My plan to ask him out had washed away in a stream of consciousness c.r.a.p. I sighed.
"I must sound stupid. I just thought we"d have a nice night." I picked up a rag and started to wipe down the clean bar. "Six o"clock, if you change your mind."
Chapter Fourteen.
Colt When I left Krista polishing the bar that afternoon, I wasn"t sure if I"d show up. But now, I was glad I did.
Becky chattered on, telling me all about The Wizard of Oz. She was a lot like my nephew. Just be interested in whatever she was interested in and we got along great.
She had picked up those new dance steps right away. When the song came on the movie, she jumped up and started practicing. Krista helped her out and the two of them put on a show. Krista could have been a dancer too. It was obvious where Becky got her talent.
After the little show, the girls settled down and watched the movie. Becky got scared and cuddled up to me during the apple trees. By the time we left the Emerald City, she had pa.s.sed out.
It was the best night I"d ever spent with a woman.
I was part of the family. I was the one clapping at Becky"s show, laughing when Krista wiped a bit of ice cream on Becky"s nose, and I was the one imitating the munchkins" song on the movie.
My cut hung on the back of a kitchen chair and I had kicked off my boots a while ago and put them on the linoleum by the door. f.u.c.k, I wanted to come home to this apartment every night.
Krista was different from Tina. Tina and I had started out partying and then we just never stopped. Then Tina had started plotting about how to betray me. How to use our relationship for money. She traded secrets about me to the G.o.dd.a.m.n DEA. Everything with Tina had been fake, just a way for her to exploit me. But with Krista, it was real. There was no alcohol haze to convince me she was a good person, Krista just was.
I was moving pretty fast, but only because I didn"t have that much time. On our second night together, I"d asked Krista to be with me and probably scared the s.h.i.t out of her. She gave me a second chance, and now I was sitting on her couch like I f.u.c.king belonged here.
Too bad Krista didn"t know what she wanted. I needed to get up and end this G.o.dd.a.m.n fantasy before I got myself deeper into a pit of broken dreams.
"You want to help me put her to bed?" Krista whispered. I nodded. I could do that. "Can you pick her up? I"d like to try and get her to bed without waking her."
Leaning to the other side, I picked up Becky. It was kind of awkward at first, like picking up a bag of ammo from the bottom, it spread out and was hard to keep together. I jostled her around a second until I was holding her more securely.
Krista grabbed the little blanket that was covering her. "Her room is back this way."
I placed Becky on her bed and Krista removed her tap shoes. We both covered her up. She was so innocent. She was a kid, unspoiled and new. Life hadn"t yet screwed her up. Leaning against the doorframe, I watched her sleep.
Something light brushed my arm. Krista"s fingers. It must be time for me to go. I turned and found Krista just an inch away from me.
She was standing in front of me, barefoot in pajamas. A lot like the other night when I beat the s.h.i.t out of her ex and put her on the back of my bike. The night I knew I wanted her.
It had been three years since I was with a woman. It wasn"t like riding a bike where you instantly remember. I was rediscovering happiness, l.u.s.t-it all came tumbling in at once and felt too fresh, so new. Like I"d never felt it before, and I wanted more. I wanted it all.
She took a step closer. Even with two layers of clothes between us, I could feel her nipples rubbing against my chest.
We"d been here before, though. I"d made a move and she"d pushed me away, so, I waited. Like a G.o.dd.a.m.n eighth grader. I waited as she rose up on her toes to reach my lips.
Soft and plump, perfect against my mouth. I wanted more, but she wasn"t kissing me back. Our lips just happened to be touching here in the hallway. f.u.c.k, I wanted to pull her over my c.o.c.k and end this torture. Instead I sucked on her bottom lip, hoping she would open her mouth to me. She"d started it, but now she was frozen. I wanted my tongue on her, in her. I wanted it all. But she still remained stiff.
I put my arms around her. She softened and I felt her open her mouth. She was finally kissing me back. She whimpered a little and pushed me away. Instantly, I let her go and stepped back.
f.u.c.k. She was the one who kissed me first. I didn"t want another scene like we"d had last time, so I put my hands up in the air and shook my head. "I didn"t mean for that to happen. I"ll leave right now."
I brushed past her and headed for the front door. It was time to go. I had broken my promise and there was nothing left to do but leave. The more I stuck around, the worse it was going to be.
"Wait!"
I didn"t stop. There was no point. If I stopped, there was no good ending to this situation, so I might as well just go. f.u.c.k, I didn"t want this hallucination to end. The unconditional love, the laughter, the beautiful woman standing in front of me. I didn"t want to leave any of it.
She brushed past me in the living room and skidded to a stop. "Yellow."
Why was she naming some random color? Was this some sort of game I didn"t understand?
"You said last night that you may not know my favorite color, but you know me." Krista took a deep breath. "My favorite color is yellow."
"Why are you telling me this?" I shrugged on my jacket and walked to the door.
"Can I change my mind?"
My hand stopped on the doork.n.o.b. She was s.h.i.tting me, playing some cruel game. I"d survived a lot of f.u.c.ked-up s.h.i.t. Prison, drug deals, fights, murders, and betrayal by my woman. But I swore right there that if she was f.u.c.king playing with me, I"d leave Tacoma and take whatever punishment my club deemed fit. They"d probably beat me b.l.o.o.d.y, but it was better than dealing with another lying woman.
I searched her eyes looking for that spark. That tiny little bit of knowing and desperation that meant she was trying to play me.
It wasn"t there. Her eyes held just tears and need. I knew that same feeling.
Chapter Fifteen.
Krista I threw my arms around Colt"s neck and kissed him. There was no preamble. He wanted me, I wanted him. But he tore me away.
"Tell me you want a relationship, or this stops. I"ve already explained what I want," he said, just like last time. "I can"t keep doing this starting and stopping."
I nodded. I was ready. This was what I wanted.
"I haven"t felt anything like this for a long time." I swallowed, trying to think of what to say next. "I want to try."
Tonight"s kiss had been more personal than any touch from any other man. The way he"d started slow, testing things out, he showed that he wanted more than just s.e.x. He had been telling me that he cared for me. It was like he was touching my soul. I wanted to feel it again.
I looped my arms around his neck and he kissed me. Our tongues fought for dominance inside my mouth. As we moved, his beard sc.r.a.ped against my chin. This was what I wanted. Here he was unguarded, raw.
I was finally free to explore the body I had been admiring for the last few days. He groaned as I stroked his neck and moved my hands over his leather-clad shoulders. Slipping my hands under his shirt, I felt his chest, hard and warm. I wanted to curl up against him after we were done.
I wanted. Holy s.h.i.t. I wasn"t focusing on him or his needs and wants like I did with my customers. I was just enjoying being in the moment and being with him.
His hand slid from my waist to my breast. I gasped. I was still wearing my bra, but his fingers found my nipple through the satin and he squeezed. The heat between my legs intensified, as if my body knew an o.r.g.a.s.m was near.
He tore his lips from mine. I wanted to protest, but then he started kissing my neck and ma.s.saging my a.s.s and I didn"t care.
"I want tonight to be all about you," he whispered against my neck. "I"ve been waiting to wrap my mouth around your c.l.i.t since the moment I saw you sit on my bike."
His hand moved around the front, and he cupped me. I was hot and ready. We took a couple of steps back and he leaned me against the couch.
He trailed his nose along my cheek. "Can you be quiet, babe? I want your p.u.s.s.y right here, right now. Can you do that for me?"
His hands swirled up over my b.r.e.a.s.t.s and he ma.s.saged them as he waited for his answer. I was breathless, there was no way I could actually speak, so I just nodded.
He kissed me again as he pulled my pajama pants down and left me exposed. I let out a moan as he traced my slit with his finger.
In an instant, he dropped to his knees and hooked my leg over his shoulder, my everything open to his eyes.
I was used to guys seeing me naked-it was part of my job description. But seeing me that close and aroused, that was a different story. I tried to cover myself with my hand, but he pulled it away.
"I can"t have anything between us. No lies, no secrets, nothing."
Then he licked. It was just a tiny flick of his tongue over my lips, but I melted. One hand on the couch, one hand on his head, I struggled to keep my balance.
Pushing my thighs open a little more, he began to make love to me. There was no other phrase that would describe it. It wasn"t f.u.c.king, getting it on, it was making love-with his mouth. Every lick, every suck was divine. I couldn"t stay quiet, the moans just escaped my mouth as he learned me. He learned what I liked, how I liked it. He dragged his teeth over my c.l.i.t as he sucked, and the o.r.g.a.s.m hit, hard and fast.
I tried to grab his hair, but it was too short. Instead I held his head against my body as I rode his face. Wave after wave hit me, and I shattered.
Once the world came back into view, he picked me up and walked back toward my bedroom. He kept the lights off as he laid me on the bed. I was thankful because I knew reality would come rushing back in, and I wanted everything before the night ended.
He shed his jacket and his cut and then his shirt. I could see him outlined in the moonlight. Powerful, built. I wanted to run my fingers over every inch.
"You like that?" He flexed and then laughed. I laughed too.
He shucked his jeans and lay beside me. His fingers played over my pajama top as he started to unb.u.t.ton it. "Are you sure you want to do this? I don"t want you to wake up with regrets tomorrow."
I ran my hand over the stubble on his cheek. It was still wet-from me.
"I want you, tonight."
It was all I could think to say. My brain was operating purely on s.e.x and I needed him now. I wrestled out of my shirt and he pulled me against him. His d.i.c.k was hard and hot against my body, and I groaned.
My entire body was a ball of need. I had a taste of him on the couch, but I wanted more. Anything he had to give, I was desperate for it.
"Babe, I want you so bad that this might go a little fast," he groaned.
"I just want you to stop talking."
I hooked my legs around his waist and he pushed inside. There was no pain, no invasion, just the slide of skin on skin. I wanted this, I wanted him, and so did my body. Once he was in fully, he paused and kissed me. He wasn"t soft or wild like before, but somewhere in the middle. Confident. This was right, we both knew it.
He pulled out and thrust back in. It was so much. I wanted so much. I wanted to make this good for him too.
"Is that okay?" I asked. "Do you want something different?"
I wasn"t sure what he wanted. With johns, I would ask before we started. If they had any specific requests, it was better to know in advance. But with Colt, I"d been too busy having an o.r.g.a.s.m on the couch. I"d been thinking of myself, not how to please him.
He kissed my neck and thrust in again. "Babe, all I want you to do is enjoy yourself."
I nodded. He was moving faster now and it was all I could do to keep quiet. When I couldn"t stand it, I let out a moan.
"Just relax," he panted. "Enjoy."
He was right. I needed to relax, stop thinking like I was on the job. I pushed everything from my mind and focused on him. His back muscles bunched and stretched against my legs. I explored his chest and abs with my fingertips as my o.r.g.a.s.m began to set fire inside me.
I clutched his neck as I began to shudder with the force of it. Was it always like this? Or was it special because it was Colt?
He growled and then I felt it. My body flooded with heat as he gave two last hard thrusts. We had forgotten a condom.
We both rode the aftershocks of the o.r.g.a.s.m back to reality. I snuggled into bed with my head on his shoulder.
"Babe? Where did you go? I thought I lost you at the end," he whispered against my hair.
No point in trying to hide anything. We were both naked after mind-blowing s.e.x-I couldn"t hide anything from him if I tried.
"We forgot a condom. But I know I"m clean," I rea.s.sured him. He didn"t seem shook up at all that he"d just had unprotected s.e.x with a hooker, but I didn"t want him to worry.
He smiled and stroked my cheek. "I"m clean too. It"ll be fine."
"And I"m on the pill, so it"s okay, I guess." I cringed. I knew I should stop talking, but I just had to rea.s.sure him. "I haven"t really made love to anyone since-"
He put his fingertips on my lips.
"Shhh." He moved his fingers and kissed me. "This is just about us. No one else, okay?"
He tilted my face to his and touched his lips to mine. Colt was probably right. I shouldn"t be mixing work and my personal life.
His kiss was sweet, so sweet. I explored his mouth with my tongue, something I hadn"t done earlier. He relaxed and let me kiss him. Let me determine the next move.
Some clients wanted to be the aggressor, other clients wanted me to take the lead. During a trick, my mind was always focused on the customer"s needs, how to best get him off. But tonight had been about me, my desires. Colt had wanted to please me, not just get his money"s worth.
We weren"t kissing anymore; he had pulled back. I started to say something, but he was first. "You wanna tell me what you"re thinking about? "Cause it"s not me."
There was no harshness to his voice, just curiosity. He gave me a squeeze.
I shook my head. The last thing I wanted to do was tell Colt what I was thinking about. He may be okay with the fact that I turned tricks, but being compared to a john is not something I wanted to share with him.
He gave me another squeeze. "Let"s get under the covers, I think you"re getting cold."
After a moment of maneuvering, we were snuggled beneath the blanket. I hadn"t really expected him to follow me, because, well, that would imply that he was staying. He talked like we were already committed, but one night together did not make a relationship.