Jenny sniffed it. Faint stars appeared in her eyes. "Oh, guest stars," she said, smiling. "I love them." Then she turned to look at Sherlock. "In fact, I love-"
"Get away from there!" Sherlock cried. "That"s a love spring!"
"Much better than a hate spring," she replied dreamily.
"Get away!" he repeated firmly.
"Anything you say, you handsome creature." She moved languorously away. "Wouldn"t you like to carry me again?"
"Not this time! You just breathe the air away from the spring for a while until it wears off."
Reluctantly the elf girt did so. Dug had never had reason to question the black man"s decency, but if he had, this scene would have resolved it. He was getting just enough of a whiff of the spring to understand that it would be extraordinarily easy to take advantage of a situation.
So they set off for yet another spring, as the day waned. Dug hoped the next one wasn"t a hate spring, because then Jenny and Sherlock might come to hate him, and leave him to expire alone.
As the sun set, they came to it. Jenny sniffed. "I think this is it!" she said, excited.
"You"re not trying to trick me into tasting a love spring?" Sherlock asked.
"Dip your sore toe."
He did. "Hey-it healed!"
They brought some of the water to Dug. With the first drop on his lips he began to feel better. He swallowed, and felt better yet. He inhaled the vapor, and his lungs began to clear. This was definitely the healing elixir.
But his chest did not heal quite all the way. He knew why: he was still wearing the New Monia flower, and it was still sending illness into his lungs. He could have been better long ago, if he had just thrown that flower away. But he refused. He had to wear it just as if it were harmless.
"I"m better," he announced. "But I"d better take some of this elixir along, just in case of relapse." He dipped a small bottle in the spring, filled it, and corked it. It was amazing how sick he had felt, though he knew this was all pretense; an effect of the game couldn"t touch him in real life. It certainly had seemed real, though.
It was now dusk. They foraged for food and camping materials, and set up for the night. There was no regular camping place here; evidently they had wandered from the normal route of the game. But if anything happened, they could heal quickly, because of the spring.
Dug thought he had been resting while the others worked, but now he discovered how tired he was. He sank into blissful sleep.
In the morning they resumed their trek, heading for Com-Pewter"s lair. At first they had to pick their way through thick jungle. Dug wondered why, since it seemed to thin in a nearby valley. Then he saw a dragon feeding on something, and realized that the easiest route was not necessarily the best. Sammy Cat was leading them the safe way-which was where the dragons weren"t foraging. His encounter with the Gap Dragon had been more than sufficient to teach him respect-and that had been merely a steamer, not a firebreather.
They heard a companion. There ahead was a clearing, and in the clearing was a giant spinning object "What"s that thing doing here?" Dug demanded.
"I think that"s the Big Top," Jenny said "It"s part of another story. I don"t think we had better mess with it"
Dug was learning to take such warnings seriously. "We leave it alone," he agreed.
Now they were able to use some of the paths; Sammy Cat seemed to feel these ones were safe. They came to another area of commotion. It seemed to be an enclosed field, with many animals confined. ""The stock market," Jenny explained. "It"s full of charging bulls and bears. It"s not safe for ordinary folk to enter. People get trampled there all the time, and wiped out"
Dug nodded. Literal bulls and bears. It figured The Mundane version was scary enough, he understood; he didn"t need to mess with this one.
They also bypa.s.sed a big shopping centaur. Dug didn"t even ask.
At last they approached the region of the evil machine. Dug remembered how easy it had been to reach it, before, using the shortcut But now they were in much better control. He would not be blindly stampeded into Pewter"s cave.
This time he was able to appreciate how cunningly this particular trap was laid. The shortcut to success had indeed been a shortcut for an innocent who didn"t ask where it went or whose success it meant. It had amounted to an enchanted path, safe from other hazards, lulling him into false security. Then the invisible giant had come, scaring him into the one seemingly safe place-which was the worst place.
Dug felt his lung congesting. He quietly took another drop of healing elixir, and felt better. The New Monia flower remained bright and firm, the color of diseased lung tissue with spots of congestion; it was still trying to do its job. That was the way he wanted it But he was really glad that Jenny had insisted on finding the healing spring; that made all the difference. Now, if his devious and punnish plan jest, uh, just worked ...
He had a spot decision to make. Should he be wary of the giant, and sneak in to confront Pewter by surprise? Or pretend to be spooked in the usual fashion, so that the evil machine did not realize what Player it was at first? He decided on the latter course; that would be easier, and would surprise Pewter just as much. Perhaps more, because it would seem that this was a new victim being driven in. A surprised machine was more likely to make a mistake, and that was what Dug wanted. Pewter was dangerous, but the game required that he could be beaten, and surprising him was surely the best strategy.
In fact, Dug had a different Companion now, and a fellow traveler. If Pewter saw them first, he would be sure that this was a different Player. He would probably figure that it was Kim, and so would be prepared to freak her out, rattling her and making her fail to think of whatever her winning strategy might be.
"Um, friends," Dug murmured. "Before we go on, there"s something I must explain. I met up with Pewter before, and got skunked. I got kicked out of the game, and had to start over, with different paths and challenges. That"s why I"m being so careful now. He"s got a slick routine to drive folk into his cave, and then he changes reality to whatever he wants it to be. Now, Sherlock, this isn"t your responsibility, so maybe you should wait here until I settle with him, one way or the other. But I think you"re stuck for it, Jenny, being my Companion."
"Yes," Jenny said. "It"s my job to warn you to stay away from Pewter. But I know you can"t do that, because you have to beat him to cancel out what happened before. So I"ll try to help you. But once we"re there, I won"t be able to do anything, because he"ll just change my script. You"re the only one who can stop him, and I don"t know how you can do that. Sammy won"t be able to help against him, either."
"Right. It"s always the Player who has to handle the real crunch. If it"s a game challenge. My illness wasn"t supposed to be part of the game, so you and Sherlock got me out of it." He paused. "By the way, if I didn"t say thank you before, I"ll say it now. I really appreciate what both of you did for me during my illness, and I"ll try to repay you some way."
"I just did what I"m supposed to," Jenny demurred.
"You"d have done the same for me, if I got sick," Sherlock said.
"I know that. But a False Companion might have just let me be, washing out. And there are plenty of folk who would have figured it was no skin off their noses. So both of you really helped me, and I hope I can turn in a good performance report on Jenny, or whatever it is, and I hope we"ll find the ideal place for the Black Wave."
"Let"s get on with the action," Sherlock said gruffly. Dug could see that the man wasn"t much for compliments, and he liked that.
"Okay. So Jenny and I will head in just as if we are surprised by all of this, and let the invisible giant drive us into the cave. One thing you can do for me, Jenny, if you will: you lead the way into the cave, so that Pewter sees you first. I want him to think it"s Kim, until the last moment."
"You do have a plan," she said appreciatively.
"I do. It may not work, but I"ll give it the old college try." He turned to Sherlock. "If I lose, I won"t come out of that cave. But if Jenny calls the Demon Game Master, and explains how you got stranded here because of the Player, maybe he"ll tell you where to go. A place for your Wave, I mean. It"s worth a shot."
"Don"t worry about that," Sherlock said. "I"m coming in with you. I want to see this dread machine."
Somehow Dug wasn"t surprised. Sherlock hadn"t backed off from anything yet "Okay. If you want to follow Jenny in, it"ll really surprise the machine. Then I"ll appear, and try to polish him off with my sneak play."
"It"s sure got me fooled," Sherlock said. "You"ve just been really sick, and you still don"t seem all the way recovered despite that healing water, yet you"re eager to get back into the fray."
"Maybe I"m just a crazy teenager," Dug said, smiling.
"Crazy like a fox, maybe."
"Foxes aren"t crazy," Jenny protested, "They"re pretty smart Like wolves," She looked momentarily pensive.
No one commented. They walked out into the path leading by the cave.
Soon there was a shuddering of the ground. Trees crashed in the distance. "Hey, there"s a meteor crashing!" Sherlock said.
"No, that"s just the giant. I think he won"t actually step on us. Remember to spook when he gets close."
There was another crash, and a giant footprint appeared. "No problem!" Sherlock said.
They spooked. They ran down the path, away from the approaching giant steps. The mouth of the cave appeared, and they scooted into it just ahead of the last footprint. So far so good.
Jenny ran ahead, toward the dim light of the interior chamber. Sherlock followed. "Good thing we found this cave," he called. "That monster almost squished us."
"It"s Com-Pewter"s cave!" Jenny cried. "Quick, we must get out of it!"
There was a pause. Then she spoke again. "No, we must go on inside."
Dug, hanging back, smiled. Pewter had written a change on his screen.
"I don"t like the look of this," Sherlock said. Then: "But maybe it"s okay."
Dug moved quietly toward Pewter"s chamber, where the two were now standing.
"But Sherlock"s not the Player!" Jenny protested. "He"s just a fellow traveler."
Dug saw a big question mark on the screen. Pewter had been caught by surprise! He had a.s.sumed that Jenny was escorting a Player, and that Sherlock was that player. Exactly as Dug had hoped. The evil machine"s circuits had to be in turmoil. Now was his chance.
He strode boldly forward. "No, I am the Player," he said. "I have come to stop your clock, you crock of refuse."
The screen flickered. DUG MUNDANE! ERROR!
"No error, capacitor face. I fought my way back, just so I could settle your metallic hash."
YOU COULD NOT HAVE. NOT WITH YOUR COMPANION.
"Well, I did! And I changed Companions along the way. Which you didn"t antic.i.p.ate, did you, screen-for-brains?"
CHANGE PROGRAM. ADAPT FOR SMART-POSTERIOR MUNDANE TEEN. RECOMPILE. The screen went black while the recompilation proceeded.
Dug didn"t give it the change to complete its operation. "And here"s how I"m going to do it, you nutty and bolty contraption. On my return route I picked up the Germ of an Idea and here it is." He brought out the bit of fluff and dropped it on the machine.
REJECTED! the screen printed desperately.
"And a bugseed," Dug continued relentlessly. "That"ll put a bug in your program, for sure."
REJECTED! The screen was flickering.
"And here"s the piece of resistance," Dug said. "Pardon my French." He lifted the flower from his b.u.t.tonhole. "My third offering to you, which you can"t refuse, because you"ve already rejected my first two." He held the flower above the screen. "A New Monia posy. That will give you a virus, for sure." He dropped it.
A VIRUS! NONONONOOOO ...
"Tough turnips," Dug said cruelly. "He who lives by the pun, dies by the pun. You"ve been infected, wirebrain. In other words, YOU LOSE."
The screen went crazy. Characters and symbols flowed across it in weird patterns. Then the words GENERAL SYSTEM FAILURE appeared. Then the letters fell from the words and collected in a pile at the bottom of the screen. The screen faded into black.
"Let"s get out of here," Dug said, satisfied. "This pile of junk has nothing for us."
They walked out through the pa.s.sage. Sammy was happy to show the way. "What kind of logic was that?" Sherlock inquired. "What"s this rule about not rejecting three things?"
"Computers are logical but not sensible," Dug said smugly. "In Pewter"s state of confusion, it seemed to make sense. But I probably could have taken him out anyway with the New Monia, just by throwing it at him. Because a virus is a virus, and that one was good and potent. You saw what it did to me."
"That flower!" Jenny exclaimed. "I should have realized!"
"That"s why I made it seem like just a decoration," Dug said. "I figured if you didn"t catch on, Pewter wouldn"t either-until I told him. In Mundania a living virus and a computer virus are two different things, but in Xanth they have to be the same. So I punned him to death."
"That was brilliant!" Sherlock said.
Dug smiled. "Elementary."
The giant was nowhere to be seen. Of course that didn"t mean anything. But he wasn"t heard, either, so they proceeded along the path unmolested.
"I think you"re going to do well in this game," Jenny said.
"Maybe, maybe not. I just make it a point to learn from my mistakes. My first mistake was having eyes only for Nada Naga. My second was not taking puns seriously. So I dumped Nada, and now I"m playing the game to win. But the truth is, I"m just in it for the challenge and the fun now. I think this is a great, if foolish, adventure."
"Well, your next challenge should be the Good Magician"s castle," Jenny said.
"One thing nagging me," Sherlock said. "Maybe nothing."
"Nothing"s nothing here," Dug said. "What"s your point?"
"You mentioned Nada Naga. I can see why you found her distracting. So did I. But mere was something funny about her."
"Well, she"s a princess," Jenny said. "They tend to be sort of reserved. Except for Princess Electro, who wears blue jeans."
"It"s not that She"s a lovely creature, and a good lady. But there was something about her. When you said how a False Companion would just have let you be sick, something nagged at me. I finally figured it out Nada would have let you go."
"No she wouldn"t," Dug said. "I"ll never forget how she fought to help me douse the censor-ship!"
"The what?"
"That was in my first game session. The one I wiped out on with Pewter. But that was my doing; Nada was in my corner all the way, except when I tried to sneak a peek at her panties, and even then she welcomed me back. I know she"s human under the princessly mantle."
"Certainly she is," Jenny agreed. "She"s a good person. She was willing to marry Prince Dolph, despite not loving him, because he loved her and her family needed the liaison with the human folk. Then she got in trouble with the gourd realm, really by accident, so now she"s serving her time with the demons, in this game. Same as I am. But she always does her best, and she"s always nice."*
"I"m sure she is," Sherlock said doggedly. "I could see that myself. Maybe that"s why I picked up on the wrongness. It was as if she felt guilty for something. Something relating to you, Dug. I saw it when she looked at you, when you weren"t looking at her."
"She has no cause to feel guilty about me," Dug said. "I was the one who died to sneak a peek at her body. She had warned me not to, but I-" He shrugged. "I was young and foolish. She never did anything wrong."
"Of course she didn"t," Jenny agreed. "She would never do anything wrong. The very notion would tear her up." Then her eyes widened. "Oh, no!" she breathed.
"Right" Sherlock took a breath. "So how would she react if she maybe got selected as a False Companion, the second time around?"
Dug was stunned. "It could be different each time, couldn"t it! She could be True the first time, and False the second time. Still, it"s hard to believe that she could-"
"She wouldn"t exactly have a choice. She had to play by the rules of the game."
"I remember now," Jenny said. "She was the one who suggested that you exchange Companions. Could it be because she didn"t want to be False to you, Dug?"
Dug"s mind was spinning. Suddenly little things were clicking into place. Why had Com-Pewter been so sure that he couldn"t fight his way back, with his Companion? Maybe because the evil machine had known she was False, just waiting for the perfect opportunity to wash him out Why had Nada been reserved in little ways, when she had been more open before? Her att.i.tude had subtly changed, as if she were possessed of some secret sadness. Exactly as would be the case if she were required to turn traitor to the one she had before been pledged to help.