Chapter 228: It Freaking Hurts
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
He wanted to walk up.
How could he not want to go up?
He wanted to walk up to her and ask her directly, “What’s wrong? Why are you wearing someone else’s coat?”
No, he couldn’t ask that. He should say, “Jin Nian, happy birthday. 1 came here especially to celebrate your birthday.”
No, he should have pulled her away and said, “Jin Nian, you idiot. Don’t you know that 1 like you? Why do you have to be so close to others?”
No, that’s not right. It doesn’t seem right. No matter what, it doesn’t seem right.
Lu An, who had always ignored the thoughts of others and only acted according to his will, was a little helpless. He didn’t know what to do. He thought about how he should start chatting with Jin Nian after not seeing her for a few months. However, it seemed that nothing he did would be right.
Therefore, he just stood there quietly and looked at Jin Nian.
He watched Jin Nian holding hands with another boy under the streetlight.
How did he feel then?
Lu An could still remember the pain. His heart seemed to have been cut out alive. Blood was flowing out, but the flesh and blood were all spilled on his body in the process of the rough cutting and tearing. Something like concentrated sulfuric acid dropped endlessly onto his skin. His skin was corroded layer by layer, turning black.
It hurts. It hurts so much!
If he didn’t go forward and disturb Jinnian, he wouldn’t make any mistakes and wouldn’t do anything “wrong”. This was all the gentleness he could give.
Lu An didn’t know what gentleness was. He had learned all those gentle ways of dealing with people from Jin Nian, so he could only give her all of them.
At that moment, Lu An felt as if his brain was being nibbled away bit by bit. He was like a soulless walking corpse. He walked out of Jin Nian’s school empty-heartedly according to the orders left in his brain. Every step he took felt like he was walking on the tip of a knife, and blood was dripping from his body.
He walked all the way and finally came to a tattoo shop. The signboard of the tattoo shop was colorful, and those non-mainstream and chuunibyou patterns were hung at the entrance of the shop as promotional signs.
He asked the shop a.s.sistant if tattooing hurt.
The shop a.s.sistant replied, “Everyone’s tolerance and sensitivity to pain are different. It varies from person to person. However, generally speaking, the smaller the tattoo area, the less painful it would be.”
He asked again, “What can 1 do to feel hurt?
The shop a.s.sistant had never heard of such a request from a customer, but she still replied good-naturedly, “When the tattoo area is large, and there’s no anesthetic.”
Lu An chose the largest pattern and got someone to tattoo it on his arm.
He did not hesitate at all.
Whether it was six years ago or now, people would more or less have some prejudice against people with large tattoos. The shop a.s.sistant repeatedly confirmed with Lu An if he had to get such a big tattoo.
Lu An was very decisive. “No need to put on anesthetic. Just do it.”
The needles pierced into his skin as if there were thousands of ants gnawing on his flesh.
Lu An didn’t frown at all. His expression was extremely calm. He seemed to have suddenly fallen in love with this pain.
A few days after the tattoo, the tattooed area began to swell and scab, followed by an endless itch. Lu An ignored the shop a.s.sistant’s instructions. He directly scratched and tore the scab away, leaving b.l.o.o.d.y marks on his arm.
The wound started to fester, then the skin festered, and finally scab formed. Then, it was torn off, and so forth.
That day, Lu An held himself back and went up to Jin Nian, but he couldn’t help but give her a call. He wished her a happy birthday.
This time, he didn’t ask if Jin Nian wanted him to come over.
He just pretended that he never came and made a call from afar.
The gifts that he wanted to give to Jin Nian were given to her by someone else instead.
When Jin Nian heard Lu An’s voice, she seemed very excited. “Little Anan, thank you for wishing me a happy birthday. How have you been recently?”
“I’m good.”
Jin Nian didn’t believe it. “Just a good level? You must have made a lot of good friends there!”
In fact, it wasn’t even good.
He did not have many friends.
However, Lu An didn’t clarify it, so she let Jin Nian think in that way.
The call lasted for almost twenty minutes, and Lu An was reluctant to hang up.
Jin Nian excitedly shared her recent situation with him.
She said that she had fallen in love with a senior, and now that senior had already responded to her.
Lu An didn’t say anything. He perfectly played the role of a listener.
He didn’t want to wish Jin Nian happiness with another man. He couldn’t pretend to be so carefree.
But it was good to just hear her voice..