Destiny Dreams And Demons

Today was the funeral. The last few days had been h.e.l.l planning the ceremony, the flower arrangements from family and friends, the cremation and urn for Josh"s ashes and music for it all. Denise had tried to help between breakdowns and I had found comfort in allowing myself a thought or two of Him.

Veda stayed by my side nearly the entire time and even Mitch.e.l.l, Bobby and the other guys from Josh"s work stopped by to see what they could do to help. I had never realized how loved Josh had been until now.

Now I stood in front of my mirror looking at myself. My hair was pulled back into a twist with a few stray strands around my face and ears. I had done my makeup dark and smoky around my eyes. My black dress was long and form fitting and I wrapped my shawl around my shoulders and turned away from my reflection.

I swiftly walked through the bedroom avoiding a glance at anything that would make me think of Josh. I nearly raced down the stairs to the front door where Veda and Mitch.e.l.l were waiting. "Are you okay, Ab?" Veda asked as I stopped suddenly in front of her.

"About as okay as I could be on a day like today," I answered solemnly with a sigh. I looked at Veda and saw a box of tissues in her hand. I smiled slightly at her and she shrugged her shoulders.

"I figured we might need these today," Veda chuckled and Mitch.e.l.l shifted his weight. I could tell that he was anxious about the funeral, too. Our eyes met and we exchanged a glance of rea.s.surance to each other. Tears tried to meet my eyes and burned at the thought of crying again, my tear ducts lit up from the lack of moisture. I had cried so hard and so long over the last few days that I felt as if I had no more tears to cry. "So are you ready to go?" Veda chimed in.

I grabbed my coat and looked over at her, took a deep sigh and gave a slight smile in response. She reached out and took my hand as we all turned to walk out the door.

The ride to the funeral home was a quiet one. Mitch.e.l.l drove his extended cab pickup truck with Veda in the backseat with me. We didn"t talk much and we all were in our own little worlds. Mine of course was of Cion.

Now there were mermaids in my dreams. This of course made me think about a day that had existed months ago, when I had gone to a beautiful oasis with the man I was now saying goodbye to. That day, I had seen mermaids as we swam to sh.o.r.e. I remembered that day in vivid detail. I remembered the anxiety that I had felt as I blindly rode to the beach. I remembered the smell of the water in the air, the warmth of the sun on my skin and the feel of the breeze. I remembered being there with Josh, the feelings of love in my heart, his eyes, his kiss and the way that he had made love to me on that beach.

Suddenly, a wave of emotion washed over me and flooded my eyes. Tears found my eyes from somewhere and gushed over and down my cheeks. I curled over on myself in the backseat and balled like a child. It was uncontrollable. The pain wracked my body so hard that Veda reached over and tried to comfort me but to no avail. The hole in my chest pulsed wider with every heartbeat until it felt as if I were in two individual pieces. I heard a gentle, long shush coming from Veda as she tried to hold me in her arms and her emotions at bay. She held out a tissue in front of me and I took it to dry up my face. Of course that was of no use because as soon as I had dried my face new tears streamed down my cheeks. Mitch.e.l.l stayed quiet as he concentrated on driving but his eyes said it all. I looked up into the rear view mirror just as he had and I could see the tears well up in his eyes.

"Calm yourself, M"lady, deep breaths." I heard in my mind as if I had heard it from within myself. It was a man"s voice, very calm and tranquil and very familiar to me. I couldn"t place why but I calmed myself, as the voice had instructed and began breathing deeper. Within a few minutes my body stopped shaking in pain and the sobs dwindled away to mere sniffles. I looked out of the window to see the funeral home and some of the family standing outside.

We stopped at the front of the building and the funeral coordinator opened my door for me. He offered his hand and I accepted it as he gently pulled me out of the truck and quietly informed me that everything was as it had been planned. I cordially smiled at him in appreciation and welcomed another hand. Denise was standing in front of me looking like a mother determined to be strong on this very sad day. Behind her was Leiman, who stood tall next to his sister, Liza and brother-in-law, Aiden.

"Abby, it"s time to go inside," Denise called and began to lead me away. I looked into her face. Her eyes were sorrowful but her posture was still firm.

We walked together through the doors with Leiman and Liza just behind us.

As we reached the front pews, where we were all to sit, Veda and Mitch.e.l.l showed up so that I had Veda on one side of me and Denise on the other. Veda pulled out her small box of tissues and handed Denise and me a handful each. We both gave her slight smiles in appreciation and looked forward as Josh"s grandfather and preacher, Ken, began the ceremony.

"Today we gather to celebrate the life of our beloved Joshua Caleb. Coincidently, today, the day we celebrate his pa.s.sing into the kingdom of the Lord, is also the day that we have celebrated his birth for the past thirty-two years. For today is Josh"s birthday." He continued on with his speech which was beautiful and eloquent. It was difficult however for me to focus on what he was saying through my own thoughts.

I found myself in Cion with Laylan and Luca.s.sius. I was swimming with Jade and the others as Laylan had the night before in my dream, as I had with Josh, which seemed like another life all together. I kept thinking of how everything happened for a reason and that everything is preordained to happen. I thought about how all of this could have been written in the stars. Was this supposed to happen? And if so, why? Why did Josh have to die?

My mind came back to the present as I felt incredible warmth spread through me and I knew where it was coming from. Adam"s energies were easy to perceive and distinguish from others. I knew that it was he who was sending warm sympathetic energies to me from his seat behind me.

Before I knew it, everyone was walking to the front to pay their respects to us for our loss. I stood next to Denise and we both were trying to be strong, to not cry. Bobby came up and extended his arms around me in a strong embrace. "If you need anything, you let me know, Abby. I mean it." He whispered in my ear and pulled back to look into my eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay," I answered with a slight smile. He moved on and Ron walked up to shake my hand.

He was a very tall, big guy with wide shoulders and a bald head. His smile was contagious as he spoke, "Josh was a good man, and he will be greatly missed."

A small smile crossed my face, "Yes, he will." I responded.

Everyone made their way through offering a kind word for Denise and me and we smiled and thanked them all for coming. Once they all had come by Denise and I walked up to the front of the ceremony hall where the urn had been displayed for the services. I reached out with shaky hands and took the beautiful light wood box that I had chosen for Josh"s urn.

Suddenly, I felt energy enter my hands from the box and surge through my body. I felt it leave me through my feet into the floor and somehow knew that it had been Josh"s energies. A tear rose to my eye but not one of sorrow but of joy. He was at rest and I had been the conductor to send his energies back to mother earth. A smile came to my face and my heart didn"t ache at the thought of Josh being gone. I closed my eyes and clutched the box tightly and said farewell.

When I opened my eyes again, Denise was looking at the box sadly. I secured the box in my left arm and reached out to touch her shoulder. I visualized warm, white, calming light leaving me through my right hand into Denise. As I did, her face and posture relaxed. She looked at me and I could see the calm in her eyes. She was at ease and she smiled at me as she whispered. "I don"t know how you did whatever you just did, but thank you. I needed that." She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek.

Denise and I turned to Leiman and we both gave him a hug. I focused again, giving him white light to calm his heart. I could feel his posture relax and his arm gripped tighter. He could feel it and he knew where it was coming from. He held me for a moment before loosening his grip and looked at me, "Thank you."

That night I stayed at home alone for the first time since that night. I sat on the couch with the box on the coffee table in front of me writing by dream that I had had the night before. After I finished I made myself some Raman noodles to eat and watched TV. I sat up watching until the network programs had gone off and all that was on was infomercials.

I turned the TV off and decided to go lay down, not knowing if I would actually sleep but I had to try. I checked the front door to make sure it was locked up and nearly jumped out of my skin as the phone rang. I gasped in shock as I stared at it. When it rang again I picked it up and answered, "h.e.l.lo?"

A sweet voice spoke from the other end. "Abby?"

I knew immediately who it was. "Adam?"

"Hey, how are you? I mean, how are you holding up?"

"I"m okay. It kind of feels funny being in this house all alone without Josh but I"m coping."

"That"s good. I haven"t had much time to talk to you since all of this happened. I know we were hoping to visit again but this wasn"t exactly what I had in mind," he said anxiously.

"Yeah, I know." I laughed; it was easy to laugh with him, even though he wasn"t here, I could feel his energy soothing my soul. "So, how have you been?"

"Good," he replied.

We talked on the phone for hours, like we were back in high school. We laughed at old stories and asked questions about each other. He learned quite a bit about me, all the way down to my favorite colors which were hot pink and black. And I had learned that his were black and lime neon green. I told him about my childhood and about Laylan. And he told me about his childhood and about his family, the Garret"s.

Finally, we said goodbye when the sun began to light up my room. We weren"t really tired so we had decided that we were going to go to breakfast. He would be over in about an hour to pick me up.

I ran to the shower and let the warm water wash over me. I didn"t know what to think about this turn of events but I felt good about it. I dressed and looked in the mirror. Throwing my wet hair up into a high ponytail, I put on my basic make-up which was just powder, eyeliner and mascara. Just as I finished, the doorbell rang and my heart skipped into my throat. Had it been an hour already?

I took one more look in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom and through the bedroom. For the first time in a week, I felt light, carefree. I had felt Josh"s energies pa.s.s through me and I knew that he had moved on. I knew deep down that he wouldn"t have wanted me to sit here and dwell on his pa.s.sing. He would"ve wanted me to go out and enjoy my own life.

I nearly skipped down the stairs, holding tight to the rail so that I wouldn"t go tumbling down the stairs head first. My heart was pounding hard in my chest from excitement. I grabbed the bottom of the rail to stop myself at the door. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before I opened it to see him.

His eyes came up to meet mine and a warm smile cut across his face. His eyes were a brilliant blue today lined with dark eyelashes under his messy black hair. It seemed to fall in dark, black waves over his forehead down to his perfect thick eyebrows. He wore a tight black t-shirt with a heavy leather jacket over it and dark gray blue jeans.

"You ready?" He asked in his soft voice.

I looked up at him and smiled a small grin, "Yeah."

"Alright then, let"s go," he said nonchalantly as he looked me over and reached out his hand. He led me out toward his car which indeed had been the black mustang that I had seen in front of Denise"s house the day I found out about Josh.

I stopped short at the memory of that day as an ache of sorrow began to engulf me. Adam still held my hand as he called my name trying to bring my attention back to reality. I was lost in a red wave that took over me then the world was gone.

#

I stand a top a cliff looking at a huge temple of Ares, the G.o.d of war. I feel strong and fearless as a tall, dark haired man approaches me. His eyes are white and his hair is long and wavy. His arms are of pure muscle and his body moves fluently as he strides toward me.

"Drusilla, welcome, I"ve been awaiting your arrival." He announces as he takes my hand and brushes his soft, warm lips against the back of it. "You are truly a warrior in beauty and grace, as well as strength and speed. You are by far the treasure of a millennium of searching." He slowly circles around me as he continues. "I have been watching you become a great warrior over the past two centuries, with your skills in combat. Now that I have seen you with my own eyes, I would like to ask of you one thing." He stops in front of me and peers into my eyes.

"Who?" I manage to ask before he silences me with one finger to my lips.

He slinks around behind me and I can feel his breath on my ear as he answers. "You know who, Drusilla."

I think to myself briefly and I can come to only one conclusion but it is too unbelievable to say. He is now looking into my eyes again and I look back. In his eyes of pure white with small black pupils and rings around the edges, I can see that I am correct.

"Say my name, Drusilla, and you will have won my heart."

"Ares, you are Ares, the G.o.d of war and chaos," I say as I motion to the temple.

His lips curl up and his perfect face breaks into a bright smile. "Yes, I am Ares, your G.o.d and I have a proposal for you."

"Yes," I ask and answer him in one word.

"You see, there is a war brewing that will bring an apocalyptic event to end all worlds. The underworld of demons and the fallen angel known as Lucifer is a world of darkness, of blood, of misery for all. The other G.o.ds of Olympus and I cannot stand by and allow this to happen without having a champion for mankind and for all G.o.ds." He pauses and takes a step back. He crosses his arms over his chest and closes his eyes. I can hear him chant something as he throws his arms down beside him and the ground opens in fiery red holes on either side of him under his hands. I watch as two daggers rise from the fiery holes, they glow red, hot from the flames and as Ares grasps them a quiet sizzle reaches my ears and they cool to a perfect silver. He opens his eyes to gaze at me. "These are for you. My offering in becoming my Champion," he extends his arms toward me in his offer.

"Your champion?" I ask.

"Yes, we need a champion and we want you. Accept these daggers and be our newest Champion of the G.o.ds and of Humanity." He glances down at the daggers then back into my face. I peer down at the daggers and see the intricate details carved into the blades. The perfect silver seems polished, beautiful and very sharp on both edges. They are exquisite and they are a gift from the G.o.d of war himself.

I reach out and he turns the daggers in his hands so I can grab the handles. A smile stretches across his face as my fingers lightly touch the silver hilts. As my fingers wrap around, gripping these beautiful gifts, they are scorching and I felt a searing pain in the palms of my hands. I fall to my knees incapacitated by pain. I clench my eyes closed and tense my jaw focusing the pain into an internal channel away from myself.

As the burning subsides I rise to my feet and look into those black rimmed white eyes with pride. I lower my eyes and face slightly in acceptance and appreciation. "You honor me with this offer. And I shall honor you and all Olympians. I shall accept your proposal and be your Champion." I say as I stand proud and strong.

"Thank you and till next we meet, my love." Ares says as he fades away before my eyes.

The world begins to spin as I gaze at the daggers with knowledge of how to dismiss them until I need them again for combat. The spinning continues to grow faster and faster until the world is but a blur. Soon I fall to feel the gra.s.sy, green ground is cold to my touch. In confusion and nausea I close my eyes as I lay myself down onto the cold surface of the earth and let the darkness take me.

#

"Abby?" I heard him calling, "Abby, please, wake up?" He began pleading as he gently shook my shoulders. I was surfacing from the ocean of darkness when I realized that I was chilled to the bone. My eyes fluttered open and I could see him. A look of concern settled across Adam"s face as he gazed down into my eyes. "Abby, are you okay?" he stressed in a scratchy voice.

"Yeah, I think so," I mumbled as I brought my hand to my forehead. I began to sit up and felt strong hands on my shoulders pulling me up. He took my hand and easily lifted me up off of the ground. I was now standing in front of him looking up into his eyes; his arms were wrapped around my waist supporting my weight. "Do you want to go back inside?" He asked softly as he turned me back toward the house.

"No," I panicked, "let"s go eat." I tried to give him an a.s.suring smile as I finished.

"Are you sure? I almost didn"t catch you," he asked.

"Yes, I"m sure. I think I just need to eat something, I haven"t eaten since last night and all I had then was Raman noodles. I"ll be fine." I told him.

"Okay, if you"re sure then let"s go get you something to eat." He announced as he turned me back to his car. I sat down in the soft leather seat and Adam shut the door for me. I watched as he hastily walked around the car to his door. He looked over at me and I could see a sparkle in his eye as he smiled at me. He started the car and it roared to life.

"So where would you like to go?" He asked as he glimpsed at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I don"t care. We can go to Maw"s, if you want. Their biscuits and gravy are awesome." Maw"s was a restaurant not far from my house that I went to when I was still attending high school. It was a quaint, little, old fashioned place with bottle candles and checkered table tops.

"That sounds great. Then to Maw"s we go. It"s up on Mulberry, right?"

"That would be it."

"So are you sure you"re okay?" He asked again.

"Yes, Adam, I"m fine." A smile crossed my face.

"Aunt Denise was right about you being stubborn," he laughed.

"When did Denise tell you that?"

"This morning before I left the house, she brought my Mom home. Mom stayed at Aunt Denise"s last night after the funeral. She saw that I was leaving and asked me where I was going."

"And you told her what, exactly?"

"I told her that I was getting you out of the house for breakfast."
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A blush reached my face at the thought. I wondered what Denise thought about Adam and me going to breakfast together the morning after Josh"s funeral. Did she think that I was moving on already? And how would she feel if I did? My mind circled at every possibility.

"Are you okay, Abby?" He asked as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the restaurant.

"Yeah," I snapped back to reality and looked at his face. "What did Denise say when you told her about breakfast?" I asked embarra.s.sed.

"She told me to make sure you had some fun and warned me that you were very stubborn and hardheaded." He laughed and looked over at me. His smile faded as he noticed the look on my face. "You"re worried, aren"t you? You think you"re moving too fast, don"t you?" He asked concerned.

"Well," I started, "yes and no. I mean in some ways the funeral was just yesterday, Josh died just five days ago. But at the same time there is something about you that makes me feel warm and calm. When I look at you or just hear your voice, a soothing feeling washes over me like everything is going to be alright. I don"t know what it is about you," I gushed out finally able to stop myself. I shrugged and fidgeted with my fingers nervously. I didn"t know why I had spilled it all out but I just did and now I felt embarra.s.sed about it. I looked over at Adam expecting him to be looking back at me with a crazy look but instead he was smiling into my face.

"You, too?" Adam said questioningly. "It"s nice to know what I feel every time I look at you is reciprocated back." He finished with a big smile.

"WH-What?" Could he really be saying what I was hearing? I looked into his eyes. "I would"ve never thought that you would feel the same for me. Wow, this is a pleasant surprise," I mumbled.

"Pleasant," he shook his head slightly, "Yes, it is." He paused for a second before continuing, "So how about breakfast?"

"Yes," I answered. "Breakfast would be good."

Adam killed the car and stepped out into the cold air. I waited for him to open my door and stepped out into the cold, too. We walked up to the diner, side by side watching out steps as we went.

We sat at a table next to the window looking out at his car. We didn"t say anything until we had ordered.

I could feel his eyes on me and his energy was coursing through me. "Is there something I said wrong?" Adam asked and I could hear the pain in his voice.

Guilt ran through me at his words. It was so strong that I looked up and could see a shadow of the same pain in his face as he waited for my response. "No!" I said almost too loudly. I glanced around to see that no one was looking at me and continued, "No, you didn"t say anything wrong. I just didn"t expect you to feel the same for me as I do for you. I mean, I"m just a little confused about how I feel about you and how at ease I am with Josh"s death. I mean, should I feel this calm about losing my husband or should I be at home crying about it still? As much as I love the idea of being here with you, which by the way I do love being here with you, but should I? Am I a horrible person for wanting to be here with you the day after my husband"s funeral?" I asked as I finally ran out of breath. I looked into Adam"s eyes wondering if I should"ve said anything. He looked back and reached across the table to take my hands in his.

"No, you are not a horrible person. Obviously, you loved Josh, we all know that but we all cope with loss differently. You have handled your loss well, so did Denise. It doesn"t mean that you"re a bad person but more a strong woman, an amazing woman." He squeezed my hands and smiled a full smile which made me smile, too.