"I couldn"t," Sarah told him baldly, "David was one of James" pet writers."
"Oh, yes ... yes, of course, I"d forgotten that..." He picked a typewritten sheet up off his desk.
"When Joss came to join us it was on the understanding that he would be able to vet his staff and make whatever alterations he thought fit."
Here it comes, Sarah thought numbingly, steeling herself for the blow.
Why on earth hadn"t she handed in her notice and left while she still had pride intact? She had known all along what would happen.
Steven was studying the sheet of paper in his hands.
"Joss is very impressed with the work you"ve done on our women"s fiction list, Sarah... very impressed indeed."
Silently Sarah digested the sugar knowing the pill was on its way.
sensing the as yet unspoken "but" she was sure would follow.
"But..." Steven continued, avoiding looking at her, "he is concerned that you lack a certain. toughness shall we call it . when it comes to dealing with the authors. David is a case in point here--a rather extreme one I know--but you are a sensitive little thing, Sarah, I must confess I had no idea that you were having all these problems with David. You know, you really should have told me.
Anyway . to get back to the matter in hand. For the time being Joss wants to take the women"s fiction list under his own control. He suggests that to facilitate this you work for him as his personal a.s.sistant . you would still be responsible for the initial selection of the list. Joss would simply take over from you when it comes to dealing with the authors, and making the final choice. "
It was not what Sarah had expected. She blinked in bewilderment. Why on earth should Joss want her as his a.s.sistant? Unless . another thought struck her. No doubt he expected her to refuse the job . to hand in her notice rather than work for him, which would then totally absolve him, in Steven"s eyes, for being responsible for her losing her job. Very clever, she thought bitterly. But it wasn"t going to work.
At this moment in time she was so keyed up and angry that she would have worked for the devil himself rather than give in to Joss"s blatant manoeuvrings.
"Well, if that"s what Joss feels is best," she heard herself saying huskily.
"I can"t pretend that I"m not disappointed."
"Of course.. of course..." Steven soothed her, plainly relieved that he was not going to be faced with a bout of tears or protests, "but it really is for your own protection, Sarah and there"ll be no question of a reduction in salary. "
"That"s very generous of you." She said it mechanically, getting up out of her chair. The room swayed distressingly around her, and she was conscious of an empty aching feeling in the pit of her stomach.
She hesitated at the door, knowing that right at this moment in time it would be impossible for her to face any one else, least of all Joss himself.
"I...1 have a headache..." she fibbed at last.
"I was wondering if I might go home."
"Yes.. yes.. of course you can, Sarah." Steven was looking at her with concern.
"Please don"t get upset about this. I promise you it"s not a reflection on your ability and it won"t be the only change Joss makes in the department. Once you"ve gained a little more experience in dealing with the authors you"ll be back in charge of your own department."
And pigs might fly, Sarah thought achingly as she stepped out into the spring sunshine several minutes later. All she wanted to do right now was to hide herself away from everyone. She could just imagine the gossip there would be when the news broke. How could she face the rest of the staff? She couldn"t. She stopped abruptly on the pavement causing the woman immediately behind her to glare at her as she had to sidestep to avoid cannoning into her. And wasn"t that what Joss was bargaining on . that her pride would not let her stay on with the firm in an inferior position. Oh yes, he had been very clever. He knew that Steven was far too sentimental and soft hearted to dismiss her outright so he had managed things so that she would leave of her own free will . but she was not going to do so. No. No matter what it cost her . she would work for him as his a.s.sistant, and she would make him regret the day he had suggested to Steven that she be offered that particular post, she thought viciously, as she headed for the underground.
By the time she let herself into her flat her fict.i.tious headache had become a reality. All she wanted to do was to lie down, but she forced herself to strip off her office suit and blouse first, dropping thankfully on to her bed wearing just her underwear and waiting for the painkillers she had taken to take effect.
She was woken from a confused dream about Joss by the ring of the doorbell. Still muzzy from the painkillers, she staggered into the bathroom to pull on her to welling robe, making her way across the living room to the small hall.
She opened the door automatically and then gasped with shock as she saw David standing outside.
"David!"
Too late she saw the expression on his face, her muzziness drowned out by the sharp spearing panic bursting into life inside her as he pushed past her and into her flat.
"Thought you"d been very clever, didn"t you?" he demanded thickly waving a bundle of papers under her nose, "getting that fine lover of yours to send me this. "
Sarah could only stare at him, frozen with fear and shock. What was David doing here? What did he mean?
"I suppose it was all your idea, wasn"t it?" he snarled viciously, advancing so close to her that Sarah was forced to move backwards into her living room. She was trembling with an ever-increasing sense of disbelief and terror. She had no idea what David was talking about .
but she could guess, couldn"t she? He must have received Joss"s rejection of his ma.n.u.script.
Her suspicions were confirmed when he continued vengefully, "Well, you needn"t think I"m going to leave it there. No one gets to make a fool of me and believe me it"s been tried by experts." His mouth twisted and suddenly he was the most dangerous man Sarah had ever seen. Why had she never noticed before how small and close set his eyes were? How fleshy and repulsive his mouth. She closed her eyes and knew she had made a bad mistake as she felt his fingers dig, into her shoulders.
"Thought you were so clever finding yourself another lover, and then getting him to get rid of me ... didn"t you? But not as clever as you thought. Why shouldn"t I enjoy a little piece of the action you"ve been giving him ... compensation for ruining my career? You frigid little b.i.t.c.h... You"re too cold to appreciate real s.e.x, either verbal or physical and it was your prudish interference that got my work rejected, don"t think I don"t know that."
"You"re wrong." Sarah tried to sound firm, but knew she had failed.
She tried to fight free of him, but his hold on her only tightened. a thick tide of dark colour was seeping up under his skin and she realised sickly that her fear was exciting him. Those scenes he had written into his books had been his own sick fantasies she thought, suddenly seeing the truth . and he would enjoy putting them into practice.
Rape was an ugly word. She had heard about women being attacked in their own homes and had wondered how it had ever happened . how they would ever be able to feel safe anywhere again . and now, she who had always been so sensitive to other people"s fears, was experiencing that wholly feminine terror for herself. She wanted to scream and fight but she sensed to do so would only inflame him further. Reason with him .
try and keep calm, an inner voice urged her, but it was like telling herself to climb Mount Everest equipped with nothing more than her own feeble strength.
Even so she tried . forcing herself to explain that she had had no real part in Joss"s decision;
that she hadn"t even realised he had written to David.
"You"re lying." He said it so viciously that Sarah knew he did not want to believe her. He wanted to have an excuse to punish her to hurt her and she supposed that not even a man like David could rape a woman in cold blood . he had to have something to goad him . to use as an excuse to defend himself. She was trembling, and she could see his pleasure in her weakness. It was no use fighting. She closed her eyes against weak tears. Perhaps it would simply be better to let him get it over with and yet the moment she felt the fetidness of his breath against her skin, every muscle in her body clenched in desperate protest. If he touched her more intimately she would be sick . she knew it. "Little b.i.t.c.h. Pretending to me that you were so innocent and pure when all the time... Enjoyed it, did you? Well, I"m going to enjoy making you pay for trying to make a fool of me. I needed to have that ma.n.u.script accepted. I needed the money it would have brought in but you..."
He was whipping himself up into a state of intense fury, Sarah realised . panic flaring through her. "Well, let"s just see if you"re as good as he obviously thinks you are."
He was tugging at the cord securing her robe, and taking advantage of her freedom from the biting pressure of his fingers, Sarah broke free of him, tearing back into the hall.
He caught her in the doorway, exhibiting a speed she never expected, the force of his body weight slamming her back against the wall.
Sarah cried out sharply with pain, the breath jolting out of her body as she simply crumpled up like a broken doll.
"Stop that." He hit her sharply across the face.
"Stop that noise. We don"t want anyone coming to see what"s going on, do we...?"
Spittle flecked his mouth and Sarah stared in fascinated revulsion as he dragged her up against the wall. It was a nightmare, it had to be .
things like this simply didn"t happen. But it was happening, she realised frantically a few seconds later, as David"s weight kept her pressed against the wall and his hands groped with the top of her robe, wrenching it off her shoulders as he reached for her breast.
She felt the sickness gag in her throat as she screamed out a tormented denial of what he was doing and then she felt the sheer fabric of her bra tear, his fingers squeezing painfully at her breast as he leaned his full weight against her, grinding his hips into her body.
She was going to be sick, Sarah thought dizzily . she. "Sarah..."
The front door which David had left unlocked, opened and Joss stepped into the hallway.
He took in the whole of what was going on in less time than it took Sarah to draw the breath to cry out his name.