Over the next few weeks Ca.s.sie lived in terror that Cole was going to learn the truth. It had become evident that he suspected that she was keeping something from him. And he also seemed to sense that it had to do with Jake. When he"d first tried to pin her down about her reasons for wanting to keep them apart, pure panic had washed through her. She"d had to force herself to calm down and respond as if her behavior was merely the reaction of a single mom.
She had thought at the time that Cole had bought her explanation about not allowing Jake to start counting on anyone who wasn"t likely to be around permanently. She"d also tried to be less overt about keeping the two of them apart, finding legitimate excuses to get Jake out of the house whenever Cole was likely to stop by. She"d been pleased by her success.
But then Cole had brought over that blasted computer, and it was clear that he intended to stick around and teach Jake to use it. When she"d tried to protest, the look he"d given her told her that nothing she said was going to be convincing. He was on to her, and sooner or later he was going to demand answers.
If her own determination to keep silent were the only thing at issue, she was sure the secret of Jake"s paternity would be safe enough, but there was Frank Davis to consider. She didn"t trust Cole"s father not to tell him everything. It had been evident during their confrontation that he wanted, in fact expected, Cole to claim Jake as the Davis heir. She doubted he would patiently wait forever for that to happen.
As it had ever since her return home, the debate over what to do raged in her head, setting off yet another dull, throbbing headache.
"Ca.s.sie, are you okay?" her mother asked weakly.
She forced a smile and turned back to the bed where her mother was resting after her first radiation treatment. The trip to Denver was more tiring for her than the treatment itself.
"I"m fine," Ca.s.sie fibbed.
"You"re worried about the amount of time Jake and Cole are spending together, aren"t you?"
"I"ve done everything I can to keep them apart," she admitted. "I don"t know what else to do, short of telling Cole the truth."
"Why not do that?" she said. "Face it, Ca.s.sie. He"s going to figure it out sooner or later. Wouldn"t it be better if the truth came from you?"
Ca.s.sie knew her mother was right, but she simply hadn"t been able to work up the courage to say the words. "I don"t know how to tell him, not after all this time."
"Would you like me to do it?"
She shook her head. "No, I have to be the one." She faced her mother, grateful for this opening. "There"s something I don"t understand."
"What?"
"Why are you and Frank Davis both so eager for the truth to come out, when years ago you couldn"t wait to break us up?"
What little color there had been in her mother"s cheeks faded. "Why..." she began, but her voice faltered. "Why would you say something like that?"
"I know, Mom. Mr. Davis told me all about the letter you kept from me, the one in which Cole explained why he had to leave. He also told me about the letter you wrote to Cole telling him I didn"t want him in my life anymore."
Tears tracked down her mother"s cheeks. She reached for Ca.s.sie"s hand. Her frail grasp was icy cold. "I"m sorry. We thought it was for the best."
"You mean Mr. Davis thought it was best."
"No," her mother said sharply. "We agreed. You were both too young."
"But I was having a baby, and you"ve already admitted that you knew it was Cole"s. Things might have been so different."
"No," her mother said just as adamantly. "Nothing would have been any different. Frank would never have approved of a marriage between the two of you. He would have found a way to stop it. Once I knew about the baby, I told him-in fact, I begged him-to let you and Cole work it out, but he refused. I would have gone to Cole myself, but I didn"t know where he was. Frank gave me the money for your medical expenses. He promised me more if I let things be, but I never took another dime."
She squeezed Ca.s.sie"s hand. "Not another dime," she repeated.
"Oh, Mom," Ca.s.sie whispered wearily. "You should have gone ahead and taken the money. The damage was done."
"I couldn"t. I already felt guilty enough. I could barely look you in the face. When Jake was born, I thought of all we could have done for him with that money, but by then it was too late. And that wasn"t the worst of it. When Cole came by here to visit, to ask after you, I slammed the door on him. I couldn"t bear to face him after what I"d done to keep you apart, to keep him from his own son."
Her mother sighed. "I shudder to think what would have happened to me if he knew all of that. He certainly wouldn"t have offered to pay my medical expenses."
"Yes he would," Ca.s.sie rea.s.sured her. "And he does know, because I told him that much at least. I told him about the letters."
"When?"
"A few weeks ago, right after your surgery."
"And he never said a word," her mother said, looking amazed. "And all this time he"s been paying for my radiation treatments and taking me to Denver."
Ca.s.sie nodded.
"That should tell you something, then."
"What?"
"If he can forgive me, then surely he"ll be able to forgive you."
Ca.s.sie wanted desperately to believe that, but what she had done wasn"t the same. It wasn"t the same thing at all. She had once professed to love Cole, and yet she had kept their child a secret from him...and was continuing to do so.
Despite all of Ca.s.sie"s warnings and her threats of dire punishments, she knew that Jake was still trying to come up with ways to sneak off to the Davis ranch. Maybe it was simply the lure of the forbidden. More likely it was hero worship.
So far she"d caught Jake half a dozen times on the outskirts of town, riding the bike he"d repaired. At this rate the boy was going to be grounded until he hit thirty. It didn"t seem to faze him, though. He simply tried a more inventive approach the next time.
As if that weren"t nerve-racking enough, since Jake wasn"t going to him, Cole continued to stop by her house unannounced, bringing thoughtful treats for her mother and disconcerting kisses for her. She hadn"t figured out a way to get the man to keep his hands and his mouth to himself. He had history on his side. She hadn"t been able to do it ten years ago, either.
She had just kicked off her shoes and propped her feet on the porch railing, when Cole"s car turned into the driveway. He emerged in a pair of faded jeans that hugged his hips, and a T-shirt that stretched taut over his broad shoulders. It was hard to imagine that this was the same man whose computer company had just reported earnings in the millions. She sighed when she thought about it. If they had been a lousy match ten years ago, there was an even greater divide between them now. He was a college-educated business whiz. She was a waitress with a high school diploma.
"Why are you here?" she inquired testily.
Undaunted by her att.i.tude, he shot her a grin. "To improve your mood, for starters."
"Exactly how are you planning to do that?" she inquired warily.
"I"m going to take you away from all this. Get your bathing suit."
"Why?"
"This is an impulsive moment, darlin". Stop asking so many questions. I never used to have to work so hard to persuade you to come with me. I seem to recall a time when you couldn"t wait to sneak off to be alone with me."
"I"m older and wiser now."
"More"s the pity." He nudged her bare, aching feet off the railing. "Get a move on."
"Maybe I don"t enjoy swimming," she said grumpily.
"Since when?"
"Since right this second."
He sighed heavily and sat beside her. "Okay, spill it. What"s really going on here? Did somebody sneak out of Stella"s today without paying the bill? Did somebody stiff you on your tip?"
"Everything at work went just fine."
"Then this grouchiness has to do with me?"
Him, the situation, the lies, everything. Her life was a mess. Not that she admitted any of that. Unfortunately, he seemed to interpret her silence as agreement.
"What did I do?" he asked.
"Nothing," she admitted. "You"ve been great."
"But?"
Finally she leveled a look straight at him and repeated her earlier question. "Why are you here?"
"To take you swimming."
"But why?"
"Because it"s a hot day and I thought we could cool off in the river, then have a picnic. That used to be your favorite way to spend a summer evening."
It had also been what had gotten them into trouble. Being alone and scantily clad had led to steamy kisses and eventually, on that one memorable night, to making love. He wasn"t fooling her one bit. That was exactly the way he saw the evening ending tonight, too.
"I"m not as young and foolish as I once was."
He frowned at that. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I am not interested in letting you seduce me."
She had expected anger or at the very least irritation, but instead he chuckled.
"Okay, then, you you can seduce can seduce me, me," he said cheerfully. "I"m easy."
"No seduction, period."
He shrugged, as if it didn"t matter a bit to him one way or the other. "Suit yourself. Bring Jake along as a chaperon."
As if he"d been lurking just inside the door waiting for a chance to join them, Jake stepped onto the porch and let the screen door slam shut behind him.
"Bring me where? And what"s a chaperon?"
"You are grounded, young man," Ca.s.sie said, regarding him sternly. "You"re not going anywhere. And eavesdropping is not polite."
"But, Mom..."
"Inside," she said, gesturing in that direction. "You know the rules."
"You"re ruining my whole summer," he protested. He inched closer to Cole. "Tell her."
Though Cole looked as if he wanted to ask a whole lot of questions, he merely shrugged. "She"s your mother. You do as she says."
"But it"s not fair. What did I do that was so wrong? I just wanted to go over to see Cole. He said I could." He gazed up at Cole. "Didn"t you? You said I could come anytime."
"With your mother"s permission," Cole reminded him. "Is that what this is all about? You were sneaking off to the ranch again?"
"More than once," Ca.s.sie told him before facing Jake. "Inside now, or I swear I"ll add another day to your grounding."
Tears welled up in Jake"s eyes. "I hate you!" he shouted. "I hate you and I wish we"d never come here!"
The words cut through her like well-aimed knives, but she couldn"t relent. She simply couldn"t. What she was doing was for the best.
But then Jake whirled away from her, and instead of going inside as she"d ordered, he threw himself at Cole. "I wish you were my dad. Then I could come and live with you."
Dismay welled up in her throat. She wanted to cry out, to protest. She didn"t think she"d reacted aloud, but she must have, because Cole"s gaze shot to hers and suddenly she saw that he knew, that in that instant he"d guessed the truth she had been trying so desperately to hide.
She also saw the cold rage in his eyes as it stripped away the warmth she"d come to yearn for.
"Son," he said, his voice faltering ever so slightly. His hand rested for just an instant on Jake"s head. Finally he added, "Do as your mother asked, Jake. Go inside."
Jake seemed to sense that the mood on the porch had shifted in some way. Though his expression remained sullen, he went into the house, but not without slamming the door emphatically behind him.
Ca.s.sie waited, frozen, for Cole to say something, anything.
His gaze was d.a.m.ning.
"Is it true?" he asked eventually. "Is Jake my son?"
She tried to speak, tried desperately to find the right words, but none came. Finally she just nodded.
"And all this time you never said a word," he said, regarding her with disbelief. "Not one single word."
"You"d left me," she reminded him. "What was I supposed to do, run after you?"
He winced at that, but his expression didn"t soften. "Yes," he said. "You were supposed to come after me. I had a right to know."
"You left me," she repeated. "You had no rights. None at all."
"That boy in there is my son," he all but shouted. At her frantic glance toward the house, he lowered his voice. "I had rights, dammit! And so did he. He had the right not to be born a b.a.s.t.a.r.d. He had the right to have my name, my love."