"Oh, Evy."
He takes a step closer, but then stops.
"The phone. The phone."
Her eyes are begging him.
"Who are you?"
A heavy hand on Eric"s shoulder, and he is brutally turned around to face the police officer.
"How did you get in?"
The paramedic tugs the blanket under her.
"We have to go."
Another officer has arrived and nods at the ambulance people as he steps aside.
"I"ll walk with you to the elevator. There"s a lot of people outside. I guess it"s up to us to figure out how they found out."
He looks at his colleague. The paramedics push the stretcher, trying in vain to make it move on the thick carpet. They look at each other in resignation until the older paramedic with the graying hair shrugs and looks up.
"We have to lift it."
The younger paramedic looks at Evy and then he nods and lifts.
"The phone. The phone."
Evy keeps looking at Eric as she is carried out. The officers are gone for a moment and Eric quickly looks in the direction that Evy had indicated. There are still pieces of the mirror stuck to the frame, but the rest lies shattered on the floor. He struggles for breath and suddenly it"s as if something he has seen before reaches his conscious mind. There in the reflection in one of the shards at eye level. He turns around slowly and is confirmed in his suspicion. A large piece of the mirror is lying on the bed. The tip is covered in blood and fine bloodstains run down the shiny surface. Suddenly he can"t breathe, and everything goes black. He"s standing at the end of the hall in his childhood home. Loud voices had woken him up and he can hear the sound of gla.s.s shattering. On his tiny legs, he walks toward the door at the end, step by step. He hears his mother screaming and hugs his teddy bear closer. A tall, dark figure stands in front of him. Tears are already streaming down his face, but the man doesn"t bend down to comfort him. Instead he deliberately pushes him over as he walks past him. On all four and dragging his teddy bear after him, he crawls to the door and looks cautiously inside. There on the floor is a piece of a broken mirror with blood on the tip and blood running down the shiny surface. He starts to scream when he sees his mother"s hand hanging over the side of the bed. Eric covers his mouth with his hand. "I know who did this. Oh, I know who it was." Sirens start down in the street and Eric hears the officers talking in the hall. He almost falls over, but manages to tear his eyes away from the bed and pick up the pink phone from the floor. With the phone in his hand, he slowly walks back to the living room, sensing movement in the room.
"What"s that? Fredericsson in a suit. Nice. Have you hung up the uniform?"
Eric recognizes the voice of one of the officers and hears a strong tone of anger in the voice, when it answers.
"Hmm, maybe you should try it."
Holding on tightly to the phone, Eric disappears from the bedroom. It"s as if none of the officers in the living room notice him, and he slips out into the hall.
"Stop!"
Eric starts and slowly turns around. A man in a suit gets in his way and holds up a badge.
"My name is Peter Fredericsson."
When he"s certain that Eric has read the badge, he slowly puts it back in his pocket, while still looking at Eric.
"Do you know the person who lives here?"
The rain is still dripping from his dark hair when he looks directly at Eric.
"Yes."
"From where?"
"From school."
"Can I have the name?"
"Mine?"
The officer is surprised at the question.
"Yes, yours."
Fredericsson looks around pointedly.
"Who else"s? You"re the one I"m talking to."
He looks at Eric again, and Eric feels more and more uncomfortable.
"Eric... Brown."
"Hmm. Were you the one who called for help?"
He shakes his head in silence and shame takes over like little spikes. .h.i.tting him on the inside.
"Stay here."
The voice is just as commanding as the look.
"And that"s not a suggestion."
Fredericsson looks at him for a while.
"Eric Brown."
He enters the flat and returns shortly after. He takes the same position, still staring at Eric.
"You wait here."
Then he slowly looks from Eric to the other officer.
"Make sure this place is sealed off. When does forensic get here?"
The officer looks surprised.
"You haven"t called them? Just me? What were you thinking? Call them."
"But..."
Fredericsson shakes his head violently and notices the questioning look from his colleague. Full of despair he shakes his head again.
"Just make the call. And get everyone"s name. Including his.
He nods in Eric"s direction.
"And this time get some ID."
He looks at Eric again. Then Fredericsson turns around and walks through the door. Eric tries to hold his breath. He feels that the sound of his breath is louder than any other sounds in the hall, but a gasp escapes him when a vibration in his hand is followed by an unknown ringtone. Fredericsson spins around.
"Shut it down."
The uniformed officer stares at him and Eric stops breathing. He stares at the phone, but can"t figure out how to shut it down. His finger hovers over the phone when he reads the name on the screen. "Oh! Oh!" The finger hits the display and Eric pulls back his hand.
"James S."
Fredericsson lifts his eyes from the phone.
"It can wait."
Eric looks up into Fredericsson"s eyes. A drop of rain from his hair falls onto the display. Without any warning Fredericsson breaks their eye contact and turns to face the uniformed officer. He touches him lightly on the upper arm and they walk away from the people who are still standing in the hall. Eric can hear them mumbling even though they are standing with their backs to him. He can"t understand the words but realizes that everyone in the hall is watching them. Eric looks down the hall and slowly takes a step back and then another. No one seems to notice and he slowly turns around and disappears around the corner by the elevators. When he opens the door to the staircase, he briefly recalls the glimpse he saw of his own face earlier in the cab window.
Eric tries to stand still while he"s reading the many signs, but the letters are jumping up and down before his eyes. It"s after ten and these last hours in the bar close to the hospital has filled his veins with alcohol. He looks around but the streets are empty. "I need some air." The parking lot seems strangely empty in spite of the parked cars. There is hardly any light. "I need to sleep." Deep down he really wants to open the little bag of white powder in his pocket. He had felt so brave when he ran out of his apartment to help Evy. He puts his hand on the pocket with the pink phone. But seeing James had drained him of all energy. He is tired and sits down on a bench by the entrance. He shivers in the chill autumn air. While he carefully opens the bag with the white powder, he"s imagining ways of physically punishing James. But his thoughts end in a chill that seems to go on and on. He handles the bag and its contents like an expert, and when the effect kicks in he is back in his usual role. Suddenly he sees his face in the cab window again. Not a brave knight trying to rescue Evy, but the scared boy who, after his mother"s murder, got a stepmom, who tried to help him through in the beginning, but who had gradually given up and instead ended up supporting his destructive pattern by keeping him away from his father. "Even today, I"m still afraid of my father." He breathes in deeply, gives in, and lies down on the wet bench in a fetal position. Sleep is far away and his thoughts continue to disturb him.
"Hmm."
The voice is thoughtful but unknown to Eric. He feels someone grabbing his shoulder. He struggles, but finally gives up and opens his eyes. He stares up at a security guard whose eyes are examining him.
"Do you need help?"
Eric shakes his head.
"You can"t sleep here on the bench."
Eric shakes his head again and quickly takes a pill for his breath.
"I"m visiting someone here at the hospital, but it looked closed, so I sat down."
"It"s not closed. But you"re right, it sometimes looks abandoned. Come on."
The security guard walks over to the entrance of the hospital.
"Come on. More rain is coming later."
Eric hesitates but follows him after getting up with some difficulty. The heat when the door closes behind them hits him like a blanket and he stops. The security guard nods in the direction of a nurse who"s coming down the hall. Shortly after, Eric steps out of the elevator with the nurse who shows him to Evy"s room.
"Thank you."
The nurse smiles at him. Just then, a lock of her red hair falls into her eyes. She loosens her ponytail before smoothing back the stray lock and puts the elastic band back in place. Then she nods and disappears down the hall. He looks into the room. The light is dim and he stays in the door.
"You made it here first."
Eric almost jumps when Fredericsson is suddenly standing behind him. He leans a little closer to Eric.
"Hmm. I guess you made a stop on the way. I think you better have this."
The detective hands him a creased up business card that he pulls out from his suit. Eric looks down at the card.
"Peter Fredericsson. I remember your name from before."
"Now you have my number when you want to call me later."
The detective walks past him.
"And you will want to call me before long."
Eric stares at Fredericsson"s back which is turned to him while he talks to a nurse. He squeezes the pink phone in his pocket. Suddenly, Fredericsson is standing face to face with him again.
"We can only see her for a short while, so you better come with me. Something tells me that you have a part in this matter. So come along."
Eric looks over at the nurse, who nods and shows him into the room. For a moment, Eric wonders if her haircut can be called a crew-cut. He examines her face, but stops when he reaches her eyes. Her hair is dark, but a pair of clear blue eyes meet his with a firm look. He enters the room where he is met by Fredericsson who laughs a little.
"Not a lot of kindness there."
He blinks at Eric and walks over to Evy"s bed. He looks at her for a little while and she looks back. Her face looks very tired.
"Can she talk?"
Fredericsson looks at the nurse who has followed them into the room.
"Yes, but remember, only for a little while."
The detective turns back to Evy.
"It looks like we don"t have much time, so I will start with the most important question. Who did this to you?"
Evy"s tired eyes look over at Eric whose face is full of fear. A fear that is getting harder and harder for him to control. Every moment he expects James to walk into the room, point his finger at him and say: "He did it."
Another shiver runs through Eric"s body at the thought that Fredericsson will believe James and not himself or Evy. The look in Eric"s wide open eyes makes Evy feel despondent, and, almost forcefully, she moves her eyes over to Fredericsson. Deep lines on his face tell of too many too short nights, too much coffee and too many worries.
"This is detective Peter Fredericsson."
The nurse"s voice fills the room.
"Right, yes, I forgot to introduce myself. Right."
He pulls out another creased business card from his pocket and gives it to Evy.