"Then where are we going?"
"Somewhere else."
The wind whips my hair around my face.
"Marc, I don"t like this," I say firmly. "I want to know where we"re going. I want to know how soon I can look at that test."
"Soon," says Marc, speeding the car around corners.
"Look, this isn"t a game. This is a big deal. Is this funny to you? Making me wait for what could be the most important news of my life?"
"Our life. And no. It"s not funny."
"I"m well aware of that."
Marc roars the car down a long tunnel. An electric garage door rolls up, and suddenly I realise where we are.
"We"re under Ivy College, aren"t we?" I say, as Marc drives the car into a dark car park.
"Exactly right."
"So what are we doing here?"
"I"ll show you."
A few moments later, we come up through the theatre and out onto the beautiful Ivy College lawns.
"Marc. Will you tell me what"s going on?"
"Soon."
Marc leads me over the lawns and towards the woods. When we reach the woodland path, I pull him to a stop.
"What"s going on?" I say.
"Just a little further."
He leads me down the path and to a clearing.
"Here," says Marc. "Right here."
I let out a long breath. "This is ... where we were married."
"Well remembered."
"So what are we doing here?"
"I thought it would be a good place to look at the test." Marc pulls the white box out of his pocket. "Because it"s a special place for us. And if you"re having our baby, I thought you"d like to find out in a special place."
"And if I"m not?"
"Then you won"t be as sad here. Because you love trees. And trees make you happy."
I feel myself smile. "Sometimes you know me better than I know myself."
"I agree."
Marc hands me the test and I open it, searching the little white stick for something that says, "pregnant".
"How does this thing work?" I ask.
Marc pulls instructions from the box, scanning them quickly. "There should be a window on the stick," he says. "A pink line means pregnant."
My hands start to shake. I pa.s.s the stick over to Marc. "I can"t," I say. "I can"t look. I"m too nervous."
Marc takes the test.
"What is it?" I say. "Oh G.o.d, is the test broken? Did it not work?"
"It worked," says Marc. "Mrs Blackwell, we are having a baby."
43.
I let out a little squeal and jump about a foot into the air. Then I burst into stupid, happy tears. "Oh my G.o.d! Are you sure? Are you really sure?"
"See for yourself." Marc pa.s.ses me the test.
"This is it? This pink line? That"s all there is to tell us?"
"The test is very clear. No pink line. Not pregnant. Pink line. Pregnant."
I start to laugh, swiping at tears. "I"m pregnant. I really am pregnant. We"re going to have a baby."
Marc"s smile is more measured than mine. But the joy in his eyes is the same.
"I can"t believe it." I know I"m grinning like an idiot, but I don"t care. "We"re having a baby."
Marc"s eyes are so clear right now. As light as I"ve ever seen them.
"You, Sophia Blackwell, are going to be the best mother there ever was." Marc lifts me off my feet and into his arms, kissing me with a force and pa.s.sion that takes my breath away.
Our kissing becomes more pa.s.sionate, my tears spilling down Marc"s clean-shaven jaw.
He carries me to a silver birch tree and pushes me up against it.
I wrap my legs around him, and Marc"s hands slide under my backside.
He lowers me to the leafy forest floor, still kissing me forcefully enough to leave me gasping for breath.
I struggle out of my shoes, jeans and panties, then grab at Marc"s trousers, my fingers pulling at the zip and freeing him from his underwear.
"Sophia." Marc places a steadying hand on my hip. "Maybe this isn"t the time. You"ve just had some emotional news-"
"Does that mean I can"t want you? Because I"m feeling emotional?"
Marc gives a tiny smile. "You know, for once I"m not going to argue."
He slides himself inside me in one great, pleasurable rush.
I grab his b.u.t.tocks with my fingers and pull him further in, moving my hips to meet him. Then I wrap my legs tight around his backside.
We move together against the damp, leafy forest floor. I smell fresh soil and leaves and Marc"s beautiful, crisp clean smell, see green leaves and tree branches and Marc"s eyes everything melding together under the bluest of skies.
We come together quickly, both gasping and kissing each other, our bodies meshed together under the trees.
"I"ll have to remember the effect good news has on you," says Marc.
"I just wanted to be close to you. Is that such a bad thing?"
"Not a bad thing at all."
"What if the test had been negative? How would you have felt?"
"It was never going to be negative."
"Says who?"
"Says me. It"s not only women who have instincts."
"So you"re saying you thought this whole time I was pregnant?"
"I knew this whole time."
"How?"
"My urge to protect you has known new levels. I"ve never been this bad before. If anyone touched you I would have ripped their head off-"
"Hey. No ripping off heads. This is a happy time."
"Yes it is. You"re going to be an amazing mother."
"And you"re going to be the best father."
Marc turns away from me.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
Marc does up his trousers. He pa.s.ses me my jeans and panties.
"You"re not fine," I say, pulling my clothes on and clambering to my feet. "Whatever it is ... don"t hide things from me now. Of all times. When we have this amazing news."
"It is amazing news," says Marc. "Which is why I don"t want to spoil it."
"What could spoil it?"
"Me. I could spoil it."
44.
"How could you spoil it?" I ask. "Marc. Talk to me."
"It may have escaped your attention Sophia, but I"m not like most men."
"No you"re not. And I couldn"t be happier about that."
I try to take his hand, but he pulls away.
"I haven"t had what you call a stable upbringing."
"Nor have I."
Marc gives a humourless laugh. "It"s a d.a.m.ned sight more stable than the one I had. You had two parents who loved you. Role models."
My heart feels soft. "Marc. Are you saying you"re scared about becoming a father?"
"In a manner of speaking. I"m delighted you"re pregnant. But I have a lot of work to do." Marc"s eyes are wide and vulnerable. And so, so blue. "I can tell you this though. I"ll work harder than any man has ever worked."
"I know. I"m not worried. Marc you"ll be amazing."
"I"m not so sure. My father was a monster. I could be naturally like him. It could be genetic. I may have a lot of obstacles to overcome."