"I"m not sure that would be decorous," Merci said.
"Certainly it wouldn"t," Cyrus agreed. "However, we can make it decorous by donning human clothing. Perhaps Kim and Nada will be so kind as to fetch you a skirt, while I return to my trousers."
So they took Merci to a nearby fabric plant and wrapped a length of seersucker around her body, fashioning a serviceable dress. They found lady slipper flowers and put a delicate pair of slippers on her dainty feet Nada brushed her somewhat matted hair and set a pa.s.sion flower in it Now she looked just like a perfectly lovely human woman.
They returned to the spring, where Cyrus was dry and back in clothing. He looked like a perfectly handsome human man. "Oh, you are surely the creature I wish to marry," he said. "Except-"
"And you are surely the creature I"d like to wed," Merci agreed. "Except-"
"Except that you can"t stand each other"s water," Nada said. "What irony!"
"Suppose we had merchildren?" Cyrus said. "They might be intolerant of both kinds of water!"
"I fear our love is doomed," Merci said sadly.
Kim knew the feeling. She reacted against it "There must be some compromise," she said. "Couldn"t you, uh, get together in human form, and return to your lake and sea between times?"
"That would be uncouth," Cyrus said. "Legs are so clumsy and unaesthetic."
"Tails are the only way to party," Merci agreed.
They certainly seemed to be well matched. "There must be some way," Kim said. "We just have to find it"
"It would be nice," Cyrus said. "Merci is exactly what I have been looking for except for the incompatibility of medium." He glanced at her wrapped torso again. "In fact, perhaps even more than I was looking for. Freshwater mermaids are somewhat more slender."
"That"s fine, if you like that type," Merci remarked.
"I find I like your type."
"Well, we"ll figure it out" Kim said. "Maybe there"s a spell. But at the moment maybe you can help us, Merci. We need to find a way to cross safely to the south side of the Gap Chasm."
"You might swim, if you don"t mind fifty-degree water and a loan shark or two."
Kim had tried swimming in eighty-degree water once, and found it too cool for comfort. "I think swimming is out. Anyway, Cyrus can"t touch sea water. Is there a tunnel or something?"
Merci pondered. "There is a tunnel under the Gap. But it is not safe."
"It must be safer than shark-infested water!" Kim said.
"It is a goblin tunnel," Merci explained.
"Ouch!" Nada said. "I don"t relish goblins. I can chomp one or several, but they tend to come in hordes. We had better avoid that."
Kim looked around again, knowing she would see nothing useful. "I wonder whether there is enough dry wood to make a raft."
"I suppose you could build a raft," Merci agreed. "It should only take a few days."
Kim sighed. "Maybe it will have to be the tunnel. And knowing the way the game works, we"ll have to prepare to fight off the goblins."
"Game?" Merci asked.
"She"s from Mundania," Nada explained. "She"s here as part of a game the demons organized. I"m her Companion, here to guide and protect her."
"Oh. Well, I will show you the nearest entrance to the tunnel. But I don"t know how you can deal with the goblins. Once when I made legs to walk to land to fetch some flowers, goblins tried to catch me so they could do something horrible to me. Since then I have been very cautious about going on land, and I don"t like goblins at all."
The merwoman led the way to a thicket of bushes some distance back from the Gap, where the land was not too far above sea level. There beneath their cover of foliage was a hole in the ground. Bubbles sniffed it.
"It"s dry?" Kim asked. "Though it goes under the water?"
"It"s dry," Merci agreed. "Though I understand there are portals in the bulkheads to flood it if necessary. I can"t think why the goblins would want to make it that way."
"This is naga work," Nada said, examining the bricked rim of the hole. "I recognize the type. Naga must have made this, and later lost it to the goblins. We have been slowly losing ground to them for centuries."
"In fish school they taught me that the goblins once roamed freely on the ground," Merci said. "But that now there are relatively few there. Most are underground."
"That is true," Nada said. "The harpies and humans warred with them, and drove them out of much territory. But they are in Goblin Mountain, and there"s always the Goblinate of the Golden Horde, the worst tribe of them all. We don"t know much about the ones deep belowground, but suspect there are many." She turned to Kim. "Hold my apparel; I will investigate this."
Then Nada turned serpent and slithered out of her collapsing clothing. Kim picked up the outfit and folded it The serpent slithered into the hole and disappeared.
"They must go on," Merci said to Cyrus. "But must you go with them?"
"There seems to be little point in my remaining here," he said sadly. "I can not enter your sea realm, any more than you can enter my lake realm. I fear our love is doomed before it starts. I must go on, to see whether I can find a fresh mermaid."
"I suppose you must," she agreed. "Perhaps we shall kiss before we part"
"Perhaps we shall," he agreed, perking up slightly.
"It will be a remarkable experience," she said dreamily.
"And a poignant memory."
Kim had another notion. "Hey, what about a wetsuit?" she asked.
"We do not wish to get our clothing wet," Cyrus said gently. "It is not as durable as skin and scales."
"No, I mean a bodysuit for diving. We have them in Mundania. We use them to keep the water out and the heat in, so we can swim in cold water. If one of you wore a wetsuit could you swim in the water of the other?"
"I suppose," Merci agreed. "It would not be very comfortable, but it might enable us to visit each other"s homes."
"But it would not be very nice for summoning the stork," Cyrus said.
"Which is an occasion which should not be ruined."
"I fear it would be little better than doing it in human form."
"Ugh!" she agreed. "I suppose it could be tolerated in an emergency."
"True. Human beings have to tolerate it knowing nothing better."
Kim was getting to feel like an inferior species. Imagine having to, as they put it, summon the stork while wearing ungainly legs!
Fortunately Nada returned at this point. She formed her human head on her snake"s body. "It is clear, though there is the smell of goblins about it. I think we can get through if we move rapidly and are lucky."
"But how will we see, in that darkness?" Kim asked.
"There is glow fungus on the walls. It seems dark compared to daylight but is light compared to night. You will be able to see well enough."
"Let"s go, then," Kim said. "Why don"t you come too, Merci? You can return to the sea from the other side, if you want."
"I suppose I could," the merwoman agreed. She did not seem at all eager to separate from Cyrus, and he seemed to return the uneagerness.
Kim climbed down into the hole, Bubbles scrambling along with her, and the two merfolk climbed down after her. The interior was not dank, as she had feared, but a bit like a subway tunnel with tiled walls. As her eyes adjusted, she saw the glow on the wall.
The tunnel curved away. They followed it in a downward spiral. Now Bubbles was happy to lead the way, her tail curving high. The dog was never so happy as when she was escorting people somewhere. The glow seemed to get brighter as they went, though she knew this was just the continued adaptation of her eyes.
She lost count of the circles they completed. This was a good deep tunnel! But finally it straightened out and headed in what she trusted was the right direction. From it debouched side tunnels every so often, going she knew not where. Maybe this had once been a subterranean naga city. She wondered what that community had been like. Then the main tunnel narrowed, and the offshoots stopped.
Bubbles barked.
Nada, slithering along in her naga form, abruptly lifted her head. "I smell fresh goblin!" she said, alarmed. "They were not here before."
"Maybe they make regular checks," Kim said. "Is there anywhere we can hide?"
"No. We are directly below the Gap now, and below the water of the sea inlet within it. This is the narrowest section."
"Then we"d better go back and take an offshoot," Kim said. "Maybe there"s a room or something to hide in, there."
"But they are coming from the rear," Nada said.
"Then we"d better run forward!"
"They are coming from that direction too."
Kim recognized a game challenge when she encountered it They were pinned underground between converging hordes of goblins. How could they get out of this fix?
Her concentration was interrupted by the approach of the goblins. "Look, fresh meat!" one cried from in front.
"You have it wrong, zilchpuss," one cried from the rear. "First we entertain ourselves wickedly with the damsels. Then we dump them in the pot."
"You"re both wrong," another cried. "First we boil them until they turn blood red. Then we use them for entertainment. Then we eat them. Don"t you know anything about protocol?"
Bubbles growled.
This was getting more serious by the instant! Not only were they going to be cooked, some of them were going to get tortured as well. Kim hadn"t realized that such things happened in Xanth, but she hadn"t reckoned with the goblins.
There had to be a way out! But what was it? All she saw on the walls were indented handholds, no tools or weapons.
Her desperate gaze crossed the low ceiling. She saw a circular indentation. A portal! They could let in the water of the sea!
But how would they breathe? The merfolk could breathe water-but one of them would be caught in the wrong kind of water. So there was mischief, no matter what.
Bubbles woofed. She was sniffing a circular indentation in the floor, right below the one in the ceiling. "What"s that?" Kim asked. Wild hope flared. "A secret escape?"
"It is marked for fresh water," Nada said, peering at the inscription on it "The upper one is for salt water. Apparently my people had uses for each, perhaps when they cleaned the tunnel."
No escape. Both portals sealed off water. Kim"s heart sank to about the level of her stomach, and her stomach sank to her belly.
Meanwhile the goblins were advancing like the jaws of a vise, or perhaps more accurately like the pincers of a garbage scoop. They had clubs and spears, but weren"t waving them threateningly, not wishing to damage the merchandise before having their fun with it.
Then Kim thought of a way, maybe. This was a sealed tunnel, which meant that the air was likely to be trapped in it. That just might be their salvation.
"Open the ports!" she cried. "Both of them! Let the water in!"
"But-" Cyrus and Merci said, almost together.
"You open the top one, Merci. That"s sea water; it won"t hurt you. You open the bottom one, Cyrus; that"s fresh water. It won"t hurt you. Then just hang on, staying in your type of water. We"re going to wash these goblins right out of our hair!"
"But how will we breathe?" Nada asked.
"There"ll be air in the top half of the tunnel. Just keep your head up. And hang on; we have to stay right here in the center."
The two merfolk applied themselves to the hatches. They turned the plates, uns.c.r.e.w.i.n.g them, Kim grabbed one of the handholds set in the wall with one hand, and caught Bubbles" collar with the other. Nada curled her tail into another handhold.
Cyrus" portal opened. Water blasted in at high pressure, deflected by the cover, which seemed to be anch.o.r.ed from below by the screw in its center. He hung on to that cover, holding it steady so that the water sprayed out in a rough circle.
Merci"s portal opened. Water blasted hi from above, similarly deflected. She hung on to that anch.o.r.ed cover, so that her water also made a circle.
For good or ill, Kim"s plan was now in effect.
The surging waters merged on either side, coursing down the tunnel. The water was cool but not unbearably cold. The currents swept into the goblins, fore and aft, shoving them back. They were too surprised even to swear effectively. Suddenly they were fighting for their footing- and their lives, because they were not anch.o.r.ed.
The waters quickly filled the tunnel, pushing violently outward. But a level of air remained trapped at the top, having nowhere to go. Kim held Bubbles up so she could breathe it, while breathing it herself. Nada"s face was close to hers, and she did the same. The best place to be was in the center, where there was no unified current, just the chaotic backsurge.
Soon the goblins were gone. They had been swept out in both directions, helplessly. Where they went Kim didn"t care; they hardly deserved any good breaks.
"Close hatches!" Kim cried.
The merfolk turned the disks the other way, s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g them back into their niches. It was hard work, but they had leverage. They got them closed, and the spraying water was cut off. The roar of it subsided, and the currents calmed.
Nada"s human head glanced around. "That was well wrought, Kim," she said. "You won the challenge. I didn"t think you would figure it out in time."
"It was a close call," Kim admitted. "If Bubbles hadn"t called my attention to the second portal, I don"t think I would have seen the answer." She kissed the dog"s wet ear, and Bubbles wagged her tail as well as she could in the water.
"Now, let me see," Nada said "I can slosh through water and hold on better in human form. We"re all females here except Cyrus, and he"s a merman, who has no concern about nakedness as long as he is in his natural form."
"True," Cyrus agreed. "I do not wish to offend, but my interest in creatures without tails is small."
"So I will change." Nada became human, a splendid figure of a bare woman. "In any event, it is all right, because I"m not wearing panties at the moment. Now I believe I can find the way out, by following the old naga signals." She started half walking, half swimming along the flooded tunnel.