Qin Yao’s eyes raised up in an instant towards Gu Yan. His eyes were filled with disbelief, surprise, fear, doubt, and so on, entangled in one deep mess like a deep pool. He was clearly happy, but he did not dare to show it, for fear that speaking too loud or making a move would make everything in front of him disappear, and to find out that everything before him was just an illusion.
He wished it wasn’t an illusion, even if he as being deceived again, he was willing to be.
“How could I love a human? I’ve never been able to admit this before.”Gu Yan slowly started to speak,”A human that could ever influence me should just die. But you never do, why?”
“Why would you come out and disturb my feelings?”Gu Yan looked deeply at Qin Yao, speaking to him in an icy tone.
Gu Yan could not stop his actions, so he simply gave up resisting. He was still quite interested to know what he was going to say. He would never have thought that he would say this, he could see that whatever was controlling him knew very well where Qin Yao’s weak spot was.
This is very bad.
Because he could see the ripples in Qin Yao’s eyes.
But this was not over yet.
“Even though you are stronger than me in this world, it still would not be impossible if I really wanted to kill you, I would……even have a lot of chances to.”Gu Yan revealed a self-deprecating smile,”But I didn’t do it. I was actually unable to put my hand on a human, even though I’m a demon.”
“You always tell me you love me, but from what I can see, I am the greatest loser here.”Gu Yan continued coldly:”If I’d have killed you early on, or even killed you completely at that time when I could, would whatever came later never happen?”
“Or maybe, I’ve already long been successful.”
Qin Yao’s lips trembled, but he could not speak.
Gu Yan raised his lips up into an emotionless smile”You have always bound me in the name of love, but now you know my decision, but you still have to stop me. Even if you know that would make me unhappy, you are still determined to stop me. So, you’re very selfish, and I——To think my heart would actually move for a selfish human, even if I’ve lost, I asked for it, didn’t I?”
“No……”Gu Yan’s throat was bobbing, and his eyes showed a look of pleading.
“Don’t try reasoning me with your strange logic, stop saying you’re doing this all for me. You know what it is I want, I’m a demon, I’ll never give up opening the pa.s.sage. You stopped me, and I won’t be happy for it.”Gu Yan scoffed,”Being locked up by you, living a meagre life in human society, what meaning is there in such a life? I might as well be dead.”
“Perhaps I may have been better off dead in the past, that wasn’t your fault, but in my life now, it is.”Every word that came from Gu Yan’s mouth was sharp as a dagger, he did not show him any mercy at all!
When he finally said his last words, Gu Yan was desperate to stop himself, but there was no use.
No, this was not what he wanted to tell him, he had never blamed Qin Yao, how could he? Amongst those who knew, Qin Yao was the only one who never changed how he felt towards him. Perhaps, QIn Yao was wrong in the past, but since his last life, his feelings for him had never wavered.
None of this now was Qin Yao’s fault.
For him to fall into such a situation and never blaming anyone, this was his own choice.
But not only did that d.a.m.ned existence controlled his body, it still wanted to play with his feelings, hurting those he cared about.
It was so cruel.
Gu Yan felt so bad it was difficult to breathe, but not a single hint of it was shown on his expression.
This was the punishment the demon lord had for him, he was being punished for his betrayal.
He had actually figured this was so when he first got controlled. Except for the demon lord, he could not think of anything else that could control him like this. It had to be known that he was a high-tier demon. Even in the demon world, he was an existence that stood at the top of the food chain. But to say whether he was strong or not, everything, be it a high-tier or low-tier demon……they were things the demon lord could control if he wanted to.
He did not know this in the past, n.o.body knew what the demon lord was. In the eyes of those foolish demons, perhaps, the demon lord was just the strongest of the demons. In truth, that was not the case. The demon lord could be an even more terrifying existence, he existed within the hearts of the demons. He was the very embodiment of evil.
All of them——were nothing more than the puppets of evil.
To fall, was also to give up on yourself.
Gu Yan regretted his past decision, the decision that forced him into this situation where they had to push each other into this vicious cycle.
Since he could not let go of his past persistence, then why should he give up so easily?
He might as well die while he was ahead.
Qin Yao’s face was so pale you could barely see any hint of colour on it. He kept silent with both his hands clenched into fists.
“There’s something humans say, if there’s no love, then there can be no hate.”Gu Yan slowly started up again as he tilted his eyes towards Qin Yao, speaking with a cool tone,”I think I finally understand what it means to hate.”
Qin Yao finally took a step back.
Perhaps, this was what it felt like to fall from heaven to h.e.l.l.
Finally, Qin Yao rushed out. His steps were anxious and the image of his back appeared bleak, every step he took was devoid of his usual calm.
Gu Yan watched Qin Yao’s figure as he left, and he sighed in the depths of his heart.
He knew that this was only the start of things, it hasn’t ended yet. Before he got what he wanted, there was no way the demon lord would let go of a chess piece like him.
Gu Yan closed his eyes and tried to speak within his heart, but he got no response at all.
Whatever was controlling him did not seem to want to communicate with him at all. Perhaps, he was only an insignificant being in the eyes of the demon lord. If not for the fact that he still held some use to him, he may have killed him long ago.
…………………………
Ever since Qin Yao had left from being pressured by Gu Yan, he never went back.
n.o.body else seems to be in this villa besides Qin Yao, so if he doesn’t come, then Gu Yan would have trouble even finding a shadow of a person coming by. He did not need to eat or drink either, so he did not need to be cared for. When Qin Yao was not around, his body was not controlled. But since he was still tied up by the rope, he could not even get off the bed. It felt like there’s no difference at all……Laying there every single day and not being able to fall asleep without a care in the world, he could only think about nonsense all day.
And when he started to think, he would recall a lot of things from the past.
It felt like the gap in his mind had disappeared completely after he figured everything out, and made this decision.
Many memories that did not make senses were slowly becoming clear.
In the blink of an eye, more than a thousand years have pa.s.sed. Those days, he would practically offer up all of himself to protect this world. But now, he had turned into a demon to destroy this world that he had once cherished so much, fate really was funny.
He also recalled many things about Qin Yao, like how he was a boy he had casually picked up back then.
When they met again, he had already grown into this appearance. It was a gratifying feeling.
Thinking back on those words he said to him a few days ago, Gu Yan’s eyes were still. He……To think that he would actually say such things to Qin Yao. Besides sadness, he also felt an indescribable sense of embarra.s.sment, as if something he had been hiding in his heart this time had been jostled and broken.
Did he love Qin Yao?
For the him of the past, Qin Yao was just a boy. He protected him, cared for him, taught him, but he had also enjoyed the companionship and admiration of Qin Yao. They used to have a friendly teacher-student relationship, it was nothing, but it had always been more intimate than anything else.
Speaking of it, he was unwilling to accept being called master by Qin Yao back then, because he did not believe he had fulfilled his responsibility as a master.
But i Yao insisted on it, he even told him that he was the only person he would call his master.
Without realizing, a smile curved up on Gu Yan’s lips……But it was fleeting.
They had also had great moments together in the past, but that was only for a few years……After that, the demons started to cause chaos. He was afraid that he would not be able to protect Qin Yao, so he sent him to the cultivators.
But who knew that it would become their last meeting.
He died after that. He was not surprised that he would die, the dissatisfaction the emperor had for him had become more and more obvious by the day.
But he did not care too much about it. Besides, he had already done what he needed to do. There was no use for him now, n.o.body needed him any longer, n.o.body welcomed him, for those in the capital, he was the most despicable monster they had ever seen, he blocked the paths of those that were worthier, and he was a burden in the eyes of his parents.
That’s why it was fine if he died.
When he died, he only had some apologies. He did not want to drag anyone into it, but he still ended up dragging in his family.
He still had some regret, that he was unable to see Qin Yao one last time before he died. Qin Yao never came back, so he didn’t even know whether he lived his life well in the mountains or not.
Gu Yan blinked. It felt like he had finally walked out from the fog.
Only to end up in another.
He would never have expected Qin Yao to hold such feelings for him, such deep and heavy feelings.
The Qin Yao of the past had never revealed this, and in his eyes, Qin Yao had always been a child. But this child would have to grow up sooner or later. After not seeing each other for a thousand years……He had turned strong, he had grown up, so these feelings could finally reveal themselves.
Gu Yan felt a little helpless about this, but secretly, he felt happy as well. Because, no matter how Qin Yao was, the person he cared about most would still be him.
WHen he realized this, he started to feel panicked about his own feelings. When did this start? When did his feelings for Qin Yao change as well? Even though he had been very important to him from the start, it was still different, wasn’t it?
His boy, who had not changed since the very beginning, and he did not wish for him to change either.
His boy, who had actually liked him this much, he did not feel dislike it either.
Could this be considered a way of liking someone as well?
He always knew that no matter how he looked at it, Qin Yao was unique to him. But he had also never once seen him through the eyes of ‘love’, until he was finally forced to say it.
Those words had not come out because he willed them, and most of what was said were also untrue.
But some feelings within them seemed to be forcing him to admit it, so that he had to face it with no escape.
To face him, to face the fact that he may also be in love with Qin Yao.
That feeling had been gradually changing since a very, very long time ago. Under Qin Yao’s persistence, it had changed into something else just as he wished.
Planted deeply within his heart.
But for him, there was always many regrets in life.
Just like last time, he may have to end up being sorry to Qin Yao again. The reason he had never dared to immerse in those feelings Qin Yao offered him from the start because he was afraid of his own heart, he didn’t dare to sink further. But now that he had realized his feelings, there was still no way for him to give him his response. The one who should be dead was him, not Qin Yao; the one who should disappear was him, not this beautiful world.
Things have already been decided, why did he have to say it out? To obtain pity? Then he might as well just go on like this.
His existence had always been the extra……Gu Yan chuckled softly to himself. He had already gotten used to this a long time ago.
But to accept these facts once again would make even him a little upset.
The sound of footsteps suddenly rang out from outside, and Gu Yan was very familiar with that sound: Qin Yao has come.
He finally dared to come, did he? He really doesn’t learn. Ever since he found out his ident.i.ty, bloodshed would always happen, but he still wouldn’t give up.
Gu Yan was a little sad, he knew that he was going to lose control of his body again. The demon lord would never allow him to destroy everything, and since his intentions have already been revealed, he would never give him a chance to switch sides.
He just didn’t know what this body was going to do later on.
Qin Yao really shouldn’t have come.
“Sorry for not coming to see you these few days.”Qin Yao came to Gu Yan’s side and spoke to him in a gentle tone.
Gu Yan found that he indeed had trouble speaking again, so he just watched him quietly. But he did feel rather surprised in his heart, he thought that Qin Yao would’ve run off because of the shock he gave him, but wasn’t that so? He had actually gone out for business?
“I know there are many things about me you’re unhappy about, but that should be normal. After all, I was the one who was wrong to begin with.”Qin Yao spoke, trying to maintain that smile on his face as he did,”I’m sorry for leaving you here by yourself, let’s go for a walk.”
With a wave, the ropes around Gu Yan’s body had been released, shrinking and making its way to Qin Yao’s palm.
Qin Yao put the rope away and reached out to support Gu Yan:”I won’t tie you up again.”
Gu Yan was quite surprised, but he still did not open his mouth to speak.
Has Qin Yao really decided to let him go after receiving that shock? Gu Yan could not help but feel his heart sink. If he really regained his freedom, then the demon lord may control his body first thing after that to try to open the pa.s.sage again. It was not a wise decision to let him go at this time, but there was no way he could tell him this.
“The weather is pretty good today.”Qin Yao’s voice seemed very relaxed, but his stiff actions revealed the unease within his heart.
Gu Yan finally walked out of the villa. As he said, the weather outside really was pretty good.
He did not act rashly, instead, he followed quietly by Qin Yao as he walked. They really looked like two people taking a walk. Qin Yao was a little silent, but he would still say a few words to him every now and again, and even if he did not have anything to say, he would try his best to muster up a topic.
This situation was truly very awkward. Gu Yan sighed in his heart, even he felt those words were too much, shouldn’t it be worse for Qin Yao?
The demon lord was, after all, the best at playing with people’s hearts. He knew what Qin Yao was most bothered and afraid about that, but he stuck the knife in deep, so how could Qin Yao continue going against him? How could he ever dare to continue hurting him?
The two walked side by side just like an old couple. Qin Yao’s manor was very huge, so they had not finished their walk even after a long while had pa.s.sed.
But how big could it be?
They were two adult men, even if they were walking slowly like one normally would, their walk would still come to its end. Gu Yan saw the gates at the front, and started to feel a little tense. Is Qin Yao going to take him out? Is he really letting him go, just like this?
When they were about to reach the iron gates, Qin Yao suddenly stopped. He put on a meek smile,”Let’s go back, we still haven’t went around that side.”
Gu Yan kept his eyes still for a moment, then, as expected, he heard himself speak,”Why aren’t we going out? I want to look at things outside.”
Qin Yao kept silent.
Gu Yan’s face cooled and shoved Qin Yao’s hand away, then turned around to walk outside immediately after. Qin Yao did not stop him, he only watched as Gu Yan stretched his hands out towards the iron gates. But the instant he touched them, it was like he had suddenly touched electric! A flash of white light beamed past the iron gates, and disappeared without a trace. The gates turned back to normal once more.
Gu Yan looked around, the railings at the side still looked ordinary. But he knew that he could not walk out of here.
He finally knew what Qin Yao had been busy with these days, he really spared a lot of effort. He actually created such a large spell to trap him in.
Gu Yan laughed to himself within his heart, but he did not know if that was due to joy, or sadness. Joyful, because Qin Yao did not intend to let him go; sad, because he was going to become a caged bird. But there was nothing he could do now, no use complaining.
This has already become a contest between the demon lord and Qin Yao.
Gu Yan could feel his body stiffen for a moment, as if he could feel a sense of rage emanating from a faraway place. Then, he felt his head turned again, and he heard himself say,”Actually, you don’t have to do this, there’s no way I can escape your palm at all.”
“I……”Qin Yao pursed his lips as if he wanted to say something.
Gu Yan cut him off,”You’ve spent so much effort, but isn’t that just because you want me? Why bother putting on a gentle and considerate appearance, aren’t you tired? Actually, I may not necessarily refuse you if you would have just spoken out directly. Even though I don’t like being bothered by humans, it’s nothing bad if it’s you. The strong commands the world, you’re stronger than me, so what if you break the rules a little? Even though I hate it when you stop me and imprison me, as a prideful demon, I don’t hate being shown affection. Besides, a demon would only submit to an existence stronger than itself, if you were not a human, but rather, the same as I am, you might have even subdued me long ago.”
“What are you saying——”Qin Yao looked at him in shock.
“I’m saying that you’re being too much of a hypocrite, and there’s no reason for it.”Gu Yan put on a mocking smile. Then, he went forward and kissed Qin Yao’s lips.
He could feel Qin Yao’s body stiffen in an instant. The shock made it so that he reacted very slowly to Gu Yan’s actions. Gu Yan did not care at all, he kissed him with even more force, even trying to pry open Qin Yao’s teeth in a pa.s.sionate and lingering kiss.
But Qin Yao was rigid for only an instant before he pushed Gu Yan away from him abruptly. He spoke with a voice that was hurried and deep,”This isn’t what I want you to do.”His eyes were clearly dyed in his desires, but he restrained himself.
“So you don’t want it?”The tip of Gu Yan’s tongue curled up to lick his lips in a seductive manner as he looked at him with upturned eyes, and a meaningful smile.
Qin Yao looked deeply at him and his face stiffened.
Gu Yan stepped forward and put his arms over Qin Yao’s shoulder, slowly moving himself downwards, and finally stopping at his chest. He raised his head to look at Qin Yao,”But this is what I want to do. I’ve been bored when you closed me up all those days, you’re going to bore me to death if I’m not allowed to look for some fun. If you can’t resist, then you’ll just have to learn to bear with it, let yourself feel nice for once. Why do this to yourself? You know I’m just a demon anyway……”Gu Yan raised his head up and leaned in close to Qin Yao’s ear, speaking to him in a coy and deep voice,”You don’t have to treat me as a human at all, that won’t make me happy. Since you’ve decided to close me up, then you might as well keep me happy, It’s not like I’m asking you to let me out……Are you going to refuse me even in this? I remember, didn’t you want it very badly last time?”
“Is this really what you want?”Qin Yao looked at Gu Yan. A desolate look flashed past his eyes, but he closed them.
Gu Yan did not answer him. Instead, he kissed him again.