Desolate Mage: A Legend Reborn!

"Lars, can I ask you something...?"

"Mmm hmm...? What...?"

Lars was sitting at a roadside pull-cart diner.

He had already finished his takoyaki and was now eating a bowl of unknown meat on a pile of suspicious yellow leaves that could maybe, just maybe be considered vegetables... His plate of food was placed on the surface of a wooden carton that served as a table, and he was seated beside the stall owner"s wagon that had been converted into a makes.h.i.+ft kitchen.

"...Why are you such a b.a.s.t.a.r.d...?"

"...Will you let it rest already...? How many times have I told you, I"m sorry, okay???" Lars answered in irritation, though deep inside he was still giggling madly at the prank he had played.

He could still remember the looks on Kizorik and Velzash"s faces when they excitedly bit into their piping hot (supposedly) potato flour b.a.l.l.s covered in a dash of dodgy red sauce.

Then they had been chewing enthusiastically and happily for a while, before one sentence came out of each of their mouths (at the same time) that changed their day from one of joy to one of grieving...!

"Wow! The vegetables nowadays are amazing! They taste just like fish meat!" / "d.a.m.n! The fish nowadays is terrible! It tastes just like vegetables!"

Then as the two demons busily munching their food gradually realised what the other had just said, they slowly stopped chewing and turned their heads to glance at each other"s faces... Then to look at the takoyaki in their own boxes and compare notes.

Before they began wretching out and spitting onto the floor whatever they had been eating!

At this part, Lars was well and truly amused, but also taken aback - they were literally regurgitating onto the floor of his mental world, which he couldn"t help but feel very offended at! This was a world built in his consciousness, you know... The floor of which was now covered by the two demons" vomit... Ugh!

Suffice to say, Kizorik and Velzash were more than just mildly unhappy at his little prank. They were livid!

And for the past 15, 20 minutes, they had not stopped jabbering yammering and nagging in his ears, showing Lars that there were more than 100 ways of insulting someone, much to his surprise and shock!

Kizorik showed a variety of personal attacks and criticisms, some which actually did sting Lars emotionally. In fact, it was such a wide range of methods of character a.s.sa.s.sination that even Lars decided to take note and write some of them down!

Whereas Velzash had just turned green and began to shake uncontrollably. Then the fairy-demon started to cry, making Lars feel bad! Just a little bit...

It turned out that for Velzash, his const.i.tution and body did not allow him to eat any amino acids i.e. the compounds and building blocks that made up meat! If he did, if it were just a little bit, he would turn really really sick and not be able to function properly for days or weeks!

And if it were enough... He might even die!

Of course, Lars took note of these points for future blackmail... Ahem, I mean, for reference to make sure Velzash was eating safely, yup, that"s right! That was definitely why he was making a mental note to never forget as he made a sinister and gesugao expression while cackling maniacally!

And as for the penguin"s incessant nagging and ingenius ways of insulting him...

Lars managed to put an end to it by a simple threat.

"Between us, who"s the one who earns money here...???"

"...."

"And who"s the one who"s been spending to buy useless toys, trinkets and snacks for you???"

"...." Kizorik was even more speechless and could not retort with a single word to that as well.

"AND who"s the only one here who has managed to earn a single Abyss Point (AP) so far???????"

".....ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I GET IT ALREADY STOP RUBBING IT IN!!! I"LL STOP HARPING ON YOU OVER THE BALL SNACKS, OKAY OKAY!!! YOU HAPPY??? HUHH??????!!!"

Lars smiled contentedly as he continued eating his unidentifiable meal of "meat" and "vegetables".

He noticed that ever since he had received the golden glowing inheritance and began to be unceasingly hungry, every time he ate meat, he would be able to sense discrete and clear changes to his body!

In fact, even eating this rotten meat gave him a boost in strength, albeit less than 0.01%, but it was still an amount that his soul-imprint of Insight allowed him to precisely sense! And this was even when eating something that might not even count as meat, something that was most likely devil or monster flesh seasoned so much that it was no longer recognisable or edible to mankind!

He was quite pleased despite the ache in his stomach and wallet from all this eating. He also was beginning to grow worried...

He"d better reunite with Charley and get started on their money-making ways!

"Charley...?" Lars eyes turned as wide as saucers as he finally realised that he had completely forgotten his first employee!

"OH c.r.a.p!!!" Lars panicked as he made sure to finish off every last bite of his meal before paying and running off towards the inn they were lodging at.

"What if Charley is already in jail by now?!! That will mean... That means..."

Lars felt a sense of pressing crisis constricting on his chest as his heart beat furiously and his breaths became short and shallow.

"That means it"ll cost me a bomb to bail him out!!!"

But then Lars cheered up.

He could just blow up the jail and rob those corrupt City Guards, right...?

He grinned rakishly and ran even faster towards his destination and the promise of money to line his pockets!

Only to be obstructed by a group of nearly 15 cloaked desert riders on their healthy and well-fed Sar"peh, led by a group of 4 who were clearly their leaders.

The first was one he recognised - it was the man who had grabbed him and tried to kidnap and kill him earlier, the Sand Crab Byrus. Lars giggled a bit at that name. The man had his hood pulled over his head and had shaved off all his hair, perhaps to avoid himself from being confused with "Great Lord Mikael" again!

The others were a golden-haired loli with an innocent face holding a pogo stick; a rather tall and thin cloaked man who looked rather cool, if not for the fact that he had protruding front teeth; and a solemn-faced man with the aura of a rapist, killer and card-cheat all at the same time, large and tall with an impressive physique!

Snake Spear King l.u.s.t, Dagger of Destruction Viyash and Mountain-smasher Adron of the Sand Crab Bandits!

Sand Crab Byrus locked his gaze on Lars with eyes blazing with fervent pa.s.sion - but all four of Lars, l.u.s.t, Viyash and Adron misunderstood his look to be one of the exhilaration of close-by vengeance and the burning of anger!

So Lars c.o.c.ked one eyebrow up and asked loudly, "What do you lot want! Haven"t had enough of a beating, huh???"

"Erm, Lars... You didn"t beat them up at all right..."

"I know, it"s just a line I heard from a drama before, and I didn"t really know what else to say to provoke them so I can righteously rob them of everything they have!"

"...Whatever! Anyway they"re just some weaklings, be quick and be done with it!"

"Yeah yeah..."

Upon hearing Lars" aggressive words, all three of the Byrus" lieutenants frowned deeply as their faces turned into scowls of murderous rage! Snake Spear King l.u.s.t then quickly leaned over and whispered to Byrus" ear and asked, "Psst... Boss! Is this the person you brought us to see...? He"s the one (who killed big bro Raghu)...?"

Byrus quietly nodded, his lower lip trembling as he did so. But he seemed reserved and did not make a move as he answered, "Yes, he"s the one (who I brought you all to recognise as your new big boss, lord and G.o.d, Lars)...!"

Upon hearing Byrus" response, l.u.s.t signalled with her eyes to her brothers and nodded slightly, then the three of them rapidly marched forward to surround the 15-year-old boy, with the loli woman facing him from the front.

Byrus looked on, shocked but also pleased that his long-time followers had so easily accepted their new boss...! Or so he thought...

"Kid! You look like you haven"t even stopped suckling on your mother"s t.i.ts for a month! Hahahah!" l.u.s.t, the adorably cute and innocent looking loli yelled out an incredibly crude insult into Lars face, which caused Byrus to choke on his own saliva in shock!

"W-w-w-what is my blood sister doing??? Wasn"t she going to eagerly acknowledge Lars as her boss???"

And at the same time, Lars" face turned black as he frowned and his mouth began to twitch. It was illogical! He didn"t even know his own mother, so how could he have been breast-fed...?

"Nonsense! What are you even talking about??? Are you crazy???" He spat out the words angrily in response, drawing gasps from the raiders and the now-gathering crowds.

What audacity to mince words with the most ruthless of the lieutenants, Snake Spear King l.u.s.t! How dare this boy challenge her, was he seeking a painful death!? At least if he were humble and meek, l.u.s.t might even keep him as a boy toy to pleasure her in the desert! But if he were so rude like this, he would surely be subjected to a far worse fate; to be pa.s.sed around the camp to be "savoured" in turn by every member of the Sand Crabs!

"!!!!!!!" l.u.s.t turned even more angry, so enraged was she that her face turned bright red and her nose twitched!

"You...!!! You!!!" She sputtered in rage but could not think of how to follow-up as she was not that skilled at bantering and could not keep up with the boy who had been trained by both the foul-mouthed Kizorik and the glib Charley!

At that, Dagger of Destruction Viyash patted l.u.s.t on the shoulder to comfort her and as if saying, "Sister, don"t worry, step back - it"s my turn!"

Then Viyash confronted Lars face to face, even going so near as to almost touch his nose.

He sneered at Lars then brought his thumb to his own throat and drew his thumb across his neck, making a "slitting throat" motion slowly. This was met by shouts and cheers of encouragement from the other raiders and murmurs of worry from the surrounding stall owners and businessmen.

A fight breaking out right here in the market would cause chaos for their business! Things were already bad enough as it were, they couldn"t afford any further losses in light of the hard times!

Alas, they had no strength to stop the confrontation that was happening!

Viyash continued to sneer right into Lars" face as he stood there, expecting the boy to start grovelling for his life.

But to his surprise, Lars blinked expressionlessly a few times as if expecting Viyash to do something more, before a grumbling, gurgling sound was heard - the boy"s stomach rumbling!

Viyash looked on aghast as Lars reached down and pulled out a takoyaki ball and popped it into his mouth - right in front of him!

"BOY! Y-y-y-you dare disdain us of the Sand Crabs!!!? I"ll kill you!!!" Viyash roared, and at those words, he stepped backwards in a flash and reached to his waist to unsheathe his two heavy curved bladed knives, his kukri!

It was not just him who bared their fangs and prepared to strike the boy down - all of the raiders still seated on their Sar"peh unsheathed their scimitars or brandished their spears as they prepared to strike down the arrogant young c.o.c.k!

Even the golden-haired loli who was still seething in anger at being scolded to her face aimed her staff at him, ready to strike at a moment"s notice, while Mountain-smasher Adron smoothly took up a fighting pose with his right fist forward and left hand in an open palm stance!

Despite the Sand Crab lieutenants and their men outnumbering Lars significantly, they dared not take him lightly. This was a boy who had managed to cleanly one-shot Sword King Raghu, the strongest of their blood brothers and sisters! They were all merely at the Master level unlike Sand Crab Byrus, and they were taking this fight completely seriously!

The tension in the air was electrifying as both sides prepared to engage in a major conflict, while Lars...

Continued to eat his octopus b.a.l.l.s! Munching on them with satisfaction!

Seeing this happen, even the murderous looking and heavily muscled Adron was stunned!

"Y-you... You dare to disrespect and disregard us of the Sand Crab raiders!?? You only have yourself to blame for your death, child!! DIE!!!"

And with that yell, the three lieutenants of the Sand Crabs readied their weapons...

Only to be quickly and suddenly slapped into the ground... From behind!

Coughing and sputtering out dirt, dusty and earth, they hurriedly jumped to their feet and warily faced the enemy who had struck them from the backs - and were shocked to see their a.s.sailant was none other than their very own boss, Byrus!

"B-b-boss!!!? What--" All three of the lieutenants stared in disbelief along with Lars who was equally confused!

*PIAK!* *PIAK!* *PIAK!*

But before they could even ask the question, the trio of raiders were sent flying into the buildings in three different directions, spinning like a top as they soared through the air from a sharp, tight slap from Byrus!

While they were struggling to rise to their feet and while Lars" mouth was hanging open so wide that he could fit a whole grapefruit into it, Byrus stood with his cloak fluttering in the wind and with the dignity of a king as he declared loudly the following words.

"Whoever insults our lord and G.o.d Lars shall be punished! No excuses and no forgiveness! Only a tight slap awaits whoever dares to disrespect G.o.d Lars! All hail G.o.d Lars! All hail G.o.d Lars!"

The Sand Crabs felt like fainting as their heads spun and their minds reeled with shock.

They could not understand what was happening as they watched their eminent leader prostrating himself in fear and trembling to wors.h.i.+p Lars on his knees!

"O-o-our boss..."

"Has gone crazy..."

Lars shook his head and forced his soul to return from flying away in shock, and decided to take it all in stride as he asked:

"Ahem ahem... I, err, your lord and G.o.d...? Hereby give my first command!"

He stood up straight and raised his head to the sky as he delivered those words, then from out of the corner of his eyes, his pupils swivelled over to land on the mounted raiders whose hairs stood on end and bodies were covered in gooseb.u.mps when they heard what he said.

"I command you to..."

"Give me those Sar"peh as a snack... I mean, as a s-sacrificial offering!"

The Sand Crabs fainted right there and then, leaving Lars to grumble disgruntledly, saying, "Something"s wrong in this world... Fainting seems to be their hobby!"

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For those who"ve forgotten, gesugao is "The face a villain makes before they are defeated so that the reader will not empathise for them so much."