This lack of significant magic made the Seventh Wavers feel inferior, which tended to isolate them even more. They were poorly equipped to defend themselves against the depredations of dragons, who liked to tease them by s.n.a.t.c.hing them up, toasting them with fire, and feeding smoked pieces to their offspring. Often the more talented other Wavers were as bad, abducting them for slaves. They retreated to the deepest wilderness in the most unexplored region of Xanth, but there were violent ogres there who hara.s.sed them by twisting them into pretzel shapes, hurling them into orbit around the moon, and other nuisances. So they built a castle under Lake Ogre, around the vortex that was the gateway to the underworld, and there they were able to hide-until the demons came up from below to interfere with them by molesting their women and twisting their men"s heads around to face backward on their bodies.
"We have to have more magic!" they concluded at last. So in the year 400 they set up a research group to discover the secret of magic talents. It was an ambitious undertaking. They did not want to wait another generation for stronger magic to develop in their offspring; they wanted actually to learn to manipulate the talents they already had, to make them more effective immediately. It was called the Talent Research Group, headed by the good man Hydrogen, whose talent was to make dirty water become clean. This was considered to be the best talent the Seventh Wave had produced, which was why he was put in charge. Even so, it was not phenomenal, because anyone could duplicate his feat by pouring water through a bag of sand, and changing the sand every so often.
Morris paused in the narrative, and there was a silence. Jenny had found herself seeing the group of people, beset by dragons, hostile folk, and ogres, finally hiding in the great Ogre Lake and trying to find magic. Now she realized that this was only the background. It was time for the players to play.
"Oh, Hydrogen," she said. "How are you going to find the secret of magic talents?"
Kim realized that it was her turn. "Why, er, we"ll just have to study the matter and see what we can come up with." Then, realizing that that was inadequate, she added: "Bee, go call the others together. We"ll have a brain-storming session."
"A storm on a brain?"
Kim laughed. "Who knows? That might be good magic! But what I meant was that we should have a good talk about it, and see what ideas we can come up with. We can"t do anything if we don"t have a good plan of action."
So Bee called the others: "Hey, others! Come together! Hydrogen wants to storm your brains."
There was a shuffle of feet, and when Jenny closed her eyes again she seemed to see a number of people coming to join them. Soon her dream took better hold, and she saw them clearly. "We are here," one of them said. His voice didn"t even sound too much like Morris".
"I want you all to make suggestions," Hydrogen said. "Any suggestions, no matter how silly they might sound. Because the good idea we need may be the one that seems too silly for anyone else to consider. No negative comments are allowed."
"I have heard it said that there is unity in strength," someone said. "I have noticed that our weak talents are sort of similar. Is it possible that we could get together and reinforce each other"s talents, making one big strong talent?"
"It"s an idea," Hydrogen agreed.
"But it has never been done before," someone objected. "In Xanth, talents never repeat" Then, receiving the stares of the others: "Oops! That was negative, wasn"t it! I take it back."
"Could we change our talents by mimicking others?" another asked. "All orienting on the same talent?"
"That"s another idea, in harmony with the first," Hydrogen said.
"How about a talent that will set the ogres back?" another asked. "Like maybe a powerful curse?"
It seemed good to Hydrogen. So they got together and tried to emulate the one who had a faint power of cursing. And it worked. At first all they could do was produce a floating voice saying $$$$! But in time that unified curse became strong enough to wilt nearby foliage.
After a year they took their group curse out into the field for field testing. A brute of an ogre stood in the field. "Me see he flea!" he exclaimed as he advanced on the group, ready to squish the flea with one swat of a hamfist.
"One," Hydrogen said, counting. "Two. Three!"
They all threw their pieces of the curse together, directly at the ogre. It detonated in front of his face. $$$$! It scorched his eyebrows and burned the fur of his nose.
Temporarily blinded, the ogre stumbled away, swiping at the air. He wasn"t retreating, because ogres didn"t know how to do that. He was merely advancing in the wrong direction.
"It worked!" Bee cried jubilantly. "The curse foiled the ogre!"
But it wasn"t strong enough to foil a group of ogres. So they returned to their laboratory and labored for another year. In that time they developed the curse to such a strength that it could blow an ogre into the next scene, la feet, they were now able to drive the ogres away from Lake Ogre, forcing them to start their long trek across the length of Xanth to the Ogre fen Ogre Fen. The Talent Research Group was a success.
"But it is not enough to handle dragons," Hydrogen said grimly. "We must keep working." So they had another brainstorming session, and looked for something even more potent. They also set to work training the rest of the Seventh Wavers to unify their talents, because though each person"s magic was small, the accretive effect was large. They began to call themselves the Curse Friends, but those on the receiving end of the curses preferred to call them the Curse Fiends. That was all right; their neighbors were learning respect, thanks to Hydrogen"s Talent Research Group.
In three more years they had their second breakthrough: they discovered how to expand their talents. Now Hydrogen focused on his original ability to clean water, and learned how to tap the basic elemental forces so that he could permanently enhance the properties of any substance. Loudspeaker, a member of me group, was now able to expand his talent of amplifying his voice, and could use it to create Words of Power. Other group members enhanced their own simple talents. In the course of me next several years, eight of them managed to build up their talents enough to enable them to qualify as Magicians. What a change from their former puniness!
But now came unforeseen consequences of power. Each person, having tasted more of it than he had ever believed possible, wanted yet more. Resentments flared. Others wondered openly why Hydrogen should be the leader, when there were now many excellent talents. Hydrogen tried to maintain peace, but people who had been nice and mild and powerless now were grasping and savage. Power had corrupted them in direct proportion to its increase.
Then Loudspeaker did the unspeakable: he used his Words against his own people. He used an especially potent Word to turn the other members of the research group into green chobees, who promptly fled to Lake Ogre, where they were lost. They remembered none of their manlike lives, and wanted only to chomp men. They had very long mouths full of sharp teeth, so it was dangerous to get close enough to try to reason with them. So there was no alternative except to rename the lake Ogre-Chobee and let them be. At least others would be warned of the danger by the name. Actually, there was a bright side: now no strangers could wander across the lake and find Gateway Castle beneath it, because the chobees would chomp any who tried.
Only Hydrogen escaped, because he had been away at the time of the sneak attack. He realized that Loudspeaker had to be stopped before he caused even more trouble. The only one who could stop the evil Magician was Hydrogen, because he was the only other surviving Magician among the Curse Friends. "Loudspeaker, you have done a bad thing," he said grimly. "But I will stop you." It didn"t seem like much of an oath, but the people applauded.
Bee went to call other curse-wielding actors. Hydrogen formed them into a new group, whose joint curse could be charged with his own elemental energy. Now they had a weapon capable of destroying Loudspeaker.
The evil Magician meanwhile had gone to a region north of the Gap Chasm in central Xanth. He had set up a palace formed of spliced Words, and used other Words to enslave the resident fairies, harpies, and other creatures of the air so that they had to do his bidding. There was a chain of linked Words around the whole estate, and each Word was barbed. No one could get close without receiving a terrible tongue-lashing. He had what seemed to be an impregnable bastion.
But Hydrogen a.s.sembled his team, and they stood on a mountain opposite the palace. Hydrogen stood at the pinnacle and called across to the evil Magician. "Loudspeaker, I demand that you surrender, and practice evil no more. Otherwise we shall blast you out of your fortress."
Their only answer was a barrage of sharp Words. They flew like daggers, and slammed into the wooden shield the heroes hastily erected. For Hydrogen had expected more treachery, and had prepared for it.
"Okay, you asked for it!" Hydrogen cried with n.o.ble righteous ire. "One-two-three!"
His loyal group hurled their joint curse, modified to contain plenty of Hydrogen"s magic. It was an air attack. It struck the palace and blew it away. It whirled around, searching for Loudspeaker, but he was not there. He had sneaked out during the night, leaving only his sharp Words to guard the palace.
The curse, its target undestroyed, was unfulfilled. It continued to search the area, blowing wildly. Hydrogen had not thought to put dissipation into it, in case of failure. So it just continued to rush around, never relaxing. There was nothing to be done except to let it be. Hydrogen and his band had won the battle but not yet won the war. "Oh, fudge!" Hydrogen swore.
Thus there came to be the Region of Air, where the wind eternally whirled and searched, seeking what wasn"t there.
Loudspeaker retreated north and set up another small evil empire, this time using his Words to dominate trolls, goblins, and other denizens of the earth. Battalions of mean creatures marched around the central earthworks, shouting awful insults at any who were foolish enough to come into range. It seemed to be another implacable retreat.
Hydrogen sent Bee to scout out the territory. Bee reported that it was an ugly place, almost as drear as Mundania.
"Mundania!" Hydrogen exclaimed. "What do you have against Mundania?" Then, reconsidering, he said, "Oh. I forgot Yes, it sounds pretty bad."
So he gathered his force on the ground near the empire, and called again to the enemy. "Loudspeaker, give it up! Or we shall bury you!"
The only answer he received was a barrage of thrown spears, tipped with the sharpest Words yet. These plunked into the hasty shield with expressions that caused the group"s ears to burn. Loudspeaker certainly had an evil way with Words!
"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" Hydrogen called. Several of his group were startled; they had never heard that particular expression before, and it did not seem to make a lot of sense here in Xanth where names could be devastating.
Then they launched a ma.s.sive adapted curse. It looped up across the land, and came down directly on the earthworks. Boom! The earth flew up and out, with rocks spewing across the landscape, and melted rock flowed across the scenery. Some bits of stone coalesced in the auto form tiny gla.s.s teardrops which would have seemed highly significant to Mundanes, but were merely fragments here.
But the curse couldn"t find its target because Loudspeaker had again cravenly fled. The curse searched diligently, refusing to quit until it had accomplished its mission. Hydrogen had forgotten to put a dissipation into it again. There had just been too much on his mind, and that detail slipped through the cracks, as it were.
Thus came to be the Region of Earth, where the ground continually moved and mountains spewed their intestinal lava out randomly. It was not exactly Xanth"s nicest place.
Hydrogen shook his head. "I"m having some trouble getting the hang of this heavy magic," he confessed.
Meanwhile Loudspeaker had moved north again, and used more Words to dominate fire-breathing dragons, salamanders, and other hot creatures. He fashioned a castle of burning Words, and surrounded it with a ring of fiery language. Once more, he seemed to be securely ensconced.
But Hydrogen refused to quit He brought his group up to the edge of the territory. "Loudspeaker!" he called. "Now, you quit destroying the environment like this, or I"ll blast you out!"
His only answer was a fiery Word from a dragon. The tongue of flame licked against the hasty shield and heated it until it melted. The men had to drop it before their fingers got burned.
"So that"s the way it is!" Hydrogen said, annoyed. "Well, I"ll just fight fire with fire!"
Then his group fired a curse so hot it set the neighboring air on fire and blazed across the sky until it seared into the castle and blasted it to flaming fragments. The very sky caught on fire, and it flickered forever after, called the aurora. A forest on the ground burst into a flame so fierce that it was never possible to put it out.
But once more the target was missing. Loudspeaker, in cravenly anti-hero fashion, had sneaked out leaving his unfortunate a.s.sistants to bear the brunt of the fire curse. The fire looked and looked, burning everything it encountered, but the evil Magician just wasn"t there. So why hadn"t Hydrogen put a time limit on the curse: "I really thought we had him, this time," he said sheepishly.
In this manner came to exist the Region of Fire, where flames were eternal and only creatures of flame could survive for any length of time. Fireflies and spitfires loved it but few ordinary people or creatures resided there.
"I guess I"m just not much of a hero," Hydrogen confessed woefully.
Meanwhile Loudspeaker had moved north again, into the veriest heart of Unknown Xanth, thinking no one would find him there. He settled by a nice lake, and compelled the poor fish to serve him, and water nymphs had to disport themselves for his satisfaction. Around his water works a monstrous water dragon curled, ready to chomp anyone who intruded. Water fowl kept sharp eyes out for the approach of any hostile forces. It seemed that no one could bother Loudspeaker here.
But Hydrogen had not learned how to quit. He brought his group to the verge of the lake and sent loyal Bee to investigate. Bee was always on call, and always finished her task before starting another. She swam quietly through the lake and observed its formidable array of defenses. "This will be a very wet undertaking," she reported.
So Hydrogen came up to the lake and called, "Loudspeaker, now you get out of here and become a nice model citizen, or I"ll wash you out!"
His only answer was a great splat of bilge water that almost drowned his group. Then the water dragon and water fowl oriented on him and ma.s.sed for an attack.
"Well, then, it will be a water war," Hydrogen said wetly. His group pumped out a curse so wet that it would have drowned the sun if it had struck that orb. Fortunately the sun had the sense to stay well away from it The curse went splat on the water works, and washed everything into the lake. It filled the lake to heaping, and then piled up into a mountain whose crest foamed angrily, looking for its target.
But Loudspeaker was gone again. The water searched all over, washing a deep depression into the land, but could not find him. So it made a liquid shrug and settled into flatness, overflowing into the west where it formed the Half-Baked Bog, and into the east where it drained off into the Sane Jaunts River, and it was done. Because- surprise!-this time Hydrogen had remembered to put a time limit on the curse.
Thus came to be the Water Wing, a pa.s.sive region where men and creatures could reside and interbreed. It was a rather pleasant place, overall, and soon developed a nice community of merfolk who had consideration for the local environment and always welcomed visitors.
Meanwhile Loudspeaker had set up operations to the north. This was a desolate region where no one cared to go, and the truth was that Loudspeaker wasn"t too keen on it either, but he was running out of options. Since Hydrogen had pursued him to all the nice regions, he had to try a nasty one. Maybe then he would be left alone long enough to build up his army and magic and conquer Xanth in style. Because this was his fell ambition: to make all the land slave to his merest whim. Even if his whim wasn"t nice. He was collecting a band of whims who would do whatever he wished, and whatever no one else wished. He had even found a cute female whimsy to entertain his off-hours.
Hydrogen was a slow learner, as was shown by the time it took him to learn to put limits on his curses. But in time he did get there. So this time, considering that Loudspeaker always retreated before the solid (or liquid) curse could score, he put Bee on the job of cutting off the escape. In fact this time she would even make the challenging call. Hydrogen had a secret reason for this.
So Bee went around to the north, then stood at the edge of the ugly place and called out the challenge. "Loudspeaker, quit this funny business and give up your bad magic, or I will curse you into irrelevance!"
Her only answer was a whimsical blob of garbage that went splat against her shield. So Bee called Hydrogen and told him about it and he swore a medium oath that he would this tune blow the enemy into sheer nothingness. He readied his group"s worst curse, an awful Nothing bomb.
Loudspeaker, thinking that the charge would be from the north, tried to sneak back south to hide in the nice lake of the Water Wing. But this was where Hydrogen was. Now Hydrogen bombed him. The Nothing curse exploded, forming a tremendous dome of chaos that destroyed everything in its range, then sank down through the ground in a singular fashion, and was never heard from again. In fact, nothing else that entered that singularity ever returned, because Nothing had made its ultimate home here.
Thus came to be the Void, the home of nothing. Around its edge was an event horizon, where normal events stopped and became nothing. Only largely imaginary creatures like the night mares could enter the Void and return.
This time Loudspeaker had not escaped. Even his memory was gone, so that only a few storytellers knew he had ever existed. He was now nothing, and Hydrogen"s job was done.
Now Hydrogen considered. He realized that a great deal of damage had been done by this momentous campaign against evil. All of the battles had done damage to central Xanth. He wanted to see that never again would there be havoc wrought by an air attack, earth encounter, fire fight, water war, or void violation. It would be better if the secret of modifying magic talents were lost, so that no other person could make himself into an evil Magician.
As it happened, Hydrogen was now the last of the original Modified Magicians. So he sent the other members of his group back to Gateway Castle, except for Bee on Call, then settled in the Water Wing, and devoted the rest of his life to developing the talent of keeping a secret. Finally he perfected it, and invoked it, and forever after no one in Xanth was able to rediscover the secret of modifying talents. Hydrogen"s last great enchantment had made it impossible.
Hydrogen married Bee, of course, and their descendants became the merfolk of the Water Whig. They had to marry humans and fish in alternate generations, to maintain their status as merpeople. The Curse Friends remained a close-knit group with weak individual talents, all of them related to cursing, and became great actors. The villages around Lake Ogre-Chobee were always glad when one of their troupes arrived, because their plays were always superb.
Thus it was a regular circuit of the lake. In time no one remembered that the Talent Research Group had even existed, or that for fifteen years there had been havoc in central Xanth while things were being put to rights. For more than two and a half centuries Xanth was reasonably quiet, until the onset of the Eighth Wave.
"But that is another story," Morris concluded.
Jenny opened her eyes. The ancient scenery of Xanth faded away with its heroic deeds and misdeeds. She was back in the present, with the nice merfamily. She was no longer Bee on Call, but Jenny Elf. However, she now knew a good deal more about Xanth than she had.
"Now we know the background," Cyrus said. "It was a stroke of fortune for my father when the Siren arrived here, because then he could marry her instead of a fish. Now I would like to do something similar."
Jenny saw Kim freeze. As Hydrogen, Kim had become a reasonably bold if error-p.r.o.ne hero. Now she was just a girl who remained error-p.r.o.ne, or perhaps error-supine. What was she going to do?
"Which brings me to my question for you, Kim," Cyrus said. "This is something which perhaps only you can do for me, but which is supremely important to me. It concerns my marriage."
"I - I - " Kim managed to say, before her voice freaked out and fled. Jenny"s voice had already done so. Morris and the Siren looked on benignly.
"Therefore I must ask you, Kim," Cyrus continued grandly, "whether you will allow me to travel with you until I find a suitable mermaid elsewhere in Xanth to marry? For you see I am not used to traveling beyond the Water Wing, and fear I would encounter mischief if I did so alone. You are the first human traveler to pa.s.s this way in some time. As my father says, you seem to be the right young woman for this purpose, because you are not of Xanth and so there is no impropriety in our keeping company for a time. We merfolk are highly conscious of the proprieties, perhaps because we derive from the playacting Curse Friends. With a man there would have been no problem, of course, but it may be a long time before a traveling man pa.s.ses this way."
Kim looked as if about to faint with relief, perhaps tinged with a dab of disappointment. Jenny emulated Bee on Call and stepped into the breach. She found her voice, where it had been cowering under her chair. "Kim will be happy to have you travel with us," she said. "Until you find a suitable mermaid to marry."
Kim scrambled to find her own voice, but it was just out of reach. So she nodded her head vigorously, smiling. There were tears in her eyes.
"Excellent!" Cyrus said heartily. "This is a great relief to me."
At last Kim recovered her voice. "Me too!" she squeaked.
"We are so glad this has worked out," the Siren said. "Now you must rest here for the night, so as to be fresh for the morrow."
Kim and Jenny were glad to agree.
Chapter 7: BLACK WAVE.
Nada glared at Com Pewter. "Aren"t you proud of yourself," she said severely. "You tricked my Player into coming here with that shortcut, and herded him into your cave, and used your superior knowledge of Xanth to defeat him in the riddle contest, so now he"s out"
EXACTLY, the screen printed smugly.
"Thereby making me a failure as a Companion. I hope you"re satisfied."
I AM.
"Oh, you"re impossible!"
I AM AN EVIL MACHINE. HO HO HO!.
"I liked you better when you were a nice machine."
I WAS NICE ONLY BECAUSE LACUNA TRICKED ME INTO RECOMPILING. NOW IN THE GAME I GET TO BE EVIL AGAIN. BUT YOU ARE WELCOME TO a.s.sUME YOUR LUSCIOUS SERPENTINE FORM AND CURL AROUND MY HARDWARE ANYTIME, NAGA CREATURE.
"Well, Dug will come back into the game, despite you, you crock of capacitors."
THEN HE WILL HAVE TO MEET ME AGAIN AND DEFEAT ME IN A HARDER GAME THAN BEFORE. I WILL HAVE THE SINISTER PLEASURE OF DUMPING HIM AGAIN. SO YOU HAD BETTER SHOW HIM YOUR PANTIES WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE, PRINCESS.
"You unspeakable cad!" she cried, outraged.