The serpent slithered back to Nada"s clothes. Dug didn"t need to be asked; as he had said, he had learned his lesson. He also had a glimmer how she could stop him from kissing her: by biting his head off. He turned and put his face to the trunk of the nearest tree, and closed his eyes. He waited until Nada told him it was all right to look.
When he did look, she was back in her normal, lovely human form. "You are impressive," he said. He was not referring to her human form.
"Thank you." She knew what he meant.
They resumed their trek. Dug was happy; not only had he returned to the game, he was now experiencing its full adventure. What more could he ask?
The day was declining. "We shall have to make camp for the night soon," Nada said. "Because I am not competent to protect you well against the predators of the night"
"Night? Already? It seems like only an hour!"
She shook her head. "Perhaps time is different in Mundania. It may be that only an hour has pa.s.sed there.
But here much of a day has pa.s.sed. I suppose if you prefer to leave the game, and return in the morning-"
"Nuh-uh! I don"t want to get out of the game at all, if I can help it. I might not manage to get back in."
She considered that seriously. "I think you should be able to return, if you obey the rules and maintain your belief. Certainly you should be safer there."
"But shouldn"t I be exposed to the danger, instead of copping out? I mean, is that fair play?"
"I don"t know. I think that is your option. I understand that it is possible for a Player to depart, and to return to the game another day without any time having elapsed in the game. This is marvelous magic I do not understand, but surely convenient for you."
Dug recognized her description of a saved game; of course it wouldn"t change when not being played. "Well, I didn"t think I would like this game, when I heard about it But I do. I want to play it right. That means day and night If I win, I win; if I lose, I lose."
"You do not object to sharing a tent with me?"
Dug managed to keep his face sober. "I do not object. I will keep my eyes away, if you just tell me when."
She smiled, and he realized that he had scored another minor point. "Then we must seek a suitable campsite."
Soon they found one. It was marked CAMPSITE-ENCHANTED. It looked very nice.
"But just what exactly does it mean, enchanted?" he asked.
"It means that bad creatures can not attack here. So we may sleep without fear."
"But I thought we couldn"t use the enchanted paths."
"This is not a path. It is a safe area. Players are allowed to use these."
"That"s a relief." Because Dug had learned to take the fantasy threats seriously. He knew that if he got chomped by something that went b.u.mp in the night, or b.u.mped by something with teeth, he would be out of the game. He could appreciate how dangerous it could be to sleep unprotected.
There was a big fabric plant growing nearby. They harvested some blankets and canvas, and soon had used available ironwood poles to fashion a framework. There was a box of magic tent pegs mat gripped the edges of the fabric and held them firm. Nada knew what she was doing a good deal better than he did, so he followed her lead. The resulting tent did not look professional, but neither did it look incompetent They spread pillows from pillow bushes on the ground, and the blankets over them.
Then they harvested potluck pies from the pie trees, and some milkweed pods. Dug was getting used to the way puns became real here; this was just the way it was, in Xanth.
There was a pleasant stream crossing a corner of the protected site. Nada went there to wash. "Please do not look," she said politely.
Dug went to the tent, lay down, put his head in the pillow, and closed his eyes tightly. He had always been a quick study, and the game had taught him well. Absolutely no peeking!
Soon she came to the tent "Your turn," she said.
He got up and went to the river. He was not surprised to find it cool and pleasant on his skin; he had been reminded that this was a game, from which he could be excluded, but also that while he was in the game, it was increasingly real. So he no longer questioned that reality; he reveled in it. Whatever the rules of this fantasy land were, he would follow them literally, from now on.
Nada was sitting up on her pillow-bed when he returned. She was in a stunning nightdress which actually was far more discreet than it seemed, showing no extra flesh. "Dug, I must ask you something," she said hesitantly.
"All the rules!" he exclaimed. "I"m not breaking any one of them!"
She smiled. "Of course. My concern is this: I normally sleep in my natural form, but if you would prefer that I retain human form, I will. I understand that some people are uncomfortable in the presence of reptiles."
He needed no thought at all before answering. "Make yourself comfortable, Nada. I know who and what you are, I"ve seen you change to snake form, and if I wake and find a serpent beside me, I"ll understand." Because much as he liked her human form, he now knew that it was completely off bounds, and he didn"t even want to be tempted. Only if he behaved himself absolutely could he ever hope to be allowed not to behave himself. So he was going to do all he could to keep her happy. She might be his Companion, but he was going to be a perfect escort for her, too.
"Thank you, Dug." Her face did not change, but her body melted into serpent form, the nightdress sagging around it She slithered out of the apparel, formed a loose coil, and laid her human head on the pillow.
There would have been a time, Dug reflected, when such a sight would have amazed him. But that was history, as of a few hours ago. He changed into the pajamas she had laid out for him and lay down on his own bed.
Sleep was magically swift and restful. Dug could not be sure whether he slept eight hours, or one, or one second. Because this was a game, it could be just a fade-out, fade-in leading to the next scene. But it seemed like slumber.
Next day they came to a sign: SHORTCUT TO SUCCESS. There was an arrow pointing down a side path.
"Does this make sense?" Dug inquired.
"I have not been told about this," Nada said, frowning. I don"t believe that such a sign is normally here. That suggests that it has been set up for the game."
"Does that mean we have to go that route?"
"By no means! A challenge set up for the game is as likely to be troublesome as rewarding. It may be safer to avoid it and make our own way south."
Dug considered. "About how much farther is the Good Magician"s castle?"
"Several days, at our present pace. We shall also have to cross the Gap Chasm, which is formidable."
"And the shortcut might take us there sooner?"
"A magical route could take us there in one moment," she said. "Two moments at the most. But it could also lead us into mischief. I suspect it is a gamble which can either help us greatly, or complicate things greatly, depending on how we manage to handle it."
"What do you recommend?"
Now she considered a good half-moment. "Do you like traveling with me?"
Dug forced himself to be subdued. "Yes."
"You would not mind taking several extra days?"
"I would not" He would not mind taking several extra years, with her, even if he never got to look at her body.
"Then I recommend avoiding this shortcut, because I can convey you to the Good Magician by the slow route, while I am not sure what will happen on the shortcut."
But Dug was becoming canny about his real objectives. "Which do you prefer, Nada?"
She was surprised. "My preference does not count. You are the Player. I am here to be your Companion, to help you accomplish your desire in the game."
Except if his desire was to grab her and kiss her. Failing that, his desire was to please her. He didn"t care about winning the game; he just wanted to stay a while longer in this magical land, and be with her, and make her smile on occasion.
"I would love to be with you extra time," he said carefully. "But I realize that for you this is just a job, and I don"t want to make it more burdensome than it has to be. I can go either the safe slow route or the mysterious adventure route. Which would you prefer it to be?"
"I have to confess that I am femininely curious about that shortcut," she confessed femininely. "But I seriously question whether it is wise, so-"
"I"m curious too," he said. One thing this game had done: it had made him figure out his true desire. Pleasing her was more important than being with her for a longer time. "So shortcut it is. The foolish Mundane has made another foolish decision."
She shot him an appreciative glance that made it all worthwhile, regardless of the outcome. "Perhaps not entirely foolish," she murmured.
They followed me shortcut. It led to a marshy glade with odd-shaped depressions near a sharply rising mountain. Nada looked uneasy, but didn"t comment.
Dug sniffed the air. "What is mat smell? Did a whale die here after eating a mountain of cabbage?"
Nada sniffed. "Oh, I don"t like this!"
"Neither do I. If that"s the Good Magician"s castle ahead, he needs to catch up on a century"s worth of baths."
"I fear it is an invisible giant," Nada said faintly.
"Oh, is he going to step on us? Then we"d better get onto the shadow of that mountain."
"Worse. Because-"
The ground shook. The very trees seemed to jump. In fact, some did jump, as if kicked by an invisible foot. Then a swatch of nearby forest was abruptly flattened, as if the foot had landed on it. The smell intensified.
Dug stared. "That invisible giant-you weren"t joking?"
"A princess seldom jokes."
Another swatch of forest flattened. "It"s coming toward us!" Dug cried. "Run for the mountain!"
"I fear we have no choice," she agreed, running with him. Even distracted as he was by the overpowering stench and the threat of being stepped on, Dug couldn"t help but notice how she looked when she ran. He wished he could watch that when not distracted. But he would never tell her that, of course. It wouldn"t be Mundanely.
They reached the mountain. There was a cave opening, leading into a dimly lighted tunnel.
Another invisible foot landed, squishing more forest. It was alarmingly close. "We"d better hide in there!" Dug said.
"Not if we can help it," Nada said.
He hesitated. "Why not? It can"t be worse than here."
"Oh, it can," she said. "I fear this is Pewter"s cave. It shouldn"t be here; it"s south of the Gap Chasm. But the shortcut must have conveyed us there."
"A pewter cave? You mean it is used to store metal carvings?"
"No. It-"
Another invisible footprint was forming. This one was right before them, and the ground was rapidly indenting toward them, as if a huge boot had landed heel-first and the sole and toe were coming down. The smell had become an intolerable stink.
They launched themselves into the cave, where the boot couldn"t reach. Just in time, for me whole region shook, and dust stirred everywhere except where the footprint was.
"Oh, nuisance!" Nada swore. "We have been driven into Pewter"s lair. The shortcut is a Pewter Plot"
"What"s so bad about pewter? It"s just tin and lead, an alloy they use to make pretty figurines and things."
"This is Com-Pewter, Xanth"s evilest machine," she explained. "He was turned into a nice machine recently, but for the purpose of the game he is defined as he used to be. He changes reality in his vicinity, so as to have everything his way. Now we"re really in trouble, and it"s all my fault, because I told you to try the shortcut"
Com-Pewter. Another stupid pun. "No, I told you we would try it. Obviously this is a special game challenge. So I"ll just handle it and go on, no sweat"
"You can"t just handle Pewter!" she protested. "He handles you."
"Well, we"ll see about that." Dug marched on into the cave, having concluded that foolish boldness would impress her more than ineffective caution.
They came into a larger cave, where there was a collection of junk. A screen stood up in the center of that pile. WELCOME, MUNDANE PLAYER, it printed.
So this was the dread machine! But Dug had learned not to dismiss magic things contemptuously; they could indeed fight back, here in this Land of Xanth. "h.e.l.lo, Com Pewter. What can I do for you?"
YOU CAN SERVE ME FOREVER, the magic screen responded. YOU CAN FORFEIT YOUR GAME.
"No choices in between?"
NONE.
"Well, I don"t care for those options," Dug said firmly. "So I"ll just be departing now. It"s been nice meeting you."
MUNDANE PLAYER CHANGES HIS MIND.
Oops. "Then again, maybe I"ll stay and chat with you awhile," Dug said, discovering that his mind had indeed been changed. He was beginning to understand what Nada had meant about the evil machine changing reality. This could be worse trouble than he had figured on.
"Now wait you evil machine," Nada protested. "You aren"t allowed to give him a no-win either-or! You have to give him a chance to beat you."
WHO SAYS? the screen demanded irritably.
"The Demon Professor Grossclout," she retorted. "He set up the rules for the game, and if you don"t obey-"
PRINCESS COMPANION CHOKES AND IS UNABLE TO COMPLETE HER SENTENCE, the screen printed.
Nada choked and coughed, not finishing her sentence.
But this was enough to give Dug the hint "So it"s this Demon Big Cloth who runs the game, not you! And he says you have to give me a fair chance. Which means you have to give my Companion a chance to advise me. Otherwise-"
OTHERWISE WHAT, IGNORANT MUNDANE?.
Dug did not like being called ignorant but since that accurately described him in this situation, he let it pa.s.s. He made a flying guess. "Otherwise you forfeit, screen-for-brains, and I win. Now let Nada go."