"It"s sort of funny having temporary fences around such a historic London monument," I tell Baz. "It doesn"t seem right in a way. Everyone should be able to visit."
"Money talks," says Baz. "The film company have paid millions for this place. And it"s our playground today."
"Lucky us. I thought there"d be crowds all around the gates. Fans screaming your name. And Leo"s."
"Not yet," says Baz. "They"ve managed to keep the filming secret so far. But news travels fast in London. We"ll be mobbed soon."
"So ... where do I go exactly? Nadia said to get here early for makeup. But where"s that?"
"Come on." Baz grabs my arm and leads me across the tarmac. "There"s a marquee up there. That"s usually where the action is."
I stumble along beside him, trying to keep up. "So you"ve known Marc a long time?"
"Christ yes. He"s like a little brother to me."
"I wish you could have come to the wedding. It was silly, Marc not inviting you."
"It"s all right. I"m not offended. I know Marc. Having me around ... he just didn"t want to be reminded of certain things, that"s all."
"What certain things?"
"Listen Soph. You seem like a nice girl. Marc got up to some things he"s not all that proud of."
"I know," I say. "He told me."
"Everything? Somehow I doubt that princess. Come on. Let"s get a cup of tea."
28.
The marquee is more like a luxurious room than a tent. It has a red carpet, and the wooden chairs scattered around have bra.s.s studs and thick leather cushioning. There are big spotlights, makeup cases on legs and a long wooden table holding a tea urn, giant cafetiere and cardboard cups.
I also see a makeshift changing room of curtains and wooden rods.
Ruby sits in a plastic chair straightening her hair with gas tongs. Clouds of steam billow up as she pulls her curls straight.
"Hey!" She waves. "Good to see you guys. I was getting lonely. Word of advice don"t eat the Chelsea buns. They"re rock hard."
"I"d better not touch them then," says Baz, putting a finger to his mouth. "This tooth is still lose after the last stunt I did. How about you, princess? You had breakfast yet?"
"Some muesli," I say.
"Muesli! What are you, a rabbit? Get some sugar in you girl. Have a stale Chelsea bun." He takes another swig of Monster Energy.
"A cup of tea will be fine."
"Come on then." Baz claps his hands together. "Let"s all have a cup of tea."
"Don"t let Baz make the tea," Ruby calls out. "He"ll put twenty sugars in it. Or a shot of brandy."
Baz snorts. "Have you been looking in my recipe books?"
After Baz has made everyone tea, including the makeup girls, he hands around the cardboard cups. When he pa.s.ses me mine he says, "There you go, princess."
"Baz! Will you stop calling me princess."
"Sorry, but you"re stuck with that name now. It"s your own fault. You should never have complained about it. Now I have to call you princess because I know it p.i.s.ses you off."
"My little brother is more grown-up than you," I mutter. "And he can barely walk."
"You"ve got a baby brother?" Baz"s eyes soften. "Have you got any pictures?"
"I do as it happens."
I take out my phone and show him pictures of Sammy.
"He"s a funny little lad, isn"t he?" says Baz, a soppy smile on his face. "Reminds me of my boys when they were young."
"You have sons?"
"Three. With three different women. Don"t you read the newspapers?"
"Not often."
"Smart girl."
"Are you with any of the mothers now?" I ask.
"Nope. Wish I was. I messed up the last one, as per usual. All my own fault. So I"m free and single and ready to cause mayhem. Anyway, enough about me. How"s Marc doing these days?"
"Good I think. He speaks highly of you."
"I speak highly of him too. I"ve got nothing but respect for him. He may dress like a ponce, but he"s the toughest bloke I"ve ever met."
"I heard you took Marc bare-knuckle boxing when he was just a kid."
"He was an angry young man. He needed to channel it. He would have ended up in prison otherwise, trust me. I nearly did plenty of times. Fighting saved me too."
"What was Marc like? When he first started?"
Baz raises an eyebrow. "Lethal. His first fight he got pummelled. We all do. But after that ... I"ve never seen anyone so fast. I made a few quid on him, I can tell you. No one expected the pampered little boy actor to hit so hard. He tore down anyone in front of him. After that first fight, I never saw him lose."
"I"m glad he doesn"t fight any more."
"I doubt the fight has left him. It never does. If you"ve had time in the ring you want to get back in there. It"s like an addiction."
"He hasn"t boxed in the time I"ve known him," I say. "And I"m glad."
"Women! You lot just don"t understand. Fighting is fun."
"Even when you get hit?"
"Especially when you get hit. Then you want to pound the guy even harder."
"We don"t want to understand," Ruby shouts from her makeup chair. "What goes on in men"s heads is best left there."
"Are you girls picking on poor Baz?" Leo strolls into the marquee holding a greeny-brown smoothie in a domed cup.
"f.u.c.king h.e.l.l mate," says Baz. "What are you drinking? It looks like gone-off curry."
"This is my nutritious breakfast," says Leo. "Tofu, wheatgra.s.s and a few other natural pick-me-ups."
Baz shakes his head. "Give me egg, bacon and sausage any day of the week."
While my hair and makeup is being done, I send Marc a text.
On set. In hair and makeup. Missing you already. Are you going to tell me more about this surprise you have planned? Your loving wife xx Always so impatient, my loving wife. It wouldn"t be a surprise if I told you more. Don"t tire yourself out. I"m missing you too. Your loving husband.
How much do you miss me? xx Unbearably. Does that help? I hate you being away from me.
What would you do if I was there? xx I"d force you to rest. Maybe by tying you to a chair.
Fully clothed? xx ;) Mrs Blackwell, you certainly know how to torture your husband.
Are you avoiding the question loving husband? I thought married men weren"t supposed to keep things from their wives. xx And wives aren"t supposed to tease their husbands.
Or else what? Xx There"ll be consequences.
Like? Xx Haven"t we talked about Pandora"s box before?
I grin to myself at that last message, imagining Marc both frowning and smiling at his phone. But I just can"t resist teasing him a little more ...
Mr Blackwell, I don"t mean to be so curious. It"s a bad habit of mine. Perhaps you could teach me better behaviour. xx Very well. When you come home, I will sit you naked on a hard wooden chair. I will tie your to the chair legs and bind your wrists behind you. Then I will cane your legs until you beg me to stop. Then I will f.u.c.k you. Do you think you"ll learn your lesson then?
29.
"Okay, so how do you like your hair?" asks the hair stylist, twirling my chair around in front of the mirror.
"Oh!" I turn my phone over on my lap so she can"t see Marc"s last message. Then I look up at the mirror. My eyes widen. "Wow. It looks really amazing. Thanks." I cross and uncross my legs, hoping my blushing neck isn"t too obvious.
The stylist has added about twenty hair pieces so my hair goes all the way to my feet in one long plait. She"s plaited my real hair in too, but left it kind of loose and natural although she"s added some shiny stuff to stop it frizzing up. And she"s woven silver threads through the whole style to give me a princessy look.
"Makeup next," says the hair stylist. "I"ll send Casey over."
I glance down at my phone and text: Can"t message any more. Having makeup done. Can"t wait to get home. xx I did warn you about Pandora"s box ...
Just as our hair, makeup and costumes are in order, Nadia arrives.
She checks her watch and frowns.
"No Sigourney yet?"
"Haven"t seen her," says Ruby.
"For f.u.c.k"s sake. I told her. On time today. We"re shooting on location." She points at a man with a clipboard and earpiece. "Daryl. Call her, okay? She has five minutes to get here. If she doesn"t, she"s off the movie. I"ll get a replacement. I don"t care."
Leo and Ruby exchange glances.
"Okay!" Nadia claps her hands. "Everybody ready? My word, you all look so beautiful. I am so lucky to work with such good-looking people! My sister is a stockbroker and she works with all these ugly people in suits all day. I don"t know HOW she does it."
The first shoot takes place right outside the Tower of London. Ravens peck the lawn nearby and flags fly around us.
As the camera people are setting up, a tall, ill-looking girl stalks across the lawn.
I guess, judging by her height and skinniness, that she"s Sigourney. But she doesn"t look much like her photos.
"You started without me?" she calls. "Thanks a lot."
"Sophia," Leo whispers. "Meet Sigourney. My ever-so-easygoing ex."
I let out a sn.i.g.g.e.r, and Sigourney glares at me.
She"s beautiful in a way. But a little pointy looking, with sharp cheekbones and a long, angular nose. Her brown hair is pulled back tight in a bun and she wears big black sungla.s.ses. There are a few spots on her white cheeks and her skin looks tired. Like she could use some healthy food and a good night"s sleep.
Sigourney doesn"t greet any of us, but she sidles up to Nadia and whispers in her ear.
Nadia nods, not looking at Sigourney, then calls the camera people over. They all huddle in a corner, talking in hushed voices.
"What"s this all about?" says Ruby, fluffing out her fairy skirt.
"Sigourney making drama," says Leo. "Just like always."
"She should be f.u.c.king apologising to us for being late, "scuse my language," says Baz. He"s wearing chain mail, a metal helmet and a huge sword.