"Ryan, do you think I"m crazy? Do you think this serial killer idea is just in my head?"
He straightened and fixed his eyes on me.
"I don"t know. I just don"t know. You could be right. Four dead women over a two-year period who"ve all been sliced up or dismembered or both. Maybe a fifth. Maybe some similarities with the mutilation. The object insertion. But that"s all. So far, no other tie. Maybe they"re linked. Maybe they"re not. Maybe there"s a truckload of s.a.d.i.s.ts out there operating independently. Maybe St. Jacques did all of them. Maybe he just likes to collect stories about the exploits of others. Maybe it"s only one person, but that person is someone else. Maybe he"s fantasizing his next outing right now. Maybe the b.a.s.t.a.r.d just planted a skull in your yard, maybe he didn"t. I don"t know. But I do know some sicko a.s.shole parked a skull in your petunias tonight. Look, I don"t want you taking chances. I want your word you"ll be careful. No more expeditions."
Again the paternalism. "It was parsley."
"What?" The edge on his voice was sharp enough to cut off any more flippant remarks.
"Just what do do you want me to do?" you want me to do?"
"For now, no more secret sorties." He hooked a thumb at the evidence bag. "And tell me who that is over there."
He looked at his watch.
"Christ. It"s three-fifteen. You going to be all right?"
"Yes. Thanks for coming."
"Right."
He checked the phone and the security system again, collected the plastic bag, and I let him out the front. As I watched his retreat I couldn"t help noticing that his eyes weren"t the only feature the jeans showed off well. Brennan! Too much tea. Or too little of something else.
At exactly four twenty-seven the nightmare started again. At first I thought I was dreaming, replaying earlier events. But I"d never really fallen asleep. I"d been lying there, urging myself to relax, allowing my thoughts to fragment and rea.s.semble like shapes in a kaleidoscope. But the sound I now heard was present and real. I recognized what it was and what it meant. The beep of the security alarm told me a door or window had been opened. The intruder was back and had gotten inside.
My heart rate launched into orbit and I felt the fear return, first suffocating and paralyzing, then triggering a rush of adrenaline that left me alert but uncertain. What to do? Fight? Flight? My fingers gripped the edge of the blanket, and my mind flew in a thousand directions. How had he gotten past the police units? Which room was he in? The knife! It was on the kitchen counter! I lay there, rigid, gauging options. Ryan had checked the phones, but I wanted to sleep undisturbed and had unplugged the one in the bedroom. Could I find the cord, locate the little triangular plug, and make a call before being overpowered? Where had Ryan said the police cars were parked? If I threw open the bedroom window and screamed, could the police hear me and react in time?
I strained to hear every movement in the darkness around me. There! A soft click. In the entrance hall? I stopped breathing. My front teeth clamped my lower lip.
A sc.r.a.pe against the marble floor. Near the entrance hall. Could it be Birdie? No, this sound had weight behind it. Again! A gentle brushing, as though against a wall, not the floor. Too high for a cat.
An image from Africa jumped into my head. A night drive in the Amboseli. A leopard, frozen in the jeep headlights, crouched, muscles taut, nostrils sucking the night air, soundlessly closing in on the unsuspecting gazelle. Was my stalker similarly in command of the darkness, picking a deliberate path to my bedroom? Cutting off escape routes? What was he doing? Why had he come back? What should I do? Something! Don"t lie there and wait. Do something!
The phone! I"d try for the phone. There were police units right outside. The dispatcher would reach them. Could I reach it without giving myself away? Did it really matter?
Slowly, I raised the blankets and rolled flat on my back. The rustling of the sheets sounded like thunder in my ears.
Something brushed the wall again. Louder. Closer. As if the intruder was more sure of himself, less inclined to be cautious.
Every muscle and tendon tense, I inched toward the left side of the bed. The pitch black of the room made it hard to get my bearings. Why had I drawn the shade? Why had I unplugged that phone for a little extra sleep? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Find the cord, find the plug, punch 911 in the dark. I made a mental inventory of the objects on the nightstand, mapping the route my hand would take. I would have to slide down to the floor to reach the telephone jack.
At the left side of the bed, I raised onto my elbows. My eyes probed the darkness, but it was too deep to distinguish features except for the bedroom door. It was faintly backlit by some appliance with a glowing dial. There was no silhouette in the doorway.
Encouraged, I eased my left leg clear of the bed and slowly, blindly, groped for the floor. Then a shadow crossed the doorway, freezing my leg in midair and locking my muscles in catatonic fear.
This is the end, I thought. In my own bed. Alone. Four cops outside, oblivious. I pictured the other women, their bones, their faces, their gutted bodies. The plunger. The statue. No! screamed a voice in my head. Not me. Please. Not me. How many screams could I manage before he was on me? Before he silenced them with one sweep of his blade across my throat? Enough to alert the police outside?
My eyes darted back and forth, frantic, like those of an animal in a trap. A dark ma.s.s filled the doorway. A human figure. I lay speechless, motionless, unable even to launch my final screams.
The figure hesitated, as though uncertain of its next move. No features. Only a silhouette framed in the entrance. The only entrance. The only exit. G.o.d! Why didn"t I keep a gun?
Seconds dragged by. Maybe the figure could not make out my outline on the very edge of the bed. Maybe the room looked empty from the doorway. Did he have a flashlight? Would he turn on the wall switch?
My mind snapped out of its paralysis. What had they taught in self-defense cla.s.s? Run if you can. I can"t. If cornered, fight to win. Bite. Gouge. Kick. Hurt him! First rule: Don"t let him get on top! Second rule: Never let him pin you down! Yes. Surprise him. If I could get to any exit door, the cops outside could save me.
My left foot was already on the floor. Still on my back, I eased my right leg toward the edge of the bed, millimeter by millimeter, pivoting on my b.u.t.tocks. I had both feet on the floor when the figure made a jerky motion and I was blinded by the glare of light.
My hand flew to my eyes and I lurched forward in a desperate effort to knock the figure aside and escape the bedroom. My right foot caught the sheet, sending me headlong onto the carpet. I rolled quickly to my left and scrambled onto my knees, turning to face my attacker. Third rule: Never turn your back.
The figure remained on the far side of the room, hand on the light switch. Only now it had a face. A face distorted by some inner turmoil at which I could only guess. A face I knew. My own face was fast forwarding through a series of expressions. Terror. Recognition. Confusion. Our eyes locked and held. Neither moved. Neither spoke. We stared at each other across the air in my bedroom.
I screamed.
"G.o.dd.a.m.n you, Gabby! You stupid b.i.t.c.h! What are you doing? What have I done to you? You b.i.t.c.h! You G.o.ddam b.i.t.c.h!"
I sat back on my heels, hands on my thighs, making no attempt to control the tears bathing my face or the sobs racking my body.
25.
IROCKED BACK AND FORTH FROM MY KNEES TO HEELS, SOBBING AND shouting. My words made little sense and when mingled with the sobbing became incoherent. I knew the voice was mine, but I had no power to stop it. Gibberish I didn"t recognize flew from my mouth as I rocked and sobbed and shrieked. shouting. My words made little sense and when mingled with the sobbing became incoherent. I knew the voice was mine, but I had no power to stop it. Gibberish I didn"t recognize flew from my mouth as I rocked and sobbed and shrieked.
Soon the sobbing won out over the shrieking and receded to a m.u.f.fled sucking sound. With one last shudder, I stopped my rocking and focused on Gabby. She, too, was crying.
She stood across the room, one hand clutching the light switch, the other pressed to her chest. Her fingers twitched open then closed. Her chest heaved with each intake of breath, and tears ran down her face. She wept silently, and seemed frozen in place except for that one clutching hand.
"Gabby?" My voice broke, and it came out "-by?"
She gave a tight nod, her dreadlocks bobbing about her ashen face. She started making little sucking sounds, as if trying to pull back her tears. Speech seemed beyond her capabilities.
"Jesus Christ, Gabby! Are you crazy?" I whispered, reasonably controlled. "What are you doing here? Why didn"t you call?"
She seemed to consider the second question, but attempted to answer the first.
"I needed to . . . talk to you."
I just stared at her. I"d been trying to find this woman for three weeks. She"d avoided me. It was four-thirty in the morning, she"d just broken into my home, and aged me at least a decade.
"How did you get in here?"
"I still have a key." More gulping sounds, but quieter, slower. "From last summer."
She moved a trembling hand from the light switch and displayed a key dangling from a small chain.
I felt anger rising in me, but my exhaustion held it in check.
"Not tonight, Gabby."
"Tempe, I . . ."
I gave her a look intended to freeze her in place once more. She stared back, not comprehending, plaintive.
"Tempe, I can"t go home."
Her eyes were dark and round, her body rigid. She looked like an antelope cut from the herd and cornered. A very large antelope, but terrified nonetheless.
Wordlessly, I pushed to my feet, got towels and linens from the hall closet and dropped them on the guest room bed.
"We"ll talk in the morning, Gabby."
"Tempe, I . . ."
"In the morning."
As I fell asleep I thought I heard her dial the phone. It didn"t matter. Tomorrow.
And talk we did. For hours and hours. Over bowls of cornflakes and plates of spaghetti. Sipping endless cappuccinos. We talked curled on the couch and on long walks up and down Ste. Catherine. It was a weekend of words, most of them pouring from Gabby. At first I was convinced she had come unglued. By Sunday night I wasn"t so sure.
The recovery team came by late Friday morning. In deference to me, they called ahead, arrived without fanfare, and worked quickly and efficiently. They accepted Gabby"s presence as a natural development. The comfort of a friend after a night of fright. I told Gabby there had been an intruder in the garden, leaving out mention of the head. She had enough on her mind. The team left with encouraging words. "Don"t worry, Dr. Brennan. We"ll get the b.a.s.t.a.r.d. You hang in there."
Gabby"s situation was as harrowing as mine. Her former informant had become her stalker. He was everywhere. Sometimes she"d see him on a bench in the park. Other times he"d follow her on the street. At night he"d hang around St. Laurent. Though she now refused to talk to him, he was always there. He kept his distance, but his eyes never left her. Twice she thought he"d been in her apartment.
I said, "Gabby, are you sure?" I meant, Gabby are you losing it?
"Did he take anything?"
"No. At least, I don"t think so. Nothing I"ve noticed. But I know he went through my things. You know how you can tell. Nothing was gone, but things were a bit off. Just sort of rotated in place."
"Why didn"t you return my calls?"
"I stopped answering the phone. It rang a dozen times a day and no one would be on the other end. Same with the answering machine. Lots of hang-ups. I just stopped using it."
"Why didn"t you call me?"
"And say what? I"m being stalked? I"ve made myself a victim? I can"t handle my own life? I thought if I treated him like the maggot he is he"d lose interest. Slither away and pupate somewhere else."
Her eyes looked tortured.
"And I knew what you"d say. You"re losing it, Gabby. You"re letting your paranoia control you, Gabby. You need help, Gabby."
I felt a stab of guilt, remembering the way I"d hung up with her last. She was right.
"You could have called the police. They"d give you protection." Even as I said it I didn"t believe it.
"Right." And then she told me about Thursday night.
"I got home about 3:30 A.M A.M. and I could tell someone had entered the apartment. I"d used the old trick of stretching a thread across the lock. Well, seeing it gone totally unnerved me. I had been in a pretty good mood since I hadn"t seen the creep all night. Also, I"d just had the locks changed, so I was feeling secure about the apartment for the first time in months. Seeing that thread on the floor just destroyed me. I couldn"t believe he"d gotten in again. I didn"t know if he was still inside and I didn"t want to find out. I bolted and came here."
Bit by bit she talked of the past three weeks, recounting incidents as they came into her head. As her narrative unfolded over the weekend, my mind rearranged the disjointed episodes into a chronology. Though the man hara.s.sing her had done nothing overtly aggressive, I saw a pattern of increasing boldness. By Sunday I began to share her fear.
We decided she would stay with me for the time being, though I wasn"t so sure what score my place would earn in a safety check. Late Friday Ryan had called to tell me the patrol unit would be there through Monday. I"d nod to them as we set out on our walks. Gabby thought they were a response to the garden intruder. I didn"t suggest otherwise. I needed to bolster her newborn sense of safety, not wreck it.
I suggested we contact the police about her stalker, but she adamantly refused, fearing their involvement would compromise her girls. I also suspected she was afraid of losing their trust and her access to them. Reluctantly, I agreed.
On Monday I left her and went to work. She planned to gather some things from her apartment. She"d agreed to stay off the Main for a while, and meant to spend time writing. For that she needed her laptop and files.
When I got to my office it was past nine. Ryan had already phoned. The scrawled message read: "Got a name. AR." He was out when I returned his call, so I went to the histo lab to check on my garden memento.
It was drying on the counter, cleaned and marked, the absence of soft tissue having made boiling unnecessary. It looked like a thousand other skulls, with its empty orbits and neatly penned LML number. I stared at it, recalling the terror it had triggered three nights earlier.
"Location. Location. Location," I said to the empty lab.
"Pardon?"
I hadn"t heard Denis come in.
"Something a realtor once told me."
"Oui?"
"It isn"t what what something is, so much as something is, so much as where where it is that often shapes our reaction." it is that often shapes our reaction."
He looked blank.
"Never mind. You took soil samples before you washed this?"
"Oui." He held up two small plastic vials.
"Let"s get them over to trace."
He nodded.
"Have X rays been done?"
"Oui. I just gave the bitewings and apicals to Dr. Bergeron."