He notices how her upper body relaxes and how she slowly tips her head to one side.
"Yes, but we had a lot in common. Otherwise we wouldn"t have kept on seeing each other for so many years."
"Four or five years, wasn"t it?"
She leans back in the chair, looking relaxed in the uncomfortable chair.
"Yes, I think he mentioned something when he turned sixty."
Evy"s body is suddenly tense, "and now your memory has suddenly returned." She looks at Nathan"s hands and then at his face.
"That sounds about right."
It"s as if the grey color in his face has gone and he"s glowing. She begins to suspect that he still spends time on the golf course.
"How old are you now? 24?"
She blinks a few times before bending down to pick up her bag. Her head is tilted to one side again.
"Close. 25."
He can feel himself squint a little and stops the movement. "Don"t give anything away. Don"t give anything away. That has always served me well."
"What do you do for a living, Evy? I can"t remember if Stuart told me. It"s been a while after all."
He makes a gesture of apology.
"I"m getting older, you know."
His voice sounds cheerful, but Evy has a strong feeling that he wants a particular reaction from her, and her temper rises. She forces herself to smile and runs her hand through her hair, pushing it to one side, so her neck is exposed. Nathan swallows and his eyes trace the red patent leather from her waist to her shoulder to her neck. He swiftly runs his hand over his lips.
"I run a small business."
Her voice is calm, and she"s back in control. She knows that Nathan will follow her every move, and she feels a vague discomfort mixed with a feeling of power. She"s suddenly disappointed in him. The brilliant lawyer reacts just as every other man she has tried this on. She had believed, even hoped, to someday meet someone who was different. She moves her head a little - exposing her neck even more. Nathan"s reaction doesn"t fail. He gets up abruptly and stands with his back to her. She bites her lip - disappointment showing in her face. A low sound is heard.
"Nathan, shall I bring in some coffee before I leave?"
He looks annoyed, breathes out and lets his head fall toward his chest a little. He wets his lips, feeling how her mental hold on him gradually weakens.
"Yes please, Petra. Just put it on the table here."
He nods at the desk between them. Without any eye contact, they both watch as Petra puts down the coffee tray.
"Coffee?"
Petra kindly asks Evy, who shakes her head, looking confused. Petra then focuses her attention on Nathan. She can hear how annoyed he is.
"I won"t be having any coffee for a while."
He raises an eyebrow as he answers her.
"Thank you, Petra."
He nods politely, well aware that he won"t. The stomach ache he has had since lunch still bothers him. His voice is no more than a whisper and he sounds aggravated.
"Petra, will you bring me some painkillers before you go?"
Petra looks at him and lowers her voice.
"Of course. The usual ones?"
He nods, looking pensively at Evy. The sound of the door brushing the carpet, a faint clicking sound. He smiles - these are sounds he a.s.sociates with the level of quality he has worked so hard to obtain when renovating his office.
"Nathan."
Evy speaks slowly, almost tasting the word. She rounds her lips and presses them against each other as if she has just put on lipstick.
"Nice name. Very nice."
He looks at her, "No, I"m not falling for that twice." He smiles politely.
"Evy, I asked you to come because Stuart left you some money. I don"t know what you meant to him even though we have been friends for almost twenty years. In any case, he has left you some money - enough money, in fact, to give you a comfortable life if you are careful. As I mentioned earlier, he has asked me to make sure you get the money fast before his family starts asking questions - preferably without them knowing anything about it, actually. This is hard for me because I"ve known them for so long, and it"s a personal loss for me as well. I"m surprised that you..."
Nathan stops and looks at the fire. Then he draws himself up a little and looks directly at her.
"If you give me your account number, I"ll make sure you have the money tomorrow."
"Now?"
She sounds surprised.
"That would be nice. Then we"ll start the payments tomorrow morning when Petra is here. I"m not quite sure why he wanted to make a fund with the sole purpose of paying installments to you. It"s a strange purpose, since you"ll never be able to get the money except in portions. Allow me."
He opens a drawer and takes out a small, yellow notepad. He runs his fingers over the paper and walks over to her side of the desk. He hands her the notepad and pulls out a fountain pen from his inside pocket. He carefully unscrews the top before handing it to her. She looks at him while she slowly opens her bag. Finally she breaks eye contact, looks into the bag and takes out her credit card. He leans back against the desk and follows her movements as she writes. She looks at the account number for a long time before looking back up at him - this time her eyes seem to reveal everything.
"Are there any similar arrangements? If I can call them that."
Nathan has only been this surprised once before in his life, when he found out during the trial that his client had in fact killed not only his father, but also his mother, who had died the year before. Nathan remembers a strong feeling of hate - like someone had hit him in the stomach - and he had difficulty breathing for the rest of the cross examining. He rubs his nose. Hate changes to a feeling of surprise that is just as strong as the hate had been.
"You"re the only one mentioned in the will. It says that you are his regular physiotherapist."
He pulls out an envelope from the brown cardboard case file on the desk.
"He left you this letter."
He hands it to her. Slowly she puts the yellow notepad and the fountain pen on the desk and reaches out to take the envelope. Her feeling of discomfort increases as she looks at it. The envelope is the usual quality: thick, inflexible textured paper.
"May I?"
She looks at the shiny and heavy silver paper knife on the table before him. Nathan nods.
"Yes, of course."
He gives it to her with the handle first. She stands up a little, and her bag falls to the floor when she grabs the handle. He feels a sudden pain in the palm of his hand.
"I"m sorry."
He hardly hears her voice but nods, accepting the apology. There"s a little blood in the palm of his hand, so he pulls out his handkerchief. He wonders why Evy isn"t looking at his hand, but only stares at the envelope.
"I...".
He stops when he realizes that he has no idea what she"s thinking. He folds up his handkerchief and puts it back in his pocket. Her eyes scan the surface of the envelope over and over again as if every little details matters. Nathan recognizes the quality of the paper. He used to get letters like this - letters that Petra wasn"t allowed to open. Evy touches the surface of the paper. She clearly remembers the first time he gave her money. Back then, she had taken out the letter many times and held it up to the light to enjoy the watermark. The words had been the same every time.
No one is like you when the night is long, your body, the way you.....
After a very long time, Stuart pulls away from her and looks at her face.
"How much longer?"
Stuart"s voice is demanding, and he doesn"t let go of Evy"s chin until the driver nods and speeds up.
"Let"s start with some champagne."
Stuart smiles at her as he bends down to get the champagne from the hidden fridge. Evy tries to move over, but Stuart"s hand is resting on her thigh. He takes two gla.s.ses with the same hand that"s holding the champagne bottle and leans back in the seat. Evy feels the sweat from his hand on her thigh before he removes it and puts it behind her neck. He forces her closer to him and kisses her again. Suddenly he pulls away and falls back in the seat.
"Time for champagne."
His voice is cheerful now, and he quickly loosens the yellow wrapping around the bottle neck. Then the sound of the cork popping fills the car. When the cork hits the roof of the car, the driver looks back in the rear-view mirror, but Stuart pays no attention to him. The champagne runs down over Evy"s thighs and down in the leather seat under her. The champagne penetrates her dress, but before she can move, she feels Stuart"s mouth against her thigh - his whisper filling her head.
"No need for a gla.s.s."
"We"re here."
The limo slows down and pulls over to the curb in a brightly lit street. Stuart hesitates, and then he sits back in the seat and stares at the driver.
"Sometimes it"s just faster. The traffic wasn"t so bad..."
The driver turns around halfway and lowers his voice.
"Do you want me to drive around the block?"
Nathan sees how the hand that holds the letter is shaking. He looks at her silently, while his mind goes over the last few years of his life and the role Stuart has played in them. Some events seem strange but not significant in any way. Evy sighs a little, but Nathan doesn"t notice. She lets the knife slide through the paper and feels the familiar resistance from the thick paper. She slowly unfolds the letter and reads.
No one is like you when the night is long, your body, the way you.....
She starts as if someone has slapped her, and she feels the tears burning behind her eyes.
"Even now, even now."
Her lips form the words without a sound. She doesn"t read the words but scans the letter for figures. Suddenly she feels like she"s choking, as if her years with Stuart have become an insult. Black spots are blurring her vision. "The same amount he has given me every month."
"You better put it in your bag."
Startled, Evy looks up at Nathan. She nods slowly, and Nathan feels uneasy as he thinks of Stuart again. He looks down at his shoes and wonders if he ever really knew Stuart.
"I hope you"ll protect me if the family..."
Her voice fades. He looks at her and nods slowly. This time he can see features that seem so familiar - features he had loved from the first time he saw them.
He remembers the first time so clearly. Denize had b.u.mped into him and fallen over. He remembers the way she looked up at him, and he could hardly wait to marry her. They were married three months later in spite of warnings from friends and family. They had never asked any questions about each other"s past. Nathan was grateful for that - his wild years has lasted a long time. They had met late and they both agreed that the time for having children had pa.s.sed. Still, Nathan had felt an unspoken longing in both of them, but they never talked about it. Some days this longing made them keep a strange ritual alive. It had started almost by accident. They had been making lunch and decided to put olives in it. They had started laughing when they realized that the wine they had put in the fridge didn"t go well with olives. They needed rose, so they had left the house to buy some. When they came out of the store, two girls around four years old had walked past them holding hands. They wore identical dresses in a light fabric which swayed as they walked. It looked like the girls had just found that out, so they made the dresses twirl around them as they walked - their ponytails moving from side to side. One of the girls had dark brown, curly hair and the other was blonde, her hair almost golden. Nathan looks at Evy"s hair. Both he and Denize had stopped to look at the girls until they disappeared around a corner. They both recognized the pain in the other"s eyes, but Nathan had reminded himself of their decision and slowly shaken his head. Denize had looked at him for a long time and then nodded. Only years later did Nathan realize, that this misunderstanding was where his last hope of having children died.
Nathan is looking at Evy"s hair when the door suddenly opens and Petra enters carrying a big pile of papers.
"Nathan."
"I thought you"d left."
"No, I have a message. I"ve just received a phone call from the courthouse."
"I better leave if we"re finished?"
Evy looks at Nathan. He shakes his head.
"We"re finished."
Evy nods her head and holds out her hand. Nathan looks down at it. Well-cared-for red nails and fine, smooth skin with the same porcelain look as her face. Her hand is warm when he shakes it and slips away smoothly when he lets it go. The movement makes the cut in his hand sting, and the blood starts trickling again.
"I"m sorry if you got any blood on you."
Evy looks at his palm and then her own. She shakes her head.
"It"s nothing."
She nods.
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye."
Petra approaches quickly and Evy turns and walks toward the door. She nods briefly at Petra, before disappearing out the big oak doors.
"The courthouse called, they want..."
Petra stops talking when she can see that Nathan is looking at the doors, but there"s n.o.body there.
"Nathan, they want to start at nine tomorrow morning instead of at three."
She walks past him and drops the heavy stack of papers on the desk in front of him.