Polly"s looking at us. She looks like she might burst into tears. She holds out her arms to me. We shamble over and clutch her close to us.
"Who"s going to get us out of this now?" we whisper. Our face is clear, unmarked, like the past never happened, like we"ve never fought our own battles before.
And Polly has nothing to say to us.
If you have not yet witnessed Marshal Haunt"s severance from the network, review section 11 on page 215. from the network, review section 11 on page 215.
Then return here and select another viewpoint
To continue in Shade"s viewpoint, select section 24 on page 237 To witness these events again from Polly"s viewpoint, select section 7 on page 206 select section 7 on page 206
To switch to Roba"s viewpoint, select section 22 on page 234 - then return here
9.
Haunt
We trudge about in the dark, playing out this stupid sick game. We can feel Schirr here. Out in the darkness.
The Doctor holds us up. He feels useless, we don"t need to try to spy on his head to get that signal. We have to keep stopping for him to rest.
We"re back thinking about Ashman. listening to the Doctor"s old-man-breathing here in the chilly darkness brings us crashing back to Toronto. Nothing else to do while he catches breath but look back. Try to warm ourselves round that inner image. Maybe others are looking in. Let them.
After the Schirr blast, we came round in the shattered data office an hour or so later, woken by the sound of screaming. office an hour or so later, woken by the sound of screaming.
We couldn"t swallow. Our head felt like someone was slamming it in a blast door. slamming it in a blast door.
It took us a few minutes to realise the screaming was Ashman"s. In combat his voice had always rung with calm Ashman"s. In combat his voice had always rung with calm authority. In pain, he sounded like a hysterical woman. The authority. In pain, he sounded like a hysterical woman. The noise was coming from outside the room. Most of the ceiling noise was coming from outside the room. Most of the ceiling had fallen inside it. had fallen inside it.
We wanted to help him. We tried to push ourself up. That"s when we found our arm was broken, and we joined our CO in when we found our arm was broken, and we joined our CO in the shrieking. the shrieking.
"Haunt! Ashman shouted, when he heard the noise. "Haunt, are you all right? Can you move?" are you all right? Can you move?"
The concern for us in his voice left us stunned. We even forgot the pain for a few seconds. "I"ll live" forgot the pain for a few seconds. "I"ll live"
"For G.o.d"s sake you"ve got to help me? Ashman moaned.
"Get to me. For G.o.d"s sake get to me."
We crawled past the remnants of the data inputter, and the leering mask of the Schirr. Incredibly, the medikit was intact. leering mask of the Schirr. Incredibly, the medikit was intact.
And Ashman and us, we were both alive. Lucky.
A slick of blood poured suddenly out of our mouth, over our chin and onto the floor. chin and onto the floor.
Bewildered, we checked our neck and found a jagged piece of metal sticking out there. of metal sticking out there.
Ashman was still screaming for help. But we knew that unless we helped ourself first we would both die. unless we helped ourself first we would both die.
We ripped a length of charred material from the dead woman"s shattered leg. Gathered a handful of pills from the woman"s shattered leg. Gathered a handful of pills from the floor around the medical kit, tried to fathom them. Gave up and floor around the medical kit, tried to fathom them. Gave up and swallowed the lot. swallowed the lot.
We didn"t dare pull out the piece of metal from our neck straight away. We didn"t know what else it might pull out. But straight away. We didn"t know what else it might pull out. But we worked out the metal was probably from the back of the we worked out the metal was probably from the back of the monitor housing, and just knowing that made us feel a bit monitor housing, and just knowing that made us feel a bit better. Crazy. Ever since we were a child, we always felt we better. Crazy. Ever since we were a child, we always felt we could handle anything as long as we understood it. Got it. could handle anything as long as we understood it. Got it.
Weren"t floundering about, out of our depth.
"You"ll never fall in love, then! our mother used to tease us.
There was a small hole in the ruined doorway. We wormed through. Ashman was lying in the corridor. His body was bent through. Ashman was lying in the corridor. His body was bent all wrongly. It looked like it was only his combat suit that was all wrongly. It looked like it was only his combat suit that was holding it together. holding it together.
His face was a sticky red-black where the blast had stripped his skin away. But he must still be able to see through the eye his skin away. But he must still be able to see through the eye that hadn"t melted into the flesh, because he fell silent when that hadn"t melted into the flesh, because he fell silent when he saw us. It was one of those stupid, slushy moments when he saw us. It was one of those stupid, slushy moments when you look at each other and you feel the electricity. Power there, you look at each other and you feel the electricity. Power there, between two people. Like in books. He started shaking, between two people. Like in books. He started shaking, trembling for us as we crept towards him. He wanted us. trembling for us as we crept towards him. He wanted us.
Needed us. He would die without us. We could feel it, and we shivered. shivered.
"Are. .."It was tough to talk with the metal in our neck. "Are you OK?" you OK?"
"You"re funny," he said. Like normal.
We held out a handful of painkillers. He lunged for them like they were diamonds. But his hand was shaking too much to they were diamonds. But his hand was shaking too much to keep hold of them. They fell and scattered on the floor We keep hold of them. They fell and scattered on the floor We picked up each one and tucked it inside his mouth. He picked up each one and tucked it inside his mouth. He moaned, like we were feeding him strawberries dipped in moaned, like we were feeding him strawberries dipped in chocolate. He coughed pathetically as he tried to swallow them chocolate. He coughed pathetically as he tried to swallow them down. His eyes stared blankly at the metal stuck in our throat, down. His eyes stared blankly at the metal stuck in our throat, but he said nothing. but he said nothing.
Finally, his shaking hand gestured to his comms unit, just out of reach. "More Schirr, they said," he muttered. His voice out of reach. "More Schirr, they said," he muttered. His voice was hoa.r.s.e. "Unit came down outside. Took most of us out." was hoa.r.s.e. "Unit came down outside. Took most of us out."
"Did we beat them?
"Don"t think so."
Neither of us said anything for a while. We listened to Ashman"s breathing grow gradually easier. Ours got worse. Ashman"s breathing grow gradually easier. Ours got worse.
Throat felt like it was closing up. We coughed and felt something hot flood out the back of our nose. There was something hot flood out the back of our nose. There was nothing to break the silence now. The shadows were thick and nothing to break the silence now. The shadows were thick and coal-black. One emergency light still flickered half-heartedly. coal-black. One emergency light still flickered half-heartedly.
We fixed up our neck as best we could. Lay down beside him, careful not to get too close. We wanted to but we knew him, careful not to get too close. We wanted to but we knew somehow that would hurt us more. somehow that would hurt us more.
"They might come for us," we whispered.
"Who?"
"Help."
A pause. "I thought you meant the Schirr: "I thought you meant the Schirr: "No."
"If the Schirr won, they might want to get back down here,"
Ashman said slowly. "Finish off whatever they wanted to do."
We didn"t answer. We felt so tongue-tied this close to him, seeing him so vulnerable. seeing him so vulnerable.
What could we say? Someone who"d been so strong, weak like an old man, catching his breath. like an old man, catching his breath.
Like the Doctor now, who can"t even make a crummy mile in the dark.
That feeling, the fear and resentment and the sorrow, never left us over the days that followed. We painfully built the left us over the days that followed. We painfully built the rudiments of a nest about the two of us. The rest of the dead rudiments of a nest about the two of us. The rest of the dead woman"s clothing made a cushion for Ashman"s head. A half-melted plastic covering draped over one of the ruined banks of woman"s clothing made a cushion for Ashman"s head. A half-melted plastic covering draped over one of the ruined banks of equipment served as a blanket for us both. It was freezing equipment served as a blanket for us both. It was freezing now in the silent, shattered corridor. now in the silent, shattered corridor.
Somehow, under Ashman"s direction, we manhandled the ruined monitor into the corridor. There was no power supply, ruined monitor into the corridor. There was no power supply, but Ashman told us that by crossing some of the wires inside, but Ashman told us that by crossing some of the wires inside, we could generate enough current to heat up the casing, and we could generate enough current to heat up the casing, and so warm us in the chill of those fitful days and nights. But so warm us in the chill of those fitful days and nights. But Ashman was wrong. We crossed every wire in the machine, Ashman was wrong. We crossed every wire in the machine, every possible combination methodically, but it remained cold. every possible combination methodically, but it remained cold.
Dead. This was a ritual we had to go through every day; sometimes several times in a day. Our failures incensed sometimes several times in a day. Our failures incensed Ashman. He insisted it was possible if only we could do it Ashman. He insisted it was possible if only we could do it right. And when we didn"t, he laid into us, ordered us away in right. And when we didn"t, he laid into us, ordered us away in disgust. He"d only call us back when he couldn"t last a minute disgust. He"d only call us back when he couldn"t last a minute longer without the painkillers we would ease into the dry split longer without the painkillers we would ease into the dry split of his mouth. of his mouth.
He was getting worse. We felt like we were dying with him.
Light-headed, we would glare for hours at a time at the broken bulk of the useless monitor. bulk of the useless monitor.
Then finally, days later, once life had dwindled to little more than a cold, painful sleep punctuated by rummages through than a cold, painful sleep punctuated by rummages through the dregs of the medikit, the comms unit squawked into the dregs of the medikit, the comms unit squawked into sudden life. sudden life.
The voice was heavily distorted, but it sounded like a woman. It said something about victory, and about help. woman. It said something about victory, and about help.
Ashman stared at it dumbly, and we felt a stab of pain in our hungry stomach. They would come for us. They would our hungry stomach. They would come for us. They would help. They would help Ashman like we never could. help. They would help Ashman like we never could.
He grunted at us. We turned. He was looking straight at us with his good eye. with his good eye.
Holding out his hand to us. It wasn"t shaking so badly now.
Can you feel it now? How our quiet shrivelled little heart quickened? We even dared to smile back at him. We reached quickened? We even dared to smile back at him. We reached out our fingers to his, touched them, entwined them. out our fingers to his, touched them, entwined them.
Everything seemed too hot. Our breath steamed out into the dank air like a warm kiss to him. dank air like a warm kiss to him.
He pulled free, smacked our hand away, threw out his palm again. again.
"The pills, you stupid useless b.i.t.c.h. I need more of the pills."
We froze. Froze everywhere. Then we reached into our pocket for the painkillers and we hurled them away as far as pocket for the painkillers and we hurled them away as far as we could. Like our senses, scattered to the shadows. we could. Like our senses, scattered to the shadows.
Ashman bellowed like we"d stuck him with a knife.
"Forgive me." The Doctor"s voice in the dark. "I"m ready to go on, now."
We jump like a current"s just been put through us.
The Doctor"s looking at us expectantly. Was he in our head watching the show or was he...
We slip back there for just another moment before we have to go on.
This was the moment. When everything changed.
Our good hand was groping around in the dust and the dark for the pills. We despaired of finding them before help came. for the pills. We despaired of finding them before help came.
We pictured the rescue party in the ruins outside doing much the same as us. Hunting round uselessly in the dark for tiny, the same as us. Hunting round uselessly in the dark for tiny, meaningless things. meaningless things.
It"s as dark here.
The Doctor"s set off again, breathless along the tunnel.
We feel our side. It"s sticky, pink and gleaming in the torchlight. We knew it was coming but still we"re shocked.
Repulsed. And we know this is just a tiny taste of what the future holds.
The Doctor beckons to us. We have to pick up the search.
To switch to Frog"s viewpoint, select section 3 on page 200 To switch to Creben"s viewpoint, select section 20 on page 230
10.