Desire: A Novel

Chapter Twenty.

Devon glanced at me. "It"s a hard one. I mean, it might be nothing, but on the other hand, kids can sense things anyway. I think it would be harder for them to deal with not knowing anything, if that makes sense."

It did. It made a lot of sense. Why couldn"t he have just texted that to me when I asked him that?

A little voice in the back of my head answered.

Because he wanted to see you. He handed me a coffee. I got up, following him into the living room. Like the kitchen, the living room was huge, with the same grey tones and modern furniture.

"Nice." I commented. He shrugged, looking around.



"I like it. I don"t get much time to relax, so when I do, I want to enjoy it."

"Yes, you like to release." I said, before I could stop myself. I stiffened at his amused expression.

Why did I say that? Was that why I was here? Was I just a convenient way for him to relax? The idea irked me as I tried to shake it off.

"Are you okay, Kaitlin?" Devon looked closely at me. Did he have no idea the effect he had on me? How could he possibly be so oblivious?

"I"m fine. Tired." I sighed. "Maybe I should go. I will call a cab." Devon reached out and touched my arm. I froze, his fingers gently stroking my arm. I relaxed back into the seat, silently wishing I had more resolve.

Why couldn"t I just get up and leave?

"Please don"t leave yet." He spoke quietly as he leaned over and kissed me. "I"m sorry if the other day I made you feel less than you"re worth. That was never my intention." He gently kissed my neck, working his way down. "You"re worth the world, Kaitlin." He whispered, gently tilting my neck as he kissed his way back up along it. I breathed in as his lips joined mine.

Turning my body to face him, I sighed as he kissed me deeply. I wanted him so badly. I needed him, and I so badly wanted him to want me. More than I was willing to admit to myself.

"Devon..." My voice trailed off, the words falling away as his hand slipped under my shirt.

He unb.u.t.toned my shirt with a sense of urgency. Cupping my bra, he rubbed my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, our lips entangling in a long, sensual kiss. He stood up, bringing me with him.

"Come with me." I smiled as he undid his shirt, throwing it on the ground. I stepped over it, following him down the hall. We entered his bedroom, him walking backwards towards his bed, taking the view of me half naked in.

"Take off your bra." I obliged, reaching behind me to unclasp the little metal clips. My nipples hardened as he stared at me, a look of longing in his eyes. I tried to read him, to see what he wanted from me. He stepped closer to me, so we were touching. He ran the back of his hand down my cheek, down my neck, and over my breast, stopping short of my naval. I shivered.

"Wow, you are so beautiful. You"re such a s.e.xy girl, Kait." Pushing me back on the bed, he circled his tongue around the point of my nipple, watching me as I watched him.

I bit my lip as his hands made their way down to my s.e.x. He traced his finger along my entrance, through my underwear. His touch made me wet, so ready. He smiled, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on my body.

Then suddenly he stopped.my heart pounded as I wondered what had happened?

"I will be right back." A wicked expression spreading across his face. I watched him disappear out of his room. Now I was just plain curious.

Where the h.e.l.l had he gone?

I took the moment to ease myself out of my skirt and my underwear, laying back naked on my elbows bed when he re-appeared in the doorway.

"How did you know?" I giggled like crazy when I saw him standing before me in his police uniform.

There was something about a man in uniform that made every woman crazy, and I was no exception. Then I saw the handcuffs swinging from his hip.

"Handcuffs, Mr Walkerson? What makes you think I am going to let you use them on me?" I teased, already gripping the bedhead, ready and willing.

"What makes you think I am asking?" He slowly made his way toward me. "I think you need to be taught some manners."

I shivered as Devon reached for my arm. He eased the cuff over my wrist, snapping it into place. He lifted both my wrists above my head, locking the other cuff around the bar on the bedframe and over my wrists. I jumped as it snapped into place. He sat on the edge of the bed.

"Holy s.h.i.t, you"re amazing." He stood over me, gazing down at my naked body. The sight of him in his uniform had me almost ready to o.r.g.a.s.m. He pushed my legs apart, positioning himself on the edge of the bed, his mouth inches from my s.e.x.

He gently blew on my opening, an action that sent ripples of ecstasy through my body. I wanted him so much, and the more want I showed, the more he teased me. Using his index finger, he traced the outline of my s.e.x.

"Oh!" I gasped. The feeling was almost too much. Almost, but not quite. I gasped again as his mouth enclosed over me, his tongue working in ways I"d never knew were possible. He knew just the spot. My hands pulled against the tightness of the cuffs, wanting to break free, but at the same time aroused by the restraint.

"Oh lord, yes!" My back arched, as he slid his hand behind me and pushed his tongue further inside me. I longed to grab hold of his hair and push him harder, deeper. "Yes!" I screamed, finally releasing the climax from my body.

He made his way up my naked body, smiling, licking my taste off his lips. He pushed my legs apart and speared me with his length. I gasped again, his thickness triggering further feelings deep inside me. I took him in, straddling me from above, his uniform soaked with sweat and pleasure.

There was something so unbelievably s.e.xy about being f.u.c.ked by a cop. It didn"t take him long to explode inside of me, the warmth of his excitement still apparent through the thin skin of the condom. He collapsed on top of me, cursing softly to himself as he came.

"There are not enough words to describe how s.e.xy you are, Kaitlin." He rolled off me, and faced me. His finger gently stroked my bare stomach.

"Are you going to un cuff me?"

"I don"t know, I"m kind of loving the look of you right now." That s.e.xy smile spread across his face again as he leaned in for another kiss. He reached above me and unlatched the handcuffs. I moved out from under him, pushing him down on the bed.

"G.o.d, Kait..." He gasped as my body grinded against his. "That was amazing." He breathed, trying to recover his breath.

I smiled. I wasn"t done with him yet. I pushed him onto his back, and straddled him, gently kissing his lips, whilst rubbing myself against him. I could feel him getting hard again. He rolled me back onto the bed, cupping my hands to the bed to show me he was in control.

He kissed my lips, my neck, my chest, my nipple, and then my lips again. He let go of one hand, and traced the outline of my body. I shivered at his touch. He began to tease me, feeling how ready I was. I gasped as he began to rub me. Gently at first, picking up momentum as I began to climax. At the very last minute he entered me and we both exploded simultaneously.

"Wow." I sighed "You"re pretty amazing, Detective Walkerson." I muttered softly, tiredness overpowering all my senses. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was Devon, lying beside me, smiling as he stroked my arm.

Chapter Twenty.

I woke up disorientated. I hadn"t woken in someone else"s apartment in years. Not since I"d first moved to Seattle. My wild days, where nights were spent with various men, and days sleeping off my hangover.

The bed next to me was empty. Cold.

I sat up, remembering that I was at his house. Wrapping the sheet around my naked body, I climbed out of the bed. I could see the light on in the living room. I crept down the hall.

Devon sat at the table, folders stacked high and papers strewn everywhere. He looked up and smiled when he saw me.

"h.e.l.lo." He murmured. He stood up and walked over to me, his eyebrows raised at the sheet I held tightly around my body. "I didn"t want to wake you, you looked so sweet, snoring and all." He whispered softly.

"I don"t snore!" I retorted hotly. Honestly, I had no idea if I snored or not. My face colored. Devon laughed and shook his head.

"You do." He repeated, "But it"s cute. It makes you seem real." He chuckled as I moved the sheet up to cover my face. What, did I talk in my sleep too? And why not throw in some farting? You can"t get more real than that.

"What are you doing?" I nudged my head toward the table.

"Work." He replied, "When I can"t sleep, I go over cases. See if there is anything I"ve missed."

I wandered over to the table, running my hands over the folders. Then I saw it.

"Kaitlin, please don"t." I stopped, feeling Devon"s hand on my shoulder. I didn"t turn around, my eyes stayed focused on the manila folder that was labelled *Kathrine Delancy".

Mom.

I let Devon turn me around until we were eye to eye.

"I can"t let you look at that. Please."

I nodded, not completely sure why this was having such an effect on me right now. I sat down, on the verge of tears.

"She didn"t believe me." I mumbled. Devon knelt beside me, not saying anything. Just listening.

"I told her what he was doing to me, and she didn"t believe me." Devon touched my arm, down my elbow, eventually entangling my hand in his. "I put up with it for two years, Devon. When I saw the way he was beginning to look at Neri, I..." A sob escaped my mouth. I bit down on my lip, hard. I was not going to cry.

"You stopped him from hurting Neri, and that took great courage." Devon pulled me into his arms.

"They blamed me. Mom and Neri. They blamed me for putting him in prison."

"I"m sure that"s not true, Kait. Neri wouldn"t have understood-"

"And mom? What was her excuse? She said I *encouraged" him. I led him on." Devon didn"t reply. His eyes never left mine as he waited for me to let it all out.

"I knew it would be my word against his. I brought one of those teddy bear cameras. You know, where the camera is hidden inside a toy?" I asked. He nodded.

"Genius right? It took two nights for him to rape me again. I caught the whole thing on camera." I shook my head, my hands balling up handfuls of my jacket.

"I had f.u.c.king proof and she still chose not to believe me." The tears were flowing thick and fast now. I was a blubbering mess. Wiping my eyes, I managed a smile.

"I"m so sorry. You didn"t ask for all this." I took the tissue he handed me gratefully.

"Kait. What you did was so brave. Neri understands that now, I can see that from the way she looks at you. She respects you. Your mom, I don"t know. I don"t know what to say. I don"t want to say anything because I might end up regretting it later." He sighed.

Standing up, he paced the short length that was the table. Running both hands through his hair, he turned, extending his hand. I took it, letting him bring me to my feet. I cried out as I overbalanced, sending both of us tumbling to the ground.

"Ouch." He laughed, shaking his head. In spite of myself, I giggled. I"d landed almost right on top of him, and frankly, I didn"t want to move. The awkwardness of the moment had pa.s.sed, when he rolled me over, so he was on top of me.

"Hi." He smiled.

I smiled back. My lips tingled in antic.i.p.ation as I waited to be kissed. My wish was fulfilled, when he leaned down, his soft lips meeting mine. He tugged at the sheet, eventually yanking it free and tossing it aside. His hands roamed my body, my skin screaming at his touch.

"You"re so beautiful." He ran his fingers through my hair, as he stared at me as though he was just seeing me for the first time. We kissed again, his taste something I couldn"t get enough of. "Kait." He breathed, his voice pained. I looked up, confused as he moved himself off me, laying down next to me on the floor. He banged his head against the hard wood of the floor. Over and over.

"What are you doing?" I asked, alarmed, *What"s wrong?"

"We can"t do this, Kait." He sighed. I sat up, confused. This was the second time after as many s.e.xual encounters that he was blowing me off. What the h.e.l.l was wrong with this guy? More to the point, what was wrong with me?

"Seriously Devon? Again? Why the f.u.c.k didn"t you just leave me alone?" I was p.i.s.sed off. Was this some kind of game to him? Did he get a kick out of messing with my feelings?

I struggled off the floor, grabbing the sheet to cover myself with. Storming back to the bedroom, I grabbed my clothes "Because I don"t want to. I can"t." He added, following me. He sighed again, "I told myself last time it wasn"t going to happen again. And then seeing you yesterday..." He sat on a chair, his elbows resting on his knees.

"My partner Lacey? She told my boss she suspects I"m involved with a family member of my current case."

Wow. What a b.i.t.c.h. I had gotten the feeling that she didn"t like me during our brief meeting, but this was extreme.

"Why?" I asked, as I quickly dressed.

He looked up at the ceiling, exhaling. "Lacey and I were a couple. We dated. For a year. She doesn"t handle me being involved with anyone else very well."

"When did it end? You and her?"

"About 18 months ago. It just didn"t work out." He shrugged. I got the feeling that it hadn"t been working out for him, not so much her.

"And you still work together?" I snorted, finding this particularly funny. Devon shot me a look. Okay, so he wasn"t amused. "So she told your boss what, exactly?"

"That I"ve been sleeping with you. I can"t be with you, Kait. Not while this case is still active."

"Right." I nodded, not sure what else I could say, "How long is this case likely to be active? What if she never turns up?"

"Then it will be turned over to another department." He didn"t add that could be months, or even years away. I watched TV. I knew how this all worked. Besides, this all felt a little too convenient. I was completely convinced that had there been no conflict, we"d be all systems a go.

"Okay. Well. Thanks for this. Can you call me a cab please?"

"Come on, Kait, don"t be silly. Let me drive you home." He walked towards me. I held my hands up, indicating I did not want him any closer.

"No, seriously, I"d rather take a cab, thanks." I said, my tone short.

Mumbling under his breath, he grabbed his phone and ordered me a cab.

"I"ll wait outside." I said, walking for the door.

"Kait!" He all but yelled. "Don"t be f.u.c.king stupid. You"re acting like a child. It"s freezing outside!"

"I"m a child?" I laughed incredulously, not quite believing what I was hearing, "You"ve slept with me twice, well three times actually, with no intention of having this go anywhere!"

I opened the door, the cool hit of the air slapping me in the face. My stubbornness winning out, I walked to the curb and sat. I heard the slam of his front door. It was then the tears began to flow.

Maybe I was acting like a child, but all I wanted was some straight f.u.c.king answers. I thought I deserved that much, at least. I felt like I was on a merry go round when I was with Devon, and at any time I was going to fall off.

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