual-like and got as far as the bottom of Tower Hill afore I remembered myself. Turning the corner, I a"most fell over the skipper, wot was right in the fair way, shaking "ands with his lady-friend under the lamp-post. Both of "em started, and I couldn"t make up my mind which gave me the most unpleasant look.
""Peep-bo!" I ses, cheerful-like.
"He stood making a gobbling noise at me, like a turkey.
""Give me quite a start, you did," I ses. "I didn"t dream of you being there."
""Get off!" he ses, spluttering. "Get off, afore I tear you limb from limb! "Ow dare you follow me about and come spying round corners at me?
Wot d"ye mean by it?"
"I stood there with my arms folded acrost my chest, as calm as a cuc.u.mber. The other party stood there watching us, and wot "e could "ave seen in her, I can"t think. She was dressed more like a man than a woman, and it would have taken the good looks of twenty like her to "ave made one barmaid. I stood looking at "er like a man in a dream.
""Well, will you know me agin?" she ses, in a nasty cracked sort of voice.
""I could pick you out of a million," I ses-"if I wanted to."
""Clear out!" ses the skipper. "Clear out! And thank your stars there"s a lady present."
""Don"t take no notice of "im, Captain Pratt," ses the lady. "He"s beneath you. You only encourage people like that by taking notice of "em. Good-bye."
"She held out her "and, and while the skipper was shaking it I began to walk back to the wharf. I "adn"t gorn far afore I heard "im coming up behind me, and next moment "e was walking alongside and saying things to try and make me lose my temper.
""Ah, it"s a pity your pore missis can"t "ear you!" I ses. "I expect she thinks you are stowed away in your bunk dreaming of "er, instead of saying things about a face as don"t belong to you."
""You mind your bisness," he ses, shouting. "And not so much about my missis! D"ye hear? Wot"s it got to do with you? Who asked you to shove your oar in?"
""You"re quite mistook," I ses, very calm. "I"d no idea that there was anything on as shouldn"t be. I was never more surprised in my life. If anybody "ad told me, I shouldn"t "ave believed "em. I couldn"t. Knowing you, and knowing "ow respectable you "ave always purtended to be, and also and likewise that you ain"t no chicken--"
"I thought "e was going to "ave a fit. He "opped about, waving his arms and stuttering and going on in such a silly way that I didn"t like to be seen with "im. Twice he knocked my "at off, and arter telling him wot would "appen if "e did it agin, I walked off and left him.
"Even then "e wasn"t satisfied, and arter coming on to the wharf and following me up and down like a little dog, he got in front of me and told me some more things he "ad thought of.
""If I catch you spying on me agin," he ses, "you"ll wish you"d never been born!"
""You get aboard and "ave a quiet sleep," I ses. "You"re wandering in your mind."
""The lady you saw me with," he ses, looking at me very fierce, "is a friend o" mine that I meet sometimes for the sake of her talk."
""Talk!" I ses, staring at "im. "Talk! Wot, can"t one woman talk enough for you? Is your missis dumb? or wot?"
""You don"t understand," he ses, c.o.c.king up "is nose at me. "She"s a interleckshal woman; full of eddication and information. When my missis talks, she talks about the price o" things and says she must "ave more money. Or else she talks about things I"ve done, or sometimes things I "aven"t done. It"s all one to her. There"s no pleasure in that sort o"
talk. It don"t help a man."
""I never "eard of any talk as did," I ses.
""I don"t suppose you did," he ses, sneering-like. "Now, to-night, fust of all, we talked about the House of Lords and whether it ought to be allowed; and arter that she gave me quite a little lecture on insecks."
""It don"t seem proper to me," I ses. "I "ave spoke to my wife about "em once or twice, but I should no more think of talking about such things to a single lady--"
"He began to jump about agin as if I"d bit "im, and he "ad so much to say about my "ed and blocks of wood that I pretty near lost my temper. I should ha" lost it with some men, but "e was a very stiff-built chap and as hard as nails.
""Beer"s your trouble," he ses, at last. "Fust of all you put it down, and then it climbs up and soaks wot little brains you"ve got. Wot you want is a kind friend to prevent you from getting it."
"I don"t know wot it was, but I "ad a sort of sinking feeling inside as "e spoke, and next evening, when I saw "im walk to the end of the jetty with the office-boy and stand there talking to "im with his "and on his shoulder, it came on worse than ever. And I put two and two together when the guv"nor came up to me next day, and, arter talking about "dooty" and "ow easy it was to get night-watchmen, mentioned in "a off-"and sort of way that, if I left the wharf at all between six and six, I could stay away altogether.
"I didn"t answer "im a word. I might ha" told "im that there was plenty of people arter me ready to give me double the money, but I knew he could never get anybody to do their dooty by the wharf like I "ad done, so I kept quiet. It"s the way I treat my missis nowadays, and it pays; in the old days I used to waste my breath answering "er back.
"I wouldn"t ha" minded so much if it "adn"t ha" been for that boy. He used to pa.s.s me, as "e went off of a evening, with a little sly smile on "is ugly little face, and sometimes when I was standing at the gate he"d give a sniff or two and say that he could smell beer, and he supposed it came from the Bear"s Head.
"It was about three weeks arter the guv"nor "ad forgot "imself, and I was standing by the gate one evening, when I saw a woman coming along carrying a big bag in her "and. I "adn"t seen "er afore, and when she stopped in front of me and smiled I was on my guard at once. I don"t smile at other people, and I don"t expect them to smile at me.