"I am," Joss agreed.
"Well, remember, darling, that I expect you to come down and stay with me later this month. I should have finished the first draft by then and I want you to go over it with me. It"s such a nuisance that I have to fly back to Cannes tonight... and such a pity that you can"t come back with me."
She was looking at her, as though she personally were responsible for that fact, Sarah reflected, wondering what Helene would say if she realised how dearly Sarah would love to see Joss go with her.
Probably never believe her, Sarah thought wryly. What woman worthy of the name would pa.s.s up on an opportunity to have Joss all to herself?
No sooner had the thought formed than Sarah dismissed it. She had no right to any personal interest in Joss whatsoever, she reminded herself. None at all. And yet it was impossible not to feel jealous as Joss slid his arm round the other woman"s shoulders and guided her back through the hall, calling over his shoulder to Sarah to follow them.
She couldn"t love him . it was impossible that she should and yet she did. It hadn"t been simply desire or propinquity that had urged her to go with him the night of the ball . somewhere deep inside herself she had instinctively recognised him as the man she would love. She could come up with no rational explanation for this, but nevertheless it was true. She had gone with him because not to do so would have been impossible . and yet it would have been far, far better if she had not.
She followed Joss into a large shadowy drawing room and was suddenly and very bitterly angry with him, instinctively she sensed that he was deliberately highlighting for her benefit the s.e.xual relationship that existed between himself and Helene. Almost instantly the hot heat of her anger changed into sick misery. Could this really be the same man who had held her in his arms;
who had made love to her in a way that. but no, she wasn"t going to think about that. She mustn"t think about it.
Instead, she studied her surroundings, seeing that the large drawing room was filled with various oddments of furniture, none of it apparently of any particular age or style. She came out of her reverie to hear Helene saying to Joss, "Darling, this place is such a mess. I don"t understand why you"re insisting on staying here. Surely it would be much better to stay away until the work is finished..."
"If I could trust the contractors to keep to then- time schedule then, yes, it would be, but unfortunately I can"t, which is why I, and incidentally Sarah, are here." He stood up and glanced at his watch.
"Didn"t you say you had to leave for your flight?"
"Unfortunately, yes..." Again the pout.
"Come and see me off then, darling and then you can get on with your work in peace."
Again she linked her arm through Joss"s, making no attempt to speak to her, Sarah noticed, but she wasn"t really bothered. She heard their footsteps ringing across the died hall, the front door opened and then there was silence. A silence that stretched for a considerable length of time. Unwanted and tormenting mental images slid treacherously into her mind. It was all too easy to picture Helene in Joss"s arms.
Eventually she heard a car engine fire, and then within a few seconds Joss was back. Sarah blinked as he switched on the main light. In its glare she could see how shabby the elegant room was. She knew that Joss was coming towards her, but she kept her attention fixed firmly on the fireplace, refusing to look round.
"You"ve brought everything I asked for with you?"
Sarah knew that she should have been relieved by his businesslike manner, but contrarily she was not. Politeness if nothing else demanded that she at least look at him as she gave him her confirmation, but she wished she had not when she saw the lingering imprint of Helene"s lipstick against his jaw and mouth. So what had she thought they were doing ouside . discussing their mutual work?
"Everything"s in the car," she added tiredly.
"If you"ll tell me where you want it, I"ll go and bring the boxes in."
"It can wait until the morning." He glanced at his watch again and frowned.
"It"s gone midnight...1 expected you earlier."
"Well, it"s lucky that you were disappointed then, isn"t it?" Sarah responded with a cool mockery that surprised herself.
"Meaning?"
She hadn"t expected his dulcet challenge and had to fight to stop the betraying colour flooding her skin, as she forced herself to meet it.
"Meaning that had I arrived earlier you would have had less time with Helene."
He smiled tigerishly and said softly, "Jealous, Sarah?"
She had a momentary and insane desire to strike out and destroy the smiling mockery on his face, but fortunately managed to control it.
How dare he change tracks like this, twisting her remarks so that their conversation had turned from the impersonal to the personal, she wondered despairingly, quite forgetting that she had been the first to make the challenge. Banking down her anger she said coldly.
"Of course not... how could I be?"
For a moment she thought she saw something akin to anger cloud his eyes, but it was gone before she could be sure--his voice as cool but much drier than her own as he agreed.
"How, indeed?"
"To experience jealousy one must first love," Sarah protested doggedly, determined to have the final word.
"Where did you learn that little home truth?" He was almost snarling at her now.
"From someone else"s writing ... certainly not from personal experience, eh, my little virgin..."
The taunt hurt, sliding through her guard like a rapier through tender skin, reaching to Where she was most vulnerable. As she battled against betraying her pain she saw the sardonic expression in Joss"s eyes. He had won this encounter, she would have to give him that, she acceded painfully to herself.
"I"m rather tired. Joss," she said not troubling to hide the weariness that suddenly seemed to have dropped over her.
"If you could tell me where I"m going to sleep."
He smiled again, not kindly, and opened the door behind him.
She followed him automatically, stopping half way up the stairs as though the breath was driven out of her lungs when he threw laconically over his shoulder, "What if I told you you were sleeping in my bed, Sarah?"
She could feel time tick relentlessly by as she fought against the insidious memory of his hands on her body, his mouth against her skin.
Slow shudders of remembered pleasure built up insideher, threatening to destroy her self-control."That would be fine," she managed to say at ;
last.
"Just as long as you were sleeping somewhere else."
He waited until they were both at the top of the stairs before making any comment, turning slightly towards her so that his face was in the shadows and hers was not. It was almost eerie, listening to his voice without being able to see his expression properly.
"You"re a liar, Sarah," he told her quietly, "and I could take you to my bed right now and prove it to you. "
It was only the suddenly p.r.i.c.kly sense of danger that gave her strength to say coolly:
"And you. Joss, are a very arrogant man. I"m not going to deny that I found pleasure in your lovemaking--I did ... but I"ve already told you why I went to bed with you and that statement still stands."
She held her breath waiting for his response, but all he did was move ahead of her down the shadowy corridor, stopping outside one of the several doors.
"Sorry about the poor lighting," he apologised laconically as he pushed open the door.
"The electrical contractors are half way through rewiring. The kitchen and most of the downstairs are done, but they haven"t got this far yet... 3 " None of the bedrooms have been touched I"m I afraid--I got someone up from the village to clean this one for you. "
Sarah stepped past him and grimaced faintly at the brightly hued, old-fashioned wallpaper, but as he had said, the room was clean, the bed looked comfortable, if somewhat old-fashioned, and after all she would only be staying a few nights.