Divorce: This is a Trivial Matter

In this life, Professor Qi had never wooed a girl. Knowing this, Yang Wei offered him a few words of advice out of the kindness of her heart. "To court a girl properly, you must at the very least write a love poem or two and send some flowers. You have to take her by the hand and bring her out to dinner, go shopping together, and watch movies. Praise her for her beauty every day. Take the initiative to be caring and attentive to her. I haven"t thought of more yet, but I"ll tell you when I do."

Qi Xiao Yan"s mouth moved a little and there was a solemn look on his face. "I"ll do my best."

Yang Wei felt inexplicably better just looking at his expression. She ordered two caramel puddings and pushed one in front of him. "Want it?"

"Mnn." He picked up a spoon, then glanced at her from under his eyelashes. "Also, my first love wasn"t Song Jin." "

Yang Wei looked back, spoon in her mouth, and raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Then who was your first love?"

"You."

He said his with his head bowed, eating pudding. She couldn"t make out his expression. She snorted. "You"re not her fan?"

"I never said I was."

"But you were clearly browsing her website."

Qi Xiao Yan hesitated, then said flatly, "I was actually searching for Mo Zhen out of curiousity. When I saw you come in, I clicked on a random link."

"Don"t you normally minimize the browser in that situation?"

"And explained to you why I was looking intently at the desktop?"

Yang Wei: " ...... "

She took a bite of pudding and looked at him in amus.e.m.e.nt. "So you"re interested in Emperor Mo too? Was it his beauty that convinced you?"

Qi Xiao Yan sent a glare her way. "You"d better tear down that poster in the bedroom."

Yang Wei wrapped her mouth around her pudding, ducked her head and laughed out loud.

As they made their way from the dessert shop, she suddenly remembered something. To Qi Xiao Yan next to her, she asked, "Did you pick me up from the barbecue shop last night?"

"Mmhmm."

"Did you pay?"

A pause. "I didn"t think about it."

Yang Wei: "..."

Would Sheng Lei sue her for fraud?

She felt for her phone in some worry and indeed there was an unread text message there from Lawyer Sheng. It read, "Last night"s barbecue was a total of 237.50 yuan. If I don"t receive the money by noon tomorrow, you will receive a court summons ^ _ ^"

Yang Wei:" ...... "

She glanced over in Qi Xiao Yan"s direction. "I"ll be having lunch with Sheng Lei at noon, so I"ll head out first."

"Would you like a ride?"

"No, your car is still at the apartment. I"ll take a taxi." Saying so, she ran to the intersection to flag down a taxi, not forgetting along the way to tell Sheng Lei that they would meet at noon in Starlight Plaza.

The two went to a Haidilao Hot Pot. Sheng Lei ordered, then gazed at Yang Wei, gossip br.i.m.m.i.n.g in her eyes. "Well? Dish! What happened after Professor Qi took you away last night?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?!" Sheng Lei stared at her incredulously. Yang Wei shrank into herself uneasily under her scrutiny. Sheng Lei examined her awhile then suddenly exclaimed out loud, "Yang Wei! Is that a hickey on your neck?!"

Yang Wei was rather embarra.s.sed. She had deliberately picked a collared shirt that day. Who knew Sheng Lei"s eyes could be so sharp?

"Are you two sleeping together?!"

Feeling the urge to escape, Yang Wei hissed, "Can you keep it down?!"

"Oh, so you"re brave enough to do it, but are afraid of other people knowing?" Sheng Lei curled her lower lip. "How immoral."

Yang Wei picked up a spoon and pointed it in her direction. "I forbid you from spreading this story around."

Sheng Lei looked at the spoon disdainfully. "And what if I do?"

"Then you"ll lose my friendship forever, along with the 237.50 I owe you."

Sheng Lei: "..."

She sighed. "Well, what are you going to do now? Remarry?"

"Ugh... That"s what he suggested, too."

"And you?"

"I promised him he could chase me again."

Sheng Lei blinked, then leaned over in her direction. "Well, then, this time we must properly abuse the good Professor Qi. He"ll return every inch he owes you, with interest."

Qi Xiao Yan, who was driving back to school, felt a strange cool breeze brush him by.

On Monday morning, as Yang Wei rushed out of her apartment building with a piece of bread, she saw a familiar Audi parked nearby. The driver"s side window slowly wound down, revealing Qi Xiao Yan"s face. "Get on. I"ll take you to school."

Yang Wei stared at him for a while, then went around to the other side and climbed aboard. The Audi slid back onto the road. Her pillow in her arms, Yang Wei tilted her head and asked, "What brings Professor Qi here today to give me a lift to work?"

"Wasn"t it you who said I should take the initiative to show care and attention?"

Yang Wei lowered her head with a smile. "I also mentioned wanting to receive love poems. Please hand them in before morning self-study is over."

Qi Xiao Yan: "..."

He glanced at the bread in her hand and frowned. "Is that what you have every morning?"

"Well, I don"t really like it, but there"s nothing else at home." Hamster-like, she gnawed at the white bread in her hand.

"I will pick you up after work this afternoon. We"ll go to the supermarket together."

Yang Wei blinked, but continued eating.

They arrived at school early. As she was opening the door, Qi Xiao Yan stopped her and reminded, "Don"t forget, I"ll pick you up after work."

"Got it." Yang Wei hopped out and waved. The fat security guard stroked his chin as she walked away, examining the black Audi. Why, that seemed to be the car that used to send Teacher Yang to work. Could it be that the handsome Maserati guy was now out of the game?

He debated internally whether or not he should share this with his friend circle.

Walking into the office, Yang Wei spotted Teacher Yao sitting there, mysteriously studying something. She leaned over her shoulder curiously. "The ? ? Teacher Yao, are you reporting for military training?"

Teacher Yao pushed up the black-rimmed gla.s.ses on her nose and turned. "I"m going on a blind date today after work."

Yang Wei"s eyes widened. "Ah, is the other side a soldier? You"re researching how to cater to their taste?"

Shaking her head, Teacher Yao gazed at Yang Wei, her mocking eyes laughing at such ignorance. "My dear Teacher Yang, blind dating is a war. Only by being familiar with the art of war can one do what needs to be done."

Yang Wei sat down at her own seat and slid the chair over. "Sounds deep."

"Of course." Teacher Yao clasped one hand over the book, her expression authoritative. "For example, if the other asked what your hobbies were, how would you answer?"

"With the truth?"

A shake of the head. "If I said I stayed at home and watched American TV shows everyday, would he be interested in me? One should choose the answer according to the other"s profession! If the other is a fitness instructor, you should say you enjoy outdoor sports, like mountain climbing."

"Then he"ll ask you out for mountain climbing all the time. Wouldn"t you die?"

"That"s the real game!" Teacher Yao held onto her shoulders, eyelashes trembling with excitement. "Your answer must be of interest to the other party, yet still not bring too much difficulty to oneself. It requires great wit, and wisdom like a flash of lightning."

Yang Wei: "..."

"The same is true for being in love. Love has a shelf life. The other soon gets tired of you. You must keep their interest." She picked up the English book on the table and stood up. Then she tapped on the cover of . "Learn."

Yang Wei: "..."

After Teacher Yao"s departure, Yang Wei stared at her desk for a moment. Then she picked up and read it.

In Imperial City University, Qi Xiao Yan sat in his office, a frown on his face. A blank piece of paper sat in front of him. The head of the mathematics department came over and patted him on the shoulder. "Little Qi, are you having some trouble?"

Qi Xiao Yan nodded.

The head"s interest was provoked. Something that could so worry and preoccupy Professor Qi must surely be a world-renowned problem. "The four-color map theorem? The Hodge conjecture?"

"Do you know how to write a love poem?"

Well, in a way, this certainly was a world-renowned problem.

He stared at Qi Xiao Yan for a while before realizing that he actually was serious about this question. Was the smog so heavy nowadays that he had somehow taken the wrong road in? Must Professor Qi also write love poems to chase girls? His face was worth a thousand words!

He coughed and suggested, "Maybe you could ask Professor Tang from the Chinese Department."

Qi Xiao Yan sat there thinking, but did not leave. His department head moved to sit beside him and said earnestly, "What"s the use of a love poem when chasing girls? It"s all empty words. You must give them something real."

With a slight frown, Qi Xiao Yan replied, "Really?"

The department head darted a look around and whispered in his ear, "I overheard a student in my cla.s.s say that girls like men who are great at kissing and can really rock the boat."

Professor Qi was lost in thought. He had slept with Yang Wei many times, and kissed her even more. There shouldn"t be any issues there, right? Yang Wei had never complained about his technique.

"But you know, I never knew girls nowadays like sailing so much. I actually ended up going to the park close to my house to practice rowing for a couple days."

Qi Xiao Yan: "..."

He would know the truth one day, but maybe not right now.

Right then, in came Professor Wu from the Department of Mathematics. When he saw Qi Xiao Yan and the department head huddled together whispering to each other, he went up and inquired, "What are you doing sneaking around like that?"

The department head looked up at him and said airily, "Oh, Little Qi is going to go ask the professors of the Chinese department how to write love poems."

"Writing love poems? Do you even need to consult the Chinese department for this?! Our Mathematics department has its own writing style!"

"Oh? Maybe a song?"

Professor Wu walked to the table and raised an eyebrow inquiringly at Qi Xiao Yan. "Have you ever heard of formula love poems?"

"Formula love poems?"

"Yes." Professor Wu picked up a pen from the desk and quickly wrote a formula onto the paper. "See anything special? The graph of this function shows a heart1There are actually quite a few, and . Just in case any of you need to impress the ladies (or gents) in the future.!"

"You can do that?" The department head opened his eyes wide.

"There are more." Professor Wu wrote down another equation and asked Qi Xiao Yan, "What is the answer?"

Qi Xiao Yan glanced down. "520.1314."

"It means "I love you all my life"2If you mumble the numbers, 520 sounds like "I love you" in Chinese. 1314 sounds much like "one life one death".." Fearing they wouldn"t understand, Professor Wu translated helpfully.

A light sparked in Qi Xiao Yan"s eyes. Yang Wei would probably be unable to understand something this complicated, but it gave him a direction to work in.

Before the end of morning self-study, Yang Wei received a text message from Curly-bae -

If I were a mathematical equation, you would be the only positive solution.

Yang Wei: "..."

She stared at the text message for a minute before bursting out in laughter. What is h.e.l.l was this mathematical equation?! What the h.e.l.l was this positive solution?! What the h.e.l.l kind of love poem was this?!!

Thus that first love poem was dubbed "What The h.e.l.l".

After a while, her phone screen lit up again. It was from Fang Cheng Ran this time. Yang Wei raised a brow and moved to the window to pick up the call. "Fang Cheng Ran, what"s up?"

A smile was in Fang Cheng Ran"s voice. "If your painting is done and you"re free this evening, I was hoping to invite you to dinner."

Yang Wei thought for a while, then said, "Fang Cheng Ran, there is something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Well... Qi Xiao Yan asked me to remarry him."

Fang Cheng Ran was silent for a while. "Did you say yes?"

"Not yet."

"If you haven"t yet agreed, then I should still be able to pursue you, right?"

Yang Wei bit her lip and sighed. "But this feels unfair to you."

"As long as there is still a chance, I won"t give up. I"ll ask again next time." Fang Cheng Ran hung up the phone. He made his way to the computer and sat down to scrutinize his word doc.u.ment for a while. Then he deleted everything he had just written and knocked out a new version.

On that day, after the update of , the readers were all collectively silenced for three minutes, before the comments gushed out like lava during a volcanic eruption.

"What is this, G.o.d?! The man who saved the princess by all possible means just stabbed her with his own hands?!"

"I guess Great G.o.d must want to change the woman [bye bye]"

"I guess Great G.o.d must have been deeply disappointed in love :)"

"Am I the only one who thinks that the blackened male lead just completely blew up?"

"This is more like the Great G.o.d we know [great smile]"

Yang Wei was also following the story, and was caught entirely unprepared for the latest chapter. She logged onto Weibo and sent a private message to Wait For Three More Minutes. "Great G.o.d, something must have happened to you, right?"

Wait for Three More Minutes (V): My heart might have been broken qaq

Professor Please Take Medicine: *pat pat* Since it is still possible, there is still a chance, you can do it!

Wait for Three More Minutes (V): Really?

Professor Please Take Medicine: Really, believe me!

Wait for Three More Minutes (V): Thank you, I seem to have regained some confidence. qwq

Yang Wei smiled, making her way out from the school gate. Qi Xiao Yan"s car was parked at the door, and she got on, following him to the supermarket near the apartment. Qi Xiao Yan threw a bunch of things into the shopping cart, and as he walked to the checkout counter, he picked two brightly colored square boxes from the shelves.

Yang Wei looked at the things he was holding, her face utterly embarra.s.sed. "Mr. Qi, even high school students know that isn"t chewing gum!"

Qi Xiao Yan raised a brow. "Mmm."

Mmm?

Yang Wei gnashed her teeth. "Don"t buy that!"

He looked back at her. "You don"t like strawberry flavour? Then, mint?"

"I mean, why buy this?!"

"Because our family"s out of them."

Yang Wei: "..."

Such excellent logic.

Qi Xiao Yan seemed to think of something. "I didn"t use one last night, if..."

"There"s no "if"!" Yang Wei interrupted him in exasperation.

He stopped talking and unloaded the shopping cart onto the checkout table. When the young cashier saw him, her eyes lit up. "Mister, I haven"t seen you in ages! How much money do you figure it is today?"

"578 dollars and 36 cents."

The cashier bordered on worship as she scanned the item barcodes one by one. When the total came out, she said excitedly, "It is exactly 578.36 yuan, thank you for your patronage!"

At the back, Yang Wei had her hands over her face. She never wanted to come to this supermarket again.

The two went home with several large bags in their arms. On one side, Yang Wei leaned on the wall, watching Qi Xiao Yan put groceries into the refrigerator in an orderly manner. "You should probably head out once you"re done. I"ve got to teach a cla.s.s later. "

Qi Xiao Yan paused in his actions before giving her a sidelong glance. "A painting cla.s.s?"

"Yeah."

He nodded. After putting everything away, he really did pick up the car keys and leave. When he reached the door, he suddenly turned around and told her, "You"re very beautiful today."

Yang Wei stood stock still, stunned, for a long time before she finally realized that this was what she had asked for before - to praise her beauty once each day. She threw herself onto the sofa and couldn"t stop laughing, her pillow in her arms.

How had she never found out before how adorable Professor Qi was?