I stood in the kitchen, shocked by his outburst. Where the h.e.l.l had that come from?
I clasped my hands behind my head as I paced the small s.p.a.ce in the kitchen. Why did everything have to be such a mess? Why couldn"t one aspect of my life be okay? I slammed my hands down on the counter, before going back in to check on Sam.
I peeked through the small gap in the door and saw him curled up under the covers, snoring softly. I slowly eased the door shut. Ara looked up as I walked into the living room.
"How is he?" she asked sympathetically. I shrugged.
"He"s asleep. I guess I should tell Neri." I played with my watch, "I think I"ll call in sick tonight." Ara nodded. "I don"t think I could handle...Charlie." I finished.
"It might take your mind off things with your mom, and Devon." Ara shrugged.
Maybe she was right.
"I"ll talk to Neri." This was one conversation I wasn"t looking forward to.
Neri lay over her bed, her schoolbooks spread out around her. She looked up when I knocked.
"Hey." Her face brightened when she saw it was me.
"Homework?" I asked, looking at the books. Advanced human anatomy. She nodded.
"It"s a requirement for the camp. It"s interesting though." I stifled a laugh. Only Neri would find extra homework interesting. I sat down on the floor, next to the bed, my back resting uncomfortably against the chest of drawers. "So what"s up?"
"Devon had some news on your mom today." Neri put down her book, and sat up, facing me.
"Yeah?" She tried to keep her voice even, but I think she knew from my expression, it wasn"t good.
"They found a little bit of blood in a hotel room. Your mom"s blood."
"So what does that mean?" Tears welled in her eyes. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt to stop it from quivering, "Is she dead?"
"She"s not dead. At least they don"t think she is. It"s been transferred to the homicide division though." Neri began to sob.
"Hey." I got to my feet and hugged her, "Shh. It will be okay Neri. She might still be fine."
"Does Sam know?" She asked. I shook my head. He wouldn"t know what it means, and I didn"t want him worrying any more than he already was.
"That"s probably for the best." She agreed, wiping away her tears with the back of her sleeve.
"If she doesn"t come back...what will happen to Sam and me?" My eyes widened in surprise that she even needed to ask that. Did she seriously think I would kick them out?
"Neri. You and Sam are welcome here with me for as long as you need to be." I hugged her tightly, "I wouldn"t abandon you guys."
In the back of my mind, I thought *again".
After everything, I decided Ara was right. Going to work probably would take my mind off things. What happened with Devon earlier was still running through my mind like a bad song. I was relieved when I saw I had no bookings. As much as I did need the money, my feelings toward Charlie were just about as messed up as my feelings for Devon. Charlie intimidated me. I felt young and inexperienced around him. There was something about him that I couldn"t put my finger on, which made it near impossible to put into words. Being with him aroused feelings I never knew I had. Good feelings. Dirty feelings. But on some level he scared me. I could never read what was in his eyes. Having no idea what someone was thinking made them unpredictable, and I didn"t like unpredictable.
Halfway through my shift, the door opened. I looked up. Charlie. My breath caught in my throat.
"Hi." I said, pushing aside my anxieties, and forcing a smile onto my face, "I wasn"t expecting you tonight."
"I wasn"t expecting to be here." His dark eyes looked over me, "My evening surprisingly freed up." He added, handing me his credit card, "I a.s.sume you"re available." My skin p.r.i.c.ked at his tone. Did he think I was always available for him? I was tempted to say no. Sorry, I"m not available.
"I am available." I smiled, swallowing the lump I my throat. I buzzed Emily to cover me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven.
"So." I began. He put his finger to my lips.
"Don"t talk." He smiled, "I"m not here to listen to you talk."
I cringed inwardly at his insinuation. He may as well have said *I"m paying you, do what I tell you". I nodded as his fingers trailed down my bare neck, resting in the crevice between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s.
"Dance for me, Kaitlin." He murmured, his eyes appeared even darker in the soft light of the lamp.
Dance for him? Was he serious? One look at his expression and I knew he was. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and swayed my hips.
"Turn on some music and strip for me Kait. Can I call you Kait?" I nodded numbly, and fiddled with the stereo.
I ran through the playlist, picking the first song I came across.
*Heart"s A Mess", by Gotye.
I almost laughed at the irony. My hips gently swayed to the music. I closed my eyes. This was way too hard to do knowing his eyes were all over me.
I imagined I was standing in front of Devon.
How would I strip for him? Would he like it? Would it excite him?
I smiled, my whole body becoming lost in the music. Flinging my top over my head, I gyrated my hips down to the ground, before swaying over to him. I reached up and undid my bun, my dark hair cascading down just past my shoulders, curling at the ends.
My back against him, I sashayed to the music, my hips grinding against his erection. He grabbed hold of my skirt, tugging it down with such force I almost toppled over. His hand reached out to steady me.
"Keep going." He urged, running a hand over my hip, down my thigh, and back up over the crack of my b.u.m. I swayed my hips in his lap, the sound of his zipper making me fully aware of what was going to happen next.
"Turn around." I turned around, as he lifted me onto his lap, onto his hard length. I gasped as he entered me, his hardness piercing through what felt like half my body. As much as I didn"t want it to, it felt good. Really good. I rocked myself back and forth, my climax building as he watched me. Something about him watching, waiting, turned me on immensely. I clawed at his back as my o.r.g.a.s.m heightened. Finally I screamed out, as my body ached from the pleasure it had experienced.
"Oh G.o.d." I gasped, still gently rocking myself, as if trying to milk as much ecstasy as I could out of the experience. I lifted myself off his still erect length, unable to take the sheer pain caused by every touch post o.r.g.a.s.m.
"Kneel on the floor." He whispered softly.
It wasn"t a suggestion, more of an order. I did, glancing up at him still fully dressed in a suit complete with tie and jacket, his huge length inches from my mouth.
"Take it." He encouraged, gently pushing my head until his hardness was flush against my lips. I kept my eyes on him as I took him in.
He let out a gasp, his hand placing pressure on the back on my head. I ran my tongue up and down his length. His body stiffened as I worked my tongue harder and faster.
"Oh Jesus. f.u.c.k!" He gasped, gripping both hands in my hair, and pulling my head into him. I resisted the urge to dry retch as his length hit the back of my throat. He guided my mouth back and forth, faster and faster as he reached his peak.
"OHH! Holy s.h.i.t. Yes!" He gasped as he released inside my mouth. He relaxed back into the chair, pulling me into his lap. He kissed me forcefully, one hand snaked around my waist and the other at my neck.
"You are amazing, Kaitlin." He murmured, kissing my neck.
As he caressed me, and touched me, I found myself wishing once again that it was Devon underneath me.
I was glad to have had the last two days off work, as I prepared for my exams. It was great being able to laze around the house, studying with Neri, listening to Sam play with his cars. I was struggling to focus on my studies.
Devon hadn"t called since his outburst the other day, and I"d avoided my lit lecture today because I couldn"t handle seeing Charlie.
I was sitting on the couch with my book in my lap when the doorbell rang. For a moment I considered ignoring it, but with the number of people home, someone was bound to answer.
It might as well be me.
I pushed the book aside and trudged down the hall. I opened the door to see Devon. I sighed.
"So are you going to let me in, or do I need to stand out here all night?" My face colored as I stepped against the wall. I glanced back into the kitchen, where I could hear Sam and Neri arguing over something. Ara was in her room.
"Go into the lounge room." I said, "What are you doing here? For someone who wants to stay away from me, you sure need help with figuring out how that works." I shook my head, my dark hair flowing around my shoulders. I pulled it over one shoulder, twirling it around my hand.
"Your hair is so pretty when it"s down." He smiled at me, as he reached out and ran a few strands between his fingers. I ducked back, pulling my hair with me.
"What do you want, Devon?" I demanded, annoyed. He sat down on the sofa.
"I need to tell you something. It"s about your mom." He added, seeing the look on my face, "Look, I"m sorry, this is hard for me to do." He said as he reached behind his back and pulled out something pink. My face flamed as I realized he was holding one of my lacy G-strings.
"Yours?" He commented dryly, dangling it from his little finger. I s.n.a.t.c.hed it off him, shoving the sc.r.a.p of material in my pocket.
"Back to the point, Devon." I snapped.
"Right. The feds have taken over your mother"s case. It turns out the man in the picture is pretty highly linked to an international drug ring."
"Oh." I said softly. It was all I could say. I sat on the arm of the chair, my eyes focused on a dot of paper on the rug, not sure of what else to say.
The FBI.
Did I tell Neri and Sam this?
"I"d probably hold off telling the kids this, Kaitlin. There is really no new information, it"s just they have more suitable experience in dealing with these kinds of cases. She may well be fine." I felt myself nodding again.
"Right. Well, thanks for telling me." I said, standing up.
"Kait?" He hesitated as I looked up at him, "This also means...I"m no longer on your case. Once I have filled the feds in, I"ll have no reason to hara.s.s you anymore." He looked embarra.s.sed, as he should.
Is that what he thought he was doing? Hara.s.sing me?
Was it my imagination, or did he almost sound relieved to be rid of me?
"So, this whole blowing me off thing, it was never really about you being on my mother"s case then, was it?" I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
He hesitated. "Kait, it"s complicated." He sighed, not looking me in the eye. I almost laughed. Complicated?
"Thanks for stopping by, Devon. I really appreciate it." My tone made it clear I was done talking.
He nodded, standing in front of me for a moment, looking like he wanted to say something. Eventually, he simply nodded again and headed for the door.
"Kait, call me if you need to talk." He glanced over his shoulder as he walked out the door, a sadness in his eyes. Was he serious? If I needed to talk, he would be the last person I would call.
I didn"t f.u.c.king get him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight.
Once Sam was in bed, and Neri was finishing up her homework, I got ready for work. The earlier conversation with Devon played over and over in my mind.
The FBI.
That was big. Somehow, it made things seem more serious. I laughed. My mother had been missing for two weeks, and only now it was serious to me?
Until now, I"d thought they"d find mom, holed up in some shack with some guy. Until now, I"d hated her even more for abandoning Neri and Sam, the same way she"d abandoned me.
But now, I felt sad. Sad that Neri and Sam may never see their mom again, sad that any chance of reconciling with mom might have been taken from me.
Did I want to reconcile with her?
It wasn"t even a question of whether or not I forgave her, it was whether she still blamed me for putting John in prison.
And Devon. I shook my head at the thought of him, I was so p.i.s.sed off that I"d let him into my life. No matter how much I wanted to hate him, I couldn"t. The thought of never seeing him again ripped my heart out. Even though things were messy recently, I was still guaranteed being able to see him once or twice a week, about mom. Not anymore though, and the thought of that affected me much more than I wanted to admit.
The only good thing right now was I had raised enough money for Neri"s camp. Once that was paid, I could go back to being a normal girl with a normal job.
One who was not sleeping with her professor.
My phone buzzed. I shuffled through my bag, determined to catch it before it stopped ringing. Just as I put my fingertips on it, the ringing stopped.