1660G.o.ddess it hurts. These wounds are peeling and the pain is almost unbearable.
We have moved again, this time though; we shall not get close to the village. I trust no one who does not understand. Humans can"t be trusted.
They have persecuted me for my knowledge, burned me at the stake because their crops wilted and livestock died. And mine did not. They claimed that I had cursed them but it had not been witchcraft, it had been knowledge. I had learned of irrigation from the samurai and knew what to do with my land to grow my crops. But they wouldn"t listen and accused me of being a witch. Then they burned me!
I met a man though named Silas, who took me home that night and nursed me until Cas and the others got there. He explained what had happened as Lena took over the nursing. He not only helped me but he saved and reignited my hope in humanity. There might still be something to fight for in this world if more humans were like him.
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I did not move for months, I do not even know how long it had been before Cas found a new home for us all. As soon as I could move around, we packed our things and moved here. We are farther from the village here and deeper in the wood. I like it, it is peaceful. We have a creek that runs near the house and I find myself there quite a bit, soaking in the cool running water. I usually only go at night though because I fear being seen. I am disfigured now; I look like some sort of monster. My skin is tight and no longer smooth on my bones and my hair is still gone. I really am a fright. Cas tries not to look sometimes but I know that it causes him pain. He wishes that he had been there to stop them. But he was not. No one was.
My body aches most of the day and I find it hard to sleep. I am so weak from exhaustion and my wounds. I can finally move on my own now, though. In the last six months I have healed quite a bit but the dead skin is still peeling off and it is excruciating.
On a good note though there are plenty of herbs around the creek that supply my herb pantry. Sage grows not too far from here. Lothair and Leon bring me fresh sage when they return from a hunt. My rosemary is wonderful and healthy. My thyme is beautiful. Everything here is so plush and wonderful.
Leon is still coping with things. I think my and Lena"s blood calls to him as it should. I still find it hard to care though. I find myself wishing sometimes that he would give in and bite me so that I would not have to see Darin every time that I look at him. I wish I could say that I was not serious but I cannot. It still hurts so much. I thought about telling him about Darin but I cannot bring myself to talk about it aloud, to anyone.
I wonder if I ever will tell him. If I will ever have the nerve, if I will ever be able to forgive him. If I can ever be even friends with him, I do not know. I do not know if I will ever know.
Dru