Chapter 1 - The Unsmiling G.o.ddess“I love you.”
On hearing those words, my body could not move.
“I love you from the bottom of my heart.”
On hearing those words, my body could not move.
“I love all and every part of you.”
On hearing those words, my body......
My body could not move due to the overwhelming fear.
That which was known as love.
Was something she feared......
Just as she thought, that something was called love.
If that was love, just as she thought, it was nothing but despair.
If she"s not mistaken.
Incidentally, there was that particular verse which she recalled.
There was a burst of light.
And she saw a fleeting dream.
It was in fact about something that just happened yesterday.
“I love...... you.”
Looking at that written verse,
“...... love?”
The young girl tilted her head to one side.
She was an unbelievably pitiful girl.
With glossy, long, blond hair, and fair skin that appeared almost translucent.
With long eyelashes, and almond-shaped blue eyes.
An incredibly beauty.
Only a fourteen year old young girl, if she were to be seen by a stranger, that person would probably find it hard to believe that she is actually human.
A fairy.
Or even a beautiful ghost.
Whichever the case, the beauty of Ferris Eris is something out of this world.
She looks way too perfect.
But that beauty......
Looked more like that of a well-made doll.
Her face was expressionless.
It was emotionless.
Like a doll.
It was as if her heart had been forgotten somewhere, that beauty was cold and inanimate.
A lifeless beauty.
No, it was not just her alone. Everyone here......
Their hearts were dead.
Ferris, with her child-like eyes which carried a very slight tinge of doubt, said.
“This ‘love’ thing that is written here, what is it? Nii-sama.”
“Hn?”
Before her was a young man who was reading a book, and he looked up.
He seemed to be a few years older than Ferris.
With the same blond hair, and the same almond-shaped eyes that seemed to be even more emotionless than those of Ferris.
Though those eyes appeared to reflect nothing, Ferris knew very well that those eyes were watching everything at all times.
Her elder brother, Lucile Eris.
He closed the book he was reading, a book which was written in a difficult ancient language, smiled thinly at her question,
“Ferris does not know anything about love?”
He said with a quiet, a very quiet voice.
But that was a strange statement.
Because there was no way she could have known.
Ferris knew nothing about love.
In fact, she knew nothing about other emotions as well.
This was such a place.
The Eris House.
One of Roland’s larger n.o.ble houses.
Known as the Eris swords clan, for generations, they had been tasked to become the protector of the king of this country.
Everything else was meaningless to them.
The reason for this was because in this place......
Again, with a quiet voice, Lucile said,
“The thoughts and feelings I have for Ferris, must most definitely be love.”
“Nii-sama’s feelings? Nii-sama, you love me?”
“Of course. We are siblings after all. That goes the same with Tou-sama, Kaa-sama, and Iris as well. We all love you.”
“......”
Her eyes became clouded again.
She looked at her own body.
She was wearing a clean, white dougi, and whatever skin that was left exposed were covered with wounds and bruises.
They were marks left behind after her daily swordsmanship training, wounds inflicted by her father, mother, and Lucile.
Wounds.
Wounds.
Wounds.
Wounds.
Aside from that, her life was filled with nothing else.
Every morning, immediately after waking up, it was training time.
The day only ended when she could no longer move.
Only to get stronger.
Only to get stronger.
Only to get stronger in order to not disgrace her clan.
She was taught nothing else.
Rather, it was not necessary to teach her anything else.
That was the only thing that mattered here.
Only to get beaten up, cut up on a daily basis.
“Is that love?”
Lucile stood up and returned his book to the shelf, then he gazed at her for a while.
With a definite gentle voice,
“Is the training too tough to bear?”
Ferris shook her head. She did not think that way. She had never once thought that the training was tough.
In the first place, she was never taught how ‘tough’ felt.
That’s why even when she knew that her parents thought of her as an unneeded existence, she never felt any kind of bitterness, not even slightly.
Even when Lucile had yet to reach their father’s strength, he was considered a talent who would not put the family to shame......
And compared to that Lucile, when their parents knew that it’s impossible for her to catch up to him, she became merely trash in their eyes.
But the training continued.
On and on, without knowing when it would ever end, what could only be described as an insanely tough training continued.
Even then, Ferris had never once thought that the training was tough.
Because she did not know what that emotion meant.
That’s why she shook her head.
Lucile grinned,
“Is that so? Ferris is such an admirable girl.”
He stroked her head.
“Hn? Did I just get praised?”
But he only continued to gently stroke her head for a while, then,
“...... no, you are being loved.”
He said.
Ferris closed her eyes.
It felt good to be stroked on the head.
At the very least, it felt far better than getting beaten up or cut up.
While her head was being stroked, Ferris said.
“I see. This is love......”
Lucile said happily.
“Yes. This is love.”
“Hm. It’s not bad. Does Nii-sama want to be stroked?”
“Ahahahaha.”
“Hn? Why are you laughing?”
In response to Ferris’s astonished reaction, Lucile stopped,
“Nothing, it’s just that I was thinking how cute Ferris is.”
“Hn? Am I cute?”
“Yes, you are cute. That’s why I love you.”
“Is that why you stroke my head?”
“Yes.”
“Then, let me show my love to Iris as well.”
After saying that, as she got up to head towards her younger sister, Iris’s room, Lucile laughed again.
“Ah. Your hair looks disheveled right now, make sure you straighten it out.”
“Alright.”
Then, Ferris started to make her way out of the library......
But, she abruptly turned around.
Lucile was still looking in her direction.
With gentle eyes. With clear, blue eyes like those of Ferris.
Ferris asked.
“Nii-sama, do you want to come and love Iris?”
However.
Lucile shook his head slightly.
“There’s something I need to attend to soon. Both you and Iris should quickly go to bed.”
“Something to attend to? What is it?”
To her query......
Without changing his expression, a gentle faint smile floated on Lucile’s lips.
“I’m going to go see the abyss of the world.”
“...... abyss?”
She could not comprehend.
Well, Lucile’s words were always hard to comprehend in the first place.
Seeing her tilting her head to one side with a bewildered expression, and how she made an effort to grasp the meaning of his words, Lucile smiled again.
“It’s fine, there’s nothing for you to worry about. Now, go to bed. You still need to wake up early tomorrow.”
After being told that,
“Okay.”
Ferris acknowledged obediently and the conversation ended.
And she left the room.
She headed towards Iris’s room. She quelled her presence in order not to wake Iris up and entered her room.
She sat beside the bed which lay her cute sleeping sister, and gently stroked her head.
Iris opened her eyes slightly.
“............ munya...... ah!? Nee-sama! Are you going to sleep with me!? Ya......”
Even as she woke up energetically in an instant, Ferris continued stroking her head, giving her a nice and warm sensation,
“Ya...... yay~...... Nee-sama...... I really...... like...... fumyuu......” (sounds of pleasure from Iris)
She hugged Ferris and fell asleep.
With a very slight smile, while still stroking her head, Ferris climbed into the bed.
There was not much time left to sleep.
She hardly had any free time for herself. After training, if she spent time reading, she would have less time to sleep.
However, things could become bad if she didn’t get sufficient sleep.
Each day’s training was like having a brush with death.
If she even let her guard down one bit, she could die.
In order to survive, she did not need any unnecessary emotions inside of her.
Love.
Friendship.
Romance.
Pain.
Bitterness.
Sadness.
She had to seal all her emotions, and undergo the training with indifference.
That’s how she would pa.s.s every single day of her life.
However.
As Ferris was stroking Iris’s head, she murmured.
“Hm. So this is love.”
With that, she tried hugging Iris’s body for a bit.
The body of the five-year old felt warm. Even though it’s only for a bit, she could tell the pleasantness of the sensation from that warmth.
“...... hm.”
And she shut her eyes.
Darkness.
For an instant in that total darkness, she remembered her brother’s words.
The abyss of the world.
Just as she thought, it was something beyond her comprehension.
But, whatever it was, it’s fine.
Because the next time she opened her eyes again, the same daily routine would start once more.
It was always the same......
That was what Ferris was thinking.
However, the truth was......
Once again, there was a burst of light.
As that was happening, awareness returned to her body.
The first sensation was that of giddiness.
Following that was an intense amount of pain.
As Ferris started to stand up, she got smacked on the head by a wooden sword, which sent her flying.
And she tumbled onto the floor, rolling,
“Argh...... ah......”
She cried out involuntarily from the intense pain.
As she tried to get up, her knee gave way, and it seemed like she could not move a single muscle.
She shut her eyes for a moment, and concentrated.
First, she needed to verify which parts of her body had taken damage, and then remove her consciousness from them, effectively extinguishing the feeling of pain.
The pain disappeared immediately. She was already used to doing that.
But the wounds were terrible.
She had several fractured bones.
The biggest problem was the injury to her head. The first strike robbed her of consciousness, but in the short instant that she was unconscious, it seemed like she was further struck on the head several more times.
Her head was wobbling and her body did not seem to be listening to her.
It was bad......
She thought.
If this carried on, she would die......
In front of her, stood her father and mother who were both looking despondent......
Bearing the trait of the Eris family, both had golden hair, blue eyes, and a beauty which belonged outside of this world.
But the beautiful faces looked twisted.
Looking at her despondently, her mother said.
“As always, you are disappointing. Inheriting the Eris blood...... rather, inheriting the blood of your prodigy father and myself, why could you not even stop this level of attack?”
She raised her sword slowly......
Immediately,
“Ku......”
Ferris prepared herself with her own wooden sword......
Well, while she was readying herself, her mother’s sword already reached her.
Somehow she managed to parry, once, twice, thrice......
No, there was no third time.
“...... your swings are monotonous and slow.”
Thereafter.
A slapping sound was heard on Ferris’s left arm.
“......!?”
Her eyes went wide.
It broke.
And it was not just her arm, but her bones and tendon......
She felt an intense sharp rising pain.
She was about to scream out involuntarily......
But before she could do that, her mother’s sword smashed into her face and Ferris was sent sprawling on the floor.
Looking at Ferris, her mother said.
“Well now, you can’t get up anymore? Is this the end? How unsightly...... truly unsightly. I’m so ashamed. For me to have given birth to a good-for-nothing like you......”
She was used to those words.
Unsightly.
Ashamed.
Good-for-nothing.
"How is it that a child like you was born unto us?"
Each time she was undergoing training, she would be berated in that manner.
"How is it that, after Lucile, we would give birth to a good-for nothing like you?"
Not a trace of bitterness.
She had never felt bitter about those words.
To put it more accurately, she was never taught about the emotion of feeling bitterness.
That’s why she did not feel bitter.
She did not feel bitter.
She did not feel bitter.
She did not............ want to feel bitter.
Because if she held such a thought, she would not be able to get back on her feet again.
If she carried a trace of such an emotion, she would once again be called a fool, a good-for-nothing.
That’s why Ferris did not feel bitter.
In order not to bring shame onto the name of the Eris House, whatever the circ.u.mstances, one must never lose his calm, never feel pain, and never lose his elegance......
And that led her to losing her facial expressions.
No matter how bitter it felt, how painful it felt, she would always exhibit that expressionless look.
“............ I’m getting up right now.”
She said with a shaking voice, but the wooden sword came again.
The sound of a bone being broken was heard again. Her left shoulder was immobilized.
After she realized that, her mother said.
“Is it really...... is it really okay to use such a good-for-nothing, I wonder? I’m kind of worried.”
And her father,
“Even so, I still have some expectations......”
He said as he gazed at the Ferris who was sprawled onto the ground.
With the same blue eyes.
Embedded within those blue eyes, was a deep despondent look.
“The existence of someone who is not suited for this Eris House is not needed. You should already know that by now.”
Of course she knew.
Ferris looked up at her father.
And,
“............ am I to be killed?”
Her father shrugged his shoulders,
“That possibility exists...... But, I love you. Because, even if you are a good-for-nothing, you are still my adorable daughter.”
That was what he said.
Her father said he loved her.
Ferris squinted her eyes.
Lucile did mention something like that just the day before.
"That goes the same with Tou-sama, Kaa-sama, and Iris as well. We all love you."
She remembered those words.
Love......
Just as she thought, at that moment, it was something she could not comprehend.
But, with that kind of despondent and disappointed look, if she had not yet been killed up until now, was it because they loved her?
Her mother said.
“But for such a good-for-nothing, can she really give birth to a suitable child?”
Her father replied.
“Well, at the very least, Ferris inherited the blood of you and I, who were known as the prodigy siblings that had not appeared ever since the Eris family was founded. Now, if I mix in my own blood again, the possibility does exist, doesn’t it? Anyway, it is necessary to have a child who can surpa.s.s me. Even though as it is of now, in time, it may be possible for Lucile...... but it’s not enough. Since when I was Lucile’s age, I had already surpa.s.sed our father.”
“But that was because Nii-sama is a prodigy. Ah, if only I am able to carry Nii-sama’s child once more......”
As the conversation was unfolding......
Ferris, however, could not understand what they were talking about.
Child?
Siblings?
What was that all about......
But her mother just looked in her direction and said.
“Truly, you should feel honored. For you to be able to carry your father’s child...... now, what are you waiting for? Take off your clothes.”
Ferris was thrown into confusion at those words.
“Tou-sama and Kaa-sama, what are you saying......”
But her mother just frowned,
“Ah, this is exasperating...... this dunce...... who in the world does she take after? That’s enough, quickly take off your clothes.”
She was told......
But her body could not move.
Something in her was resisting.
Something in her was feeling fear.
Her body was shaking......
“Quickly, take them off.”
And she......
Sprung to her feet, and broke into a run.
The words of Lucile were spinning in her head.
Round and round.
Round and round.
"That goes the same with Tou-sama, Kaa-sama, and Iris as well. We all love you."
Those words were circling in her head.
Love.
Love.
Love.
But while those words were churning in her head, she felt nauseous.
She felt a kind of emotion that she had never felt before, fear.
That was fear.
From behind her, her mother’s voice rang out.
“A dunce indeed......”
She should have been running away from this place with all her might, but right before her, her mother appeared......
Ferris, with her still able right hand, raised her wooden sword, and struck out with all her strength.
But still.
In a swift moment, Ferris’s wooden sword was broken into two pieces by a slash from her mother’s wooden sword, and furthermore, her right arm was broken by the impact as well.
“Do you think that the sword of a dunce like you can even scratch me?”
And with a few fast strokes from her mother’s wooden sword, her clothes were ripped into shreds and she was thrown onto the floor......
With a grip on her hair out of nowhere, somehow, she was thrown onto the floor.
It was futile.
The difference in strength was simply too great.
And on top of that, her father was much stronger than her mother and Lucile.
With her strength, there was nothing Ferris could do.
But even so, she wanted to escape from this place.
An overwhelming amount of fear was spreading throughout her......
She was afraid......
Her mother said.
“Here you go, Nii-sama.”
She was afraid......
Her father nodded, and he took his sash off his garments.
She was afraid......
Ferris struggled frantically.
However, she could not even twitch a muscle.
Both her arms were broken, and furthermore she was restrained by her mother......
“Ugh................. ugh......”
She wanted to cry out.
But the fear was so great that she lost her voice.
She could only shiver.
She seemed about to groan......
“U, uwahh...... ahh......”
Her father quietly stretched his hand out towards her.
He stretched out his hand towards the stark-naked Ferris, and was about to touch her.
The next moment.
She thought she lost her mind.
And it was not due to her father’s touch.
The whole world turned red before her eyes.
Truly, everything was red.
But, she immediately realized that it was blood.
It was the blood of the person who was restraining her, her mother.
She saw the body of her mother hit the ground, making a ‘thud’ sound. But it was only the body.
There was no head......
Before her, her father’s expression changed.
“Na............ y, you......”
That was all he said.
And a quiet voice, a really quiet voice......
That voice, that voice that could kill, that voice with a strong feeling of oppression.
“...... well well, Tou-sama. This won’t do. As a member of the Eris House, you shouldn’t show such a face just because something of this level happened. Otherwise, you might be called a dunce, you know?”
It was Lucile.
But he was standing quite a distance away from where Ferris was.
Hanging from his hand, was the head of their mother, with a twisted look of fear.
On hearing that, their father returned to his normal calm expression and looked intently at Lucile.
“............ well? What in the world are you trying to accomplish? I’m well aware that you’ve already surpa.s.sed your mother. But to interfere with me, do you think you would live through this?”
Lucile smiled thinly.
It was the same smile as always.
It was the same smile that Ferris knew too well.
However, that was not what she saw now.
It was more of a smile from the depths of darkness, the smile of a demon......
“Now, what should we do about this.”
As expected, he said it with a quiet voice.
On hearing that, their father looked delighted.
“I see. Are you saying that you have already surpa.s.sed me? So that’s what it’s all about. If that’s the case, then you can be the one to mate with Ferris......”
“Don’t you defile my cute little sister with your vile nonsense.”
Lucile glared at his father.
On saying that, their father’s face changed. He had that same disgusted look their mother did.
“............ I see. You are also a good-for-nothing who knows nothing about the Eris House.”
As he said that, he took up their mother’s wooden sword from the floor.
And then.
“I have no use for a good-for-nothing.”
After saying that, he disappeared.
At the very least, that was how it appeared to Ferris.
She could not catch up to his movement with her eyes at all. That movement was way faster than that of their mother.
It was futile.
As she thought, it was futile.
Even if it was Lucile, it was fut......
But a smile floated on Lucile’s lips.
“Too slow.”
Their father’s sword which suddenly appeared out of nowhere, was blocked by their mother’s head, making a loud cracking sound......
And he smiled.
He smiled.
He smiled.
He smiled.
No matter how many times their father swung his sword, Lucile, with only very slight movements, dodged all of them easily......
In the end, he stopped the sword with his bare hand.
“Haha. Is this the level of someone who is called a prodigy?”
“Wh...... what in the world......”
Their father’s expression changed. Panic and bewilderment. This was the first time they were seeing that kind of expression from their father.
But right after that, somehow, it was no longer important.
Beside that.
Lucile was murmuring very softly.
“........................ first comes destruction. Then rebirth...... destruction...... rebirth...... destruction...... rebirth...... destruction...... rebirth...... destruction...... rebirth...... destruction...... rebirth...... fu, fufu...... fu...... hahaha...... ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.”
Laughing madly.
Laughing madly.
Laughing madly.
Ferris was fearful.
Their father, with a shaking voice,
“Don’t, don’t tell me you......”
On hearing that, Lucile, with a scoffing tone, said.
“You called me a good-for-nothing who knows nothing about the Eris House? The one who knows nothing should be you, eh? Everything has ended, my useless father. The curse of our incestuous practices, the duty of the Eris House, all shall end with my generation. I, alone, shall bear the whole curse. Thus, you decrepit folks of the past, may now exit this stage and rest in peace.”
Their father raised an arm,
“What, what in the world are you talking about? You are mad. That thing...... that thing......”
His arm dropped down.
And that was the end of everything.
Their father’s body was ripped into shreds, with body parts scattered around the place.
Everything became red once again.
Ferris could not move.
Given the circ.u.mstances...... she was probably saved by Lucile.
But Ferris could not move.
She could only shiver.
She could only shiver at the sight of her brother.
Their father was dead.
Their mother was dead.
Bathed in the blood of their parents, covered in red, with a gentle expression, Lucile turned around.
“Now...... there’s no longer anything to fear, Ferris. Everything has ended. From now onwards, I shall protect you.”
On hearing those words.
Ferris suddenly remembered the verse she saw yesterday.