"Yes, and now they"re back."
"Yes?"
"The doctor wants to see you."
Nathan"s eyes get bigger and he follows her small, compact body as she walks over to the cupboard. She takes out a key from her pocket and opens it and then she slowly flicks through some medical records. "What is she doing?" He suddenly feels like he"s being pulled into an evil dream and a reality he doesn"t want to be part of. He knows that he will always be able to recognize Denize"s record. The gla.s.s of water she had spilled on in a sudden, violent fit of coughing will have marked it forever, and the record she now pulls out is marked by water. He suddenly remembers Stuart"s letter.
"I want to talk to the doctor about Denize."
"About Denize? But she"s been dead for three years, dear."
She walks over to him and touches his cheek with the back of her hand.
"She"s dead."
Before he has time to step back, she turns around and walks over to the door at the end of the room.
"I"ll ask if he"ll see you now. We"re actually closed, you know. I just didn"t have time to lock the door."
"Closed?!"
He looks at the patients behind him.
"Botox."
"I"m sorry, I didn"t hear that."
"Botox. Yes, we have a weekly botox night. You would love it."
Nathan shakes his head.
"You should try it. It makes you look so much younger."
"No, thanks."
She knocks on the door and disappears inside. He feels an increasing sense of unease and gets more and more furious with the nurse. He snorts. Seeing Denize"s journal has brought back some old feelings. Feelings that had been difficult to deal with during her illness and which still seem to be able to disturb his balance. He hears voices behind the door but can"t make out any words. Then they are silent. He gets up and takes a few steps toward the door, but stops when it"s opened. Her body is dark against the golden light of the setting sun behind her, and he suddenly understands why the doctor might have tried to make a pa.s.s at her. The doctor stands close behind her. A smile spreads on Nathan"s lips. "She didn"t turn him down, that"s for sure."
"Come in, Nathan."
The doctor holds the door open to Nathan.
"Botox, Brian?"
Nathan sits down in the chair in front of the desk. Before closing the door completely, the doctor looks briefly at the people in the waiting room.
"It pays well."
The sun is autumn pale just above the horizon, and Nathan knows that before long it will be gone. Even in the fading light, the shiny surfaces cast an almost blinding light on them. It seems almost flaming in golden, yellow and orange colors. Brian notices how Nathan squints against the light.
"The design is very modern, but the bright surfaces are a bit of a challenge."
"Are you trying to be young again?"
Brian looks at him for a while and then sits down on the other side of the table.
"Brian, I also want to ask you about Denize."
"About Denize?"
The doctor looks at the files before him, and he recognizes Denize"s file.
"But there"s nothing new about Denize"s case. The cancer was advanced. Her case is closed."
He looks over at the nurse, who smiles at Nathan with an expression he recognizes from the court room. "Arrogance, my dear. Careful it won"t turn around and hit you in the face."
"Let"s not talk about Denize, Nathan. Let"s talk about you. We took some tests last time we met."
"Yes, the usual ones."
Nathan finally looks away from the nurse.
"I had some additional a.n.a.lyses done based on something you told me."
"Yes, that"s what your nurse said, but now I want to talk about Denize."
Nathan insists.
"I"m sure you do, Nathan. But I want to talk about you. You"re alive, you I can help. I can"t help Denize. She"s dead and has been for three years. Nathan, you"re alive."
Nathan thinks back on his day so far and snorts.
"Possibly."
Nathan"s voice is much more adamant now. The doctor leans back in his chair and looks carefully at him.
"What is it about Denize that"s so important? Since the dead are now apparently more important than the living."
Nathan snorts again.
"Don"t push me off course like that."
Nathan stares angrily into the doctor"s eyes and uses all his experience as a defense lawyer. "Ha, it works on him too!" Nathan can hardly contain his bitterness.
"Brian, did Denize ever mention that she had a child... or more for that matter?"
The doctor looks at him for a long time.
"No, she never mentioned that. d.a.m.n it, Nathan, she"s been dead for three years. If she had a child, don"t you think he or she would have stepped forward by now?"
"Could she have had a child?"
"Nathan, all women can."
"d.a.m.n it, Brian. Stop!"
Nathan gets up and walks over to the door, but spins around with a sudden movement. Then he walks back and sits down.
"Brian, I need to know. I"ve received a letter that claims that Denize has a 25 year old daughter."
The chair creaks as the doctor leans back.
"So much for new and modern, Brian. Brian, does Denize have a daughter?"
Nathan breathes heavily.
"You owe me an answer."
The sun is gone and dusk had started creeping in through the windows. The doctor suddenly gets up. Nathan"s eyes follow his every move, like an owl follows a mouse on the forest floor.
"Nathan!"
Nathan gets up fast and the doctor steps back, but Nathan follows him and blocks his way.
"Brian, it"s been a terrible day and I need to know this. I need to know if Denize"s daughter is really out there somewhere."
Nathan leans toward him.
"Does Denize have a daughter? Brian?"
The nurse switches on a light and they both look at her.
She looks in the file. Nathan follows every move she makes. Brian starts to move, but then stops. Without looking at either Nathan or Brian, the nurse starts reading aloud from the file. Then she stops and looks into Nathan"s eyes. Nathan sees every little detail in her face, every little facial muscle, and how she opens her eyes wide and then closes them.
"Yes."
Nathan falls down into the chair, mumbling.
"Denize has a daughter?"
"Yes."
Her voice is firm and neutral.
"You really don"t like me, do you?"
Nathan"s voice is naked, and he"s just pointing out a fact, not asking a question.
"No, Nathan, I really don"t like you."
"Because of my reputation?"
"Yes. Some of those verdicts were wrong."
Nathan makes a dismissive movement with his head.
"Sins of the past."
"They are still alive, but as ghosts, Nathan."
"Nathan."
The doctor"s voice is hazy. The nurse keeps looking at Nathan.
"The widow, who was acquitted because of you, married my brother. He"s in hospital and they don"t know if they can save him because they don"t know what"s wrong with him."
The doctor walks over to the nurse. He closes Denize"s file and hands it to her.
"Will you put this back, please?"
She nods and disappears out the door.
"Brian?"
The doctor looks at Nathan.
"Brian, how much have you been involved in Stuart"s business?"
The doctor stops but then continues to move Nathan"s file around, until its position on the table is just right.
"Brian?"
The doctor still doesn"t look up.
"Everything is starting to fall apart now that Stuart isn"t here to cover things up anymore. It"s time you tell me how involved you were in his matters. Brian, d.a.m.n it!"
Nathan gets up, puts his hands on the table and leans slowly forward.
"We"ve played golf with Stuart so many times. I know what you were up to. A bit on the rough side, and the girls were paid well to keep their mouths shut. You know what I mean. I understood all the hints on the golf course, I just wasn"t interested."
Brian stares at the door, and Nathan can feel someone moving behind him and he hears a faint click. He turns around and the nurse has turned her back to him after closing the door. Brian and Nathan exchange looks. The nurse stares at Nathan.
"Brian"s not like that. He"s a caring man."
Nathan smiles and looks away.
"You hear me, Nathan. Brian"s not like that! He"s gentle and loving."
Nathan looks back at her angelic face where the innocence is suddenly obvious, and he wonders why he has never noticed it before. He sniffs and a faint smell of flowers reaches him.